Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: saturn114 on August 06, 2002, 10:47:07 am

Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: saturn114 on August 06, 2002, 10:47:07 am
well i was working a  on cool story it was about guys hangin out on the patio
talking havign fun and saying crap
and guess what
i lost it
mycomputer crashed
arrrghh
welll the orginal reason to post a thread was  to  get some jokes for my story

so post you r funny   jokes here

anyways in other stuff
finding staff is pretty hard and i came  two new designs for my
site

i  guess thats it.......

Saturn_m
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Unknown Target on August 06, 2002, 10:51:12 am
What kinds of jokes? What kind of story?


EDIT: W00t!!! 1002 posts!
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Kellan on August 06, 2002, 11:52:19 am
Methinks if it's just guys talking you need some, er, crude jokes. :)
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: TheVirtu on August 06, 2002, 12:04:32 pm
Watching him type is a joke in itself.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Kellan on August 06, 2002, 12:10:58 pm
Quote
Originally posted by TheVirtu
Watching him type is a joke in itself.


Ouch. :o

Call your dogs off, Virtu; that's enough. :D
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: TheVirtu on August 06, 2002, 12:26:57 pm
Muhahahahah.

Some admin is going to put the smackdown on me any moment now
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 06, 2002, 01:14:18 pm
Quote
Originally posted by TheVirtu
Muhahahahah.

Some admin is going to put the smackdown on me any moment now


...And you would quite deserve it. There are 2 ways to go about telling someone that their post is near-incomprehensible, or that their grammar sucks, or that paragraphs are A1-SUPAR. The way you chose is the Wrong Way™. Laugh with people, not at them. It's a good rule of thumb ( :yes: ) for life in general, not just forums.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Styxx on August 06, 2002, 01:17:16 pm
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich
Laugh with people, not at them. It's a good rule of thumb for life in general, not just forums.


Exactly. :)
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Thorn on August 06, 2002, 01:30:51 pm
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich
Laugh with people, not at them. It's a good rule of thumb ( :yes: ) for life in general, not just forums.

In most cases, but there are exceptions......
This isnt one of those exceptions though...
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: TheVirtu on August 06, 2002, 02:31:27 pm
*whimpers and runs off*
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Styxx on August 06, 2002, 02:48:16 pm
Quote
Originally posted by TheVirtu
*whimpers and runs off*


Okay, I'll tell you what: you can laugh at CP. Is that okay? :D
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: CP5670 on August 06, 2002, 03:06:20 pm
So says the one who posts "exactly" about four posts ago... :p :D

I don't care about bad spelling/grammar on forums as long as it is comprehensible. There were one or two exceptions over at the VBB where nobody could understand what the guys were trying to say, but that is pretty rare.

Quote
and guess what
i lost it
mycomputer crashed
arrrghh


Yea, writing something really long (especially HLP posts :D) and having the program crash or something at the last moment is extremely frustrating. :p
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Shrike on August 06, 2002, 03:07:10 pm
Quote
Originally posted by TheVirtu
Watching him type is a joke in itself.
Be nice.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Martinus on August 06, 2002, 03:55:53 pm
A bear is walking through the jungle when he is approached by a monkey. The monkey asks him "have you seen my four pointed tool?" to which the bear replys "no, I didn't even think monkeys used tools".

The monkey continues and meets an elephant, again he asks "Have you seen my four pointed tool? I dropped it in this area yesterday." the elephant has no idea and suggests the monkey ask someone else.

The monkey sees a jaguar high in a tree and asks him "have you seen my four pointed tool?". The Jaguar says "Why yes I have, I ate it this morning." The monkey gasps and asks why he ate it. "Because I'm a four point tool eater jaguar".


Lets see who doesn't get the punchline. :D
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 06, 2002, 04:01:35 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor
Lets see who doesn't get the punchline. :D



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:lol: :wakka: :lol:

;)
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Dark_4ce on August 06, 2002, 04:06:58 pm
Ha Ha Ha... :p

Anyway, heres a rathet naughty one... ;7

The Veterinarian's Revenge


One hot July day, we found this old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight, starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny
and hair all matted down.

We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her  to the
veterinarian. She had no name, so we decided to just name
her Pussy Cat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so,
and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.

My husband, the complaining type, said to the vet, "OK,
but don't forget to wash her, she stinks." My husband and
my vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my hubby "El-Cheap-O",
and my hubby calls him "El-take O".

The next day, hubby had an appointment with his doctor, who
is located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of  
people waiting to see the doctor (many of our friends and
neighbours).
 
The door opened and in popped the vet with a grin on his face,
and announces to my hubby, "Your wife's pussy is finally shaved
and clean. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think
she is pregnant. God only knows who the father is!", and then
he closed the door.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: vyper on August 06, 2002, 04:08:40 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor
A bear is walking through the jungle when he is approached by a monkey. The monkey asks him "have you seen my four pointed tool?" to which the bear replys "no, I didn't even think monkeys used tools".

The monkey continues and meets an elephant, again he asks "Have you seen my four pointed tool? I dropped it in this area yesterday." the elephant has no idea and suggests the monkey ask someone else.

The monkey sees a jaguar high in a tree and asks him "have you seen my four pointed tool?". The Jaguar says "Why yes I have, I ate it this morning." The monkey gasps and asks why he ate it. "Because I'm a four point tool eater jaguar".


Lets see who doesn't get the punchline. :D



:lol:
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: an0n on August 06, 2002, 04:14:48 pm
Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the parrot
Why did the tree fall over?
Because it thought it was a game.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 06, 2002, 04:19:40 pm
Quote
Originally posted by an0n
Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the parrot
Why did the tree fall over?
Because it thought it was a game.


I've heard a different veresion to that one:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey-see, monkey-do.

Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure. :D
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Martinus on August 06, 2002, 04:27:34 pm
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Dark_4ce on August 06, 2002, 04:33:57 pm
Or the one about the dyslexic cultist worshipping Santa?
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Martinus on August 06, 2002, 04:38:38 pm
DNA - The National Dyslexic Association...
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 06, 2002, 07:28:10 pm
How about the agnostic dyslexic amnesiac who stayed up all night pondering the existence of Dog? :lol:
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Martinus on August 06, 2002, 07:40:41 pm
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich
How about the agnostic dyslexic amnesiac who stayed up all night pondering the existence of Dog? :lol:


Oh yes! As dyslexic jokes go that's pretty inventive. :lol:


Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?".
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 06, 2002, 07:52:11 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor


Oh yes! As dyslexic jokes go that's pretty inventive. :lol:


Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?".


Hmmm, how do I depict a near-violent groan?

Oh, I know!


GROAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Stryke 9 on August 06, 2002, 08:02:12 pm
[deleted]
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Martinus on August 06, 2002, 08:04:01 pm
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich


Hmmm, how do I depict a near-violent groan?

Oh, I know!


GROAN!!!!!!!!!!!


Heheheheh :D

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.


Ooooo I got hundreds of these :drevil:
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Sandwich on August 07, 2002, 05:49:14 am
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor


Heheheheh :D

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.


Ooooo I got hundreds of these :drevil:


Oh, yes, YES!!! :lol: :lol: Keep 'em flowing!

Did you hear the one about the paranoid dyslexic. He kept on saying "I think I'm following somebody..."
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Dark_4ce on August 07, 2002, 06:08:17 am
Ever heard the one about the dyslexic president.... Oh wait, thats Bush...


*runs.*
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Stryke 9 on August 07, 2002, 06:42:48 am
Dyslexia and being illiterate are two very different things...
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Stunaep on August 07, 2002, 07:13:54 am
Quote
Originally posted by Dark_4ce
Ever heard the one about the dyslexic president.... Oh wait, thats Bush...


*runs.*

No, no don't run. Actually, if you yelled something like that in a balloon above the white Hose, I'm sure I could organize you a medal of honour.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Dark_4ce on August 07, 2002, 07:34:27 am
Quote
Originally posted by Stunaep


No, no don't run. Actually, if you yelled something like that in a balloon above the white Hose, I'm sure I could organize you a medal of honour.


:D

*Calls up Richard Branson to borrow a balloon...*
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: saturn114 on August 07, 2002, 08:58:25 am
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich


...And you would quite deserve it. There are 2 ways to go about telling someone that their post is near-incomprehensible, or that their grammar sucks, or that paragraphs are A1-SUPAR. The way you chose is the Wrong Way™. Laugh with people, not at them. It's a good rule of thumb ( :yes: ) for life in general, not just forums.


really?
is  myy grammar that bad?
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: saturn114 on August 07, 2002, 09:01:42 am
wow look at me  i created a tell a story thread
 lameo
:D

thanks for  posting all those  jokes
i got a idea lets  all zany and  post somthin about adrml bosch and his shivan buddy carl


one day carl was dressing into a space suit and bosch was outside chillin smoking his space crack when....
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Kellan on August 07, 2002, 09:09:24 am
....this thread got locked? :rolleyes: ;)
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Stryke 9 on August 07, 2002, 09:12:57 am
...I smacked you across the face with the Dead Frozen Goat of Justice for putting this garbage on my turf?

Take this as a lesson, kids; Don't smoke crack and post.
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Dark_4ce on August 07, 2002, 12:33:29 pm
Can we smoke crack?... UHH... I mean post?... ;)
Title: hey guys guess what happened?
Post by: Styxx on August 07, 2002, 12:49:22 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Kellan
....this thread got locked? :rolleyes: ;)


Bingo!