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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sandwich on March 09, 2011, 12:41:15 pm

Title: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Sandwich on March 09, 2011, 12:41:15 pm
Quote
from   Liverwood Promotion <[email protected]>

2011 Winner;

You are a Proud Winner of £1,500,000 Pounds from Liverwood Promo.

Send below info for claims;
Name..
Address..
Country..
Tel/Cell..
Occupation..

Regards,
Dr Lucy Giles
Liverwood Inc

*sigh*
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: General Battuta on March 09, 2011, 12:45:04 pm
In a flat, spatially open, infinite universe, all events of non-zero probability must occur. Somewhere, you have received one million, five hundred thousand pounds.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: S-99 on March 09, 2011, 01:22:12 pm
Pat yourself on the back sandwich. To congratulate your other universe selves that did win.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Mongoose on March 09, 2011, 02:03:18 pm
And then tell the assholes to quit holding out on you and share the wealth. :p
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Snail on March 09, 2011, 03:03:45 pm
In a flat, spatially open, infinite universe, all events of non-zero probability must occur. Somewhere, you have received one million, five hundred thousand pounds.
Well technically an infinite (transfinite?) number of somewheres.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 09, 2011, 03:09:23 pm
Quote
Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later...

We has attached photo of your fume

One of my coworkers got this one a while back
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: watsisname on March 09, 2011, 03:49:38 pm
In a flat, spatially open, infinite universe, all events of non-zero probability must occur. Somewhere, you have received one million, five hundred thousand pounds.

Odds of getting struck by lightning >> odds of winning £1.5mil through email. 
Therefore, in flat, infinite universe,
# Cooked Sandwiches >> # rich Sandwiches
mmmmmm
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Herra Tohtori on March 09, 2011, 03:58:51 pm
Quote
Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later...

We has attached photo of your fume

One of my coworkers got this one a while back


I hope they didn't open the attached photo.zip file, it's a trojan.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 09, 2011, 04:43:52 pm
Quote
Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later...

We has attached photo of your fume

One of my coworkers got this one a while back


I hope they didn't open the attached photo.zip file, it's a trojan.

Well he didn't "has" a baby so no :D
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Flipside on March 09, 2011, 04:47:23 pm
Hijacked a baby? What did they do, hold the mother up at gunpoint and then drive the baby off down the road at high speed? :wtf:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 09, 2011, 04:55:22 pm
Hijacked a baby? What did they do, hold the mother up at gunpoint and then drive the baby off down the road at high speed? :wtf:

I assume it was starring Check Norris or Steven Seagal
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Kszyhu on March 09, 2011, 05:08:58 pm
They were probably inspired by Sam Starfall. http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01062.htm (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01062.htm) and http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01063.htm (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01063.htm)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: redsniper on March 09, 2011, 06:30:31 pm
Things We Wish Were Real

X-Wings
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Enigmatic Entity on March 09, 2011, 06:56:37 pm
Probability of Mutant Ninja(Not) Turtles > Winning $1.5mil by email (http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/two-headed-tortoise-destined-for-stardom/6bs6m65?q=Tortoise&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=msnrll&gt1=42010)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Rodo on March 09, 2011, 06:59:26 pm
Freespace
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: General Battuta on March 09, 2011, 07:00:39 pm
John Connor
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Flipside on March 09, 2011, 07:03:16 pm
Personal Jetpacks!
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 09, 2011, 07:19:05 pm
John Connor

Which one?
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 09, 2011, 08:08:15 pm
Jessica Rabbit
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Black Wolf on March 09, 2011, 10:48:04 pm
Heidi Montag

(http://www.celebgossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Heidi-Montag-Bikini-Las-Vegas.jpg)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Dilmah G on March 10, 2011, 03:13:23 am
 :jaw:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: T-LoW on March 10, 2011, 03:15:24 am
Ugly barbie-girl is ugly :nervous:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 10, 2011, 03:31:02 am
It's the hair. The hair is just so incredibly off. :(
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Dilmah G on March 10, 2011, 03:40:01 am
...you guys even looked at the face?
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Pred the Penguin on March 10, 2011, 04:14:51 am
It's all off...

Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: General Battuta on March 10, 2011, 09:44:55 am
...you guys even looked at the face?

I see plenty of plastic balloons at McDonalds playpens man
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Dilmah G on March 10, 2011, 10:01:03 am
Haha! Good call, mate  :lol:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 10, 2011, 10:37:49 am
I don't really know who Heidi Montage is outside of the fact that the media made a big deal out of her surgery choices awhile ago, but since it just came up in this thread I decided to google what she looked like pre surgery...


what a shame.  She really screwed herself up.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Ravenholme on March 10, 2011, 10:50:00 am
I guess that's why Black Wolf wishes she was still real
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 11, 2011, 01:22:06 am
...you guys even looked at the face?

I started, and stopped, by volume.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: karajorma on March 11, 2011, 01:50:05 am
I don't really know who Heidi Montage is outside of the fact that the media made a big deal out of her surgery choices awhile ago, but since it just came up in this thread I decided to google what she looked like pre surgery...


what a shame.  She really screwed herself up.

Got a link? I seem to vaguely recall she Wildensteined herself quite badly.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Wobble73 on March 11, 2011, 03:52:19 am
Utopia  :(
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Flipside on March 11, 2011, 04:04:36 am
One atom of Justice... One molecule of Mercy ;)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 11, 2011, 08:13:18 am
I don't really know who Heidi Montage is outside of the fact that the media made a big deal out of her surgery choices awhile ago, but since it just came up in this thread I decided to google what she looked like pre surgery...


what a shame.  She really screwed herself up.

Got a link? I seem to vaguely recall she Wildensteined herself quite badly.

Comparison article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/heidi-montags-10-plastic_n_423855.html)

Aside from obnoxious fake breasts they managed to add at least ten years to her face. 
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Marcov on March 11, 2011, 08:39:58 am
(http://i53.tinypic.com/33cu0dh.jpg)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 11, 2011, 09:28:04 am
I used to wish Pokemon was real, but then I saw some pretty disturbing images, so I stopped wishing.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Pred the Penguin on March 11, 2011, 10:20:07 am
Hotels on Mars. :drevil:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Snail on March 11, 2011, 01:28:24 pm
The World.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: redsniper on March 11, 2011, 05:10:10 pm
Accountability
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Kszyhu on March 11, 2011, 05:23:52 pm
Google Maps' Orbital Ion Cannon
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Marcov on March 11, 2011, 11:56:21 pm
(http://i52.tinypic.com/6r3l36.jpg)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 12, 2011, 12:09:39 am
A GTD Hecate capable of atmospheric flight.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: MR_T3D on March 12, 2011, 02:41:34 am
I wish I knew if love at first sight were real
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: The E on March 12, 2011, 03:04:31 am
I wish I knew if love at first sight were real

It is. I have proof.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: S-99 on March 12, 2011, 05:57:28 am
We don't need a picture of your junk on the forum man.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Hades on March 12, 2011, 07:51:34 am
A GTD Hecate capable of atmospheric flight.
Why would you want that? Do you want the atmosphere of whatever planet a Hecate attempts this to burn from the sight of said ship?
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 12, 2011, 08:08:18 am
I just think a Hecate might look nice in the sky.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Snail on March 12, 2011, 02:25:25 pm
I wish I knew if love at first sight were real
It is. I have proof.
rly
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: S-99 on March 13, 2011, 04:38:15 am
Plz no encourgement. The proof could be anything.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Mefustae on March 13, 2011, 04:49:23 am
And if memory serves, bestiality is still illegal most places.


Although, to address the topic... "The things that I want", by Max Payne Mefustae: A smoke. A whiskey. For the sun to shine. I want to sleep to forget. To change the past. My wife and baby girl back. Unlimited ammo and a license to kill. Right then, more than anything, I wanted her.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: watsisname on March 13, 2011, 04:12:26 pm
gensokyo, and its denizens
booze trees and colossus burgers
a hunger to match the unstoppable might of the colossus burger
booze tree harvester
butthair worthy of a Norse God's temptation
wait did I just type that out lou--
lightning from my fingertips!
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Pred the Penguin on March 14, 2011, 07:05:01 am
Wet ass? :drevil:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 14, 2011, 08:27:05 am
Easily done. Go take a bath. :p
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Nuke on March 14, 2011, 09:54:27 am
hot lesbians
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: watsisname on March 14, 2011, 12:07:18 pm
pretty sure those exist, nuke. :P
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 14, 2011, 12:08:36 pm
Repercussions for posting stupid **** on the internet.  If people were automagically slapped stupid for posting fag or gay the net would be a better place for it.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: General Battuta on March 14, 2011, 12:09:52 pm
Repercussions for posting stupid **** on the net.

I can't believe you'd advocate the end of the Internet
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: StarSlayer on March 14, 2011, 01:23:39 pm
Repercussions for posting stupid **** on the net.

I can't believe you'd advocate the end of the Internet

Purge the Unclean
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_RfD80Ww88ew/TSbECOF0uDI/AAAAAAAAA6k/xa9uIwd_SdI/s1600/1188799158652.jpg)
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: S-99 on March 14, 2011, 07:59:20 pm
And if memory serves, bestiality is still illegal most places.
I have this insatiable urge to **** a goat now.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: redsniper on March 14, 2011, 08:36:47 pm
Quote
Things We Wish Were Real

Beyond Good & Evil 2
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 15, 2011, 05:37:48 pm
gensokyo, and its denizens

Why the **** would you want that?
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 15, 2011, 09:35:05 pm
He wants to meet [insert Touhou character] up close and personal. Not that close, but you get the idea. :nervous:

Living in Gensokyo may also seem appealing to some. After all, your shrine maiden can fly.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 15, 2011, 09:40:05 pm
Personally, I was more expecting he was looking for the Spring Of Drowned Girl, but that'd be a hell of a thing to admit to on Teh Internets.
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on March 15, 2011, 09:51:04 pm
I thought the Spring Of Drowned Girl is located in Jusenkyo, which is in Ranma 1/2 continuity, not Touhou. :confused:
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 15, 2011, 10:02:14 pm
I thought the Spring Of Drowned Girl is located in Jusenkyo, which is in Ranma 1/2 continuity, not Touhou. :confused:

I have seen it spelled both ways, and so am unsure of which is correct. :(
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: watsisname on March 15, 2011, 11:08:04 pm
gensokyo, and its denizens

Why the **** would you want that?

Because it's a world where every problem is solved by spewing colorful magic bulletspam all over the ****ing place.  What's not to like?
Title: Re: Things We Wish Were Real
Post by: NGTM-1R on March 16, 2011, 10:01:13 am
Because it's a world where every problem is solved by spewing colorful magic bulletspam all over the ****ing place.  What's not to like?

Because you're in the crossfire, mostly.