Hard Light Productions Forums

Community Projects => The FreeSpace Upgrade Project => Topic started by: mjn.mixael on August 03, 2020, 02:48:02 pm

Title: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 03, 2020, 02:48:02 pm
The Colossus cutscene has a lot of text and graphics. It's quite a bit overwhelming how many individual animations/blocks of text/graphics are needed for this cutscene. :v: Was working at the incredible resolution of 640x320, so they were able to Lorem Ipsum almost all of it. However at 1080p, I can't get away with that.

So... let's do what we did with some of the early FS2 cbanim remakes and crowdsource it. Everyone take a little chunk to create and have fun with. Lore text and technobabble is good. Easter Eggs and HLP jokes/references are encouraged mandatory. (A little bit of both actually. It works better if people stumble upon the jokes unexpectedly.  :) ) Graphs or other static elements on blueprints don't need to be exactly like the original.. draw something that looks similar and it'll be just fine. Bonus points for labels that might make some kind of sci-fi sense.

Be sure to post what piece you are working so we don't duplicate effort.

Here's what I need....

Blueprints. Do not include the background grid because I'll add that later so they match. Please also stick with white graphics/text. I'll color match everything to blue later on. These need to be 1920x1080 PNG images with transparent background. I have provided hi-res renders of the Colossus wireframe to start.

Front
(https://i.imgur.com/TER8ueW.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/FiJ1I7l.png)
Left Side
(https://i.imgur.com/LirJz7T.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/lsvV3Tl.png)
Top
(https://i.imgur.com/fa3Gghp.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/ui9qK2T.png)
Perspective
(https://i.imgur.com/FxUZrDX.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/xg91fgW.png)
Right Side
(https://i.imgur.com/QBFWuuT.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/VsiEips.png)

Walls of Text. For these, you don't need to submit a graphic.. just a text file with paragraphs of text that will fit in the areas circled in red. I recommend watching the cutscene to get ideas of what the text should be focused on. See the above rules regarding Easter Eggs and HLP Jokes/References.

Generic 1
(https://i.imgur.com/86lOgex.jpg)
Generic 2
(https://i.imgur.com/fCELPRx.jpg)
Beam Weapons
(https://i.imgur.com/Xz5GuH0.jpg)
Crew Descriptions
(https://i.imgur.com/RaSnMvb.jpg)
Laser Turrets
(https://i.imgur.com/pvdTBtc.jpg)
Missile Batteries
(https://i.imgur.com/YSPJv8r.jpg)
Squadron compliment. Math is cool.
(https://i.imgur.com/cE1xzhV.jpg)
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 03, 2020, 02:58:26 pm
I forgot to add this...

Put your name visibly somewhere in the text or image you create. Immortalize yourself as someone who is awesome and helped complete this project.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Ertanax on August 03, 2020, 03:27:33 pm
I'm in for the technobabble.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: DefCynodont119 on August 03, 2020, 04:04:44 pm
Can I submit text here?

Description: For the number and placement of beam cannons (anywhere it can can fit)

Hidden Text: Show
Quote
“Unlike the Hades's flux cannons which were adapted from shivan components, modern beam cannons require large internal housings, and cannot be mounted on rotating turrets, so in order to allow full offensive coverage, the Colossus will possess a large number of beam cannons along it's entire flank, this makes the Colossus impossible to escape, and no recall or intervention can work against it! It's the Colossus! How could you destroy the Colossus? What a grand and intoxicating innocence! How could you be so naive!? Come and lay down your weapons, it is not to late for the GTVA's mercy.”
-DefCynodont119


Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Colt on August 03, 2020, 04:19:17 pm
I call dibs on the right section of "Generic 1" :P

So far I have text for the top and bottom thirds...

Top third:
Hidden Text: Show
Blueprints

In an effort to save space at GTVA anchorages, proposals have been put forth for the neck section to be retractable into the main body of the Colossus.

Middle third
Hidden Text: Show
Power statistics

The GTVA Colossus is powered by numerous next-generation Vasudan reactors, allowing it to meet any challenge put before it. However, In the event of a catastrophe, the Colossus will explode very nicely.

Bottom third:
Hidden Text: Show
Alternative uses

With the enthusiastic backing of Admiral Colt, Admiral R. B. Bhat has suggested the Colossus instead be utilized for direct physical attacks against hostile warships rather then being a ranged platform, noting both its size and phenomenal speed when turning. Coincidently, Admiral Bhat was formerly a professional player for the Vasudan Baseball League (VBL).
EDIT: Main text done. Now to come up with something for the smaller texts to the sides of the main ones...
EDIT2: Alright, got some text for the sides!

Top third 4 boxes text:
Hidden Text: Show
While Alliance Admirals have protested these proposals as they may affect combat readiness of the ships in the event of conflict, leaked concept art of neck-less Colossi have led many in the general public to call it "cute".

Middle third side text:
Hidden Text: Show
Vasudan reactors only have a thirty-day return policy. It is thus inadvisable to either damage or destroy these reactors after thirty days.

Bottom third side text:
Hidden Text: Show
In theory, an array of spinning Colossi positioned around a jump node could whack any intruders back from whence they came. This tactic will require further study to determine if it is a worthwhile approach.


Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 03, 2020, 04:27:16 pm
I'm in for the technobabble.

I'd like to get in on the technobabble too, even if I'm not very good at it. In fact, this is the reason I've decided to leave the editing of the tech descriptions of Exile's weapons for last. Basically, I dunno if I can write plausible technobabble, but I can recognize when technobabble is obvious bullsh!t. Case in point: I still haven't forgiven George Lucas for giving us the "hydrospanner" tool. A technobabble tool that means "waterspanner?" Really, George? At least the Kessel Run in "less than 12 parsecs" was more forgivable! (Not to mention that we got a movie starring Emilia Clarke as a Star Wars femme fatale out of that!)

Is there any way to read those text blurbs/increase their resolution so we can decipher them?

And I'll at least take on the Squadron Complement/Math Is Cool blurb since I've done previous work (https://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=89786.0) on that. (https://wiki.hard-light.net/index.php/Capital_Ship_Fighter_Complements)

EDIT: Is there any way to freeze the cutscene in place so that we can study particular frames, like with Vpviewer or something? It's a royal PITA to try to decipher a blurb of text that's only on the screen for half a second out of a 3 minute cutscene.  :rolleyes:

EDIT 2: I'm a dumbass, I just realized I can just go to YouTube and watch and pause the Colossus cutscene there.

Now I have to contribute to the new Colossus cutscene, if only to make my own tribute to Kurtwood Smith, who both voiced this cutscene and memorably played Red in "That 70s Show."

"Computer, how do you say 'dumbass' in Vasudan?"

EDIT 3: Ok, taking my first look at this, it looks like the text blocks in both Fighter Complements and Crew Descriptions are the same paragraph starting with "Math is cool" repeated over and over. I'm of half a mind to just go Monty Python on this and just do my own Freespace-ish version of the "Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I might even throw in some Robocop and "That 70s Show" references in homage to Kurtwood Smith. Hell, I never saw "That 70s Show" but I did see Robocop and that one Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode "Things Past" that Smith was in. And I can look up Red and "That 70s Show" in TV Tropes for material.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna have fun with this. :drevil: :drevil: :drevil:

So, to reiterate, my chosen assignment(s) are 1) Fighter Complement (definitely) and 2) Crew Descriptions (maybe). Assistance/suggestions with the latter would be helpful/welcome, so PM me if you got any.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 03, 2020, 05:49:17 pm
My first attempt on Crew Descriptions:
Hidden Text: Show
Quote
“Math is cool. But Kurtwood Smith, who voices this cutscene, is cooler by far. He’s so awesome he was in both the first Robocop film and That 70s Show. Computer, how do you say “dumbass” in Vasudan? If Kurtwood Smith had been a pilot in the GTVA, the Shivans would never have gotten to Capella, because Kurtwood Smith would have shoved his foot up the Shivans’ collective asses. "Ooh, guns guns guuuuuns! Come on, Shivans! The 99th Skulls are playing...tonight! And I never miss a game!" I’ll tell ya, the Universe is a tough place. Let down your guard for one moment and the Shivans will kick you right in the ass.


For my next attempt, I'll make an extended text with gems from here (http://).

...I can't tell if I'm taking this too seriously or not seriously enough. :nervous:
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Nyctaeus on August 03, 2020, 06:49:43 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/ODKtxEA.png)
http://www.mediafire.com/file/4n4p4xs2vp32s2u/NyctiYards.svgz/file

I just leave it here
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 03, 2020, 11:19:27 pm
SNIP

I just leave it here

You jumped the gun on this. standby...

Let's keep this thread dedicated to crowdsourcing all the huge amounts of text.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on August 04, 2020, 01:23:33 am
Squadron complement blurb - after looking at the cutscene, I've typed out something that should fit without scrolling:

Hidden Text: Show
The Colossus's hangar is nicknamed the "Hangar of HLP 0wnage" by pilots because it was specially designed by Holt Atmospheric Systems, with inputs from the Akheton Corporation, to fit 240 ships within an area that is only slightly larger than 9 Argo-class transports arranged in a 3x3 formation, while still being able to launch multiple ships quickly in the event of a hull breach.

In case you need a longer version, here's the original text I came up with when I first posted this message:

Hidden Text: Show
The Colossus's hangar uses a special compartmentalisation method, engineered by Holt Atmospheric Systems with inputs from the Akheton Corporation, to house its entire complement of 240 fighters and bombers within an area that is only slightly larger than 9 Argo-class transports arranged in a 3x3 formation. The hangar makes extensive use of hydraulic arms, gravity elevators, and the most advanced collision detection systems currently available to maximise the use of available space. Despite its boxy profile, the hangar actually employs a modular design similar to that seen on the GTM Hippocrates - in the event of a hull breach, sections of the hangar can be sealed off to prevent atmospheric bleed, while still allowing the Colossus to continue launching its fighter complement. The technology used in constructing the hangar, the sheer number of ships housed within such a relatively small space, and the hangar's impressive launch capability, have led pilots to dub it the "Hangar of HLP 0wnage (https://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=9)", with the letters standing for "Holt's Logistical Parking".

Reference is linked in the original.

By the way, do we use American or British spelling (above uses British)?
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Asteroth on August 04, 2020, 01:55:01 am
For the missile screen, counterclockwise, from bottom left to bottom right to top right

blurb under the little ani
Hidden Text: Show
The Colossus mounts a variety of missile weapon systems, including a variant of the fighter-mounted MX-52 heat seeking missile and 'Piranha' area denial swarm missile. These allow for unrivaled fighter and bomber defense, although budget cuts prevented the use of aspect-seeking missiles which have existed for at least 32 years by this point, seriously the Colossus can't afford a harpoon or two?

tall blurb under "specifics"
Hidden Text: Show
The MX-52 heat-seeking missile is an 8th generation anti-fighter missile, which while originally designed to be mounted on fighters found considerable usefulness even when mounted on capital ships.

Despite the relative age of the missile design it is cheap to produce, easy to procure, highly compatible with standard mounting set-ups and easily and quickly reloadable, while retaining sufficient firepower to form a credible threat.

The piranha is a much newer missile design, that fills in the gaps left by the MX-52  and other anti-fighter armaments. It was important that the colossus be able to fend off large clusters of fightercraft which the piranha handles ably.

The wide dispersion of heat-seeking missiles ensures that targets cannot maintain their safety even when obscured.

Used variants include:
XLL-14 'Piranha'
XLL-15a 'Piranha'
XLL-15b 'Piranha'
XLL-16v 'Piranha'

MX-52a
MX-52b
MX-52d
MX-52e



blurbs under the big ani
Hidden Text: Show
The MX-52 uses 4 IR emitters with an estimated target resolution of 3.2 meters and 5 degree thrust vectoring for guidance and control.

The warhead deals 25 damage whatever that means but seriously it's heat seeking this isn't hitting anything anyway just turn lmao.

The Piranha missile has 15 submunitions that are detonated remotely by a timed fuse or by proximity with the missile.

Fun fact: the submunitions have a turn time of 1.5 seconds, I'm pretty sure that's the slowest it gets for ""anti-fighter"" missiles.

The launch tubes are located in strategic positions around the Colossus' hull to minimize untargetable areas.

Each launch tube can cycled repeatedly for maximum fire rate and on-target saturation without danger of overheat or jamming.

Under "Sytems"(sic)
Hidden Text: Show
The modularity and adaptability of the missile tubes allows their use even in extreme circumstances. Power draw is minimal and crew requirements per launcher are modest. Significant damage control systems are in place in case of damage to the system, preventing premature detonation of warheads within the tubes.

Under specs
Hidden Text: Show
the MX-54 missile launcher comes in an 3x4x5x4x3 array while the Piranha launcher has 3 simultaneous 'canisters' prepared for launch within 30 seconds. Both can be reloaded from empty within 5 minutes.

Under weapon systems
Hidden Text: Show
Each missile bay operates independently allowing it to accurately track separate targets, and protecting them from a system-wide attack.
2 port
2 starboard
2 aft
4 forward

Under specs at the top
Hidden Text: Show
The missile bays on the Colossus are specially designed for it, allowing it integrate with the ship's systems.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: SilverAngelX on August 04, 2020, 09:55:42 am
Here's another idea for one of the Crew Descriptions panels:
Hidden Text: Show
To accommodate the full crew compliment, this ship contains an unprecedented amount of recreational facilities. On proposal of Vice Admiral Skroob the following facilities were added: a two-story mall with various shops, two cinemas and an extended ball room. Furthermore, three swimming pools, a circus, and a zoo. Animals are to be shipped to that zoo as soon as it is logistically possible. To man the circus, all officers and crew serving onboard the Colossus have to take additional mandatory courses to learn appropriate entertainment skills. GTVA Central HR believes this also to be a good concept to improve social engagement within the crew.

Admiral Skroops proposal to also add a so called "Mega M.A.I.D." (Modus for Atmospheric Intake and Distribution) option to the Colossus remains under discussion. As does the idea of Corporal C. Braun, callsign SilverAngel, to add a "We break for nobody" bumper sticker.

For the Squadron Compliment:
Hidden Text: Show
Reminder

Any accidental damages to the hangar bay caused by the fighters or bombers operated within are NOT covered by the standard warranty for the GTVA Colossus. Please purchase the extended warranty package to include coverage for such damages up to 250 spacecrafts. Damages caused by intent or gross negligence cannot be covered.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Strygon on August 04, 2020, 06:02:03 pm
I am calling dibs on Right side view and Top view blueprints. Gonna fill it with some neat technobabble and fancy imagery.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Cyborg17 on August 04, 2020, 10:41:36 pm
I'd like to claim part of the missile section.  If I can't come up with something good by tomorrow, I'll give it up.
Ctrl + f failed for some reason.  I'll take Generic 2 for 300.

Hidden Text: Show
Aft Decks:

Aft Decks contain Secondary Reactors A and B.  Reactor A is a 3rd generation 300 cubic meter Meson reactor, capable of 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. Designed by engineers Mike Kulas and Daniel Wentz.  Secondary rector B is a smaller 200 cubic meter 4th generation Meson reactor capable of 2.1 gigawatts. This was designed by Bob Ross and Tom Servo in association with the University of Deneb - Deneb VI campus.

Automated systems monitor the internal temperature of the reactors and shut them down if they are overheated. In the event of a full reactor core meltdown, automatic lockdown occurs on Aft Decks 12 - 47 and radiation shielding is secured in no less than 12 seconds.  Radiation damage will still occur in those decks, requiring dry-dock repairs.

3000 tons of meson reactor fuel must be delivered weekly to sustain the power requirements of the Colossus if it is on campaign. The same amount monthly, otherwise.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Rampage on August 04, 2020, 11:43:32 pm
My draft bid for Generic 2:

Hidden Text: Show
The Colossus is propelled by state-of-the-art impulse displacement systems jointly designed by Triton Dynamics and the Akheton Corporation, the apogee of joint Terran and Vasudan systems engineering.  High efficiency molybdenum polyorganic amalgam heat pipes redirect thermal energy to ship systems, including weapon turrets, shield deflectors, and life support.

The Colossus’ subspace drives are unique in their kind, having been designed using retrofitted Shivan prototypes and salvaged engine components from the Hades wreckage.  The primary drive operates in Class FX push-pull fashion, allowing the ship to perform in system shock jumps and to traverse jump nodes deemed by conventional astronavigation systems to be nigh unstable.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: 0rph3u5 on August 05, 2020, 07:29:23 am
How about sneaking some histroy into Generic 1 or 2?

Hidden Text: Show


This ship is named after the Colossus of Rhodes, a monument which is considered to be second youngest of the "Seven Wonders of the World" from Greco-Roman antiquity.
The original monument was erected between 292 and 280 BCE to commemorate the defence of the island state of Rhodes against the Antigonid king Demetrios Poliorketes. Demetrios laid siege to the neutral island from 305 to 304 BCE for its diplomatic ties to Pharaoh Ptolemy I Soter. Fearing that the Rhodians would supply his dynasty’s adversaries with ships in the then on-going conflict between the Antigonid and Ptolemaic rulers, Demetrios assaulted the island with superior force of troops and ships. Despite intervention from Ptolemy and the Antigonids being pressed at home, the Rhodian polis claimed the victory over the besieging force for itself. The Colossus, as an image of the Rhodes’ patron god Helios, was part of the effort to cultivate the narrative of a Rhodian victory, as well as to honour the patron god for what was believed by the polis to be his intervention during the siege.

The statue was destroyed in 226 BCE when an earthquake struck Rhodes, as it probably was not build to withstand the force of the tremors. According to the historian Strabo, no efforts to rebuild the Colossus were made because an oracle advised the Rhodians against doing so.

Despite its reputation as feat of engineering, both to its contemporaries and following generations, the Colossus was also considered a sign of hubris on part of the Rhodians. Various authors of the Greco-Roman period give anecdotes that the construction of the Colossus brought ruin to everyone involved.

The Colossus is often depicted in popular media as standing with on foot on either side of the moles enclosing the harbour of the capital of Rhodes. That image is fabrication which exaggerates the size of the statue, which was only about 30 meters tall, and removes the statue from its religious context to the polis. Contemporary authors did not specify the location of the statue, or its remains, probably because that knowledge was considered to be a given for their audience. It is most likely that the statue was placed within a Helios sanctuary or temple, its site however remains a matter of academic debate.



NOTE: The "second youngest"-thing needs citation; I'll get on that - however that should line up with the first appearance of the GTVA Colossus being "The Sixth Wonder" as the Pharos of Alexandria is the youngest in the most common lists of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World


EDIT: Added a short bit about the depiction of the Colossus of Rhodes in popular media
EDIT2: fixed the tense in the first sentence
EDIT3: corrected the dates in the second sentence
Edit4: grammar correction to sentence 3
EDIT5: changed the language of the first paragraph to make it a bit simpler
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Colonol Dekker on August 05, 2020, 08:43:25 am
Nahhh it should be about the ship.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 05, 2020, 02:28:24 pm
Coming along nicely!

Here's what I still need.

-Lasers blubs
-Flak blurbs
-Beam blurbs (Def got this started with a paragraph a few posts up.)
-One more Crew paragraph.

Pics of what's completed.

(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/223516619052285952/740653270477045760/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/223516619052285952/740653365142225027/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/223516619052285952/740653482649976872/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/223516619052285952/740653531480064130/unknown.png)
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Rampage on August 05, 2020, 02:40:50 pm
I actually love the bit about the ancient Colossus of Rhodes.  The FS Colossus is the Sixth (or was it Eighth) Wonder.  I vote for its incorporation into the cutscene.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: DefCynodont119 on August 05, 2020, 05:53:35 pm
CREW: For the start of the engineering section:

Hidden Text: Show

Quote
The construction and maintenance requirements are vast, it takes two entire TC-TRIs just to ship the necessary amount of tan paint for the outer hull. To alleviate this, the Colossus has an on-board logistics corps to ensure proper use of all supplies.

Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 05, 2020, 07:09:52 pm
I actually love the bit about the ancient Colossus of Rhodes.  The FS Colossus is the Sixth (or was it Eighth) Wonder.  I vote for its incorporation into the cutscene.

In point of fact, there are only Seven Wonders of the Ancient World (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Wonders_of_the_Ancient_World) of which the Colossus statue is generally regarded as the sixth (hence the title of the FS2 mission that introduces the GTVA Colossus being "The Sixth Wonder." Whenever someone is trying to declare something as the "Eighth Wonder of the World," they are trying to declare that something is really, really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY awesome. Needless to say, such an opinion might not be a consensus view. :p

But I do agree that text about the Colossus of Rhodes should be in the Colossus cutscene since it would be altogether fitting and proper. :D
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Goober5000 on August 05, 2020, 11:53:00 pm
Public service announcement: Crew or squadron complement is spelled with an E.

And mind the difference between its and it's.

*doffs Grammar Inquisition hat*

Aside from that, these text blurbs look great. :)
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on August 06, 2020, 03:26:22 am
Public service announcement: Crew or squadron complement is spelled with an E.

And mind the difference between its and it's.

*doffs Grammar Inquisition hat*

Aside from that, these text blurbs look great. :)

Also, Mjn, one small change you can make to the Squadron Complement blurb, if there's still time for it: replace the word "accommodate" with "fit".

These screens are incredible. It's frankly quite amazing to see all the crowdsourced text fitting into the cutscene elements so well. :nod:
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 06, 2020, 10:37:02 am
Public service announcement: Crew or squadron complement is spelled with an E.

And mind the difference between its and it's.

*doffs Grammar Inquisition hat*

Aside from that, these text blurbs look great. :)

NOBODY EXPECTS THE GRAMMAR INQUISITION!

Our main weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our two main weapons are surprise and fear and a fanatical devotion to proper spelling and grammar. Amongst our weaponry....

But yeah, thank you Goober, for pointing this out. I would have pointed this out myself, but I've gotten burned (that is, gently told to use PMs instead of posting in people's public threads when correcting their grammar) at the Rancor Pit for doing exactly that sort of thing.

But damn, it's so awesome that my (admittedly silly) Kurtwood Smith blurb actually made it into this new Colossus cutscene. It is a minor accomplishment of no financial or social import, it will do nothing to even infinitesimally contribute towards solving any of the world's problems, and even the subject of this blurb, Kurtwood Smith, will never see it.

And yet, I still feel oddly proud of it for some strange reason that I cannot fathom. :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Colonol Dekker on August 06, 2020, 11:23:24 am
Can we puhlease include the old classic HLP welcome blurb....
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 06, 2020, 01:29:05 pm
The only areas left now are the Lasers, Flak, and Beams sections. :yes:
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Mito [PL] on August 06, 2020, 01:29:37 pm
My small thingy for the Crew part:

Hidden Text: Show
The vessel's crew has displayed excessive eagerness to use the thermal management systems as means of meal preparation, disregarding their standard ration heater equipement. While using reactor coolant for chilling drinks or heating sausages next to heatsinks was found to be perfectly safe, the act of cooking bacon on secondary heat exchangers nearly caused several catastrophic failures and was promptly banned. After a massive outcry from both Terran and Vasudan parts of the crew, the ban was lifted under the condition that it will not be attempted unless the safety of the act is notified by the ship's commanding officer. This event was responsible for the creation of "Bacon Green" and "Bacon Red" conditions, now famous among all GTVA military personnel.

I expect someone to reference HLP flamethrowers-without-fuel-under-your-seat in Weapons section.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 06, 2020, 02:58:52 pm
Mjn, is there a way for me to do a final proofread of the cutscene texts before you finalize it? I'll look through everyone's posts here on the thread to double-check their spelling and grammar, but if there's a way for me to proofread the cutscene before you publish it, I'd like to know.

For right now, I'll inspect the previous posts in this thread instead of waiting for Mjn (he's busy enough as it is). Stay tuned for any text edits to be posted. I'll post them on this thread as I spot them.

EDIT: Mjn, never mind my previous request. The screenshots you posted are of a sufficient resolution that I can read them right off the screen. I'll do my proofread off of them and post my edits as needed. Stay tuned.

EDIT 2: Mjn's Posted Colossus Picture 1: Pending.

Mjn's Posted Colossus Picture 2: I lied that edits in Picture 2 didn't need more editing. I said "May be subject to change" for a reason. Anyhoo, shouldn't "radiation shielding is secured in no less than 12 seconds" more properly read as "radiation shielding is secured in no more than 12 seconds"? For something like radiation shielding, the less time it takes to activate, the safer and more comforting it is. The former implies it could take more time than the latter. Unless that was the author's point and is Playing It For Laughs (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlayedForLaughs) with a D.I.Y. Disaster (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DIYDisaster)...

Mjn's Posted Colossus Picture 3: The word "accomodate" has the first letter "a" separated and on a different line from "ccomodate". Also, double-check that "a" is not capitalized. It probably isn't capitalized (and rightly so), but just make sure my eyes aren't playing tricks on me. Also, in the Squadron section, "compliment" should be "complement".

Mjn's Posted Colossus Picture 4: As noted previously in the Squadron section: in the "Security" section, "compliment" should be "complement". Also, "ball room" should be "ballroom". In the "Munitions" section, "Skroops" should be either "Skoop's" or "Skroops'" depending on whether the "s" is part of the "Skroop/Skroops" handle, respectively. Further edits pending.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Firesteel on August 06, 2020, 03:32:26 pm
Laser Turrets:

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The gunnery crew of the Colossus have taken to drawing lots for who is stuck operating the laser turrets on any given deployment. These are after all the least glamorous and even arguably least important positions to fill due to the projectiles' general lack of velocity, range, and damage to shields. They have even had their roles as anti-torpedo point defense encroached on by the likes of flak and AAA turrets. Some in the gunnery crew however are excited to put their feet up during a mission and will try and pull the assignment as it were. There was an early attempt to curb this behavior but it ultimately failed after the push back about it building comradery. In response, the command crew doubled the number of gunnery drills and as such the Colossus has one of the most disciplined crews in the fleet.

I could also see someone doing a "please help me my point defense isn't effective" blurb.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 06, 2020, 03:41:35 pm
Firestar, I think the word you were looking for in place of "comradery" was "camaraderie". Also, "push back" should be one word: "pushback". Maybe re-write the sentence like this?:

"There was an early attempt to curb this behavior but it ultimately failed after the pushback claimed that this behavior built camaraderie."

There were at least two separate "it" in the previous version of the sentence, the first "it" referring to the attempt and the other "it" to the behavior so I rewrote it this way to be more clear.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 06, 2020, 03:46:05 pm
We don't need to do spellcheck grammar check in the thread. I can do that right in my animation app.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Su-tehp on August 06, 2020, 03:46:31 pm
Fair enough.

EDIT: Well, on second thought, you did confuse "compliment" and "complement" the first time around... :p

And let's not even mention the deal with "it's" and "its"...

Too late, I mentioned it!  :nervous:
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 06, 2020, 05:25:09 pm
I didn't confuse anything. I literally copy and pasted. I have to run spellcheck individually as a separate process which I haven't done because not all the text is in yet. kthx.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: perihelion on August 07, 2020, 10:45:10 am
"They look like big, good, strong hands, don't they? I always thought that's what they were. My little friends. The little man with his racing snail, the Nighthob, even the stupid bat. I couldn't hold on to them. The nothing pulled them right out of my hands. I failed."

I always picture that scene from The Neverending Story when the Colossus goes down.  Would it be appropriate to embed that somewhere or is that just me?
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 08, 2020, 11:37:54 am
I still need text for Flak and Beams. It's looking like most of the major rendering will be done over the next day or two. All that's left will be text details and other minor adjustments.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: Goober5000 on August 08, 2020, 11:52:59 am
I always picture that scene from The Neverending Story when the Colossus goes down.  Would it be appropriate to embed that somewhere or is that just me?

I'm not a fan of that myself.  Stick with FreeSpace-y references.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: DefCynodont119 on August 08, 2020, 12:39:40 pm
Beam text adapted from BP's techroom with some light changes:


Quote
The GTVA Colossus is capable of overloading its beam emitters, forcing additional power to the magnetic bottle and increasing plasma core feed rates. Overloading beam weapons is not standard practice on GTVA warships, but as confidence in power grid and heat sink handling has increased, trained crews have begun drilling on tactical weapon overloads. This comes at the cost of subspace engine recharge and emitter endurance. Do you want to know more? Well you could ask General Battuta, our beam weapon expert, but he is busy right now, he's not some Oracle, he has a life you know.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: SilverAngelX on August 08, 2020, 01:22:00 pm
And here's something for FLAK turrets:
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FLAK turrets are the nightmare of every attacking pilot. They fire blobs of highly energized and compressed plasma enclosed in a magnetic bubble that burst several seconds after firing. The compressed plasma then expands upon release which creates a kind of micro-explosion. FLAK turrets release hundreds of those projectiles per minute and create a large death zone for fighters, bombers, and every other object unfortunate enough to enter this zone. Since enemy ships are hit from almost all sides their shields are quickly drained and then their hulls get hammered.
After attempts by a kitchen appliances manufacturer to use a similar technique with plasma compression in one of their products to evenly roast meat led to several unfortunate accidents, the GTVA passed legislation to restrict the use of plasma compression technology to spacecraft-related purposes only.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: mjn.mixael on August 09, 2020, 01:50:23 am
All text is in. Just waiting on the last two blueprints to be completed and I believe someone is already working on those.
Title: Re: Colossus Cutscene Crowdsourcing
Post by: deathspeed on August 17, 2020, 09:19:03 pm
Damn.  I just saw this topic today.  It was a fun read!