Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on May 18, 2006, 04:47:11 am

Title: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: aldo_14 on May 18, 2006, 04:47:11 am
http://www.newscientist.com/blog/invention/2006/05/human-cannonballs_15.html

Quote
The old circus trick of firing a person from a cannon is being considered by the US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) as a way to get special forces, police officers and fire fighters onto the roofs of tall buildings in a hurry.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Mefustae on May 18, 2006, 04:54:30 am
So... uh... how do you stop?!
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: aldo_14 on May 18, 2006, 04:58:56 am
So... uh... how do you stop?!

You land on the soft pile of corpses preceeding you.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: karajorma on May 18, 2006, 05:02:14 am
DARPA really have more money than they know what do with, don't they? :D
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Grug on May 18, 2006, 05:10:14 am
:lol:

Right...
Why not invest in the new flushable semi-disposable nappies instead?
Far more usefull.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: karajorma on May 18, 2006, 05:17:29 am
I will be very disapointed if they don't put this technology in a talking black sports car :D
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: TrashMan on May 18, 2006, 05:28:33 am
Amazing....simply amazing.... :lol:
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Gortef on May 18, 2006, 07:09:15 am
Hahaha, I don't habeeb it :lol:
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 18, 2006, 09:01:03 am
This is great! :lol: :lol: I can see it all now...

Must be a fire down the street.
-What? There's no smoke.
eeeEeeeeeyyyYYYYAAAAHHHH--SPLAT
I'm not cleaning that up.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Flipside on May 18, 2006, 01:20:40 pm
They're going to change all the badges into flower shaped water-squirters too, to help with putting out the fire ;)
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: ilya on May 18, 2006, 03:38:33 pm
What if they miss?
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Rictor on May 18, 2006, 04:35:41 pm
DARPA is basically like a real version of the "When I get rich, I'm going to make a flying bike that shoots laser beams" game we all played when we six years old. Though I must say, it's by far the most creative and entertaining misappropriation of tax dollars.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 18, 2006, 04:44:22 pm
What if they miss?

Quote
eeeEeeeeeyyyYYYYAAAAHHHH--SPLAT
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Sandwich on May 18, 2006, 06:02:00 pm
So... uh... how do you stop?!

My guess is that they'd carefully calculate body mass, equipment weight, air resistance, wind factor, and adjust the cannon to shot the person out with just the right angle and power (Scorched Earth, anybody?) that they will just have barely passed the apex of their parabolic flight path when they encounter the roof.

Unfortunately, they'll probably forget to take into account the 3 Krispy Kreme's just consumed by PFC Johnson...
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Janos on May 18, 2006, 06:19:43 pm
DARPA is basically like a real version of the "When I get rich, I'm going to make a flying bike that shoots laser beams" game we all played when we six years old. Though I must say, it's by far the most creative and entertaining misappropriation of tax dollars.

I wonder what their meetings are like.
"Dude, how about genetically engineered ants?"
"ohhhh man that is SO cool"
"ok ok ok scratch that how about an invincible spaceship?"
"dude how are you going to build one"
"I don't know, military?"
"**** YEAH"
"Pass the joint already"
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Rictor on May 18, 2006, 07:53:13 pm
Yeah, probably, except with more....quadratic equations and whatnot. I don't remember the details, but I've read about some crazy concepts from them. Robot killer ants probably aren't that far off the mark. The way I imagine the inner workings of DARPA, it's like Dexter's Lab with more funding.

Though they should get some credit for , y'know, inventing the Internet.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Herra Tohtori on May 18, 2006, 08:53:10 pm
To Infinity - And Beyond!

(http://www.filmfashion.nl/stills/toystory2.jpg)

 ;)
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: aldo_14 on May 19, 2006, 02:44:53 am
Yeah, probably, except with more....quadratic equations and whatnot. I don't remember the details, but I've read about some crazy concepts from them. Robot killer ants probably aren't that far off the mark. The way I imagine the inner workings of DARPA, it's like Dexter's Lab with more funding.

Well, now you mention it..... (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4808342.stm)
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Sandwich on May 19, 2006, 06:09:26 am
....Americans are weird.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: karajorma on May 19, 2006, 06:21:10 am
Speaking of trained animals did the US ever recover their killer dolphins that were set free by Katrina or are they still swimming about looking for divers to attack?
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: ilya on May 19, 2006, 03:01:01 pm
You mean the Katraina that was caused by the secret Soviet/Iraqi/Iranian weather controlling device?
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: karajorma on May 19, 2006, 03:20:28 pm
You seem to be under the impression that I'm making this **** up (http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html) :p
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: ilya on May 19, 2006, 03:33:32 pm
Quote
Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Yes, because terrorist and spies live underwater. :doubt:





And I heard about this too, karajorma, I was refering to the rumor that Katrina was caused by an artificial force.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Rictor on May 19, 2006, 04:08:54 pm
Oh it was (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,39861.0.html). Though I don't know if I would call it "artificial".
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: achtung on May 19, 2006, 04:25:26 pm
You mean the Katraina that was caused by the secret Soviet/Iraqi/Iranian weather controlling device?

No, you see, Clinton left his weather controlling machine behind when Bush took office.  Bush found it some time last year, and started to tinker with it like a 3 year old and a tonka truck.  Clinton finally realised why all the hurricanes kept coming about and taught Bush how to use it.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: TrashMan on May 19, 2006, 06:42:34 pm
Quote
WWII: Attach a bomb to a cat and drop it from a dive-bomber on to Nazi ships. The cat, hating water, will "wrangle" itself on to enemy ship's deck. In tests cats became unconscious in mid-air

WWII: Attach incendiaries to bats. Induce hibernation and drop them from planes. They wake up, fly into factories etc and blow up. Failed to wake from hibernation and fell to death

Vietnam War: Dolphins trained to tear off diving gear of Vietcong divers and drag them to interrogation, sources linked to the programme say. Syringes later placed on dolphin flippers to inject carbon dioxide into divers, who explode. US Navy has always denied using mammals to harm humans


Dear Lord!.... :eek2:
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: aldo_14 on May 19, 2006, 06:46:02 pm
No mention of the pigeon guided missiles, though.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: ilya on May 19, 2006, 07:35:48 pm
No mention of the pigeon guided missiles, though.

(http://www.dragonid.com/ilya/Pigeon%20copy.jpg)
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: TrashMan on May 20, 2006, 04:25:18 pm
RELEASE TEH SUPER SHEEP!!!!!
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 20, 2006, 05:09:19 pm
RELEASE THE SHARKS WITH THE FRIGGIN LASERS ATTACHED TO THEIR FRIGGIN HEADS!!!!!

Fixed.
Title: Re: Do-do-do-de-la-do-do-do-TEN HUT!
Post by: TrashMan on May 20, 2006, 05:31:18 pm
"But Sir..I tried to tell you... we don't have sharks..."
"What do you mean we don't have sharks?"
"Well..they are endangered and har to get."
"What do we have instead?"
"Mutated mackarels..."