Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 05:28:00 am

Title: Man marries goat
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 05:28:00 am
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm

Quote
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.  The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.  They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.  "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.  "When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up"  Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.  "They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Grug on September 08, 2006, 05:31:13 am
:lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2006, 06:06:31 am
Yeah I heard about this one when it happened :)

I wonder if they're expecting any kids yet :D
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Fineus on September 08, 2006, 06:18:17 am
Therefore the cost of beastiality is $50?

That's cheaper than most whores!
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2006, 06:43:43 am
And you don't have to worry about them nicking your wallet either.


Might eat your clothes though.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:25:59 am
Therefore the cost of beastiality is $50?

That's cheaper than most whores!

 :blah:

Firstly - how would you know?

Secondly - you know some expensive whores. ****, go to Middlesbrough and you can get a 15yo Russian girl to suck your cock for £5.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 08:32:36 am
And here I was thinking the thread couldn't sink any lower after beastiality came up.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Night Hammer on September 08, 2006, 08:33:15 am
:lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:33:41 am
How are underage prostitues lower than ****ing a goat?
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 08:33:49 am
Secondly - you know some expensive whores. ****, go to Middlesbrough and you can get a 15yo Russian girl to suck your cock for £5.

Firstly - how would you know?
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:35:17 am
Because my sister and her boyfriend used to head up there every 2 weeks to buy £500 of heroin to sell back in Darlo.

They stopped when another dealer tried to cut her boyfriend's ear off.

That was a fun few days.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 08:38:15 am
How are underage prostitues lower than ****ing a goat?
Okay, i'll conceed; sex with a 15yo Russian Girl is slightly less questionable than sex with a goat.


Damn it, just once I want to be on a forum where I don't have to make that distinction.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:39:47 am
Try the Farmsex.com forums.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 08:40:41 am
It's back up? Thanks for the heads up.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:42:30 am
They lost the whole 'cow anal' section when it crashed though.

Without cow-anal, it's not even worth lurking.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 08:48:59 am
They lost the whole 'cow anal' section when it crashed though.

Without cow-anal, it's not even worth lurking.

Ah yes, there's many a time i've heard that in Norfolk.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Colonol Dekker on September 08, 2006, 08:49:58 am
Try the Farmsex.com forums.

NO dont try the armsex.com forums................. :wtf:

Who reads in the papers today, There were three sick puppies who were gonna dig a body up and get intimate. Now this sort of thing is bang out of order and makes me sick............
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:50:17 am
They lost the whole 'cow anal' section when it crashed though.

Without cow-anal, it's not even worth lurking.

Ah yes, there's many a time i've heard that in Norfolk.

I was gonna make a snappy comment, but the image of a hot, blonde, farmer's daughter popped into my head and now I'm having trouble typing...
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 08:53:17 am
They lost the whole 'cow anal' section when it crashed though.

Without cow-anal, it's not even worth lurking.

Ah yes, there's many a time i've heard that in Norfolk.

I was gonna make a snappy comment, but the image of a hot, blonde, farmer's daughter popped into my head and now I'm having trouble typing...

Ah, yes, ole Daisy and her shiny bell.  She misses you, y'know - her coats lost its lustre.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 08:54:28 am
That's because it's not been getting enough semen splashed all over it.

Cow bukkake FTW.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 08:55:59 am
Ah, yes, ole Daisy and her shiny bell.  She misses you, y'know - her coats lost its lustre.
Good to see she has such a fine gentleman such as yourself taking care of her.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2006, 09:01:11 am
Ah, yes, ole Daisy and her shiny bell.  She misses you, y'know - her coats lost its lustre.
Good to see she has such a fine gentleman such as yourself taking care of her.

Well, I need a side income somehow, and if an honest man couldn't pimp his cow out to rural folk, then what sort of world would we live in?
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 09:03:11 am
Well, I need a side income somehow, and if an honest man couldn't pimp his cow out to rural folk, then what sort of world would we live in?
Quite true. I tip my hat to you, sir.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: BlackDove on September 08, 2006, 09:08:13 am
What a nice thread this turned into. I guess with the topic being like that, there shouldn't be any surprises.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2006, 09:09:42 am
Well, I need a side income somehow, and if an honest man couldn't pimp his cow out to rural folk, then what sort of world would we live in?

One where the next "is food safe" scandal won't be about milk.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Unknown Target on September 08, 2006, 09:14:51 am
God I missed an0n when he was gone :D
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2006, 09:20:06 am
Reload. It will be easier to hit him now he's back.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Unknown Target on September 08, 2006, 09:26:33 am
*Cocks shotgun*

Get ready boys! We got dust on the horizon! It's an0n


*forumites flee, scurrying about the various threads, locking them behind them*

Random forumite #1: an0n? Here? I thought he was dead!

Random forumite #2: No! I heard he's been hanging out over with the Warpstorm boys!

Random forumite #1: Why is he here?!

Random forumite #2: I don't know, but-- oh God, here he comes!

*watches as a giant goatse image flies in through the open door and smacks random forumite #1 in the face, plastering him against the wall*

Random forumite #2: Oh god, Jeffrey! Now I'll never get the money!


----

an0n...has returned.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Colonol Dekker on September 08, 2006, 09:33:52 am
 :nod:  :lol:


^ Elequence to a  T.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 09:40:22 am
Mwuahahahahaha....

/me starts building an 'an0n Approves (http://www.penguinbomb.com/images/an0napproves.jpg)' fortress in the rockface to the east of the forums.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2006, 11:25:35 am
Don't dig too deep, i've got a doomsday device buried over there to detonate the day I get tired of HLP.

Don't upset my plans for HLP-Doomsday, and I won't upset yours.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Flipside on September 08, 2006, 11:49:01 am
That's what I like to see, even people with Doomsday devices can reach compromises ;)
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Ford Prefect on September 08, 2006, 02:06:14 pm
Well they did warn us that people would marry animals if we said homosexuality was okay.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 08, 2006, 03:08:39 pm
They also told us science was witchcraft.

And now, through our better understanding of science and technology, no mere witch can ever hope to match our power.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: TrashMan on September 08, 2006, 04:46:45 pm
*Cocks shotgun*

Get ready boys! We got dust on the horizon! It's an0n


*forumites flee, scurrying about the various threads, locking them behind them*

Random forumite #1: an0n? Here? I thought he was dead!

Random forumite #2: No! I heard he's been hanging out over with the Warpstorm boys!

Random forumite #1: Why is he here?!

Random forumite #2: I don't know, but-- oh God, here he comes!

*watches as a giant goatse image flies in through the open door and smacks random forumite #1 in the face, plastering him against the wall*

Random forumite #2: Oh god, Jeffrey! Now I'll never get the money!


----

an0n...has returned.

Which reminds me ...When are you getting back to the HLP Movie? :D
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Getter Robo G on September 08, 2006, 07:25:03 pm
Karajorma - "I wonder if they're expecting any kids yet?"  :D

Boo!  ::)
  He he, so like how old was the goat anyway?

And who stirred an0n, the Master of "Dungeon Porn" out of his stupor? (pokes Aldo)...


Aldo - "Well, I need a side income somehow, and if an honest man couldn't pimp his cow out to rural folk, then what sort of world would we live in?"

   
Uh, one under the Tailaban I guess? (Capitolistic Cow-Pimping, FTW!)  :lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Unknown Target on September 08, 2006, 09:04:54 pm
*Cocks shotgun*

Get ready boys! We got dust on the horizon! It's an0n


*forumites flee, scurrying about the various threads, locking them behind them*

Random forumite #1: an0n? Here? I thought he was dead!

Random forumite #2: No! I heard he's been hanging out over with the Warpstorm boys!

Random forumite #1: Why is he here?!

Random forumite #2: I don't know, but-- oh God, here he comes!

*watches as a giant goatse image flies in through the open door and smacks random forumite #1 in the face, plastering him against the wall*

Random forumite #2: Oh god, Jeffrey! Now I'll never get the money!


----

an0n...has returned.

Which reminds me ...When are you getting back to the HLP Movie? :D


The nose knows!



Probably never...:nervous:. I'm too busy.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Polpolion on September 08, 2006, 09:12:54 pm
*steals the An0n approves fortresse's supply of beer, drugs, and hookers and sells at highly inflated prices
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 09, 2006, 02:07:56 am
/me calmly walks up behind sizzler, shoots him in the head, drops the gun and leaves
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Stealth on September 09, 2006, 02:48:20 am
*poof*
whats up
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: BS403 on September 09, 2006, 09:31:55 pm
:lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Scooby_Doo on September 10, 2006, 01:01:11 am
*starts humming* Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Getter Robo G on September 10, 2006, 04:09:06 am
*poof*
whats up?



- Now that's Stealthy -  :lol:

Where the heck have you been? (just lurking?)
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: WMCoolmon on September 10, 2006, 04:27:56 am
The hell? Isn't this months old?

Same with this: http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/08/mower.trapped.ap/index.html?section=cnn_us

Is the news recycling stories? :wtf:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: karajorma on September 10, 2006, 06:50:12 am
Check the date on the news story. It's old. That's why I wondered if they had kids :)
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Flipside on September 10, 2006, 02:57:31 pm
I think that's a different story WMC, the one your thinking of is where the lawnmower dragged him into a lake or somehting iirc? Anyway, it looks like the revolution has begun.....
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Polpolion on September 10, 2006, 03:40:02 pm
*thesizzler wonders who this "sizzler" is and rides off (in his everything-proof, completely self-sufficient vehicle)  thanking goodness for misspellings.


:p
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: an0n on September 10, 2006, 03:49:05 pm
/me collapses the bridge and watches 'thesizzler's completely indestructible vehicle plummet into the river and sink like a brick, becoming a huge metal casket
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Polpolion on September 10, 2006, 04:01:06 pm
*thesizzler continues driving underwater, glad he bought the "airmaker 2000" for his airtight car. He drives to the nearest place he can enter dry land, and then reapetedly runs an0n over. Then he takes an0ns body and drags it into a random vat of hot lava (no flames, though, just lava) to watch it desintegrate. Then thesizzler drives off in his car.
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Getter Robo G on September 10, 2006, 06:30:50 pm
Flipside: "I think that's a different story WMC, the one your thinking of is where the lawnmower dragged him into a lake or somehting iirc? Anyway, it looks like the revolution has begun...."

   Yeah that was the second and newer event cause you see:

  The goat (Totally sick of spousal abouse, and being treated like an animal in general) SABOTAGED the lawnmower after getting him so sign the generous life insurance policy for what ($5.00)?

  Since the Khandahar Clowns are as efficient/insightful as the Keystone Cops needless to say our girl (Boy?/ Kid! heh) got away with it and collected...

  $5.00 is a LOT of money, you can get almost 1.5 gallons of gas for that here, I bet you can buy a whole refinery there!!!


(My hat's off to you Billy Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat...) - Old Disney cartoon joke.  :lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Gortef on September 11, 2006, 04:16:42 am
He he, so like how old was the goat anyway?

Now that would be a jackpot, bestiality and pedophilia the same time...
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Colonol Dekker on September 11, 2006, 04:18:20 am
Mah,........ Why would that be a Jackpot...... :shaking:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Scooby_Doo on September 12, 2006, 01:48:44 am
The big question is.... is it a female goat?  :lol:
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Getter Robo G on September 12, 2006, 01:16:42 pm
It's a Transgender, or a Hermaphrodite...


(WTF am I doing? LET THIS DIE!!!)  :lol:

HA! [ I used the EDIT button this time!!! I did it because I needed closure! ]  :p
Title: Re: Man marries goat
Post by: Colonol Dekker on September 13, 2006, 05:27:25 am
Why did you do it GRG?

 :shaking: