Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: MP-Ryan on June 03, 2008, 07:38:44 pm
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Purportedly courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy, an American comedian. No idea if he actually wrote these are not. Regardless, they're quite funny and sadly mostly true =\
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada.
If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada.
If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada.
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada.
If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada.
If you carry jumpers in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada.
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada.
If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada.
If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada.
If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada.
If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada.
If you actually understand these jokes,
And forward them to all your Canadian friends & others,
You definitely live in Canada.
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Purportedly courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy, an American comedian. No idea if he actually wrote these are not. Regardless, they're quite funny and sadly mostly true =\
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada. - Nope.
If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada. - Nope.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada. - Nope.
If you carry jumpers in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada. - Yup. My mom can.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada. - Yup. My mom used to do that.
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada. - Yup. And it's actually "Winter... and six weeks of bad sledding in August.
If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada. - Yup.
If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada. - Yup. Pfft. That's beach weather
If you actually understand these jokes,
And forward them to all your Canadian friends & others,
You definitely live in Canada. - Yup.
Another truth - Canadians are awesome.
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Correction: stereotypical Canadians are awesome.
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:wtf: You're high. :p
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If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
Definitely beach weather... Or perfect jogging weather....
You may live in Canada.
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Yeah...I laughed and nodded that almost all of those are true. Although I've rarely had a long telephone conversation with someone who had the wrong number. But the rest...true! 90kph in a blizzard is considered slowing down...everyone else is still doing 120 on the typical 400 series highway. The other is the air conditioning/heating thing in one day (almost true)....its freezing, then it thaws over the course of a few weeks and it rains and is miserable for a while, and the high today was about 20c...but by end of the week the high is 32c and the low is 20c. WTF :)
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I don't think I qualify on any of those
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whats a dairy queen ?
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whats a dairy queen ?
Only the best place to get a chicken strip basket I've ever been to.
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whats a dairy queen ?
Only the best place to get a chicken strip basket I've ever been to.
:nod: I agree.
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"You know you're a redneck, when your gun rack has a gun rack on it."
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Yeah...I laughed and nodded that almost all of those are true. Although I've rarely had a long telephone conversation with someone who had the wrong number. But the rest...true! 90kph in a blizzard is considered slowing down...everyone else is still doing 120 on the typical 400 series highway. The other is the air conditioning/heating thing in one day (almost true)....its freezing, then it thaws over the course of a few weeks and it rains and is miserable for a while, and the high today was about 20c...but by end of the week the high is 32c and the low is 20c. WTF :)
We had a week back in April where it went from 24 C on Sunday to -2 C and snow on Monday, to -25 C on Tuesday. And by Friday it was back to 13 C.
Welcome to Alberta!
I also have to say I FINALLY saw weather conditions that made people slow down this winter. Highway 2 is 110 km/h (and everyone drives 125, minimum, in all seasons). The ice was so bad during that aforementioned week that I drove at 60 km/h to work and I was one of the fastest cars on the road.
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I don't think I qualify on any of those
Should you be in my signature?
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Yeah...I laughed and nodded that almost all of those are true. Although I've rarely had a long telephone conversation with someone who had the wrong number. But the rest...true! 90kph in a blizzard is considered slowing down...everyone else is still doing 120 on the typical 400 series highway. The other is the air conditioning/heating thing in one day (almost true)....its freezing, then it thaws over the course of a few weeks and it rains and is miserable for a while, and the high today was about 20c...but by end of the week the high is 32c and the low is 20c. WTF :)
We had a week back in April where it went from 24 C on Sunday to -2 C and snow on Monday, to -25 C on Tuesday. And by Friday it was back to 13 C.
Welcome to Alberta!
I also have to say I FINALLY saw weather conditions that made people slow down this winter. Highway 2 is 110 km/h (and everyone drives 125, minimum, in all seasons). The ice was so bad during that aforementioned week that I drove at 60 km/h to work and I was one of the fastest cars on the road.
I knew there were people like me on this site somwhere
by the way calgary is the perfect place for shorts and a parka - unless it happens to be +20 degrees Celcius in january in wich case shorts and a T-shirt are fine
So we do have summer but we are not quite sure when it is going to happen
it's been known to snow in july in Calgary
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I don't think I qualify on any of those
Are you Canadian? Is there not a Dairy Queen in your town/city? Have you never driven through a blizzard? :)
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No I'm not, no there isn't and no I'm not insane.
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Jesus Christ :jaw:
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No I'm not, no there isn't and no I'm not insane.
Oohhhkay.Yeah...I laughed and nodded that almost all of those are true. Although I've rarely had a long telephone conversation with someone who had the wrong number. But the rest...true! 90kph in a blizzard is considered slowing down...everyone else is still doing 120 on the typical 400 series highway. The other is the air conditioning/heating thing in one day (almost true)....its freezing, then it thaws over the course of a few weeks and it rains and is miserable for a while, and the high today was about 20c...but by end of the week the high is 32c and the low is 20c. WTF :)
We had a week back in April where it went from 24 C on Sunday to -2 C and snow on Monday, to -25 C on Tuesday. And by Friday it was back to 13 C.
Welcome to Alberta!
I also have to say I FINALLY saw weather conditions that made people slow down this winter. Highway 2 is 110 km/h (and everyone drives 125, minimum, in all seasons). The ice was so bad during that aforementioned week that I drove at 60 km/h to work and I was one of the fastest cars on the road.
I knew there were people like me on this site somwhere
by the way calgary is the perfect place for shorts and a parka - unless it happens to be +20 degrees Celcius in january in wich case shorts and a T-shirt are fine
So we do have summer but we are not quite sure when it is going to happen
it's been known to snow in july in Calgary
Snow in July is just far too much for even me to handle. Ontario summers are hot and humid...
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Thank God for nice warm BC
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Thank God for nice warm BC
You forgot...rainy! :)
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not everywhere