Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: ShadowWolf_IH on December 20, 2013, 08:09:00 pm
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ok Here's the deal. Punch holes in this, and plug others. Yes we are building a plot line.
Base backstory:
Simon Tam and his sister River are no longer a threat to the Alliance. River is, in her words "Ok." With the Alliance no longer hunting them, Simon has returned to medicine, and is very successful. The Academy that worked on River has been shut down, which is to say, the Alliance is no longer willing to fund the program. The students have been turned out into the 'verse. Simon knows full well that most of the students will have problems. His has placed his formidable intellect in a position to help them. His sister, being on of them, is his biggest Ace. She can do more for them than anyone. So, with Simon financing the operation as best he can, the search continues for people who were involved in the same program that did such harm to River.
A few have been found. One in particular who is not psychic, but who is a prodigy, actually had most of her own psyche remain intact during the neural stripping. She was implanted with false memories as a test to see if a covert operative could function after this kind of ordeal. The memories are not false, but are instead the memories of a doctor who was involved with the program, and was attempting to get word out. The doctor fully disagreed with what they were doing, but had decided to fight from the inside. The prodigy has been picked up and is one her way to Simon, however, the Alliance has discovered exactly how special she is, and, after spending a fortune to hide what they were doing at the Academy, does not want word to get out.
Punch holes in this, but do me a favor, if you plug any holes, copy and paste the entirety of the yellow section and post your changes in Red.
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"Through your holes I can see your vanity!"
--Socrates
:D
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What are you wanting us to do? Add on to it and/or change it?
For now, there's a typo. You've got "His sister, being on of them" instead of one.
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Add to, make changes, typos are typos, regrettable but neglectable. Just have some fun with expanding it, and have more fun with punching holes in the base plot and plugging either the ones you punch in it, the ones others punch in it, or both. Just an exercise in imagination.
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Add to, make changes, typos are typos, regrettable but neglectable. Just have some fun with expanding it, and have more fun with punching holes in the base plot and plugging either the ones you punch in it, the ones others punch in it, or both. Just an exercise in imagination.
Right. I'll wait and see if others do anything with it for now.
Any particular reason for this? Did you write it, or copy it from somewhere?
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Simon Tam and his sister River are no longer a threat to the Alliance. River is, in her words "Ok."
How did this happen?
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It's just something I've been thinking about. I didn't copy it from anywhere. As far as them no longer being a threat goes, The Agent says it to Mal at the end of Serenity, the secret of where the Reavers come from is out. River being ok, don't actually know how, but right after she puked on Miranda, as in the planet where the Reavers come from, she looked at Simon and "I'm OK", and repeated it, with wonder in her voice. It was a turning point for the character as far as lucidity goes. After that she understood her surroundings.
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The operative told his superiors that the Tam's were "no longer a threat; damage done", but it's left completely in the air as to whether or not the alliance follows through with this. "They might listen, they might not". Serenity left pretty much everything open for any future story to be told, and I don't see anything wrong with this one other than I'd find it hard to believe the alliance would simply let all the test subjects go freely about the 'verse without at least some form of leash. If they were worried at all about information about the project leaking out (basis of your story), they would not let them go at all.
Honestly, given the ****ed up stuff they were doing, I could believe they just euthanize all the subjects and destroy all evidence they ever existed. But then you would not have a story. :)
I don't have anything really to add, but I think it has great potential and I'm interested to see how it goes.