Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Enigmatic Entity on March 30, 2009, 07:38:18 am

Title: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Enigmatic Entity on March 30, 2009, 07:38:18 am
What crap jokes have you made up or seen that are just really "crap"?

Some pirate jokes:

Pirates! Aye! Pirates! Why are pirates so mean? Because they AAARRRGHH!! Get it? Pirates go AAARRRGHH!!! all the time, because...that's what...pirates do... (from FaL).

Which I made a crap one from: Why does Captain Hook have a hook on his left arm? Because he didn't make the right choice.

Also, whenever people say that my jokes are lame, I tell them that jokes don't have legs, so they can't be lame. :doubt:

The thing is, people laugh at stuff like that or react funnily because they're so crap.

Anyone else?
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Pred the Penguin on March 30, 2009, 08:56:26 am
Naw... Though I can be hurtfully sarcastic sometimes. =/
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Snail on March 30, 2009, 12:38:23 pm
The jokes in the first post of this thread are painful.
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: tinfoil on March 30, 2009, 12:41:21 pm
I personally prefer subtly insulting jokes that cause lasting psychological harm. :drevil:

No wonder I don't have many friends...
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Demitri on March 30, 2009, 01:49:22 pm
Naw... Though I can be hurtfully sarcastic sometimes. =/
I personally prefer subtly insulting jokes that cause lasting psychological harm. :drevil:
:yes:
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: BloodEagle on March 30, 2009, 03:45:18 pm
Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted.

Why did the man driving the train get struck by lightning? He was a good conductor.

What happened to the magical tractor? It turned into a field.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in mortal combat! Darth Vader pulls Luke close to him [my microphone] and says "I know what you're getting for Christmas." To which Luke responds "What!? How!? That's impossible!" Darth Vader then enlightens Luke by stating "I felt your presence."

Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors they'd be chicken sedans.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes: *Whack*, "Darn!" And the other goes: "Darn," *whack*.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it's going to take at least six episodes.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor.

What kind of pants do The Mario Brothers wear? Denim denim denim.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What did the YouTuber say when he came in fifth place in a race? "First!"

Yes, I stole all of these from that one video.
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: TrashMan on March 30, 2009, 04:17:12 pm
What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? We know how many people were riding the Titanic!

Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Enigmatic Entity on March 30, 2009, 04:54:50 pm
The jokes in the first post of this thread are painful.

Well that's the whole intention, isn't it?
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: S-99 on March 30, 2009, 06:56:40 pm
There was once a pregnant lady going to the bank to withdraw some money. While standing in line for the bank teller someone comes in to rob the bank by telling everyone to get on the floor now. She couldn't get on the floor "now" so the robber shot her twice.

Police came and subdued the robber and sent the pregnant lady to the hospital. The bullet wounds were not lethal as the robber shot at her impregnated direction. Each child was born with a bullet.

12 years later, she had a son and daughter. The daughter pee'd a bullet and was surprised and her mom told her the story of before they were born.

The son comes in crying. The mother tells him to calm down and tries to tell him the story of before he was born. He yelled at his mother about how he'd been masturbating and shot the dog.
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Retsof on March 31, 2009, 08:25:57 pm
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Herra Tohtori on March 31, 2009, 08:50:53 pm
(http://i44.tinypic.com/2hyxfg3.gif)

Is that crappy enough? :nervous:
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: BloodEagle on March 31, 2009, 08:58:42 pm
There was once a pregnant lady going to the bank to withdraw some money. While standing in line for the bank teller someone comes in to rob the bank by telling everyone to get on the floor now. She couldn't get on the floor "now" so the robber shot her twice.

Police came and subdued the robber and sent the pregnant lady to the hospital. The bullet wounds were not lethal as the robber shot at her impregnated direction. Each child was born with a bullet.

12 years later, she had a son and daughter. The daughter pee'd a bullet and was surprised and her mom told her the story of before they were born.

The son comes in crying. The mother tells him to calm down and tries to tell him the story of before he was born. He yelled at his mother about how he'd been masturbating and shot the dog.

The real kicker? He's a furry.
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: Retsof on March 31, 2009, 10:20:01 pm
(http://i44.tinypic.com/2hyxfg3.gif)

Is that crappy enough? :nervous:
:lol: That is so crappy that it's amazing!
Title: Re: Your CRAP jokes...
Post by: S-99 on April 01, 2009, 04:09:28 am
The real kicker? He's a furry.
I'll fur you up for that.