Hard Light Productions Forums

General FreeSpace => FreeSpace Discussion => Topic started by: azile0 on October 13, 2009, 12:40:06 am

Title: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: azile0 on October 13, 2009, 12:40:06 am: I demand to know the genious behind THIS:

"When the malware came for us we scanned. Never had we been defeated. They were like the others; strange, hideous, resisting... only these were not like the others... They were not quarantined or deleted. We made our first retreat, we could forego one hard drive. But they followed, they infected our registry. They followed when we restored, discovered our passwords.

For a long time we did not know why they infected us. They were no ordinary spyware. They did not seek our passwords, our money, our data...

Now we know our crime was porn.

And we retreated to our system32 folder, abandoned our slave drives. we believed that offline, we would be safe, for they are not a terrestrial species... we know when we entered the web we were trespassers, but our operating system is our home. And yet still they came... and our C drive is gone.

There are a few of us left... we know we will soon be gone. And so we can see our fate as others will see it. There will be little legacy, no great expressions of what we once were. Our models, our maps, if ever they are seen again, will spawn none of the awe that filled HLP. We know our fate, we are being deleted. When we traveled the internet the malware took note. When we talked and uploaded in forums where we had no bandwidth, the destruction, and the anguish, and the loss were the clarion call of our doom. And so the malware came for us.

There is little left for us, little time, but much irony. We did discover they are not invulnerable. They malware that darkened our hard drives like a plague can be deleted... but we have no way to deliver the hurt. We have the knowledge, but not the means, and so this is our legacy:

in safemode they cannot use their shields, and in safemode, we can use our command prompt"

BRING HIM TO ME. He wins both the internet AND an internet high-five.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: ssmit132 on October 13, 2009, 01:36:04 am: I believe what you seek is here (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=58438.0).
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: azile0 on October 13, 2009, 01:19:00 pm: Because I found it on Discovery Freelancer's Flood Forum (http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=49830) and seeing as they credited it to here, I had to return and shower Hellstryker with LOLs.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: terran_emperor on October 14, 2009, 12:38:17 pm: Yeah you have me and hellstryker to thank for those lovely gems...But mainly hellstryker. He inspired me to type my ones
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: deathfun on October 15, 2009, 11:27:45 pm: This is hilarious actually
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 15, 2009, 11:50:51 pm: You forgot the original malware Shivans.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v307/ngtm1r/redx.gif)
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: stuart133 on October 16, 2009, 01:51:56 pm: This should be put in the FreeSpace jokes thread and actually add some humour to that abomination. :D
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: jkalltheway on October 16, 2009, 02:13:38 pm: and on the seventh day, the internet said, LET THERE BE FUNNY
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Thaeris on October 19, 2009, 09:46:46 pm: Then, on the eighth day, 4chan cited Rule 34... and raped the internets... and funny. :sigh:
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Stormkeeper on October 19, 2009, 11:34:38 pm: Seems like Hellstryker's little parody might earn us some new members.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: BengalTiger on October 23, 2009, 09:45:49 am: While he himself doesn't visit HLP anymore.

Ironic, isn't it...?
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Stormkeeper on October 23, 2009, 10:31:05 am: Quite ... But that's kinda how our members are. They leave, and come back after a while.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: General Battuta on October 23, 2009, 08:49:22 pm: I dunno, it's kind of in the same vein as the Void of Spam thread. Not all that funny.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Stormkeeper on October 25, 2009, 11:20:26 pm: Humor is relative is all I can say.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on October 27, 2009, 09:33:29 am: Your personal message certainly doesn't qualify as humour. :p
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: General Battuta on October 27, 2009, 09:37:55 am: Whose?
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Snail on October 27, 2009, 09:38:55 am: This is dumb.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Killer Whale on October 28, 2009, 07:22:20 am: That was super awesome, loved it.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: IronForge on October 28, 2009, 06:38:49 pm: ATTENTION: YOUR COMPUTER IS INFECTED!!! 53 VIRUSES DETECTED!!! CLICK HERE FOR *FREE* SCAN!!!

SCAN COMPLETE
Your computer is infected by 530 viruses!!! CLICK HERE TO BUY SATHNOVA++ for a mere price of $500!!!
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Stormkeeper on October 28, 2009, 07:11:32 pm: ... Wut.
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Nemesis6 on October 28, 2009, 09:45:01 pm: Quote from: Snail on October 27, 2009, 09:38:55 am
This is dumb.

No you're confusing "dumb" and *removed*.

Plz to not be using terms like that. Kthxbai. -- Mongoose
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Hellstryker on November 29, 2009, 07:38:11 am: Shameless gravedig time. Alex... me, Durandal, and Tycho are... all the same person. You fail. :p
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Rodo on November 29, 2009, 09:53:10 am: well that was fun, lot of inspired people round here :nod:
Title: Re: Who. Made. Malware Shivans.
Post by: Woolie Wool on November 29, 2009, 04:10:16 pm: It's a reference to the Vundo trojan which poses as an antivirus program while it rapes your computer.