Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: High Max on May 08, 2009, 01:37:32 pm
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I know a lot about it but have you ever heard of Aspergers syndrome? It isn't autism but I guess you can say I have that. They say it is a form of super high functioning autism and these days they call it a condition, not a disability, but part of the same family. But my Aspergers is pretty much so high functioning these days that most people see me as normal since I have the choice to act what you call normal when I want to, on top of extra abilities and the ability to notice things easily. One could say it has made me superior than most when it comes to over all intelligence, tolerance of pain, and mental control (strength in the mind). I believe in balance so I am quite well off in every physical way too since I know how to achieve that.
These days I would never want to go back and never have it. I'm happy I have it. It has made me the person I am and if I didn't have it, I wouldn't be who I am today and maybe never have met certain people in the past, like my past Japanese love.
In the world, many people see others who may be superior with enabilities, but these people get insecure and jealous and call it a disability. I like to think of it as better than normal and some people are better than normal. But when people get scared, they are mean to people who they view as superior in order to make themselves feel superior, like what a bully does. No doubt many are disabled, but I can't be compared to that since I am beyond that these days. Maybe as a child you could have called me that. But unlike many (what you call) disabled people, I actually grow and adapt even beyond normal limits. That is not disabled. That is beyond normal in a good way. For example, unlike most people, I adapt and change my habits in favor of better more efficient healthier methods and ways of doing things to improve instead of staying stuck on one way. So you can't call me disabled. I'm not just saying that. It is the truth. Call it a good condition (gift) if you want. That is a more accurate description these days for me. Also a condition that lets me see the light.
I was just saying that if someone was autistic, they normally don't have the ability to socialize very well like I do. Even most Aspergers people don't to my degree and may not be able to communicate as well as I do or may not have as much common sense in life or ability to be independent. I'm beyond that these days. I got upset because some of you were basically calling me disabled when you don't know my potential nor have met me. Of course I'm not going to easily admit to a bunch of people on the net what I have or if I have anything, and by putting down autism, I did a damn good job at hiding the fact that I have a condition, which used to be a disability for me when I was young but as I got older, I pretty much have many of the strengths while minimizing the weaknesses and I'm not limited like most. Also, "normal" is a perception. Social norms also vary from culture to culture or individual to individual. I be my own person.
One reason I didn't want to say anything is because I know if you did, you all would underestimate me and be easy on me, and I don't want that. I assure you that if I appear to sometimes have bad social skills, it isn't that I don't know how to socialize; it is because I don't care a lot of the time and I don't want to fit in with people I don't agree with. Also, I appear the way I do because of bad experiences and knowing how people are. It has made me wiser.
If people want to say something about me, they should tell me and not go behind my back and base a topic on me. One could say that is bad social skills or cowardice and not polite. So people shouldn't complain about me when pretty much everyone else on the board is guilty of some "impolite comment or action". Actually, some people have been much meaner than me on the board, and I'm sorry to name names, but Anon is an example.
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I'll bet $50 no real doctor has diagnosed you with Asperger's. You are not qualified to self-diagnose.
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Some bits of dubious relevance removed.
I know a lot about it but have you ever heard of Aspergers syndrome? It isn't autism but I guess you can say I have that. They say it is a form of super high functioning autism and these days they call it a condition, not a disability, but part of the same family. But my Aspergers is pretty much so high functioning these days that most people see me as normal since I have the choice to act what you call normal when I want to, on top of extra abilities and the ability to notice things easily. One could say it has made me superior than most when it comes to over all intelligence, tolerance of pain, and mental control (strength in the mind). I believe in balance so I am quite well off in every physical way too since I know how to achieve that.
I'm not going to comment on the truth or falsity of whether you actually have this. That's unassessible with my knowledge.
However I wouldn't say you're normal here. Normalcy is relative to sample group. Compared to this group, you are decidely abnormal. Compared to the people I encounter in daily life, you are decidely abnormal. Your beliefs and opinions are backward at best, with occasional shading over into outright bigotry. You tend to ramble on at length and dubious relevance in your posts to a degree currently unmatched in the discourse of HLP.
Yet I am starkly reminded of my own thoughts back when I was more than slightly screwed up. You haven't manifested what I did and on occasion still do, but your self-congradulatory list is eerily familar from before I matured enough to understand the danger the mode of thought I congradulated myself for being able to enter.
In the world, many people see others who may be superior with enabilities, but these people get insecure and jealous and call it a disability. I like to think of it as better than normal and some people are better than normal. But when people get scared, they are mean to people who they view as superior in order to make themselves feel superior, like what a bully does. No doubt many are disabled, but I can't be compared to that since I am beyond that these days. Maybe as a child you could have called me that. But unlike many (what you call) disabled people, I actually grow and adapt even beyond normal limits. That is not disabled. That is beyond normal in a good way. For example, unlike most people, I adapt and change my habits in favor of better more efficient healthier methods and ways of doing things to improve instead of staying stuck on one way. So you can't call me disabled. I'm not just saying that. It is the truth. Call it a good condition (gift) if you want. That is a more accurate description these days for me. Also a condition that lets me see the light.
I'm curious as to who this passage is written for. This is a question I often find myself asking others in conversation: "Who are you trying to convince here? Me or yourself?" And in this case, I think the answer is obvious: you're trying to convince yourself and not me.
I was just saying that if someone was autistic, they normally don't have the ability to socialize very well like I do. Even Aspergers people don't to my degree and may not be able to communicate as well as me or may not have as much common sense in life or ability to be independent. I'm beyond that these days. I got upset because some of you were basically calling be disabled when you don't know my potential nor have meet me. Of course I'm not going to easily admit to a bunch of people on the net what I have or if I have anything, and by putting down autism, I did a damn good job at hiding the fact that I have a condition, which used to be a disability for me when I was young but as I got older, I pretty much have many of the strengths while minimizing the weaknesses and I'm not limited like most. Also, "normal" is a perception. Social norms also vary from culture to culture or individual to individual. I be my own person.
No, you weren't just saying that, at least to us. But anyways, I hate to say it: you don't have the ability to socialize very well. Or well. You don't communicate well either, as you appear constitutionally unable to produce a clear, concise, relevant post. I could further speculate as to your level of common sense and independence, but frankly that would be descending to the level of parody of your beliefs...which while worthy of parody should not be used in such a directly personal attack.
No, you didn't hide it well at all. We suspected before now (it was mentioned recently in a thread after several of your comments), but more to the point, we did not care. And we do not care now.
One reason I didn't want to say anything is because I know if you did, you all would underestimate me and be easy on me, and I don't want that. I assure you that if I appear to sometimes have bad social skills, it isn't that I don't know how to socialize; it is because I don't care a lot of the time and I don't want to fit in with people I don't agree with. Also, I appear the way I do because of bad experiences and knowing how people are. It has made me wiser.
Not hardly. I offer no quarter and ask none. The existence of your condition is irrevelant to me in assessing you as you appear here. You are also once again apparently trying to convince somebody other than us that you have this thing under control, here. If you cared to convince us you would be trying to post more relevantly, instead of wandering as you just have, or offering some kind of examples instead of bald assertion contradicted by facts.
If people want to say something about me, they should tell me and not go behind my back and base a topic on me. One could say that is bad social skills or cowardice and not polite. So people shouldn't complain about me when pretty much everyone else on the board is guilty of some "impolite comment or action". Actually, some people have been much meaner than me on the board, and I'm sorry to name names, but Anon is an example.
Whatnow? I suppose you have some sort of topic in mind, yet frankly all that has been said about you that I can detect has been said to your face, or at least somewhere you're almost certain to see it said. I can't speak for the IRC channel, of course.
However! Complaining about you is perfectly within their rights. They have an opinion and it would be worse not to state it. Furthermore, if you do not wish to be called on your misbehavior, I would recommend not misbehaving in a public forum. As I sometimes end up explaining to recalcitrant types on other sites, if you do not wish to be publicly critiqued, don't publically post.
Also, Anon's like that. Which isn't an excuse, but you ought to know by now he's basically like the anti-christ of HLP.
EDIT: Wait, what? Did you think my signature was about you? I'm tempted to start singing a particular song many people here can probably guess...
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What on Earth is going on here?
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What on Earth is going on here?
life
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That's purely subjective, believe me.
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That's purely subjective, believe me.
life is subjective
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In order for life to be subjective, however, one has to have one ;)
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[Memento]I have this condition...[/Memento]
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"TRUE! - Nervous - Very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses - Not destroyed - Not dulled them."
:nervous:
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I have Aspergers Syndrome. Nice to finally know someone that understands.
The way I understand it, I function somewhere above the median for people with it. My psychologist says that the ADD inhibits me a little.
It's great because I am really creative and have a really vivid imagination. Especially for music- I don't just see pictures. I can actually get stories from just about any music I hear. That makes long car rides easier.
But the problem is, as you know, I have trouble holding on to an idea long enough before I improve it. And then it's different, so I work on that. Then I improve it again, and the process repeats, until I realize I haven't actually done anything and give up. Ah well.
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I'm really tempted to lock the thread, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of the cause of it so I don't jump to conclusions, is this some kind of ongoing thing that I've missed whilst I've been revising or something? First we had Kosh and his thread, and now this.
If there's some kind of discrimination going on here? I'd like to know so it can be dealt with, if, however, this is just a random post that is going to devolve into an argument, I'd rather it were locked before that happens.
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Hard Light Productions > Off-Topic Discussion > My Blog > Maybe I have what you call a condition, but these days, I wouldn't think so...
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I believe High Max is responding to Kosh's thread, yes. I don't think there was any other discrimination. That was the 'thread centered around him' in question.
Other than that, High Max, we accept you as you are. I think people are likely to respond to you negatively just because they consider you outspoken and incoherent, not because they consider you weak or inferior.
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If there's some kind of discrimination going on here? I'd like to know so it can be dealt with, if, however, this is just a random post that is going to devolve into an argument, I'd rather it were locked before that happens.
He does seem to think so, but I can't detect it actually happening and he's not clearly communicating its existence. I can't honestly figure out the purpose of the post, which is arguably a minor improvement from some of them. (As I noted, High Max has a tendancy to get misogynistic without warning.)
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Max, I don't know if you're upset, but i'll just say, I didn't notice anything.
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I'm really tempted to lock the thread, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of the cause of it so I don't jump to conclusions, is this some kind of ongoing thing that I've missed whilst I've been revising or something? First we had Kosh and his thread, and now this.
If there's some kind of discrimination going on here? I'd like to know so it can be dealt with, if, however, this is just a random post that is going to devolve into an argument, I'd rather it were locked before that happens.
I didn't want to make the topic, but today, I read a locked topic created by Kosh based on a quote I made about autism in the Hitler thread and then people thinking I didn't know anything about it. I sent him a pm and then decided to make a topic on it with the first half being the pm from him. Maybe I should delete this entire topic or someone should. I was too open and I should have not admitted it, but I didn't want others to think I was idiotic about the condition.
Another thing is I'm happy with the condition and I was diagnosed and I'm happy not to fit in with most others and these day, I don't want to be close to anyone because I'm tired of people and them being deceitful. My condition also makes it easier to handle loneliness that I choose to go through to avoid more pain or those who I consider immoral or don't want to fit in with. So I feel like moving to another country sometimes with a culture I like more because their way of thinking makes me happier and I would like to hang out with those people.
And yes, I'm upset at the world and how it is and in many ways how it is becoming. Of course I was not upset in the post I made.
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Hey High Max, my mental issues are a bigger deal than your mental issues.
(PS: I don't give a **** what "condition" you have. You're still a bigoted asshole.)
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Well, the whole matter should have been dealt with via the 'report post' function anyway, I knew that thread was going to cause problems.
Just try to bear in mind that any level of debate will be tolerated, but not insults, and that, just as you are sensitive about certain aspects of your life, other people are also sensitive about aspects of theirs, almost every condition such as Autism, Aspergers etc work across a vast spectrum of levels, it's best not to try and fit anyone into a slot ;)
Which reminds me, IamZack, please don't make matters worse, I know you don't like him, he knows you don't like him, I don't think it needs to be constantly re-iterated.
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Uh, no, High Max, YOU don't like freedom.
See, I'm not going "there should be a law against thinking this way." I'm expressing MY opinion right back at you.
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I guess you don't like freedom. I also think there should be more rules.
:wtf:
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I'd just like to add that I think Aspergers isn't a real medical condition, and is just one of those bull**** 'illnesses' that soccer moms made up to justify why their kid is an asshole all the time.
And even if it was real - which is quite clearly isn't - it's an explanation, not an excuse.
If you have Assburgers and act like a ****, you're still acting like a ****.
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An0n, you have a nasty habit of trolling and having a point at exactly the same time...
I'll agree the world has 'Syndrome Syndrome' at the moment, certainly, but I think there's more to Aspergers than simply 'bull****', methinks you've been reading up on certain American politicians and their comments regarding Autism ;)
As for the whole 'you act like what you act like', this, I have to agree with, there can be mitigating circumstances, but certainly no excuse.
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While not put in the most tactful way, there are quite a few researchers who do agree that it's not a disorder so much as simply a different personality type.
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I think he's trying to pull a Mike Savage to be honest.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2008/07/21/2008-07-21_radio_host_michael_savage_incites_protes.html
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If you have Assburgers and act like a ****, you're still acting like a ****.
In other words, you feel if the condition exists, those people are close enough to normal and smart enough to take responsibility for the way the act and talk, and they can control how they talk, and I agree with you, if that is the way you intended your post to be taken. You are right.
No, I'm saying that they could have severe autism and if they punched me in the face, I'd still kick their heads in.
'Personality disorders' do not excuse your actions.
Even if someone's completely monged, they're still responsible for their actions - except in cases such as Tourettes, where their physical actions are largely independent from their personalities and cognitive processes.
An0n, you have a nasty habit of trolling and having a point at exactly the same time...
I'll agree the world has 'Syndrome Syndrome' at the moment, certainly, but I think there's more to Aspergers than simply 'bull****', methinks you've been reading up on certain American politicians and their comments regarding Autism ;)
As for the whole 'you act like what you act like', this, I have to agree with, there can be mitigating circumstances, but certainly no excuse.
How do you think I manage to last more than a day without being banned?
To paraphrase Yuppygoat:
"an0n's usually right in the most wrong way he can find."
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@iamzack or iamjack or whatever: Then please stop whining about my acting like a bigot. I'd rather not waste my time on you. You started it this time. Like Flipside said, let it go. I'm not responding to any other comeback you have.
I did sort of warn you this sort of thing would happen. If you don't want the public ridicule, get off the public forum. Granted, Zack is a troll, and a delightfully inept one at that (it lacks the sheer unmitigated offensiveness of an0n when he tries, for example, and there's no subtlety to it either), but still. The issue's there.
@NGTM-1R: I used to lack confidence thanks to being made fun of a lot in high school and knowing I had a condition and other things, and always told myself I was cursed and not good enough for anyone. But then as I got older and smarter and improved myself, I realized it was not a curse but a gift. So I now sometimes appear to have too much confidence and if people don't like me, I just think to myself that I'm too good for them and I keep my confidence in myself up and I think and say that they may be luckier than me when it comes to having a love, kids, a big family, and lots of friends, and not many bad experiences, but at least I have more intelligence overall, strength in body and mind overall, and health than they do.
Dead ringer. Something like this tended to drift through my mind during high school, mainly because no one in their right mind at the point in time would mess with me after I came very close to killing someone in middle school. It wasn't until junior year I realized it was probably bull**** (probably not coincidental my grades and social interactions improved around then) and until senior year I outright realized that being able to become a sociopath as though a switch is flipped is Not A Good Thing.
While that's not the issue you have, you have reacted the same way and rationalized you've made strength out of weakness. I hate to break it to you, but from where I'm sitting there's no evidence of that. You've compounded the problem by having the bad grace to assume it's made you better than others out loud, which I didn't do. I did, on occasion, show some scorn for others...but they were others like me. When there was the school shooting in this area, I observed aloud that this kid had it no worse then I did, and I'm hardly bat**** insane enough to go shoot up the building (that caused some interesting reactions). But I was never so self-absorbedly blind as to assume it made me better than everyone.
Confidence is vital to improve one's self, as well as motivation, effort, and commitment. Those are the 4 things I came up with when it coes to improving one's self. Sometimes I think that if people have too many people in their life, it makes them too weak to handle loneliness or do things on their own (which is probably true in most cases), and they are taking a big chance of getting hurt if they open their heart too much and are too trusting and naive.
Samuel Eliot Morison once observed "One learns more from defeat then from victory." As long as you think this is making you win, you're not learning from it. That you aren't learning from it is evidenced by your wandering, rambling posting style. We are social animals. No human is meant to be alone. We aren't equipped for it.
However, I do have a humble side. For example, I don't like to be the center of attention, especially on birthdays, and I will admit that I always have things to learn in life and I do not know it all. I also don't like to speak in front of crowds in person or do speeches in person. I'm shy and scared when it comes to that. I also don't want to be a leader or be popular. That is my humble side.
Also, even if my social skills are not perfect, the more intelligence someone has, the less they need other people's help and therefore social skills aren't as necessary when it comes to survival. I just try to do as much as I can without help, even if offered help. I want to learn and get more experience is why.
There is no way better to convince people you are not humble then to claim that you are. While amusingly I too find birthdays something a waste (at least online; one of my goals one year was to ensure nobody I didn't know personally knew I was having a birthday, but Mobius ruined it :P), that doesn't prove you're humble. It proves you're not confidant being the center of attention. Much the same can be said about your aversion to leadership, popularity, and public speaking. Calling that humble is bull****, that's pure being frightened. You're trying to paint yourself as confident and refuting yourself at the same time.
No man is an island. No man ever will be. You will always need your social skills, and you in particular will need to improve them. (Also your communication skills, rather seriously. Way off the point again.)
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an0n, I would tend to agree, because there probably is a significant level of premature diagnosis of ASDs. But there's also a huge overlap of near savant like abilities within the diagnosed, so there must be _some_ sort of condition at play. But as has been said by researchers, not all autistics are savants, and not all savants are autistics.
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No matter how hard I dry, I still walk into every desk i see in school. It's a self esteem nightmare to just go sharpen my pencil.
And Chief, we prefer 'Gods' to 'Savants', thank you.
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While not put in the most tactful way, there are quite a few researchers who do agree that it's not a disorder so much as simply a different personality type.
Actually it's not. There are some major differences.
Thank you. It is good to be a bigot to people you don't agree with and stand up for what you believe in. After all, western culture is about giving people freedom to be a bigot and express opinions. So too bad for you. I guess you don't like freedom. I also think there should be more rules.
Western culture is about letting people expressing their views in a reasonable, civilized way.
You do have serious communication and perception problems, you have much to learn.
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This has gone far enough, even by my standards. Lock plz
This is just going to turn into a flamewar
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Everyone has much to learn, even you. I just got done saying that I don't care to fit in. I fit in with who I want to fit in with and fitting in with people I never met makes it invalid and desperate anyways. I'm not going to fake agreeing with others and talking emotional just to act what you all call more normal. Or must I be polite to be what you call more normal or do what others do, even if I feel it to be bad? If that is the case, I don't want to be normal and ordinary since that would give me less value anways and make me more like a drone and not my own person. Also, I act more polite and different on the job since one has to and I can show much better social skills, but on a forum or at home, it's not so important and many people on the forum don't anyways in one way of another and I show less restraint or care of how people think of me unless they know me personally. In the real world, I act more normal, as you call it, since it is more important what people who you are around in person think in public places, who know you, and stuff. But I don't have to prove anything. Talk is cheap and can be interpreted as babbling. So I should stop for now before I am interpreted once again as having comm problems. Some of the time, I am just being sarcastic with my responses but people can also take that as a problem with my communication and my actually meaning what I say and misreading people.
WHY DO YOU POST LIKE THIS.
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Enough, this boards getting too bloody Dramatic.
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id monkey zack and reopen the thread, but thats just me.
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I thought about that to be honest, but this is one of those conversations that is a powder-keg anyway, it will explode sooner or later, and whilst it might be amusing to watch, probably better to pour water on it now ;)