While I’ve committed fanfic in the past, and recognise that it can be a valid art-form in the right hands, I think that it rarely *is* in the right hands – Sturgeon’s Law probably needs to be adapted for fanfic so that it reads “99% of everything is crap – and 99% of the 1% that’s left isn’t up to much either”.
So why am I up to my third reading of a(n as yet incomplete) Harry Potter fanfic novel by Eliezer Yudkowsky, which already weighs in at longer than most completed novels?
Put simply, it’s one of the funniest, cleverest things I’ve read in a long, long time. While Yudkowsky originally intended this as primarily a didactic tool, it’s a rather brilliant satirical novel as well. The basic idea is that Harry Potter’s mother’s sister, instead of marrying an abusive slob, married a professor of biochemistry at Oxford University, so when he gets adopted after his biological parents, Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres is brought up in a very loving family, surrounded by books on science and SF novels, and becomes a child prodigy in science before ever learning about magic. As a result, he sets about actually *analysing* how magic works, applying the scientific method to figuring out what’s *really* going on. [/b]
... I am going to tear apart your pathetic little magical remnant of the Dark Ages into pieces smaller than its constituent atoms. ...
... I wonder how difficult it would be to just make a list of all the top blood purists and kill them. ...
... Note to self: Overthrow government of magical Britain at earliest convenience. ...
As Mikes is probably aware, this is by one of the guys behind the Superhappies/Babyeaters story we discussed a little while back.
I'll read it when it's finished. But I have to say, the basic premise behind this sounds far better than the source material.
I CAN DO MAGIC! FEAR ME, LAWS OF PHYSICS, I'M COMING TO VIOLATE YOU!
"Rest assured, Mr. Potter," replied Professor McGonagall, "Hogwarts is quite capable of teaching the basics. And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorizing what remains of England.":lol:
It's a good concept but kind of smug and didactic and annoying.
There was a slithering sound behind him, and Harry turned to confirm that his trunk had indeed followed him on its small clawed tentacles. Apparently, for magical purposes, his luggage had also managed to believe with sufficient strength to pass through the barrier. Actually that was quite disturbing when Harry started thinking about it.
Harry: "So let me get this straight," Harry said as it seemed that Ron's explanation (with associated hand gestures) was winding down. "Catching the Snitch is worth one hundred and fifty points?"
Ron: "Yeah -"
Harry: "How many ten-point goals does one side usually score not counting the Snitch?"
Ron: "Um, maybe fifteen or twenty in professional games -"
Harry: "That's just wrong. That violates every possible rule of game design. Look, the rest of this game sounds like it might make sense, sort of, for a sport I mean, but you're basically saying that catching the Snitch overwhelms almost any ordinary point spread. The two Seekers are up there flying around looking for the Snitch and usually not interacting with anyone else, spotting the Snitch first is going to be mostly luck -"
Ron: "It's not luck!" protested Ron. "You've got to keep your eyes moving in the right pattern -"
Harry: "That's not interactive, there's no back-and-forth with the other player and how much fun is it to watch someone incredibly good at moving their eyes? And then whichever Seeker gets lucky swoops in and grabs the Snitch and makes everyone else's work moot. It's like someone took a real game and grafted on this pointless extra position just so that you could be the Most Important Player without needing to really get involved or learn the rest of it. Who was the first Seeker, the King's idiot son who wanted to play Quidditch but couldn't understand the rules?" Actually, now that Harry thought about it, that seemed like a surprisingly good hypothesis. Put him on a broomstick and tell him to catch the shiny thing...
Ron: Ron's face pulled into a scowl. "If you don't like Quidditch, you don't have to make fun of it!"
Harry: "If you can't criticize, you can't optimize. I'm suggesting how to improve the game. And it's very simple. Get rid of the Snitch."
So how much does this thing cover, actually? The whole series?Up until the author decides to stop writing I suppose.
You read 71 chapters in 2 days? Wtf?That's when he started reading dude, not when he started and finished. :P
Time difference between the time jr2 posted on the 17th and the 10th or 12th is anywhere between 7 and 9 days. Your math is botched. :P