Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sandwich on January 24, 2006, 05:14:37 pm
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http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
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Older than the intarweb.
But still hilarious. :D
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Not this again.
*stabs Sandwich[/color]
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Me and some friends of mine were looking at these in our computer class the a few weeks ago. We told a few other people about it and within only a few days everyone in the school is rattling off Chuck Norris facts. The guy who sits next to me in band was telling me some of the 'best' ones while I was trying to explain that I was there when the whole thing started (in our school, that is. I was pretty sure these facts were old as soon as I saw them). So basically, I'm tired of Chuck Norris.
PS: in many cases Solid Snake/Big Boss can be substituted for Chuck Norris and still make the statement true. :p
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ya, recently some friends of mine have been rattling off Chuck Norris jokes, and one continues to make new ones up. Stupid, but good cheap entertainment.
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theres only onr fact you need to understamd about chuck norris:
he cant act worth a ****
this has been a psa from the hate chuck norris foundation, please send your donations to nuke
:D
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Not this again.
*stabs Sandwich[/color]
*gives sandwich some morphene
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chuck norris the ninjarobot zombie pirate
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I think my favorite is, "Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did."
Either that or, "Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice."
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Not this again.
*stabs Sandwich[/color]
You do see this 0.5" Browning I'm holding right here in my hands, right?
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this is like that Vin Diesel thing a while back huh?
"****ing Chuck Norris"-Dodgeball :p
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I haven't seen these facts before - Hilarious :lol:
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There's one of these on almost any celebrity out there. :sigh:
/me helps BeeDee and stabs sarny too. First making sure to be wearing active camoflauge, radar and heat deflecting shielding, and 2' thick metal armour.
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i think sandwich would look better if he was holding a gau-17 instead :D
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/me bans BD and Raa without a second thought...
;D
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**** Chuck Norris, honestly. Mr T facts, *****es (http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php)
When Chuck Norris interrupted Mr. T's breakfast of diesel fuel and shovels, Mr. T stood up and Chuck Norris **** himself, knowing a roundhouse kick to the face was useless to Mr. T's pity.
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Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
How original
I wonder if Mr. T. did that too
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I've seen these facts replaced with Jack Bauer (sp?), (the 24 guy). When a friend excitedly showed me, I couldn't help be frustrated. "These were originally about Chuck Norris," I said. "And these came out ages ago too, why are the just now getting popular after I'm long tired of them?" :blah:
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Yeah, some are copied from site to site, but there are a lot of good ones.
Some believe that Mr. T. is unintelligent because he uses what we believe to be made up words like jibba jabba. However those words are the answers to the most complicated mathematical problems in the universe. Mr. T. has known this his entire life and does not tell anyone because ones brain would implode if you tried to comprehend the question. Mr. T. pities those who try.
Few people know that "The A-Team" was completely true. The only thing the producers invented was that the A-Team had been in Vietnam. If Mr. T had actually been fighting for the US in Vietnam, Saigon would be the capital of America's fifty-first state right now.
After Jesus turned water into wine, Mr. T turned that wine into blood and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke settled all that remained was a giant wooden "T" and Jesus knew he was in trouble.
Contrary to popular belief, the corners of the Bermuda Triangle are Mr. T, Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris. Nobody's coming out of there alive.
The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.
Knowing that no human being was good enough for him to bring down the red carpet at the premier of Rocky III, Mr. T brought his pet anaconda as a guest instead. At least that's who onlookers thought he brought. It turns out Mr. T decided to go totally alone. What was thought to be an anaconda at the time actually turned out to be the worst wardrobe malfunctions in red carpet history.
When Mr. T was circumsized, his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead, it was raised as a normal child and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
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There's one of these on almost any celebrity out there. :sigh:
/me helps BeeDee and stabs sarny too. First making sure to be wearing active camoflauge, radar and heat deflecting shielding, and 2' thick metal armour.
Not this again.
*stabs Sandwich[/color]
You do see this 0.5" Browning I'm holding right here in my hands, right?
/me bans BD and Raa without a second thought...
;D
*nukes everything
When Mr. T was circumsized, his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead, it was raised as a normal child and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
hehe... lol
It's funny because,... well I don't know why it's funny, but it is funny.
Or at least I think so.
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Odd real Chuck Norris fact, J. Michael Strazychhsiki (however the hell it's spelled) wrote for Walker Texas Ranger.
I can see the interview now:
Norris: Our last damn writer was a liberal, atheist, tea-drinker. Who's up on the list?
Hirer: Jay Michael Strazychsikisiki.
Norris: What the **** sort of name is that? He can't be a good Christian with a name like that! Is he a Ruskie?
Hirer: Nope. But it turns out in his resume it says he's actually read the bible, along with the koran, kaballah.
Norris: Wait a tar-hootin' moment, he read his bible?
Hirer: Well yes, he's got a pretty decent background of reading a lot of history, comparative religions, etc.
Norris: He's hired! Darn toohanery damnit!
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speaking of chucj norris http://wowtwonewraces.ytmnd.com/
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I'm sorry, redmenace, but you're not Carl.
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umm ok
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Carl is the keeper of the YTMND links, and you just can't keep up with the resident Shivan.
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I coulda sworn that was WMC's job though.
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Definitely Carl. Though WMC may be a pretender to the throne....
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Definitely Carl. Though WMC may be a pretender to the throne....
Carl is a Shivan, and Shivans must die.
Purge the world with fire and lead, brothers.
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Definitely Carl. Though WMC may be a pretender to the throne....
Carl is a Shivan, and Shivans must die.
Purge the world with fire and lead, brothers.
No, Carl is Che Peppers. Stay up to date.