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Off-Topic Discussion => Gaming Discussion => Topic started by: FlamingCobra on October 18, 2011, 06:49:02 pm

Title: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 18, 2011, 06:49:02 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: QuantumDelta on October 18, 2011, 06:57:47 pm
K.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Dark RevenantX on October 18, 2011, 07:57:26 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

Oni + sandbox.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Mongoose on October 18, 2011, 08:04:43 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.
No.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Shivan Hunter on October 18, 2011, 08:08:06 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

lol
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: General Battuta on October 18, 2011, 08:51:01 pm
would post more except i have to read flamingcobra threads (http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/smilies/negativeman-55f.png)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Scotty on October 18, 2011, 09:25:08 pm
Samus is a badass everywhere except Other M, which had horribly written characters.

Try again.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 18, 2011, 09:41:24 pm
Bring me the head of FlamingCobra and I will actually FRED again.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: karajorma on October 18, 2011, 10:28:55 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

Translation mode engaged :

I'm horny but I'm unable to watch porn for some reason so I need a way to satisfy my adolescent desire for women in a way which won't get me grounded if my mum finds it under the bed\checks my browser history.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: BlueFlames on October 18, 2011, 10:37:40 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

Translation mode engaged :

I'm horny but I'm unable to watch porn for some reason so I need a way to satisfy my adolescent desire for women in a way which won't get me grounded if my mum finds it under the bed\checks my browser history.

Or he's somehow managed to exhaust all of the Nintendo-themed "fan art" that he could find on the internet, and so he needs a new Nintendo franchise to pander to him.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Ravenholme on October 18, 2011, 10:50:13 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

Translation mode engaged :

I'm horny but I'm unable to watch porn for some reason so I need a way to satisfy my adolescent desire for women in a way which won't get me grounded if my mum finds it under the bed\checks my browser history.

Or he's somehow managed to exhaust all of the Nintendo-themed "fan art" that he could find on the internet, and so he needs a new Nintendo franchise to pander to him.

I don't think that is physically possible
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: LordPomposity on October 18, 2011, 11:05:15 pm
Ctrl+Shift+n to open new incognito window, dude.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 18, 2011, 11:14:00 pm
Didn't you hear guys? Nintendo already had this option in their games which has been widely dubbed as the "Sex UI". Apparently, it was an option long hidden within their games, and it's finally been discovered by some random person who managed to stumble upon this amazing button combination. Link is in fact a girl!
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Sushi on October 19, 2011, 12:12:57 am
Oh look, another FlamingCobra topic.

(http://www.gifbin.com/bin/3204840swsw.gif)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: IronBeer on October 19, 2011, 12:53:18 am
Uhm. Er. HUH?

(http://solutionproblem.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/cant-tell-if-trolling.jpg)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Jeff Vader on October 19, 2011, 01:16:17 am
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.
(http://i347.photobucket.com/albums/p457/gatomjp/Why-are-you-here.jpg)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: TrashMan on October 19, 2011, 01:21:24 am
Really? Why would we need anohter Samus?
One is more than enough.
The world doesn't need more "meh" games and characters
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: mxlm on October 19, 2011, 02:29:58 am
(http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/mxlm/Nextwave-AgentsofHATEpage10.jpg)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: headdie on October 19, 2011, 04:39:14 am
google
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: TrashMan on October 19, 2011, 06:12:24 am
wut?
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: MP-Ryan on October 19, 2011, 08:47:20 am
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Ravenholme on October 19, 2011, 08:51:24 am
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.

Either that or it's a euphemism. If you catch my drift.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Colonol Dekker on October 19, 2011, 09:44:06 am
Whatever happened to Joanna dark.


SHE ARE FEEET!!
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: The E on October 19, 2011, 09:55:15 am
Whatever happened to Joanna dark.

Moved to XBox.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: -Sara- on October 19, 2011, 11:11:11 am
It seems people play Second Life with a Wii-mote nowadays FlamingCobra. Your questionable fantasies of Nintendo and polygonal women are fulfilled. :shaking:
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 19, 2011, 12:49:00 pm
We need a sexy female badass other than Samus. In fact, Samus really isn't that much of a badass. We need a protagonist who kicks ass in addition to shooting, but generally doesn't solve puzzles. All the while in  an action/third-person shoot 'em up/beat 'em up game with an anime graphical style. Flung 200 years into the future. Crossed with the sandbox style of grand theft auto and the futuristicness of the fifth element. While maintaining a "T" ESRB rating.

Translation mode engaged :

I'm horny but I'm unable to watch porn for some reason so I need a way to satisfy my adolescent desire for women in a way which won't get me grounded if my mum finds it under the bed\checks my browser history.

Nope. I do that anyway. My mom is so technologically illiterate she doesn't even know what a "browser history" is.

It seems people play Second Life with a Wii-mote nowadays FlamingCobra. Your questionable fantasies of Nintendo and polygonal women are fulfilled. :shaking:

wut?

would post more except i have to read flamingcobra threads (http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/smilies/negativeman-55f.png)
well sorrrrrrrrrrry!

I suppose you don't want me to make the next thread I was planning, which was going to be a list of all the things I am mad at Nintendo for. Or a thread about a possible controller scheme that I came up with that is like a cross between the Wii's nunchuck and the xbox 360 controller/classic controller. I think the design is pretty good actually, but I'm probably biased because I came up with it.

<snip>

Oni + sandbox.

That game looks awesome.

Bring me the head of FlamingCobra and I will actually FRED again.
wut?



On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT. I mean, when was the last time Nintendo made a new franchise? And no, Brain Age does not count. Or Nintendogs (+Cats). Or anything specifically targeted at people that are not even worthy of the title, "gamer."

Also, whatever happened to 1080o? Oh wait, nevermind. I was saving that for my rant about Nintendo. I have also been saving up a rant about school buses, but that would go under general discussion.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: The E on October 19, 2011, 12:55:17 pm
No, Nintendo does not "need" a new franchise.

Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 19, 2011, 12:55:46 pm
Metroid has plenty of life in it, Zelda can still kick around a bit, and Mario never dies.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: SypheDMar on October 19, 2011, 01:26:09 pm
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT. I mean, when was the last time Nintendo made a new franchise? And no, Brain Age does not count. Or Nintendogs (+Cats). Or anything specifically targeted at people that are not even worth the title of "gamer."
You are not worthy of the title of "gamer".
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 19, 2011, 01:34:28 pm
No, Nintendo does not "need" a new franchise.

True. They are already making plenty of money. But it would be nice.

On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT. I mean, when was the last time Nintendo made a new franchise? And no, Brain Age does not count. Or Nintendogs (+Cats). Or anything specifically targeted at people that are not even worth the title of "gamer."
You are not worthy of the title of "gamer".

I'm not going into details. All I can say is, you don't know me in real life.

Metroid has plenty of life in it, Zelda can still kick around a bit, and Mario never dies.
I'm getting tired of Mario. I'm going to be pissed at Skyward Sword because there won't be a left-handed option. And I'm going to be really pissed because Link is now right-handed. Even though they did that in TP too. But I got the (superior) gamecube version.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: The E on October 19, 2011, 02:22:02 pm
Simply by jumping on that silly "casual gamers vs hardcore gamers" bandwagon you have pretty much disqualified yourself. We're all gamers, period. Just because the "casual" people don't take it as seriously as most of the denizens of this forum does NOT mean they're lesser beings, or that the games that cater to them are any less games.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 19, 2011, 02:44:56 pm
Simply by jumping on that silly "casual gamers vs hardcore gamers" bandwagon you have pretty much disqualified yourself. We're all gamers, period. Just because the "casual" people don't take it as seriously as most of the denizens of this forum does NOT mean they're lesser beings, or that the games that cater to them are any less games.

You know what? I think I'll just lurk quietly for a few weeks. :warp:

EDIT: Or maybe, just maybe, someone could give me an indication of what kind of topics are appreciated in "Gaming Discussion" instead of just telling me to "stop making ****pointless topics" or whatever.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 19, 2011, 02:51:11 pm
Quote
I'm getting tired of Mario.

You don't tired of Mario. Mario gets tired of YOU
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Scourge of Ages on October 19, 2011, 03:25:50 pm
Cobra, have you ever played the Fire Emblem Games? If you're MAN enough for some HARDCORE tactical gameplay, you can also find a BEVY of FEMALE characters, many of them filling your stated requirements.

And you can't forget Krystal from Starfox.

/me ducks
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 19, 2011, 03:45:55 pm
Cobra, have you ever played the Fire Emblem Games? If you're MAN enough for some HARDCORE tactical gameplay, you can also find a BEVY of FEMALE characters, many of them filling your stated requirements.

And you can't forget Krystal from Starfox.

/me ducks

OH GOD. I'm not a furfag.

Also, I started playing fire emblem for GBA and a got quite a ways and then i got stuck. I used to be really into strategy/tactical games but recently I have gotten tired of them.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: NGTM-1R on October 19, 2011, 04:07:30 pm
I'm not a furfag.

Your loss on the warm and fuzzy.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Scotty on October 19, 2011, 04:28:45 pm
Cobra, have you ever played the Fire Emblem Games? If you're MAN enough for some HARDCORE tactical gameplay, you can also find a BEVY of FEMALE characters, many of them filling your stated requirements.

And you can't forget Krystal from Starfox.

/me ducks

OH GOD. I'm not a furfag.

Neither am I, but you don't need to use derogatory remarks.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: General Battuta on October 19, 2011, 05:40:09 pm
Cobra, have you ever played the Fire Emblem Games? If you're MAN enough for some HARDCORE tactical gameplay, you can also find a BEVY of FEMALE characters, many of them filling your stated requirements.

And you can't forget Krystal from Starfox.

/me ducks

OH GOD. I'm not a furfag.

Neither am I, but you don't need to use derogatory remarks.

Agreed
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: LordPomposity on October 19, 2011, 09:22:49 pm
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: redsniper on October 19, 2011, 09:27:34 pm
Yes.... YES!
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: IronBeer on October 19, 2011, 09:33:37 pm
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.
....wait a minute.  :lol:
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: TwentyPercentCooler on October 19, 2011, 09:41:52 pm
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.

Will it be a third-person action game illogically littered with chest-high walls? Will it have a scrappy vehicle section? Will your health regenerate while behind aforementioned chest-high walls? Will you hire pop culture heroes for voice acting to disguise the pulpy and insubstantially written dialogue? Will all the bosses be fought using quicktime events?

If so, this could totally be the next AAA breakout hit.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: LordPomposity on October 19, 2011, 11:24:57 pm
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.

Will it be a third-person action game illogically littered with chest-high walls? Will it have a scrappy vehicle section? Will your health regenerate while behind aforementioned chest-high walls? Will you hire pop culture heroes for voice acting to disguise the pulpy and insubstantially written dialogue? Will all the bosses be fought using quicktime events?

If so, this could totally be the next AAA breakout hit.

I'll consider it, but I was planning on a system where there are about 4 different maps recycled endlessly, with some doors sealed off and you entering from a different direction each time so that it at least takes you a few seconds to realize you've already been here. Plus a morally grey conflict between two sides who both more or less continuously channel Hitler. And no ending.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 20, 2011, 01:46:15 am
I like where all this is heading
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: MarkN on October 20, 2011, 02:52:23 am
You will also need quick-time events to make it popular:
In one cut-scene you are getting out of a car at your base, and to successfully open the door you have to swing the wiimote at just the right angle, otherwise your character ends up putting hit head through the window and dying from the lacerations (except in the German release, where there will be no blood, and so the character will die for no apparent reason).

Also picking up ammuntition will require pointing at the correct pixel on an enemies dropped weapon and playing the ammo strip minigame which lasts around an hour for the higher-level weapon (but to be really successful it will be possible to complete the game using nothing other than your starting weapon, for which you can get ammunition by talking to any friendly or neutral character)

Finally, any action you take against the new order will result in the new secret police looking for you, but if you hide out they will forget about you in one minute
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Cobra on October 20, 2011, 05:30:11 am
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.

Hey, hey, HEY!

/me points at his name

Watch where you're aiming, k?

Also this thread makes me lul. But I have a question. Hypothetically, say I killed FlamingCobra... would that count as a form of suicide?

EDIT:
Finally, any action you take against the new order will result in the new secret police looking for you, but if you hide out they will forget about you in one minute

*****, **** that. I'll go all Jedi up on their bums and Jedi Mind Trick 'em. "This ain't the convict you're looking for."
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: The E on October 20, 2011, 05:42:16 am
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.

Hey, hey, HEY!

/me points at his name

Watch where you're aiming, k?

Also this thread makes me lul. But I have a question. Hypothetically, say I killed FlamingCobra... would that count as a form of suicide?

No. As it would only kill the flames, it's more like self-protection, really.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: redsniper on October 20, 2011, 11:33:48 am
So many people... didn't get the joke...
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Sushi on October 20, 2011, 12:12:26 pm
I am now thoroughly confused.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: General Battuta on October 20, 2011, 12:15:24 pm
MARIO IS THE JOKE
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Sushi on October 20, 2011, 03:47:00 pm
MARIO IS THE JOKE

That's what I thought based on LordPomposity's first post (which was awesome), but the "additions" afterward threw me for a loop.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 20, 2011, 04:17:08 pm
I understood the joke, but I liked where it was headed after the fact
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: mxlm on October 20, 2011, 07:11:13 pm
I'm not a furfag.

(http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/mxlm/Foom1.jpg)

That more your speed?
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: TrashMan on October 21, 2011, 02:02:44 am
(http://doodiepants.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/kill-it-with-fire-motivator.jpg)
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Pred the Penguin on October 21, 2011, 10:19:19 am
This thread should be killed with fire.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: TwentyPercentCooler on October 21, 2011, 10:21:55 am
I was thinking more along the lines of Exterminatus.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: BritishShivans on October 21, 2011, 02:26:04 pm
No, destroy the galaxy it is in. As in blow it up.  :D
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: deathfun on October 21, 2011, 02:40:39 pm
I just killed the Omega Pirate
Yaaayyy....
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: FlamingCobra on October 21, 2011, 03:47:20 pm
<insert kill it with fire here>

I wanted to post that but I figured I'd end up getting more criticism. So I used my better judgement and did not.
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: sigtau on October 21, 2011, 04:19:28 pm
lol gendisc
Title: Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Post by: Mongoose on October 21, 2011, 04:25:45 pm
We've descended to multiple image macros.  I think we're done here. :p