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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 08:52:45 am

Title: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 08:52:45 am
MENTLEGEN

i have data gathered from a survey of the cocoa farmers of ghana by the cadbury company

i am entrusted with the analysis of this data in order to determine whether ghana's impoverished cocoa farmers are meeting fair trade standards

cadbury will use this data to determine the future of their cocoa purchases in ghana

FURTHERMORE

cadbury is interested in moving to fair trade

the cocoa trade is a critical element of ghana's economy! many livelihoods depend on it!

ghana produces the world's best chocolate; every piece of chocolate you eat likely contains at least some cocoa from ghana

their cocoa board controls the trade in much the same way that CHOAM controls the spice on Arrakis

it does not want cadbury to impose fair trade

THENCE

my conduct with this data may impact the destiny of ghana

the cocoa board may send their best men to guarantee that this data is arranged to meet their ends

i am in a position of great power and danger

please advise me.

inb4delusionsofgrandeur
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Black Wolf on November 04, 2010, 08:57:29 am
Hell yeah. Screw their cocoa up, then we'll move in on their newly impoverished economy and get cheap access to minerals. Ghana's NW Africa right? There's serious money to be made up there these days.

Mining = awesome. :D
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: CommanderDJ on November 04, 2010, 08:59:37 am
/me senses a Mass Effect style critical decision happening right now.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 09:02:15 am
right, so

we crash the cocoa economy, get into their mineral sector, make a killing, cash out

take cash, get freespace rights?
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: StarSlayer on November 04, 2010, 09:03:25 am
Go ride the cocoa worm Kwisatz Hadertutta.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Nuke on November 04, 2010, 09:05:20 am
thats shai hulud, newb.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: StarSlayer on November 04, 2010, 09:26:52 am
Quote from: Nuke on November 04, 2010, 09:05:20 am
thats shai hulud, newb.

I assume cocoa worm would be known as something different among the Fremen.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Grizzly on November 04, 2010, 09:52:07 am
Quote from: CommanderDJ on November 04, 2010, 08:59:37 am
/me senses a Mass Effect style critical decision happening right now.
/me hopes for a Witcher Style decision. It has cooler artwork, and you do not have to die in order to see the consequences.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Kosh on November 04, 2010, 11:22:56 am
Quote from: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 09:02:15 am
right, so

we crash the cocoa economy, get into their mineral sector, make a killing, cash out

take cash, get freespace rights?


Very evil and very capitalistic, nicely done.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Scotty on November 04, 2010, 11:56:12 am
Make a decision based on the data gathered, not any other personal or extra-personal factors.  If Ghana does indeed meet fair trade standards, and Cadbury moves to fair trade, many lives (and chocolate bars) will be enriched.  If it does not, then it has missed a wonderful opportunity.  Such is the way of things.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 11:57:31 am
Quote from: Scotty on November 04, 2010, 11:56:12 am
Make a decision based on the data gathered, not any other personal or extra-personal factors.  If Ghana does indeed meet fair trade standards, and Cadbury moves to fair trade, many lives (and chocolate bars) will be enriched.  If it does not, then it has missed a wonderful opportunity.  Such is the way of things.

there are two ghana men in nice suits outside my office talking to the people in the hall
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Turambar on November 04, 2010, 12:02:25 pm
I say **** those giant corporations.  they have enough dirty money.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Angelus on November 04, 2010, 12:15:11 pm
Quote from: Turambar on November 04, 2010, 12:02:25 pm
I say **** those giant corporations.  they have enough dirty money.

 :yes:
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Scotty on November 04, 2010, 12:22:10 pm
Quote from: Turambar on November 04, 2010, 12:02:25 pm
I say **** those giant corporations.  they have enough dirty money.

Their whole purpose for existing is to make money.  This violates no laws, let them have at it, if they so deserve.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: StarSlayer on November 04, 2010, 12:35:59 pm
If I'm interpreting the Kwisatz Haderttuta's post correctly the 'Corporation,' is the one attempting to improve conditions with fair trade.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Scourge of Ages on November 04, 2010, 12:43:36 pm
Whoo, that's a tough call there 'ttuta. I'm sure you'll do the professional thing and make any decisions based on available data.
However, I don't think you'll feel that you have collected all data without a fairly substantial sample of product (for empirical testing, you know).  ;7
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Turambar on November 04, 2010, 12:44:42 pm
I'm pretty sure 'fair trade' is actually code for 'big Western economy-rape multinational gangbang"
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 12:53:02 pm
Quote from: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 08:52:45 am
advise me.

If you're going to lie, don't hesitate. If you hesitate, don't lie.

Also:

Aim for the Top

Ne Cede Malis

ROW ROW Fight the Power
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Scotty on November 04, 2010, 12:57:40 pm
Quote from: Turambar on November 04, 2010, 12:44:42 pm
I'm pretty sure 'fair trade' is actually code for 'big Western economy-rape multinational gangbang"

No.  If you'd bother to look it up without screaming bloody murder because a corporation is involved, you'd know that it actually helps a participating economy.  It empirically increase value of goods and helps promote sustainability.

Quoth the wiki:
Quote
The movement advocates the payment of a higher price to producers as well as social and environmental standards
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: iamzack on November 04, 2010, 02:19:52 pm
i think tura is thinking of free trade, not fair trade.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Mongoose on November 04, 2010, 02:44:48 pm
1) Screw over everyone involved.
2) Steal all the chocolate for yourself.
3) OMNOMNOM.
4) ???
5) PROFIT!!!
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 02:46:28 pm
diabeetus
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: StarSlayer on November 04, 2010, 02:58:02 pm
Quote from: iamzack on November 04, 2010, 02:19:52 pm
i think tura is thinking of free trade, not fair trade.

(http://i51.tinypic.com/fqkbp.jpg)
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 02:59:09 pm
D:

buy stock buy stock
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Rodo on November 04, 2010, 03:13:05 pm
Quote from: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 12:53:02 pm
ROW ROW Fight the Power

I'm 100% behind this.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Kolgena on November 04, 2010, 09:36:24 pm
My guess is if you eat enough chocolate, you'll achieve prescience. Then you'll know exactly what to do to lead us down the Cocoa Pathtutta.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 04, 2010, 09:52:08 pm
Quote from: Kolgena on November 04, 2010, 09:36:24 pm
My guess is if you eat enough chocolate, you'll achieve prescience. Then you'll know exactly what to do to lead us down the Cocoa Pathtutta.

wisdom at last!
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: mxlm on November 04, 2010, 10:10:44 pm
Don't stop believing.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Rhymes on November 04, 2010, 10:18:43 pm
Quote from: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 12:53:02 pm

Ne Cede Malis


THIS
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Bearstrike on November 04, 2010, 10:28:22 pm
Burn Ghana to the ground, no more problem to deal with.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: SpardaSon21 on November 04, 2010, 10:41:31 pm
If you're going to completely destroy something, you need to do it from orbit, and with nuclear warheads.  It's the only way to be sure.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 11:46:09 pm
Quote from: Rodo on November 04, 2010, 03:13:05 pm
Quote from: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 12:53:02 pm
ROW ROW Fight the Power
I'm 100% behind this.
Quote from: Rhymes_With_PSYCHO on November 04, 2010, 10:18:43 pm
Quote from: redsniper on November 04, 2010, 12:53:02 pm
Ne Cede Malis
THIS

2 out of 3 references caught. I am satisfied that my all-purpose advice did some good.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: ssmit132 on November 05, 2010, 12:13:06 am
I demand that you introduce a product called "Chocolatutta". :p
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Kolgena on November 05, 2010, 12:13:33 am
I cannot help but hear that pronounced like Yoddeleyheehoo
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: IronBeer on November 05, 2010, 12:51:35 am
Short-term advice: Chocolattuta should do what it feels is right; Chocolattuta certainly knows more about the situation than is sharing on these boards, and within that data is the power to make the so-called "right choice".

Preferred advice: Recommend Chocolattuta gather more salient data to issue at hand. Reiteration: extra data facilitates "right choice".

Inquiry: Should Cadbury find the trade conditions of the Ghana Cocoa Board undesirable and move their business elsewhere (scenario probability indeterminate), is the probability good that the Ghana cocoa farmers would still find business?
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 05, 2010, 06:59:54 am
Quote from: IronBeer on November 05, 2010, 12:51:35 am
Inquiry: Should Cadbury find the trade conditions of the Ghana Cocoa Board undesirable and move their business elsewhere (scenario probability indeterminate), is the probability good that the Ghana cocoa farmers would still find business?

Such as 'business' is. An average household makes about a dollar a day. I don't think they have anywhere to go but up!
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Kosh on November 05, 2010, 07:39:28 am
They could always go back down to half a dollar a day.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Klaustrophobia on November 05, 2010, 05:41:11 pm
Quote from: mxlm on November 04, 2010, 10:10:44 pm
Don't stop believing.

HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 05, 2010, 05:49:40 pm
Well today I found an error that had caused me to accidentally multiply the rate of child labor and child machete injuries by 300%.

Whoops! Sorry, Ghana! Good I caught it, huh?
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Mongoose on November 05, 2010, 10:55:16 pm
Remind me never to live in your SimCity. :p
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Nuke on November 07, 2010, 04:27:32 pm
i feel like locking something without reason
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: General Battuta on November 07, 2010, 04:36:12 pm
but the fate of ghana continues on monday!
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: CommanderDJ on November 07, 2010, 11:29:57 pm
Quote from: Nuke on November 07, 2010, 04:27:32 pm
i feel like locking something without reason

inb4 lock

<____<

>____>

:D
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Darius on November 08, 2010, 12:36:44 am
Battuta what have you done? The exodus has begun! (http://www.news.com.au/world/affordable-chocolate-could-run-out-in-20-years/story-e6frfkyi-1225949483102)
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Dilmah G on November 08, 2010, 01:54:15 am
I see a great opportunity here.

I could walk down to the supermarket with a hundred bucks, get a whole bar fridge worth of chocolate (as well as buying the bar fridge itself), keep it downstairs for the next twenty years and then sell it or eat it.

Dilmah, you genius. :D
**** the use-by date.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Bearstrike on November 08, 2010, 05:45:19 am
Quote from: Dilmah G on November 08, 2010, 01:54:15 am
I see a great opportunity here.

I could walk down to the supermarket with a hundred bucks, get a whole bar fridge worth of chocolate (as well as buying the bar fridge itself), keep it downstairs for the next twenty years and then sell it or eat it.

Dilmah, you genius. :D
**** the use-by date.

Be realistic Dilmah, you couldn't go a week without eating it.  Especially if theres no Maccas or KFC nearby.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Black Wolf on November 08, 2010, 06:13:52 am
Better yet, take advantage of the high aussie dollar and buy it from overseas. You could get two bar fridges. :D
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: StarSlayer on November 08, 2010, 06:22:13 am
Quote from: Darius on November 08, 2010, 12:36:44 am
Battuta what have you done? The exodus has begun! (http://www.news.com.au/world/affordable-chocolate-could-run-out-in-20-years/story-e6frfkyi-1225949483102)

To Battuta, Hard Light Hero, eighth day, eleventh month, year two thousand and ten.  You are hereby directed to secure the future production of chocolate with all possible dispatch.  Fail not in this charge at your own peril.
Title: Re: jobttuta controls destiny of ghana
Post by: Dilmah G on November 08, 2010, 06:22:51 am
Quote from: Black Wolf on November 08, 2010, 06:13:52 am
Better yet, take advantage of the high aussie dollar and buy it from overseas. You could get two bar fridges. :D
Excellent! :D

Quote from: Bearstrike on November 08, 2010, 05:45:19 am
Be realistic Dilmah, you couldn't go a week without eating it.  Especially if theres no Maccas or KFC nearby.
Well I could lock the fridge(s) and eat from the Maccers/HJs/KFC I live next to.  :yes: