Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: sigtau on October 23, 2010, 11:45:34 pm
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Gentlemen, I have successfully escaped the friend-zone.
Discuss.
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You are a successful, intelligent man and you will do well with this.
(Yes, I speak from personal experience.)
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Good job. :yes:
Friend zone and relationship status aren't mutually exclusive as often as people say they are, I've found (which isn't to say being friend-zoned all the time is good). I'd guess the mutual exclusivity becomes more prominent as one matures.
I had a good female friend once, in the year below at school. Now facebook says I'm in a relationship with her. ;)
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asggjirjg!
I'm jealous.
no really, good for you!
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You, sir, are a wizard and a sorcerer.
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I'd provide further congratulations, but I'm still sour over the bog-like friend-zones I've experienced.
Seriously, it's like the ****ing Fire Swamp from Princess Bride.
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At any given moment, I'm firmly planted in between five and seven friend zones.
Sad face.
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I'm not even experienced enough in social interaction to know if I was ever in a friend zone or not. :p
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Congrats! Though really the trick is to make her think she's the one escaping the friend zone... then she's likely to have two consecutive moments of weakness that lead to Yes's instead of No's, and the next thing you know you're waking up ever morning with a ring on the third finger of your left hand =P Worked for me! =)
Seriously though, the older you get, the more the lines of the dreaded friend-zone blur... many women seem to figure out that someone who can be your best friend is a good choice for a romantic partner as they get older.
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Gentlemen, I have successfully escaped the friend-zone.
Discuss.
YOU LIER, there is NO escape! she's just tricking you IT IS A TRAP!!!
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IT IS A TRAP!!!
(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/2917/ackbarcopy.jpg)
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well i guess there's hope for me then.
if i can stop being a fking wuss about it.
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I first read The fried zone :nervous:
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Well, in last night's holy****ing****thisisawesome excitement, I didn't really get to share details.
This all started two years ago, in my freshman year of high school. A girl that just transferred in at the beginning of the year (who, at the time, had no idea who I was) ended up in my English I class. We became friends by default (since I'm one of those people who finds it easy to make friends who don't have a predetermined judgment about you based on what they've "heard" from other people--I was a whiny ***** before high school...). At the time, I already had a long-distance girlfriend (who was moving to the school at the beginning of the next semester). Eventually, that girlfriend broke off with me--damn good thing too, I can't stand her to this day.
Moving forward to the next school year, the girl in question here (somehow) became best friends with my ex-girlfriend over time, who--even though she couldn't stand the thought of dating me again--purposefully made it difficult for me to be more than just a friend with this girl. So, naturally, I didn't attempt anything until I got the opportunity to--at the school symphony concert (she and I were both in the symphony--ex girlfriend wasn't). I was successful--well, partially anyway.
That's when I found that she wasn't old enough to date yet, according to her parents. I took about a day to accept this and try and move on.
Two weeks later, she comes to school happy as hell, and no one's sure why (apart from--you guessed it--ex girlfriend). After a week's worth of guessing, she finally admits to me that she's in a relationship with an 18 year old guy (we're both 15 years old at this point) who happens to be the cousin of my ex girlfriend, and that she didn't want to tell me because she knew I'd be mad. Of course I was ****ing angry, but I didn't want to show it, and acted like it was nothing. Got home, and managed to spew out an angry phone call to her, asking what the hell happened to "not breaking a promise to your parents?" Well, of course, this gets ex girlfriend on a rampage threatening me with her array of weapons (she was a gun/ballistics enthusiast, as it turns out...) if I didn't stop "harassing" them.
Well, after a few weeks' worth of ignoring each other out of shame and slight tinges of anger, we became friends again just as Christmas rolled around.
Just recently, I went into a slight suspended state overall--not being able to get work done on anything, schoolwork was slipping, and self-awareness of the fact that I was dead in the water on the relationship front was killing me. The girl in question here found out about this, tried to reassure me (though made it clear that she wasn't going to be the one for me). This... didn't really help, but it showed that she did care, so that was the one good thing that came of it.
Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands, something her sister is actively engaged in--she attended, watched their band win second place, and left. On the way home, there was a motorcycle accident. When she drove past the accident scene, there was still a body on the road, with car parts and motorcycle fragments all over the place. This drove her to tears.
She gets home, and via Facebook, she mentions to me that she just came to a realization that life is short and that opportunities are missed--and that I may have been one of those. She is of dating age now.
In reality, all I did was get into an irreplaceable spot in her heart--regardless of whether or not I'm "just a friend."
Teenagers are unable to feel love, and unfortunately, I know this for a fact. She and I are no exception. Whether this works out or not, it all boils down to whether or not we can overcome our own immaturity.
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Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands
Those guys any good? What state/competition? What was their score and show? I was in a band that used to be pretty good...
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Teenagers are unable to feel love
Bull****. Please do not tell me what I can and cannot feel.
Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands
Really? I was working at a competition in the local area for school marching bands yesterday.... Was this person in or near the Manhattan, Kansas area at that time.
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Gentlemen, I have successfully escaped the friend-zone.
Discuss.
May the blessings of Whimmy Wam Wam Wozzle and Giggity Giggity follow you and all of your subsequent gettings of it on.
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Teenagers are unable to feel love
Bull****. Please do not tell me what I can and cannot feel.
There can be exceptions, but I'm really more or less talking about the typical teenager. Probably should have been more specific. In this case, I'm talking about the teenagers who get a slight attachment to someone, find at least one thing in common with them, and suddenly get locked into the idea that it's love.
Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands
Really? I was working at a competition in the local area for school marching bands yesterday.... Was this person in or near the Manhattan, Kansas area at that time.
South Carolina, sorry. :/
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Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands
Really? I was working at a competition in the local area for school marching bands yesterday.... Was this person in or near the Manhattan, Kansas area at that time.
South Carolina, sorry. :/
Were they any good? Got a link to the show?
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love is a state of extreme and irrational affection towards one, you can make the argument that teenagers are more susceptible to making bad choices and ending up with someone poorly matched, but I don't think you can say they don't experience the condition.
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Teenagers are unable to feel love
Bull****. Please do not tell me what I can and cannot feel.
Something said something similar to me at that age and in retrospect, yeah, I think they were right. The emotions you get as a teenager are not very nuanced.
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Something said something similar to me at that age and in retrospect, yeah, I think they were right. The emotions you get as a teenager are not very nuanced.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. There are times when I'll be so happy I can't contain myself, and then something as petty as a bad quiz grade in a class I'm doing fine in will completely ruin my mood and put me into a deep irritable state.
It's just a matter of overcoming your own hormones. I've never been this objective before in my life, especially regarding myself.
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Yeah. Mood swings are awesome. Last week I was terminally depressed. :)
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Teenagers are unable to feel love
false.
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Am I the only person who finds the implication (that he now is not terminally depressed) highly ironic?
Yeah. Mood swings are awesome. Last week I was terminally depressed. :)
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Teenagers are unable to feel love
Bull****. Please do not tell me what I can and cannot feel.
Something said something similar to me at that age and in retrospect, yeah, I think they were right. The emotions you get as a teenager are not very nuanced.
To quote XKCD:
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/connected.png)
Saying that as being someone who is 16 right now and has pledged himself for 4 years now (on a side note, this is the point where the cynical part takes over and starts to look at the whole hopelessness as something really, really funny).
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Cheers!
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Am I the only person who finds the implication (that he now is not terminally depressed) highly ironic?
Yeah. Mood swings are awesome. Last week I was terminally depressed. :)
I don't see the irony. I'd absolutely love an explanation.
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It's funny. Despite how people say teenagers are incapable of that kind of refined (for lack of a better word) love, they always seem to be just as bummed when things don't work as everyone else. I'm not saying that teenagers generally can feel the same way about their partners as say people in their 20s and 30s, but it's a shame to see people dismiss teenage emotion when teenagers feel it anyway, regardless of how mature they are.
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I think teenagers are absolutely capable of that crazy burn that's, like, the first stage of the solid rocket booster of love. But as a teen, looking back, I personally - can't speak for all teens - didn't have the nuance and depth necessary to build a lasting relationship that could tolerate all sorts of nasty bumps and mundane spats. It was hot or cold, no mix.
And I was a pretty thoughtful introspective guy too.
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solid rocket booster of love.
SKKYYYYYYY ROCKETS IN FLIGHT
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Well, see, the difference here is that it's someone that I've been trying to get to for a very long time, so I'm willing to bet that this one might last longer than expected.
If I was a missed opportunity, I better make damn sure I make it even better than that.
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I think teenagers are absolutely capable of that crazy burn that's, like, the first stage of the solid rocket booster of love. But as a teen, looking back, I personally - can't speak for all teens - didn't have the nuance and depth necessary to build a lasting relationship that could tolerate all sorts of nasty bumps and mundane spats. It was hot or cold, no mix.
And I was a pretty thoughtful introspective guy too.
my current.... interest shall we say started when I was 16. back then maybe it was only a "hey, i'd like to date her" thing but it's certainly more than that now. and when i realized that i was still in my teens.
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Then perhaps I should change my conjecture.
Teenagers are unable to feel the desire to keep a long-term relationship unless they've already been able to keep one and suppress their own instinctive desires to break off at the first sign of a bump in the road--in other words, if they were able to get over themselves, then there's a chance that it could easily be something more than just a simple "Hey, I like you."
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I think teenagers are absolutely capable of that crazy burn that's, like, the first stage of the solid rocket booster of love. But as a teen, looking back, I personally - can't speak for all teens - didn't have the nuance and depth necessary to build a lasting relationship that could tolerate all sorts of nasty bumps and mundane spats. It was hot or cold, no mix.
And I was a pretty thoughtful introspective guy too.
my current.... interest shall we say started when I was 16. back then maybe it was only a "hey, i'd like to date her" thing but it's certainly more than that now. and when i realized that i was still in my teens.
Yeah but did you enter into said relationship in the teens?
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in a manner of speaking. in any event, the status of the relationship doesn't change the emotion.
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Well, as of this recent saturday I'm officially out of my teen years ... Well, so says my parents.
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in a manner of speaking. in any event, the status of the relationship doesn't change the emotion.
Sure it does!
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Love is pointless. It can only end in trauma.
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pain is weakness leaving your body
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pain is weakness leaving your body
like the pain caused by crippling neurological degeneration, this expurgates the WEAKNESS
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Love is pointless. It can only end in trauma.
...and children?
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pain is weakness leaving your body
like the pain caused by crippling neurological degeneration, this expurgates the WEAKNESS
Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
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And now I remember why I don't typically share my personal life on here. :nervous:
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And now I remember why I don't typically share my personal life on here. :nervous:
maybe. I'll just say props for you. I've been where you've been, but instead of ending like you have, I've realized that I'm nowhere near ready for a committed relationship.
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Love is pointless. It can only end in trauma.
you're doing it wrong.
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The only way to win is to not play.
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pain is weakness leaving your body
like the pain caused by crippling neurological degeneration, this expurgates the WEAKNESS
Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
i am being serious here do not mock my philosophy about the value of degenerative neural conditions :mad:
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The only way to win is to not play.
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/game_theory.png) (http://xkcd.com/601/)
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And now I remember why I don't typically share my personal life on here. :nervous:
maybe. I'll just say props for you. I've been where you've been, but instead of ending like you have, I've realized that I'm nowhere near ready for a committed relationship.
Never said I would commit to her, though ... from the two years of experience I had with her, if I were forced to do so it would not be all that bad.
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pain is weakness leaving your body
like the pain caused by crippling neurological degeneration, this expurgates the WEAKNESS
Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
i am being serious here do not mock my philosophy about the value of degenerative neural conditions :mad:
I will endeavor not to do so in the future.
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Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
I saw that line, and the image of some shonen fighting manga character yelling out that line inexplicably jumped into my mind.
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Am I the only person who finds the implication (that he now is not terminally depressed) highly ironic?
Yeah. Mood swings are awesome. Last week I was terminally depressed. :)
I don't see the irony. I'd absolutely love an explanation.
Terminal: Final, permanent, fatal, etc. That you are now not is ironic in the not humorous sense, that is, something unexpected.
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The only way to win is to not play.
WOULDN'T YOU PREFER A NICE GAME OF...SEX?
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Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
I saw that line, and the image of some shonen fighting manga character yelling out that line inexplicably jumped into my mind.
Where they piloting an MS-06F?
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Where they piloting an MS-06F?
No, more like a certain hot-blooded kung-fu mecha.
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Sorry I felt a knee jerk need to match silliness for silliness, it was either that or "Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!"
I saw that line, and the image of some shonen fighting manga character yelling out that line inexplicably jumped into my mind.
Or some high school kids hiding in the mountains gettin' ready to kill some Commies. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dawn)
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As much as part of me regrets that I've essentially missed out on the entire undergoing-relationships deal up to this point in my life, there's also a part of me that's relieved that I never had to go through the whole convoluted mess that teenage romance can be. I figure that if/when I do come across someone at this point, I'll at least be able to handle the situation more rationally than I ever would have at that age.
(Granted, I think I've already missed one opportunity due to complete social obliviousness and/or anxiety, but what you gonna do.)
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Something said something similar to me at that age and in retrospect, yeah, I think they were right. The emotions you get as a teenager are not very nuanced.
Love is not a subtle emotion. Nuance has little to do with the question.
I can personally vouch that it's true you can build a lasting relationship as a teen, unless you're now going to attach arbitrary limits of "X years" as well now. (Four, for the record.)
Where they piloting an MS-06F?
A CHAR?
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As much as part of me regrets that I've essentially missed out on the entire undergoing-relationships deal up to this point in my life, there's also a part of me that's relieved that I never had to go through the whole convoluted mess that teenage romance can be. I figure that if/when I do come across someone at this point, I'll at least be able to handle the situation more rationally than I ever would have at that age.
(Granted, I think I've already missed one opportunity due to complete social obliviousness and/or anxiety, but what you gonna do.)
Well it doesn't necessarily have to be a mess, personally I feel that about 90% of the relationships I've been in as a teenager have been some kind of learning experience in some way or another. I'm of the opinion that in this game, it's your experience and how you learn from it that helps you along the road, well at least during my teen years where there's no pretense of it being a serious-serious relationship.
But perhaps more importantly, I'd say from experience comes confidence, the 'Okay, I'm going to say this, 7 times out of 10 you're going to respond like that, and in response I'm going to say this and slip in a nod towards that, and I'm going to experience some of the most tension-filled three seconds of my life waiting for your response'. Well, prior to that courting stage anyway, once you've gotten over that initial nervousness you get the first few times you talk to 'her'.
Anyway, well done Sigtau, a few of the things you've done remind me of some **** I've done in the past (*cough* angry phone calls), and hopefully it'll turn out well for you. :)
Weird and interesting relationships with the other sex are part of the deal when you're a teenager. :P
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Am I the only person who finds the implication (that he now is not terminally depressed) highly ironic?
Yeah. Mood swings are awesome. Last week I was terminally depressed. :)
I don't see the irony. I'd absolutely love an explanation.
Terminal: Final, permanent, fatal, etc. That you are now not is ironic in the not humorous sense, that is, something unexpected.
Are you saying I'm dead?
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Thread Derailment From Hell™
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Getting stuck in the friend zone is not a big deal. This post is sort of snippy.
My take: Oh ****, i'm in the friend zone. Who cares? I certainly don't.
Highschool relationships are bull**** anyway. They're always temporary and rarely result in the "i married my highschool sweetie". Then again, people in their twenties can have equally as bull**** relationships too.
So, as far as the friend zone goes. Who should really care about being stuck in it? Only if you really care about the girl big time would someone only really care, but aside from that, who cares about doing any kind of maneuvering and tactics to try and get out of the friend zone because it's stupid.
Plus, there hasn't been any girl yet that i cared deeply about relegating me to the friend zone that drove me crazy. Then again, i don't date because i don't run my life through the constant mindset of how long it's been since i got laid or that i need to be in a relationship to be cool and have "status". All of which are laughable mindsets which are bull****.
It's my opinion that most people need to rethink the friend zone. You got stuck in it, whoopdeedoo. It's nothing significant, and if it was something significant, then you probably wont be in the friend zone. And if stuck in the friend zone, then be glad you are a friend and not someone she can't stand being around (looking on the bright side).
I've been single for a while, and i don't give a **** about being stuck in the friend zone because i don't give a **** about dating.
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just because a relationship doesn't end up in marriage doesn't make it "bull****."
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I consider dating bull**** when people don't date for the purpose of looking for a mate.
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just because a relationship doesn't end up in marriage doesn't make it "bull****."
indeed. Even 'unsuccessful' ones can be a learning experience. props to sig because at the very least, he won't sit back 30 years from now and wonder "what if I actually had the courage ask her out"
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To further quote xkcd, who seems to have done quite a bit of research on the matter:
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/friends.png)
(I'm not saying this has any relevance to the situation other than basic subject matter)
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just because a relationship doesn't end up in marriage doesn't make it "bull****."
indeed. Even 'unsuccessful' ones can be a learning experience. props to sig because at the very least, he won't sit back 30 years from now and wonder "what if I actually had the courage ask her out"
Unsuccessful relationships are definitely a learning experience. There are also plenty who don't learn from them at all (those who keep dating the same kind of person over and over expecting something different). I take it that this thread doesn't have anyone like that in here. I find that teenage relationships are only good for learning experiences and how to be social more so than in any other part of life since teenage years are a highly developmental time since teenage relationships are mostly temporary.
What i meant by dating being bull**** earlier is that what's the point in dating if you aren't looking for a mate? Finding a mate can either end in marriage or not, a lot of people out there also don't get married.
Which leaves other reasons for dating which is bull****. Dating only because people gave into peer pressure because it's cool to be dating. Dating for just a piece of ass. Or dating to "play the game".
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If forced to commit to her forever like that, I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, because I have yet to identify a problem with her in two years of knowing her (which is why I tried as hard as I did).
If it's temporary, **** it, it didn't matter anyway--but chances are, this isn't going to be a "**** it all" kind of thing for me. This could end well.
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It's good that you have a positive outlook that makes sense.
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I seem to be stuck in the friend zone as well. The one time I brought up the possibility of something more ended with an "Ok, so nothing's changed, no akwardness right? Good." So, I'll keep a look out for someone else, and I know she'll be there for me if thing's go south. And she can expect the same from me.
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For those of you who were in IRC for the last five minutes before this post reply, you already knew what has become of this.
I request a thread lock, mods.
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inb4 lock
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You almost made it too