Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: StargateSpankyHam on May 14, 2011, 12:41:00 am
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As a dedicated carnivore, let me reassure you that no, I have not gone insane. I have found a way to make broccoli as awesome as the Blue Planet campaigns.
Vegetarians...might not wish to read any further.
Mix up some crab stuffing. Take a couple slices of bread, send them through the food processor, along with two or three teaspoons or so of sliced up green onions. After turning that into onion-bread-shards, mix in a half-pound of lump crab meat. Then an egg, and a fair amount of mayonnaise (add it slowly, so it doesn't get too greasy). Then, just season it to flavor. I put some red pepper, garlic, soy sauce, parmesian cheese, and a little lemon juice in it.
Take some fresh broccoli bundles and chop off the tops. Leave about an inch to an inch and a half of stem - it makes things easier. You may want to chop up the rest of the stems, but personally, I prefer just the florets.
Start with the larger pieces of broccoli, and pack the crab stuffing in around the base of the florets, shaping the broccoli-stuffing mass into a rough sphere. Then, take a piece of bacon, and wrap it around the spheroid of broccoli-stuffing mass. Try and cover it completely with the bacon (don't worry, it's not the end of the world if you can't do it). Take a toothpick, and stab it through the end of the bacon, through the stalk of the broccoli, and through to the other side. Make sure your hands/fingers are not in the way when you do this. Especially large ones may require a second toothpick. This is largely to get it to survive cooking intact.
Eventually, you will run out of crab stuffing. At this point, take the remaining bacon and broccoli, and just repeat the procedure, skipping the crab stuffing. The crab stuffing is the difference between 'great' and 'monumentally awesome'. For smaller pieces, cut the bacon, and use a half-strip. It would surprise you how stretchy bacon is.
Once you have all the broccoli-oids assembled, crank up the grill. Yes, these get grilled, not boiled or steamed. (Oven would be theoretically possible, but much more difficult.) If the grill has a top rack, just put them up there, crank the temperature on the grill up, and check them periodically. They're done when the bacon turns a nice, deep, golden brown color. If you don't have a top rack for the grill, just put them on the grate, at a medium-low temperature, and roll them around frequently.
Take the toothpicks out, and enjoy!
Oh, an important note. Do this with center-cut bacon. It is less fatty, is healthier, still has a great flavor...and I really don't know how using other kinds of bacon would work. Also note that when you first begin cooking it, it will smell like the apocalypse, so don't get discouraged.
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So...what's the broccoli for?
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Broccoli is preposterously good for you (or so I hear) it like, cures cancer and stuff.
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****, now I'm hungry.
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Broccoli is preposterously good for you (or so I hear) it like, cures cancer and stuff.
And it tastes good on top of it.
I actually don't have a problem with most vegetables. The exceptions are beans of any kind and peas. Cannot stand either of those.
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Broccoli is preposterously good for you (or so I hear) it like, cures cancer and stuff.
Even after wrapping them in bacon and mayonnaise and grilling them?
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Well, there was only about a teaspoon or two of mayonnaise in the whole batch, and center-cut bacon doesn't have nearly as much fat as normal bacon does. It detracts from the overall healthiness factor - but it's probably still a net gain. Especially since exercise can burn off the extra fat introduced.
...Too bad we can't wrap beans and peas in bacon. Or can we?
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Hmm, bacon.
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gtfo of the kitchen, newb!
broccoli is not something that needs a whole lot of work to make awesome. its already something i use in a lot of stir frys and other asian dishes. i also use it as one of my perfered sides to my typical redneck cooking (such as meat loaf), only adding a little butter (and sometimes with garlic and italian seasoning if im feeling adventurous). i always find complexity in the kitchen to be bad. keep it simple and it wont need to go in the trash. my sister always takes everything too far and the end result is a messy kitchen and a meal nobody wants to eat.
i treat my broccoli stems much the same way i treat stems in my dope. i paid for them i aint gonna throw them away (they will get eaten or smoked one way or another). as a side its usually 4:1 stem-floret ratio, but in something like a stir fry i flip the ratio to 1:4.
as for food processors, throw that peice of **** away and invest in some decent cutlery and spend some time to learn how to use it. food processors require too much clean up time. id rather just use a knife or some kitchen shears for most of my choppy needs.
and to bacon. its bacon, its awesome by itself. and frankly thats the only way i eat it, unless im using it as a garnish for something like a baked potato.
and as for crab. yea sometimes il go out on the boat and haul up a crab pot full of dunges. we dont do anything fancy. just pull their legs off and throw em in a bucket, and grab a bucket of seawater. then we take em home, where we have 3 cinder blocks, a propane torch and an old stock pot set up as sort of a makeshift range out by the saw mill. dump in the crab legs and as much sea water that will fit into the pot. a little while later we haul it to a picnic table, and go at it with nut crackers and sometimes a hammer.
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Broccoli is preposterously good for you (or so I hear) it like, cures cancer and stuff.
And it tastes good on top of it.
I actually don't have a problem with most vegetables. The exceptions are beans of any kind and peas. Cannot stand either of those.
Interestingly most people wouldn't have most illnesses and diseases if they had access to more healthy vegetables and stuff, as most diseases appear to be based on vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
Makes me happy my parents always cooked good food and generally a lot of vegetables included ;)
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In this thread, *****es be trippin'. Broccoli is ****ing delicious. Little butter is all it needs. And some peas. Mmm. Carrots. Cauliflower. Lettuce. Garlic and pepper. Mashed potatoes. Rolls. Corn. Cornbread. Some more butter. STEAK. COOKED RARE. BLOOD STILL ON THE PLATE. Side of bourbon and coke. Maybe a lime in there if I feel fruity. Finish with a Car Bomb. **** yeah.
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i like eating things i shot too.
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In this thread, *****es be trippin'. Broccoli is ****ing delicious. Little butter is all it needs. And some peas. Mmm. Carrots. Cauliflower. Lettuce. Garlic and pepper. Mashed potatoes. Rolls. Corn. Cornbread. Some more butter. STEAK. COOKED RARE. BLOOD STILL ON THE PLATE. Side of bourbon and coke. Maybe a lime in there if I feel fruity. Finish with a Car Bomb. **** yeah.
:yes:
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Think I'll have a stir-fry this evening.
Hmm, wonder if we have some spring onions left. *checks fridge*
Nope.
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You can make one of those green vegetable soups from broccoli. For those that really don't like it or vegetables in general it's probably the healthiest/yet acceptable form of broccoli. It's still good for you and it tastes really good, and if you still have a problem with it you can add some sour cream in it. Some find it enhances the taste and sour cream isn't nearly as unhealthy as bacon or mayonnaise. I personally don't have an issue with most vegetables and the only one I can't stand in any shape or form is leek - even the smell of it will make my stomach hurt.
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Vegetable soups are generally quite good.
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If you hate broccoli and cheese, you my friend are messed up.
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Hell, I enjoy nomming on raw broccoli. :p
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Hell, I enjoy nomming on raw broccoli. :p
AMEN. Boiled with a little salt and black pepper is good as well.
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Hell, I enjoy nomming on raw broccoli. :p
I... I can't. I just can't.
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Nuke got it right. Brocoli doesn't need much preparation to make it good, which is the case for most veggies imo.
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Broccoli is preposterously good for you (or so I hear) it like, cures cancer and stuff.
And it tastes good on top of it.
I actually don't have a problem with most vegetables. The exceptions are beans of any kind and peas. Cannot stand either of those.
I love most vegetables, about the only real exception is Aubergine.
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Try China where they know how to cook it.
I couldn't stand them until I came here. :)
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Try China where they know how to cook it.
I couldn't stand them until I came here. :)
QTF
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Try China where they know how to cook it.
I couldn't stand them until I came here. :)
if it wasnt for chinese food, id probably not like veggies as much as i do these days. dont get me wrong, the main course is almost always meat for me (and this is mostly because i cook for others who are picky eaters). but the chinese have developed their cooking style to use very little meat while still being delicious. since fresh produce is hard to come by in this part of alaska, ive mostly been eating a lot of those frozen stirfry veggie blends and adding a small portion of meat and sometimes asian noodles to it. i could probibly live off the things but nobody here likes chinese food. and that is sad.
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Why do you say "broccoli is" if "broccoli" is a plural form? This is hardly important, just asking because I'm curious... :nervous:
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Because in english it doesn't matter? IDK...
Try China where they know how to cook it.
I couldn't stand them until I came here. :)
*snip*
I wonder what'd you say if you tried some of the 'special' Chinese foods. :rolleyes:
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Why do you say "broccoli is" if "broccoli" is a plural form? This is hardly important, just asking because I'm curious... :nervous:
Because "broccoli" is just like that.
This fish is dumb.
These fish are dumb.
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STEAK. COOKED RARE. BLOOD STILL ON THE PLATE.
Hate to break this to ya (actually, no I don't), but that's not blood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myoglobin#Meat_color).
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Yeah yeah but calling it blood makes it so much manlier. D:
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Yeah yeah but calling it blood makes it so much manlier. D:
What he said.
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yea blood is pretty nasty (hunting rituals, lol). that red stuff on your plate tastes so much better than blood.
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After turning that into onion-bread-shards
What?
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Hell, I enjoy nomming on raw broccoli. :p
AMEN. Boiled with a little salt and black pepper is good as well.
Raw = Taste the chlorophyll or whatever that taste is that grass, clover leafs, etc have, raw brocolli has it too! ;) I just blanch mine until they turn vibrant green (boiled to pastel colour is boring). Note that I am not a chef...
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Yeah yeah but calling it blood makes it so much manlier. D:
At least you don't see people eating blood...