Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: An4ximandros on April 01, 2013, 07:36:24 pm
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So my toilet got blocked, by giant pieces of 5#*7 , I kid not. I have spent the last hour trying to fix this &^%$(* and guess what? the last THREE $!*%&)* times I empty the $!$%*%$) toilet, when I pull the cistern's handle in triumph... it fills back up. It's a constant battle to empty the $&(!&$( thing... for to fill back up. So you know what?
(http://i.imgur.com/nojWx.gif)(http://img8.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-****-donald-cartoons-369498.gif)
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You need a plunger dude.
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I AM using a plunger! :Rage:
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It would appear you need some cherry bombs
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Fight bombs with bombs.
Makes perfect sense.
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I flushed five times after shoving it down it's throat. It's not working. So screw it! Washed the plunger and gave up. At least during the interim I aired the house so it won't smell of ****.
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Dish soap and hot water often does the trick.
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i did this to an old lady's toilet once. was there with a church group doing painting/repairs and such. i felt horrible. that was the last time i ever drank apple juice.
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Might want to invest in a $30 or so Toilet Snake or Auger, can get it at your local hardware store. Can get clogs regular plungers sometimes can't.
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There are a variety of over-the-counter commerical products you can buy that help dissolve and break down sewer blockages, be they in sink drains or toilets.
Chances are the blockage is in the toilet itself, not the sewer pipe beneath it. You can snake the line with anything flexible (hell, depending on the toilet you can probably get a bent coat hanger through the neck), or shut off the water supply, drain the tank and the bowl, and unbolt the toilet from the floor. A pair of gloves and something to block the smell will let you extract the blockage from the bottom. Just be careful if you use this trick, there's a wax ring that seals the toilet to the sewer pipe and you DO NOT want it to get damaged.
Or plunge harder :P You realize the bowl should be quite full of water when plunging, right? You need the hydrostatic pressure to dislodge the blockage.
Good luck =)
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Surely the thread title should have been "Everything's ****!!!!" You totally picked the wrong swear word. :p
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this reminds me of the good old bash.org quote. something along the lines of
HELP THE TOILET IS OVERFLOWING THERE'S ALREADY 4 INCHES OF WATER AND CRAP EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
- user quit: excess flood
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulIOrQasR18
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Anyone wonder how big of a **** he took?
Because for some reason that thought just crossed my mind...
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Hmm, let's see... estimating the clogging efficiency of human feces, use reasonable assumptions of the peak hydrostatic pressure when plunging, I conclude it must be... a load of ****. (http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/smilies/emot-v.gif)
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It's fixed. I have no idea what happened. Eventually it just... opened up. I will not complain, so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFpjI75UkSQ
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It's fixed. I have no idea what happened.
Feces and toilet paper are water-soluble, that's what happened :P
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It's fixed. I have no idea what happened. Eventually it just... opened up. I will not complain, so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFpjI75UkSQ
Oh woah. For a few hours, I thought this was the X-Box disc player thread. So yay! It's working again!
And then:
Feces and toilet paper are water-soluble, that's what happened :P
:confused:
:banghead: :lol:
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It's fixed. I have no idea what happened. Eventually it just... opened up. I will not complain, so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFpjI75UkSQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsWL0hM0Cto (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsWL0hM0Cto)
Good job pilot. For your efforts in halting the ****ty advance, you are hereby awarded the Medal of Conspicuous Gallantry.
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Oh god the puns
They're so ****ty
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you need more fiber in your diet.
or more mexican food.
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Oh god the puns
They're so ****ty
not helping.
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Oh? Oh? Blocked toilet is tough? Well let me tell you a little something about my week and then think whether that was bad since I'm pretty sure you need to up the ante! CAUTION: GRAPHICAL IMAGINARY - you have been warned!!!
It all started on Tuesday afternoon after leaving work, I felt a bit of pressure in both the stomach and the lower intestines (good start, eh?). I did my normal shopping and returned back to home. It took maybe ten minutes before I started to feel an irresistible urge to fart and since this is quite a normal thing when you are alone at home, I let it loose. Except, it didn't turn out to be quite what I expected. It is a sort of daunting terror that creeps up your spine when you start to feel warm wetness spreading from your number two. This isn't happening! This can't be happening! But it did, so I managed to **** my pants, luckily two layers of clothing was enough to prevent the stuff from touching the furniture - much.
So, I started to lumber towards the WC like a cross of zombie and a patient with a serious hip injury, head quite forward and arse quite backwards. No serious incidents happened between the three meters between the porcelain throne and my usual computer station, though it took more than 20 seconds to "proceed" there in the above mentioned stance, trying to minimize the possibility of further leakage on the wooden floor which would be a major pain in the arse to remove without water. So there I got, and lowered the pants and took a look on the byproducts of the aforementioned reaction, and saw quite brown wet stuff. At this point I was like ****, a 30 year old person cannot **** his pants, I thought this **** was already over when I turned 5. Not so, said the nature, and Mika sat next twenty minutes on the famous ring to bind them all, listening to the rather curious combined noises and gurglings his intestines and the water splashes did. Interestingly, it appears that today there hasn't been ANY water absoprtion by the urinary tract, and all that stuff came out from the dark side!
Maybe I just ate something that didn't cling right, I thought, as I went directly to the bathroom and put the two layers of underside clothing directly to the washing machine, to remove all evidence of the "leakage" as soon as possible. We can't have this **** going on in an adult household, now can we?
Not so. This all was just a precursor to the worst diarrhea EVAR, which made me go to the toilet something like twenty times on the following night, making the sanitary paper feel like roughened grit sand paper. It became so bad I had to go clean the back side under the shower, with a lot of soap. Yes I did write that down, shower and soap, happy now? Anyways, at the sound of gurgling at a specific point of lower abdomen, I learned that at this point, I had about 20 seconds to get up and to the toilet while at the same time not causing excessive pressure in the stomach area. This had to be done in order to avoid ****ting in the bed, which would have resulted in one expensive furniture investment.
Wednesday turned out worse (can you can imagine this?), not only had I a very aggressive diarrhea, but I was also picking up temperature at a steady state. It grounded me to bed for the rest of the day, all the while it was impossible to eat or drink anything, which made me a bit concerned about the liquid balance of my body. Stomach seemed to have grown a sort of protective layer around it, I expected nothing could get absorbed through it, and the rest of the intestines weren't any better. I couldn't even go to see a doctor, since leaving the WC more than 10 metres away was very risky, and I don't know what would have happened had I get to see a doctor with **** flowing out from both legs of the trousers. So I had to go to bed, fill a canister with water and just hope some of it does NOT get through. I wasn't that lucky, and back to the porcelain throne I went a numerous times, each times wondering what the hell have I done wrong to get my digestive tract turned to Cloaca Maxima. But I can tell you now that there is surprisingly LOT of liquid in the human digestive tract, you just don't know it since most of it is should get absorbed.
However, progressing towards the evening, I started to be more concerned on the liquid balance - especially since the fever was approaching +39 degree levels - I started to hear a specific pop song in my mind which refrain goes like "Now stop sipping and let's start drinking!" (Translation mine, this refers to certain alcoholic tendencies of Finns). I sort of considered that as a hint, and braved the coldness and went to kitchen to boil some water. You know, it's a bit more complicated than just boiling the water, you have to get it in right temperature to allow the body to absorb it as efficiently as possible. Make it too cold, and **** YOU'RE GONNA SHIVER!!! Make it too hot, and you'll sweat for quite a long time so that body can cool it down - thus increasing the risk it would be pushed out before ever getting to the colon where it could get absorbed. The most impressive thing is that this sort of stuff comes to mind at +39 degree fever when you haven't eaten anything for 24 hours!
Surprisingly, that was an improvement, since the warmed juice didn't come out (immediately), and the fever actually started to lower after some hours of VERY careful tossing and turning in the bed. It is a sort of relief to see your urinary tract starting to function after this - that happened on this night and brought a sort of grin to my face. I was able to sleep something like 4 hour blocks, a great improvement of the earlier two hour blocks of the last night. Yesterday, I was finally able to eat something more substantial - at 23.00 hours. But I can now start to see why travellers to Asia are grateful to get dry farts instead of "wet flock of Sparrows" as Madventures put it.
Yes, this story is true, you can't make up **** like this!
So you thought you had a tough couple of hours, eh?
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**** HAPPENS! :D
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I had to clean up puke and **** smeared all over a toilet in the women's bathroom at the restaurant
I win
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Hope you feel better now. Also, go get that **** checked out by a doctor, Mika.
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I'd agree on the doctor thing. That sounded nasty. You have no idea what caused it, so maybe it could happen again. Go get checked out. And you've also saved yourself from having to describe this to the doctor, you just need to copy paste what you wrote, make some minor modifications, print it out, and give it to the doctor.
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someone ate my chili.
the secret ingredient is anything that walked in front of my shotgun, and habanero peppers.
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i just assaulted my GI tract with taco bell, including a volcano taco. earlier was cookout (rather greasy burgers). let's see if i hold out.
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For lunch: ham, provolone, bbq sauce sandwich, and hot salsa and tortilla chips.
For dinner: a pretty big bean and cheese burrito (delicious) with lots of hot sauce.
Tomorrow's going to be fun for everyone around me!
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Sounds like the normal spring fever i used to get up until a few years ago. Sometimes with fevers, your body just pretty much shuts down the intestinal tract as it did with me every time.
Yeah, i knew something was up when i shat 10 minutes after i ate with what looked like puke as opposed to ****. I was like yeah, my body didn't do anything with that. I was very hungry that day, but had to resist the urge to eat while i was already uncomfortable from the temperature i had.
Try a coat hanger for the toilet. 20 plus times to the toilet? A tp clog perhaps. A coat hanger is the figurative stick to break apart with snaking action. It's worth a try to see if it works before any money gets spent on another tool.
Don't feel too bad, it could be worse. And yes, people of all ages **** their pants (i last shat my pants when i was 24; it came out of nowhere with that first step down a flight of stairs (breifs beat boxers any time of the day for cradling containment as opposed to down the leg)). But, what could be worse is like at my ex's place, her sewage drainage pipe going to the septic froze. So flushing until a problem was discovered became bath tubs filling with **** water (and for my ex's bathroom with the stand up shower and 4 inch clearance for water to stay in said shower; overflow and **** river made a slow advance across her floor).
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I can't take a man seriously if he can't admit to ****ting his pants at least once.
"Awww, I took a gamble and lost"
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I can't take anyone seriously when someone denies performing this multiple times in life. Not once, multiple. Not peeing your pants is easier (different for lady's) than judging if a fart is a fart or it's evil non doppelganger counterpart. Everyone ****s (themselves), as well documented here (http://www.poopreport.com).
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Last time I pooped myself was when I had the flu. (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=53623.msg1577905#msg1577905) I woke up with that dreadful feeling, "oh no, I'm gonna puke." Ran to the bathroom, lunged my face into the sink, and proceeded to let loose. Unfortunately, my ass decided that was the perfect time to do the same.
The worst part? I sleep in the nude. That **** went everywhere.
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well if we're counting sharts, then yeah. i've had slightly brown spots in my undies before. but i've yet to full out drop a turd in my pants. it's been a close call a few times though.
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You complain about **** coming out? I lately found out that if you have an intense constipation, your mucous membrane can brake. It didn't happen to me happily.
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i don't even know what that is, but it sounds gross.
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It's horrible, DO NOT GOOGLE IT!
:drevil:
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yeah, wasn't going to.
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Yeah, it's usually just sharting for adults these days with the occasional laying a dry mound in the pants. Little kids on the other hand; they let loose with full on turds all the time in their pants. Adults have more or less mastered the judging and anal control to keep this mess in the intestines until a toilet is found.
I've had two situations with full on ****. They both involved needing to walk a good distance home like 2 or 3 miles. Stuff is normal at first, then gets obvious i need to take a **** eventually, then that i definitely need to take a **** but can hold it and walk faster, confidence is lessening with no toilet nearby until i get to my destination, closer to destination start walking as fast as i can as running would be very bad, about to no longer be able to hold it, getting close to bathroom at home and ****. The first time, i made it all the way home when i was 19, as soon as i got in my apartment, just lost it. The second time was when i was 22, made my first step down stairwell in the lobby to get to the bathrooms and lost it.
Those are my two instances of unintentionally using bathrooms incorrectly (blasting my pants and then heading for the bathroom).
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I've had plenty of sharts over my life, but yeah, I don't think I've ever unintentionally dropped a full-on dook once I passed the age of 4 or so. I don't know if it was an abject refusal to go anywhere near the cesspool that was a high school bathroom stall or what, but my body generally does a good idea of holding off on imminent go-time until there are facilities around. I can really sympathize with whoever mentioned stuff coming out of both ends, because the last thing on your mind when you're puking is sphincter control, but there's actually an easy solution to that provided you're at home: just sit on the john and grab the bathroom trash can (and pray it's not a ****ty wicker basket). That way, if the worst does happen, you're covered on both ends.
Also why are we talking about all of this. :lol:
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this thread makes me giggle.
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I don't know about anyone else, but i think this may be the first time this topic has ever been on hlp.
Either way, great moments of forced humility. I don't see much for anyone to get pissed off over which is what i find perplexing unless someone geysered **** across the room onto the walls and ceilling (ie having to do more than just hop in the shower).