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Hosted Projects - FS2 Required => Blue Planet => Topic started by: Shivan Hunter on September 12, 2010, 07:52:49 pm

Title: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Shivan Hunter on September 12, 2010, 07:52:49 pm
From IRC: [20:28:24] <redsniper> Steele doesn't abandon ship, the ship abandons him!

Steele has contingencies for the contingencies! -(don't remember attribution)


Steele arrived at a Fed outpost in a spacesuit. Fifteen minutes later, the outpost was in GTVA hands.

Steele is the new Xanatos.

Steele is not afraid of the Shivans. The Shivans are afraid of Admiral Steele.

Steele's pilots have their own AI class. Steele himself has his own class with all values maximized at impossibly high levels. He turns and accelerates in one frame and the projectile limit bows before the might of his weapons because he planned it that way using a Xanatos Gambit.

Steele is actually Ransom's Transcendent. He decided to appear in BP as well because the Transcendent just isn't powerful enough.

Steele wins battles because he's such a BAMF, he creates a Badass singularity around him which absorbes the Badass of all the other pilots in the battlefield.


Anyone got more ideas? No stealing directly from Chuck Norris jokes! :P
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Rodo on September 12, 2010, 08:52:43 pm
But Steele is afraid of MORPHEUSTM...
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Scourge of Ages on September 12, 2010, 09:21:30 pm
Even when Steele loses, he wins. But he doesn't lose.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: AndrewofDoom on September 12, 2010, 09:21:59 pm
Steele is so badass that he doesn't need to rip off the Chuck Norris fact generator!
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Dilmah G on September 12, 2010, 09:25:27 pm
Steele is the product of Admiral Petrarch's one-night stand with a Shivan Commander. Fact.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: SpardaSon21 on September 12, 2010, 09:53:38 pm
Steele has contingencies for the contingencies! -(don't remember attribution)
Grand Admiral Steele doesn't have contingencies for the contingencies.  He has contingencies for the contingencies for the contingencies.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Kolgena on September 12, 2010, 09:57:39 pm
Admiral Steele doesn't stock plasma cores on his ship. Instead, he just sticks his fist in the slot and fires off BFBlues.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Scourge of Ages on September 12, 2010, 10:06:38 pm
Grand Admiral Steele doesn't have contingencies for the contingencies.  He has contingencies for the contingencies for the contingencies.
He has contingencies to the 10th degree. They've never been used.
He is... The most awesomest admiral in the world.

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Bosch Beer."
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Mongoose on September 12, 2010, 11:46:42 pm
Admiral Steele eats two babies for breakfast and three for lunch.

Down with the Tev bastards!
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: MatthTheGeek on September 13, 2010, 01:09:46 am
OMG wat is that thread I don't even
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Spoon on September 13, 2010, 07:12:54 am
Admiral Steele eats two babies for breakfast and three for lunch.

Down with the Tev bastards!
Someone throw this ubuntucon out!  :mad:
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Dilmah G on September 13, 2010, 07:27:32 am
Admiral Steele eats Fed two babies for breakfast and three Shivans for lunch.
Sorry, had to fix it mate. :D
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Kolgena on September 13, 2010, 03:16:53 pm
Admiral Steele eats two Fed for breakfast and three Shivans for lunch.
Sorry, had to fix it mate. :D

For great justice.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: -Sara- on September 13, 2010, 04:02:48 pm
Big ship, small ...

 :lol:
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Jellyfish on September 13, 2010, 04:09:24 pm
In Steele's case, his ship IS his...

They only painted it for PR reasons.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Kolgena on September 13, 2010, 04:12:54 pm
...puts beam turrets in a new light, doesn't it.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: redsniper on September 15, 2010, 04:57:38 pm
The Shivans are a symptom of Admiral Steele.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: SpardaSon21 on September 15, 2010, 05:25:17 pm
Indus Crewman: So there we were, about to blow the Carthage to hell and win the war for us, and all of a sudden the Imperieuse comes out of nowhere and beams the rest of our frigates to death.  We were lucky to escape, even with the whole "jumping-into-near-solar-space" thing.
Fedayeen: Do you know who was responsible?
IC: No idea.  Must have been some kind of tactical geniu...
F: STEEEEEELE!!!!

I know everyone knows it was Steele, but I had to say nobody knew for the meme (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4544432/) (Warning: goes to a thread on /tg/ and may cause spontaneous screaming).
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Jellyfish on September 15, 2010, 06:29:13 pm
When humans/vasudans have nightmares, they see shivans. When shivans have nightmares, they see Steele.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Colonol Dekker on September 15, 2010, 06:58:02 pm
Steeles great great great grandad is Samuel L Jackson.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on September 16, 2010, 07:34:46 am
Give a man a rock, and he'll convert it into a garden.
Give Steele a rock, and he'll re-create the universe.

Steele doesn't need a thinking cap. His head's made from one.

When a man inhales, he exhales shortly after.
When Steele inhales, 10 000 Feds exhale shortly after.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on September 16, 2010, 09:46:57 am
Admiral Steele has balls of, well, Steele.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: terran_emperor on September 18, 2010, 01:54:17 pm
Admiral Steele is the re-incarnation of/will be re-incarnated asAdmiral Preston J Cole (http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Preston_Jeremiah_Cole) the ONLY person from the Halo-verse who can out bad-ass Master Chief Petty Oficer John-117.

Infact I will go on to say that Steele is the re-incarnation of just about every memetic badass military guy there is
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Dragon on September 18, 2010, 02:12:00 pm
Admiral Steele is a reincarnation of gen. "Chesty" Puller (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesty_Puller).  :)
He wasn't just the memetic badass, he really was that good.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: esarai on September 18, 2010, 02:35:24 pm
(http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk124/esaraisaiea/KirkSTEELEcopy.png)
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Scourge of Ages on September 20, 2010, 06:11:30 pm
Admiral Steele once talked a whole Shivan cruiser into surrendering unconditionally, using only the ancient art of pantomime.

He also once convinced a Vasudan scientist that he had a real live wizard serving on the crew of the Atreus.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Jellyfish on September 20, 2010, 07:48:52 pm
The Shivans blew up Capella in a feeble attempt to stop Steele. He simply looked at the supernova with an angry face, and it chickened out, leaving Steele unharmed.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Satellight on September 21, 2010, 03:25:31 pm
Steele's mentor was Abe the Mudokon. Abe teached Steele the ultimate power of the FART !!!

Steele improved this power, creating the SUBSPACE FART.

Now, he can kill the ennemies directly in their cockpits.

No one can stop Steele Ultimate Subspace Fart Power !!!  :warp:
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Dragon on September 21, 2010, 03:50:24 pm
Steele taught Creed everything about tactical genious.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: SpardaSon21 on September 22, 2010, 12:54:48 am
Steele taught Creed everything about tactical genious.
But that would take some kind of tactical geniu...

STEEEEEELEE!!!
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: FreeSpaceFreak on September 22, 2010, 06:21:42 am
Rumour has it that Shivans taste like lobster. Guess who found that out.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on September 22, 2010, 08:10:28 am
Admiral Steele made ice creams before being a warship captain. It may not sound like much, but his recipes were later used by the GTVA to create the HBlue.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: ssmit132 on September 22, 2010, 05:05:22 pm
Admiral Steele made ice creams before being a warship captain. It may not sound like much, but his recipes were later used by the GTVA to create the HBlue.
:lol:
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: -Sara- on September 22, 2010, 08:05:17 pm
Just found out BP2 FRED has a "BALLS OF STEELE" AI difficulty setting. :P
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Ravenholme on September 23, 2010, 08:01:38 am
Steele has contingencies for the contingencies! -(don't remember attribution)

Myself and Useful Dave came up with that one on steam - I think I said it to him.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: General Battuta on September 23, 2010, 08:40:30 am
Steele has contingencies for the contingencies! -(don't remember attribution)

Myself and Useful Dave came up with that one on steam - I think I said it to him.

Interestingly, he also demanded contingencies for the contingencies in Conversations from War in Heaven. Canonical catchphrase!
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Ravenholme on September 23, 2010, 07:00:16 pm
Steele has contingencies for the contingencies! -(don't remember attribution)

Myself and Useful Dave came up with that one on steam - I think I said it to him.

Interestingly, he also demanded contingencies for the contingencies in Conversations from War in Heaven. Canonical catchphrase!

So he did :D
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: SomeGuyWithAName on October 02, 2010, 06:14:43 pm
When Steele was asked: "Why do you take that risk, Sir, going into a full scale offensive like that?" He just answered: "What risk? I'm in charge!"
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Icefox on October 06, 2010, 05:27:36 am
Little known factoid - Ancient seers predicted the coming of what they could only describe in confused, hushed whispers as "The Great Tev Badass." It was prophecy that he would have balls so intensely strong as to be impenetrable. Hence, these seers quickly attributed the name "Steel" to the alloy of the same name we know today.

In the very late 24th century, amused Vishnans pointed out this bit of cosmic oddity to Nagari-sensitive GTVA personnel, and a full temporal investigation was launched. However, before proof could be acquired and the alloy appropriately renamed to "Steele," Admiral Steele intervened, kicked everyone's ass with only a rubber band, half-eaten salami provolone sandwich and his tactical genius, and then went into a long speech about how this is FREESPACE, not STAR TREK.

After extensive analysis as to why Federation recruits were so depressed, it was determined that with Admiral Calder's balls puréed and Byrne's balls still nowhere to be found, Fed recruits lacked effective role models. The establishment of the Fed Navy's "Balls of Steele" fan club shortly thereafter resulted in a 70% reduction in depression across the fleet.

Admiral Steele is so badass, his voice actor developed six ulcers worrying over whether his acting performance would be "badassed enough to do Steele justice."

Admiral Steele is so incredibly awesome, he has me, a die-hard pro-Federation fan of Blue Planet, singing his praises as an AWESOME character whom I absolutely LOVE to hate *AND* hate to love! More Steele! And when (I hope) the dev team kills him off, I'm hoping for serious BLAZE OF GLORY stuff! An ending befitting him: Noble and strong to his last, yet lovably insane and murderous! Just like the Tevvy Bears! <3
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Dilmah G on October 06, 2010, 05:30:26 am
Quote
Little known factoid - Ancient seers predicted the coming of what they could only describe in confused, hushed whispers as "The Great Tev Badass." It was prophecy that he would have balls so intensely strong as to be impenetrable. Hence, these seers quickly attributed the name "Steel" to the alloy of the same name we know today.

In the very late 24th century, amused Vishnans pointed out this bit of cosmic oddity to Nagari-sensitive GTVA personnel, and a full temporal investigation was launched. However, before proof could be acquired and the alloy appropriately renamed to "Steele," Admiral Steele intervened, kicked everyone's ass with only a rubber band, half-eaten salami provolone sandwich and his tactical genius, and then went into a long speech about how this is FREESPACE, not STAR TREK.

After extensive analysis as to why Federation recruits were so depressed, it was determined that they lacked effective role models. The establishment of the Fed Navy's "Admiral Steele Fan Club" shortly thereafter resulted in a 70% reduction in depression across the fleet.
:lol:

GJ mate.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Icefox on October 06, 2010, 05:33:14 am
*Cough* Refresh if you care to. I improved the fan club line a bit, I think. I just HAD to reference some of the in-game dialogue on that one. Far too easy to.

And thanks!   :D
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: General Battuta on October 06, 2010, 07:21:26 am
Just like the Tevvy Bears! <3

omg

bp merchandising machine GO
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Icefox on October 06, 2010, 12:59:34 pm
A teddy bear in a GTVA uniform? Don't forget to include ferocious fangs and wigged out twirly eyes of doom. They must look cute yet insane and ferocious. Exactly like the "Tevvy Bears" I love to shoot up.

---
More fun facts!

Admiral Steele is such a brilliant tactician that even when blending the mocking term "Tevvy Bear" into speech, as long as his name is present with it, the statement sounds terrifying.

Example 1: "Admiral Steele is leading a Tevvy Bear force into Earth orbit!"
"Oh my GOD! Not Steele's Tevvy Bears! We're hosed! Game over, man, game over!"

Example 2: *From the highest rated horror holovid on Earth - hacked off of GTVA frequencies* "Welcome to Admiral Steele Fries! In this episode, Steele will bake his famous Tevvy Bear Brownies, complete with an arsenic alternative for all those Feds out there!" *Canned laughter*

Admiral Steele's does not merely have contingencies for his contingencies. Such is the stuff of amateurs for a man of Steele's caliber. To illustrate Steele's depth of contingencies would require scientific notation.

Admiral Steele might be a brilliant tactician, but there is more to his success than meets the eye. In the event of a failure in his innumerable contingencies, the man is simply too stubborn to lose under any circumstances. Rumor has it that he once defeated a fleet of 42 Sathanas-class Juggernauts in an exercise of sheer willpower. Steele reported that he was "just warming up."
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Ravenholme on October 13, 2010, 04:32:04 am

Admiral Steele's does not merely have contingencies for his contingencies. Such is the stuff of amateurs for a man of Steele's caliber. To illustrate Steele's depth of contingencies would require scientific notation.

Admiral Steele might be a brilliant tactician, but there is more to his success than meets the eye. In the event of a failure in his innumerable contingencies, the man is simply too stubborn to lose under any circumstances. Rumor has it that he once defeated a fleet of 42 Sathanas-class Juggernauts in an exercise of sheer willpower. Steele reported that he was "just warming up."

Brilliant, especially the first one in the quote
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Deadly in a Shadow on October 13, 2010, 10:05:10 am

Admiral Steele is, in fact, Chuck Norris's son. Many theories explain that it's Chuck Norris himself.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: -Sara- on October 13, 2010, 10:14:03 am
When the GTA was cut off from Earth they lost Chuck Norris. Through cosmic necessity Steele was born. :P
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Generalgreen on September 20, 2012, 07:12:18 am
Most gamers have a picture of Master chief by their beds.
Master chief has a picture of Alpha 1 by his bed.
Alpha 1 has a picture of Chuck Norris by his bed.
Chuck Norris has a picture of Admiral Steele by his bed.  :lol: :yes:
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: Fineus on September 20, 2012, 07:14:38 am
Generalgreen, please don't bump old threads.
Title: Re: Let's make an Admiral Steele Random Fact Generator
Post by: The E on September 20, 2012, 08:48:04 am
To the one person who asked for it: No, this thread will not be stickied. It's not very funny, it doesn't serve any kind of informative purpose, and up until the bump, noone had remembered it. So no sticky.