Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: karajorma on February 18, 2006, 07:00:32 pm
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http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/17/fish_attack/
Nurse attacks colleague with frozen fish
A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse was today hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.
The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - was one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings
You can almost see the sketch now, can't you? :)
She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.
All the incidents took place during 2003 at the Kent and Sussex Hospital in Tunbridge Wells.
Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:
Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.
Mrs Jennings was neither present nor represented at the proceedings. She was, a spokeswoman for the Nursing and Midwifery Council has confirmed by email, struck off the nursing register earlier today.
Must be something in the air cause from the same day and the same general area.
Man menaces cops with didgeridoo
A man was today sentenced to 180 hours' community service for threatening police with a didgeridoo after shouting: "Come on then. I'll have you," in the traditional British style.
According to UK tabloid the Sun, officers were called to the scene of an alleged assault in Seaford, East Sussex, last June. Bricklayer Ryan Jones, 23, had attacked a friend who he believed had been up to no good with a previous girlfriend.
When the cops showed up they discovered Jones outside the house covered in blood. He immediately issued his shouted threat, rushed into the property and emerged brandishing his enormous Antipodean weapon like a “wild animal that had been caged, pacing around while watching the officers with his weapon raised in anticipation of striking out", as one copper later put it.
Jones was eventually subdued by a combination of pepper spray and wrestling to the ground. He required further pepper spray treatment at the police station.
Upon leaving the court today, Jones said: "I had only just started to learn to play the didgeridoo too."
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Nice!
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ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
Schlip-a-schlap-a vay
ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
Schlap away all day
ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
You simply can't go wrong
Vith traditional fish-schlapping song
I wonder if it's possible to see the musical somehow without getting to broadway.
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To get along on Broadway,
To sing a song on Broadway,
To hit the top on Broadway and not lose,
I tell you, Arthur king,
There is one essential thing...
There simply must be, simply must be Jews.
You're clearly missing something, kode.
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"What? Your arms off!" "No it isnt.""Its only a flesh wound."
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am i the only one to find monty python more annoying than amusing?
crazy british humor.
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Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.
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Gumby sketches FTW
"i'mmm gooiing tooo ooperraate"
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I agree, they're not funny. They're hilarious :D
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Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.
are you sure about that ? And how can you have too much Python ?
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!"
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Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.
are you sure about that ? And how can you have too much Python ?
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!"
The answer: You can't!
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Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.
Equate those two things again and I'll shove a bean pole up yer arse.
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Bo Selecta? Who's he?
And LOL at the articles :)
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I could quote teh whole 'quest for the holy grail' movie offhand its so good..
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*hides all the holy hand grenades. ;7
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Ach, cheer up! (http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Sounds/LifeOfBrian/lfbr.au)
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<iMike> monty python would be funny if nerds hadnt invented an entire subculture devoted to quoting it.
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Monty Python was damn funny, but Blackadder was the greatest.
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After watching House, and not knowing who Hugh Laurie was, then watching Blackadder, made it so much more funny than what it already is. That's an awesome series, and seeing Hugh act like such a goof is great
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Over here I have to pay good money to get a girl to dress up as a nurse and beat me with a trout. I gotta move to Britain.
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Monty Python was damn funny, but Blackadder was the greatest.
/me makes note to watch that DVD
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that area sounds like a nice place to live, lot's of things happening there to cheer up one's life.
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Monty Python was damn funny, but Blackadder was the greatest.
the earlier seasons, at least.
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First season was :/
Seasons 2 and 3 were hilarious.
"Never, ever try to be funny in my presence again Percy."
And I pity the foo' who doesn't see Monty Python's brilliance.
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I pity da foo who be thinkin Monty Python had brilliance.
Nothing says brilliance like playing with dead birds, slapping people with large trouts, and attacking your head with bricks.
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First season was :/
Seasons 2 and 3 were hilarious.
Did you not see season 4 then? It's hard to choose between 2,3 or 4 as to which one is the best. Season 1 was funny but nowhere near as good as the ones that followed.
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I pity da foo who be thinkin Monty Python had brilliance.
Nothing says brilliance like playing with dead birds, slapping people with large trouts, and attacking your head with bricks.
In the time "Flying Circus" was originally aired it was brilliant.
Maybe if it was produced nowadays it wouldn't raise a brow, with all the other over-the-top comedy shows. But stuff like the 'idiot olympics' remains above all that has come afterwards, and always will.
@kara: I guess I've seen em all (although it's hard to keep them seperate in my memory), but I remember it getting boring towards the end, might have been after season 4, though.
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Season 4 was the one set in WWI.
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I love the lumber jack song. Live version. :D
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Python and the likes of Bo Selecta cannot be compared. Whilst Bo Selecta is funny it is only funny for one or two watchings and then you realise it's the same stuff regurgitated every week with only minor differences. The Fast show was much the same with one or two absolutely wonderful moments coming along every few episodes.
Some people lap this stuff up, I find it pretty old hat after a few shows.
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Good sond, aldo.
I like House. It is a very good show. Speaking about sitcom, I like the new show on BBC4 - The Peep Show. Very weird but very funny :D
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It's channel 4 not BBC4 but yeah it's great. Very very weird though :)
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Never seen that myself. On a non-comedy related tangent, Life on Mars is bloody excellent.
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Fawlty Towers FTW
also Knights of the round table in lego was bloody brilliant!
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Never seen that myself. On a non-comedy related tangent, Life on Mars is bloody excellent.
It's well worth it. Only problem is that it's one of those shows that is really hard to describe to other people as you can't quite explain what was so funny about the almost normal everyday dialogue.
Agree with you about Life on Mars though. I almost missed it actually but Kietotheworld reminded me about it so I downloaded the first episode and really got into it :) Of course seeing as it's the last episode next week everyone who's been following it has to be wondering does he get back to 2006? :)
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I pity da foo who be thinkin Monty Python had brilliance.
Nothing says brilliance like playing with dead birds, slapping people with large trouts, and attacking your head with bricks.
In the time "Flying Circus" was originally aired it was brilliant.
Maybe if it was produced nowadays it wouldn't raise a brow, with all the other over-the-top comedy shows. But stuff like the 'idiot olympics' remains above all that has come afterwards, and always will.
@kara: I guess I've seen em all (although it's hard to keep them seperate in my memory), but I remember it getting boring towards the end, might have been after season 4, though.
I'm assuming you're referring to the upper-class twit of the year competition?
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Good sond, aldo.
I like House. It is a very good show. Speaking about sitcom, I like the new show on BBC4 - The Peep Show. Very weird but very funny :D
House is a good show, so is Monk, CSI both Miami and Las Vegas, :nod:
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Never seen that myself. On a non-comedy related tangent, Life on Mars is bloody excellent.
It's well worth it. Only problem is that it's one of those shows that is really hard to describe to other people as you can't quite explain what was so funny about the almost normal everyday dialogue.
Agree with you about Life on Mars though. I almost missed it actually but Kietotheworld reminded me about it so I downloaded the first episode and really got into it :) Of course seeing as it's the last episode next week everyone who's been following it has to be wondering does he get back to 2006? :)
Not if there's going to be another 2 series, I guess........
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*snip*
I'm assuming you're referring to the upper-class twit of the year competition?
I'm not sure, in the german version it was called idiot olympics.
The last competition was suicide, and the sketch ends with the 3 coffins on the winner podests.
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That would be the Upper-class Twit of the Year competition. "Idiot Olympics" doesn't adequately convey the fact they're all rich and inbred.
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Thanks for the correction, Kara :)
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Da, it was "Upper-class Twit of the Year competition".
I watched it just the other day actually.
"And now for something completely different."