Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Stryke 9 on July 20, 2002, 06:45:32 pm

Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 20, 2002, 06:45:32 pm: I've found a new idol...:jaw:

http://www.furious-george.net/
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Blue Lion on July 20, 2002, 06:52:06 pm: "The monkey breaks into a software-manual printing house and changes all instances of the words "Start menu" to "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" in Minneapolis, Minnesota"

:wtf:

"The monkey empties an AK-47 into an NRA meeting in Sheboygan, Michigan."

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: saturn114 on July 20, 2002, 06:52:12 pm: weird a band spankin new monkey to mess with
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: vyper on July 20, 2002, 06:54:12 pm: This is brilliant
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 20, 2002, 06:59:18 pm: Quote
Originally posted by vyper
This is brilliant

:nod:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 20, 2002, 07:10:21 pm: The monkey forces an ISP to install Windows NT in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania.

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 20, 2002, 08:01:51 pm: I haven't been able to redo my favorite, tho, which has something to do with selling cookies made of real Girl Scouts..:D

"The monkey makes seventeen prank calls to the fire department before setting a warehouse ablaze in Beloit, Wisconsin.","The monkey replaces road flares with dynamite at a local hardware store in Beloit, Wisconsin."

"The monkey drinks a jar of moonshine, smokes some crack, and commits an act so unspeakably heinous that it cannot be described here in Newark, New Jersey."

- damn, beat out by a simian.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Thorn on July 20, 2002, 08:33:14 pm: "The monkey pushes an elderly man into the path of a speeding ambulance as a protest against irony in Knoxville, Tennessee."
bwahahaha! I love it...
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 20, 2002, 08:38:10 pm: Quote
The monkey drops a cow from a helicopter into a local SPCA meeting in Montgomery, Alabama.

A measly 50 points for THAT???
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheVirtu on July 20, 2002, 09:37:20 pm: The monkey hurls a number of live chickens into the jet engines at a local airport in Greenville, Mississippi.
;7
The monkey vaporizes a busful of nuns with an experimental new laser cannon in Knoxville, Tennessee.
:wtf:
The monkey teaches a classroom of first-graders how to make Molotov cocktails in Henderson, Kentucky.
:devilidea
The monkey uses a blowtorch to super-heat a soup can full of quarters and tosses them into the road for children in Hillsboro, Tennessee.
:D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stealth on July 20, 2002, 10:55:24 pm: lol
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Solid Snake on July 21, 2002, 12:12:49 am: Quote
The monkey releases a horde of killer bees into the ventilation system of a crowded office building in Willow Springs, Illinois.

Quote
A local psychic witnesses the monkey's crime in a vision and convinces the police to issue an arrest warrant.

Quote
The monkey repeatedly requests price checks on items at a local 99-cent store in St. Louis, Missouri.

heh heh. good one.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 21, 2002, 12:22:49 am: Ah, my new favorite: "The monkey plays God by personally "sorting them all out" in Georgetown, Delaware."

Hmm. That's my third high score at this game, and I feel strangely unfulfilled. I guess it's that I don't feel there's a lotta challenge in a two-button game.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheCelestialOne on July 21, 2002, 04:21:07 am: Quote
The monkey changes the address on a building-demolition order in Alliance, Nebraska.

:D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Blue Lion on July 21, 2002, 06:35:45 am: "The monkey takes out a full-page ad in a local newspaper revealing the ingredients of Spam in Boise, Idaho"

Spam? Where?

"The monkey helps an old lady _halfway_ across the street in Hailey, Idaho.

The monkey boasts of his crime to an undercover cop posing as a local drug dealer.
The monkey is now wanted for manslaughter in the state of Idaho."

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheCelestialOne on July 21, 2002, 07:31:05 am: The monkey breaks into a gumball machine in St. Louis, Missouri.

The monkey's crime is witnessed by the leader of a local militia. In an attempt to gain media coverage and local support, he reports the crime and publicly vows that his organization is pro-community, at the disposal of law enforcement, and will not rest until the monkey is brought to justice.
The monkey is now wanted for petty larceny in the state of Missouri.

--------------

The monkey substitutes Ecstasy for Excedrin at a local drugstore in Shreveport, Louisiana.

The monkey is traced through his AOL account. The monkey is now wanted for possession with intent to distribute in the state of Louisiana.

--------------

The monkey drops bowling balls onto the freeway during rush hour traffic in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 21, 2002, 02:13:35 pm: The monkey opens an unlicensed beauty parlor and performs dozens of hideous haircuts in Rifle, Colorado.

Irrefutable DNA evidence places the monkey at the scene of the crime.
The monkey is now wanted for taste violations in the state of Colorado.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The monkey is currently driving a stolen ice cream truck through Colorado.

lol :lol:

Still though, everyone who's someone knows that furious george is the monkey from the simpsons in the knife fight.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Thorn on July 21, 2002, 03:42:02 pm: My new favorite
The monkey performs an unspeakable ritual to awaken the Great Cthulhu, who proceeds to lay waste to several dozen city blocks in Phoenix, Arizona.

[edit] final score..
SCORE: 3413
The monkey is currently wanted for promotion of human misery in California, possession with intent to distribute in Oregon, reckless endangerment in Washington, taste violations in Idaho, taste violations in Utah, vandalism in Arizona, smuggling illegal immigrants in New Mexico, sedition in Texas, and violating liquor laws in Oklahoma.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 21, 2002, 03:56:44 pm: Quote
The monkey admits before a panel of judges that he has a problem, then provides needlessly graphic evidence of that problem in Lafayette, Louisiana.

Been there, done that...
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Martinus on July 21, 2002, 04:09:53 pm: LMAO

Oh God help me I think I'm gonna die laughing.

The monkey rigs numerous Furbys with plastic explosive and donates them to a charity shop in Fremont, Nebraska.

Fantastic. :yes:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 21, 2002, 04:16:43 pm: Heey... where'd all my pretty high scores go? Now I only have one!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 21, 2002, 06:53:23 pm: ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote
The monkey rigs a crosswalk call button to simultaneously turn all of the lights in a six-block radius green in Florence, Alabama.

:wakka:
:wakka:
:wakka:
:wakka:

EDIT:
Quote
The monkey teaches dozens of schoolchildren to build homemade bombs in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Ouch - too close to the truth... :-/

EDIT 2:
Quote
The monkey manages the Chicago Cubs in Chicago, Illinois.

The monkey is now wanted for outstanding failure in the state of Illinois.

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 21, 2002, 06:56:02 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Stryke 9
I haven't been able to redo my favorite, tho, which has something to do with selling cookies made of real Girl Scouts..:D

Got it! :)

Quote
The monkey makes and distributes cookies made out of real Girl Scouts in Shreveport, Louisiana.

EDIT: Final result:

Quote
SCORE: 5244
The monkey is currently wanted for contributing to the delinquency of minors in Florida, littering in Alabama, manslaughter in Tennessee, violating fish and wildlife regulations in Mississippi, violating fair-trade policies in Louisiana, public indecency in Arkansas, felonious assault in Texas, contributing to the delinquency of minors in Oklahoma, libel in New Mexico, contributing to the delinquency of minors in Colorado, promotion of human misery in Nebraska, reckless endangerment in Iowa, outstanding failure in Illinois, and first-degree murder in Missouri.

:D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 22, 2002, 01:52:44 am: "The monkey distributes hundreds of thousands of free AOL CDs in Gladstone, Missouri"

LOL
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: JC Denton on July 22, 2002, 01:56:31 am: Quote
"The monkey plays the blues in a Country and Western bar in Fort Smith, Arkansas."

Quote
"The monkey slips ominous prophecies of doom and destruction into the fortune cookies at a local Chinese restaurant in Jefferson City, Missouri.
:lol:

Quote
"The monkey sneaks a Furby into a federal building in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

The monkey is tracked back to his hideout by a spunky ten-year-old detective name Harold, who subsequently meets a fate too horrible to mention.

The monkey is now wanted for arms smuggling in the state of Wisconsin."
:wakka:

Quote
"The monkey teaches basic math skills to a number of college football players in Faribault, Minnesota."
And how is that subversion? ;7 :lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 22, 2002, 02:35:22 am: i got second
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: JC Denton on July 22, 2002, 11:29:31 pm: And if we Americans remember a few Pace salsa commercials:

Quote
"The monkey eats salsa made in New York City in El Paso, Texas.

The monkey is now wanted for treason in the state of Texas.

The monkey is now riding a stolen circius elephant through New Mexico."
:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: CP5670 on July 23, 2002, 01:49:33 am: This thing is great... :D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Bobboau on July 23, 2002, 02:55:19 am: hi score check it (http://www.furious-george.net/cgi-bin/george/highscore.pl)
:cool: :thepimp: :cool:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Alikchi on July 23, 2002, 03:01:52 am: Quote
Originally posted by sandwich

Ouch - too close to the truth... :-/ (Sandwich is referring to the OKC thing)

I live in a suburb of OKC, Edmond - they basically bleed into each other. I was in first grade, walking to the bathroom, and the hallway shakes. From..I don't know, 15 miles away? Freaked me out.
Plus we get hit by the most tornadoes in the entire world. Go Sooners!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 23, 2002, 03:03:36 am: i had 5000 somethin points on there the other day
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Bobboau on July 23, 2002, 03:19:21 am: :mad: damned sister :mad:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Ace Pace on July 23, 2002, 05:07:09 am: Watch me:p
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 23, 2002, 05:47:15 am: Quote
Originally posted by Bobboau
:mad: damned sister :mad:

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Zeronet on July 23, 2002, 05:51:48 am: This is so funny!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Corhellion on July 23, 2002, 08:39:25 am: Quote
The monkey sets off a heatless pressure bomb in the local dump, showering twelve square miles with rotting garbage in Fort Smith, Arkansas.
:D :lol:

OMG! Just got this one:

Quote
The monkey pushes an elderly man into the path of a speeding ambulance as a protest against irony in Austin, Arkansas. In an effort to throw authorities off his trail, the monkey poses as a ghost in an abandoned amusement park. He would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids. :lol:
The monkey is now wanted for first-degree murder in the state of Arkansas.

300+ points for that one :D ;7 (yay, my first "wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more smilie!)

Must...continue...wicked net game

Cor
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheCelestialOne on July 23, 2002, 09:04:27 am: (http://64.161.49.148/images/canadians.jpg)

I escaped to canada!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheCelestialOne on July 23, 2002, 09:13:10 am: 1). 5129 TCO 70 9 states racketeering Tue Jul 23 07:24:38 2002
2). 4030 TCO 57 8 states reckless endangerment Tue Jul 23 07:04:01 2002

I'm number 1 and 2... And a lot of others as well...
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Mad Bomber on July 23, 2002, 09:19:30 am: Not anymore! :D

#1: Mad Bomber.
Score: 5896
Wanted in 11 states
Specialty: Reckless endangerment
Vehicle of choice: Stolen circus elephant
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Mad Bomber on July 23, 2002, 09:41:26 am: LOL!

The monkey successfully patents life, and then sues God for copyright infringement, in Utah.

The monkey BLATANTLY OVERUSES THE CAPS LOCK KEY AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!! in Wichita, Kansas.

The monkey shoots the local sheriff, but spares his deputy, in Wahoo, Nebraska.

The monkey sells bags of oregano to gullible hippies at a Phish concert in North Carolina.

:D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Ace Pace on July 23, 2002, 10:08:35 am: 3rd Place!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: TheCelestialOne on July 23, 2002, 11:02:57 am: FBI profilers identify the crime as fitting the monkey's psychological pattern. The monkey is now wanted for crimes against God in the state of Colorado.

------------

A passerby captures the monkey's crime on videotape and submits it to 'When Animals Attack.' (Weeknights on Fox at 8, 7 central.) The monkey is now wanted for crimes against God in the state of Oklahoma.

------------

The monkey has something against god me thinks... :D

------------

The monkey opens a hypnosis clinic and convinces dozens of unsuspecting applicants to sign over all of their worldly possessions and humiliate themselves in entertaining ways in Parkersburg, West Virginia.

errrr.... :doubt:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Black Wolf on July 23, 2002, 12:49:49 pm: Has anyone committed an atrocity in Champaign, Illinois yet? :D

---
The monkey is currently wanted for grand larceny in Connecticut, public indecency in Massachusetts, contributing to the delinquency of minors in New York, littering in Vermont, second-degree murder in Pennsylvania, vandalism in Delaware, reckless endangerment in West Virginia, and product tampering in Virginia.
---

The monkey basically owns the American North East :)
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Mad Bomber on July 23, 2002, 01:29:10 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Black Wolf
Has anyone committed an atrocity in Champaign, Illinois yet? :D

I did, but I forgot what it was. :D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: ^Graff on July 23, 2002, 02:33:52 pm: The monkey sells Firestone tires in Glendive, Montana.

The monkey attempts to break the high-body-count record at a local high school in Bridgewater, South Dakota.

The monkey pushes over an outhouse in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

The monkey forces a pilot at gunpoint to perform an impromptu air show during rush hour at a local airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

The monkey starts a 'guns for toys' program at a local community center in Dubuque, Iowa.

The monkey substitutes pork for veal at a bar mitzvah reception in Chicago, Illinois.

The monkey defaces a national monument in Madison, Wisconsin.

The monkey connects a high-voltage power line to a kindergarten playground fence in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The monkey pirates a television signal and re-airs decades of irritating commercials in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

The monkey connects high-voltage wires to an elevator's door-close button in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

The monkey taunts local police by phoning the station and confessing.
The monkey is now wanted for reckless endangerment in the state of Wisconsin.

The monkey releases a horde of gypsy moths in Burnsville, Minnesota, throwing the local ecosystem into chaos.

The monkey violently attacks an autograph seeker in Faribault, Minnesota.

The monkey constructs a pentagram made of roadkill on the lawn of a local branch of the Church of Scientology in Rochester, Minnesota.

Irrefutable DNA evidence places the monkey at the scene of the crime.
The monkey is now wanted for harassment in the state of Minnesota.

The monkey sneaks into a church confessional, poses as a priest and writes a best-selling book publishing his findings in Rochester, Minnesota.

The monkey gets extra points for committing a crime in a high-risk state.

The monkey empties several drums of used motor oil into a protected creek in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

The monkey gets extra points for committing a crime in a high-risk state.

The monkey replaces the laughing gas with nerve gas at a dentist's office in Lincoln, Nebraska.

The monkey bites a hand that feeds him in St. Louis, Missouri.

The monkey spreads apathy among the electorate in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

The monkey pirates a television signal and re-airs decades of irritating commercials in Red Bank, Tennessee.

The monkey greases the rails at a local bull-riding competition in Red Bank, Tennessee.

Irrefutable DNA evidence places the monkey at the scene of the crime.
The monkey is now wanted for reckless endangerment in the state of Tennessee.

The monkey burns down an orphanage in Memphis, Tennessee.

The monkey gets extra points for committing a crime in a high-risk state.

The monkey has lingered too long in this state.
A heavily armed SWAT contingent bursts into his hideout.

Game Over.

Your final score is 1634, painstakingly earned through 22 flagrant violations of U.S. law.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: ^Graff on July 23, 2002, 02:52:50 pm: I got one for Champaign:

The monkey is awarded the prestigious Pimp of the Year award in Champaign, Illinois.

The monkey opens an illegal food co-op in Champaign, Illinois.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Hippo on July 24, 2002, 08:34:27 am: "The monkey filled the endzones of 3 local football fields with anti presonel mines." :D :D :D :p :p
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 24, 2002, 09:18:36 am: Graff: Lists of ALL THE CRIMES IN THE GAME aren't particularly funny- for that we can play it. We're doing fairly unusual ones.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Tiara on July 24, 2002, 09:20:01 am: You guys are strange...

:doubt:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 24, 2002, 11:48:56 am: Quote
Originally posted by Tiara
You guys are strange...

:doubt:

LOL! I was gonna post something witty, but I lost it when I hit quote and saw all the tags you're using... :lol: :lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 24, 2002, 11:50:16 am: Quote
Originally posted by Tiara

... How long does a sentence take you to post?
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: CP5670 on July 24, 2002, 01:01:56 pm: At least it would be shorter than it takes for me to type math expressions. :p :D

₂F₁ ( a b c | 1 ) = [ G(c)G(c-b-a) ] / [ G(c-a)G(c-b) ]

:D ;7
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 24, 2002, 01:16:23 pm: ₂[size=3][b]F[/b][/size]₁ ( a b c | 1 ) = [ [font=symbol][size=3]G[/size][/font](c)[font=symbol][size=3]G[/size][/font](c-b-a) ] / [ [font=symbol][size=3]G[/size][/font](c-a)[font=symbol][size=3]G[/size][/font](c-b) ][/B]

Holy Crap!!
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: ^Graff on July 24, 2002, 02:01:08 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Stryke 9
Graff: Lists of ALL THE CRIMES IN THE GAME aren't particularly funny- for that we can play it. We're doing fairly unusual ones.
Sorry. I was sleepy, and I wasn't thinking.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 24, 2002, 03:16:18 pm: 'S all right. I was just vaguely worried that this tread would start becoming one of page-long lists.:D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Mad Bomber on July 24, 2002, 03:21:57 pm: LOL

The monkey inadvertently awakens a horde of ravenous flesh-eating zombies in Green River, Wyoming.

score: 7307
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Hippo on July 24, 2002, 07:46:22 pm: The monkey rearranges dozens of traffic cones into various interesting configurations that have nothing to do with road work in Mt. Vernon, Ohio.

He He... ;7
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: ^Graff on July 25, 2002, 01:38:30 pm: My favorite:

The monkey reprograms thousands of phones in an office building to continually forward calls to each other in an endless loop.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 25, 2002, 03:49:13 pm: The monkey swindles a Savings & Loan in Champaign, Illinois.

FBI profilers identify the crime as fitting the monkey's psychological pattern.
The monkey is now wanted for racketeering in the state of Illinois.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Knight Templar on July 25, 2002, 03:53:42 pm: sry i thought this one is particularly funny.
__________________________________________________
The monkey drugs a businessman, drives him to a hotel, steals one of his kidneys and leaves him in a bathtub full of ice in Atchison, Kansas.
__________________________________________________

:lol:
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: CP5670 on July 25, 2002, 07:56:07 pm: Quote
Holy Crap!!

Actually this is pretty good compared to some others, which go on for over a page to display half a line of math; you should see some of the older posts I have written containing math stuff. :D
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Tiara on July 26, 2002, 01:11:38 am: ...again...

[glow=red] You guys are strange... [/I] [/glow]
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Stryke 9 on July 26, 2002, 01:22:27 am: CP even scares us. Don't mind him.
Title: OT: Whee!
Post by: Sandwich on July 26, 2002, 05:24:21 am: Quote
Originally posted by Tiara
...again...

[glow=red] You guys are strange... [/I] [/glow]

You expected what, exactly? Hmmm? ;)

Completely off-topic... I'd really appreciate it if y'all just hopped on over to this (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,8909.0.html) thread and voted/criticized your lil' hearts out - I was kinda hoping to get more than 4 responses... :doubt: I just didn't feel right in bumping it... yet. Many thanks. :nod: