Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Thorn on October 28, 2001, 06:47:00 pm
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Rules of the Air
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
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nobody knows i'm strange...
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ROFLMFAO!!!
Anyone ever play Jane's WWII fighters? Therre's some really good advice up there (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
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Originally posted by Thorn:
Rules of the Air
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
Excepted if you're in an helicopter of course (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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Originally posted by venom2506:
Excepted if you're in an helicopter of course (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
Originally posted by Thorn:
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
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great humor, great rules.... start teaching them in flight-school (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/smile.gif)
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Air Force "Squawks"
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) All those are very funny but completely true (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
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The universe is a big place and an even bigger mystery
Webmaster SubSpace Zero ("http://www.subspacezero.com")
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)!!
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
THAT was funny. Oh, man, I'll probably stop giggling in about five minutes or so. (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
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Are you kidding? I'm still giggling about them (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/smile.gif)
Kinda embarressing when I'm in public though... (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/spineyes.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)!!!
My family is looking at me funny, wondering I'm cracking up at the computer screen... (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/tongue.gif)
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif) (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/lol.gif)
Hahaha.......there's one thing I must say though.
Gravity is over rated. (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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GTD Excellence ("http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/excellence") Webmaster
< [b][email protected][/b] >
"Be flakked or be square!"
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*tries to stop laughing long enough to type something*
*fails miserably*
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America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.
"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar ("http://michael.randelman.com"), the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif) LOL (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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I think we got a winner for the Thread With The Most Laughter In The First Few Posts.
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GTD Excellence ("http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/excellence") Webmaster
< [b][email protected][/b] >
"Be flakked or be square!"
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Originally posted by NeoHunter:
I think we got a winner for the Thread With The Most Laughter In The First Few Posts.
Bah, I'm the winner of the thread with the most (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/eek.gif) smileys (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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Originally posted by venom2506:
Bah, I'm the winner of the thread with the most (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/eek.gif) smileys (http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
[Tom Cruise's Voice]Show me the proof! Show me the proof![/Tom Cruise's Voice]
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GTD Excellence ("http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/excellence") Webmaster
< [b][email protected][/b] >
"Be flakked or be square!"
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http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/Forum13/HTML/000898.html ("http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/Forum13/HTML/000898.html")
(http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~freespace/ubb/noncgi/biggrin.gif)
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Funny, but I have heard each one 7 times over, since I am a pilot.