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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sandwich on September 30, 2015, 10:53:13 am

Title: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Sandwich on September 30, 2015, 10:53:13 am
Been meaning to post this poll for ages. :p

Assume 2-ply sheets of the standard nearly-square size, not those odd public restroom golden rectangles.

Also, if your first wipe is different from the rest (mine is... :nervous:), just answer for the rest, not the first. :p
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: karajorma on September 30, 2015, 11:07:24 am
"Fasten, Zip! You wanna talk socks?"
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: z64555 on September 30, 2015, 11:58:14 am
Pisses me off every time I'm in the public bathroom and I hear somebody pulling out yards of TP. Every. Single. Time.  :banghead:
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: mjn.mixael on September 30, 2015, 12:20:42 pm
This poll is best poll.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Damage on September 30, 2015, 01:11:24 pm
"Fasten, Zip! You wanna talk socks?"

"I'm not having this conversation!"
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: zookeeper on September 30, 2015, 01:58:02 pm
This poll is dumb. Obviously it varies a lot.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Rodo on September 30, 2015, 06:15:19 pm
hahahahah.

let me see... I think mostly 2.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Mongoose on September 30, 2015, 07:52:16 pm
Has to be at least 6 if I was counting.  I need as much waddage between my hand and the danger zone as possible.

(Also how in the year 2015 have we not figured out a better solution to this issue than wiping our asses with cheap paper.  Bidets don't count.)
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: karajorma on September 30, 2015, 08:47:24 pm
"Fasten, Zip! You wanna talk socks?"

"I'm not having this conversation!"

Glad someone got the reference.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: z64555 on September 30, 2015, 11:56:03 pm
(Also how in the year 2015 have we not figured out a better solution to this issue than wiping our asses with cheap paper.  Bidets don't count.)

One time I was eating a different diet and didn't have to wipe, just a clean, residue-less deposit.

 If only I could remember what that diet was I could save hundreds on TP each year.  :banghead:
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: swashmebuckle on October 01, 2015, 12:04:25 am
He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 01, 2015, 12:45:37 am
What fascinates me is it implies people use paper to wipe Number 1.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: karajorma on October 01, 2015, 01:53:07 am
I assume some women do.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Klaustrophobia on October 01, 2015, 01:59:59 am
Pisses me off every time I'm in the public bathroom and I hear somebody pulling out yards of TP. Every. Single. Time.  :banghead:

I do this because with commercial grade TP you need to double up, sometimes even quadruple (navy issue TP is thinner than those tissue paper party streamer things).
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: zookeeper on October 01, 2015, 03:33:57 am
What fascinates me is it implies people use paper to wipe Number 1.

I think it's much more fascinating why some people would find that fascinating! Man or woman, I think it's obvious that without paper, it's anatomically almost impossible to get a result quite as good as with paper, even if one personally finds the difference small enough to not be worth the effort.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: watsisname on October 01, 2015, 03:39:45 am
I don't poop.  Pooping is gross.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: watsisname on October 01, 2015, 03:40:22 am
But I voted 4 anyway.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Sandwich on October 01, 2015, 04:08:45 am
What fascinates me is it implies people use paper to wipe Number 1.

I think it's much more fascinating why some people would find that fascinating! Man or woman, I think it's obvious that without paper, it's anatomically almost impossible to get a result quite as good as with paper, even if one personally finds the difference small enough to not be worth the effort.

Indeed. I use a single square for number 1. Also, shaking it off just gets droplets everywhere. Don't do that. Squeeze the pee out from as far back as you care to go, wipe with a square, and viola! - no more yellow stainage in your underwear/boxers/drawers/whatever.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Boomer20 on October 01, 2015, 04:25:25 am
This must be the most important question in the universe, I'm sure of it.

My only advice to all you poopers out there, don't skimp on toilet paper, good stuff is vital, removes danger of contamination and chaff-age.  :yes:
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 01, 2015, 04:43:49 am
I think it's much more fascinating why some people would find that fascinating! Man or woman, I think it's obvious that without paper, it's anatomically almost impossible to get a result quite as good as with paper, even if one personally finds the difference small enough to not be worth the effort.

No, it's more of a comfort issue, actually. TP isn't tissue paper for your nose and is a little rough to be applying to sensitive bodyparts in the experience of those I've consulted. (I can't say I've ever had the yellow stain problem Sand describes, personally, or much need to wave it about to get the last bit out.)
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: swashmebuckle on October 01, 2015, 03:18:50 pm
Yes and how many miles must a man flush down, when measured in squares of TP?
Yes and how many times will the drain circle round, before they are washed to the sea?
Yes and how many trees will his dick bring aground, before he can set his mind free?

The answer my friend, is pee into the wind.
The answer is pee into the wind.

-Bob Dylan
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 01, 2015, 08:14:03 pm
It's at moments like this I'm sad I can't plus one posts here.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Scourge of Ages on October 03, 2015, 01:17:39 pm
For 2-ply? I take 5 squares, and double it over twice. This gives me slightly more than one square in length, and enough thickness to protect myself.
And I do wipe #1, because I don't want soggy shorts.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: z64555 on October 03, 2015, 10:51:45 pm
Eh, I try not to waste TP if I know I have a good source of hand soap nearby. It's not like I'm wiping a strange bum that only God knows where it's been and what its owner has ate.  :lol:

My only problems that would dictate more TP is a sweaty bum, liquid stool (yuck.), or a questionable supply of hand soap.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Sandwich on October 05, 2015, 06:52:48 pm
Eh, I try not to waste TP if I know I have a good source of hand soap nearby. It's not like I'm wiping a strange bum that only God knows where it's been and what its owner has ate.  :lol:

My only problems that would dictate more TP is a sweaty bum, liquid stool (yuck.), or a questionable supply of hand soap.


 :wtf: :ick: :nono:
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: mjn.mixael on October 05, 2015, 07:12:35 pm
At one time, I would have agreed more with Sandwhich on that one, Z64555... but now I have two young kids and stray poop is kinda just part of my life currently. Thank heavens for soap. Lots of soap. And really hot water.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Damage on October 05, 2015, 07:39:55 pm
I usually hate to admit something like this to total strangers, but while I prefer to use "enough to get the job done" my most common response to the situation is just to get back in the shower and go over the area gain, because it's invariably just after I get OUT of the shower that this happens.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Klaustrophobia on October 05, 2015, 08:13:51 pm
That's why pooping is a pre-shower ritual for me.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Mongoose on October 05, 2015, 09:54:06 pm
There's a reason it's "****, shower, and shave," and not the other way around. :p
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: deathfun on October 06, 2015, 07:11:26 am
I get enemas
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: 666maslo666 on October 06, 2015, 10:44:02 am
I like to use wet toilet paper if there is a source of water within reach. But wet toilet paper is so fragile, I need at least six layers of paper for this advanced ass wiping technique, instead of my usual three..
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Sandwich on October 06, 2015, 04:46:09 pm
I like to use wet toilet paper if there is a source of water within reach. But wet toilet paper is so fragile, I need at least six layers of paper for this advanced ass wiping technique, instead of my usual three..

I occasionally use wet toilet paper as well, but usually only if I took a really good book in there with me and ended up sitting there for an hour while the poo dried on there... in those cases, wet TP is the only way to go (unless you have kids and want to smell like wet wipes, ofc).
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Damage on October 06, 2015, 05:29:24 pm
For me it's just a weird thing.  I don't feel a need, so I go clean up, then somehow or other the muscles just relax and it's time.

And wet wipes are great.  You don't have to resort to pre-dipping an already-fragile product for that moisturizing feeling.  Some of these are even flushable, though results vary as to how much they'll clog up your drainage line.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Klaustrophobia on October 06, 2015, 10:48:25 pm
Never tried wet paper.  I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I'm having a bad day on the toilet.  Although I suspect the integrity will be an issue with mine, it's pretty damn soft already.  It peels off and makes those nice butt crumbs.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Colonol Dekker on October 07, 2015, 01:28:19 am
Leona Huxley helps me use three seashells...
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Sandwich on October 08, 2015, 03:46:59 pm
Leona Huxley helps me use three seashells...

I'll just leave this here (http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur'an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Toilet_Etiquette#Clean_yourself_with_an_odd_number_of_stones)...
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Mongoose on October 08, 2015, 06:35:03 pm
Owwwwwwwwww.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: z64555 on October 08, 2015, 07:51:31 pm
I'm assuming they mean something like a river rock, there.
Title: Re: How many TP squares do you use per wipe?
Post by: Colonol Dekker on October 09, 2015, 03:17:08 pm
Salaam alaykum