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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on March 18, 2006, 09:46:51 am

Title: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: aldo_14 on March 18, 2006, 09:46:51 am
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

Quote

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: CP5670 on March 18, 2006, 09:56:32 am
Quote
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

So they have had previous experiences with this? :lol:
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: aldo_14 on March 18, 2006, 02:56:05 pm
Quote
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

So they have had previous experiences with this? :lol:

Yup.  Ever heard of John Wayne Bobbit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorena_Bobbit)?
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: ToecrusherHammerjaw on March 18, 2006, 03:26:11 pm
 :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: No words for this...
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: achtung on March 18, 2006, 06:02:27 pm
Wow.... :wtf:

of course I was thinking more of this situation before I read he had cut it off.
http://waittillpenor.ytmnd.com/
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Wild Fragaria on March 18, 2006, 07:06:49 pm
hmmm, very strange.  I think it will be funnier if they re-attach the organ 'up side down'  That will seriously teach him a lesson :D
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Nuclear1 on March 18, 2006, 07:41:31 pm
Did they really have to get him with a Taser?

I mean, come on, the man just cut his mother****ing wang off.
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Flipside on March 18, 2006, 07:55:52 pm
Anyone that insane probably needed to be tazered ;)
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Carl on March 18, 2006, 09:17:25 pm
Quote

He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland

And he thought that cutting off his penis wouldn't create another?
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: GodisanAtheist on March 19, 2006, 04:00:50 am
I like how they pointed out that his hurling knives from 20-30 feet away was somehow not threatening [or at least worth shooting him over], cause if he was black they would've shot him for holding a marker they thought was a knife but turned out to be his penis.

*Racist cop comment of the day*
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: aldo_14 on March 19, 2006, 06:48:56 am
Quote

He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland

And he thought that cutting off his penis wouldn't create another?

Maybe he wanted to send his girlfriend in Poland a reminder of him.
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Flipside on March 19, 2006, 12:04:09 pm
Even Van Goch wasn't that crazy ;)
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Fragrag on March 19, 2006, 12:58:32 pm
Quote
After his reattachment surgery, Bobbitt briefly became a porn star

 :wtf:
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: karajorma on March 19, 2006, 01:46:14 pm
Yep. The first video was apparently called John Wayne Bobbitt : Uncut :lol:

Seriously. It was. No joke.
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: aldo_14 on March 19, 2006, 04:32:23 pm
Quote
After his reattachment surgery, Bobbitt briefly became a porn star

 :wtf:

He could probably have telecommuted with UPS if he didn't have the attachment surgery.  Tsh, some people, eh?
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: Gortef on March 20, 2006, 04:03:44 am
A smiley says more than a thousand words

 :wtf:
Title: Re: I think jail was the better option......
Post by: IPAndrews on March 20, 2006, 04:07:18 am
Just your standard nutcase.