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Off-Topic Discussion => Gaming Discussion => Topic started by: Mika on March 05, 2016, 07:58:17 am

Title: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 05, 2016, 07:58:17 am
Hi all,

I've thought for some time to coach a Blood Bowl II team composed of the forum members. We're going against AI as I have a limited amount of time to play per week, I can probably do 2 to 3 matches per week. Any takers?

Now, what's Blood Bowl you might ask? Well, it's a fictional sports game - don't worry, you haven't heard the best part yet - based on Warhammer whocares universe (and a table top game), carrying some resemblance to actual Super Bowl, but being more violent and lax on the rules. Killing and maiming the opposition is encouraged, though scoring will still be necessary to win a match. The best part? It's not a real time game, but turn based.

So, there's a total of 16 turns per match if it doesn't go to over time, and each side has 10 field players up to a maximum of 16 players on the team. The players have stats and skills, and with most of the teams, the players will have roles, such as linemen, blitzers, catchers and throwers. In addition for standard Super Bowl stuff, there's also the Big Guy, a notoriously unreliable big dude who delivers in physical force what he can't in thoughts.

The game is actually a risk management game where each action has a specific probability of failing. Typically that's 1/6, so if you thought XCOM 95 % to hit missed much too often, all I can say is welcome to Blood Bowl! The game indeed provides quite a random gaming experience with reasonable amount of control for the player. That's not to say there won't be Those Games where you just roll ones all the time.

What I haven't thought yet is what race I'd like to play, as I have access to:

My personal preference would be Chaos or Skaven, where Chaos murders and Skaven scores, leading to games with quite a bit going on in them. Oh, there's also Lizardmen and Wood Elves, but **** Cyanide for DLC teams that I can only pay through Steam.

Let's have a vote of a team you'd like to see me coach (and a vote I that can ignore), and your preferred position in the game. The way it goes is:

And one last thing: all teams have attrition rates. Skaven and Wood Elves being the most squishy, while Dorfs almost never get knocked out or injured.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 05, 2016, 01:11:40 pm
No lizardmen? Pity. Voting Bretonnians first, Orcs second and Chaos third then.
Also voluntering to be a big dumb dude who spends most of his time failing his bone-head rolls.

Edit: psh, no big guy.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 05, 2016, 02:12:51 pm
Unfortunately, the Bretonnians do not get a big guy. Other than that, I'll reserve the big guy slot for you.

And yes, failing Bone-head (or Really Stupid or Wild Animal) rolls shall happen. Who wouldn't love even more unpredictability in the game?  :lol:
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on March 06, 2016, 12:50:59 am
This sounds like fun! Count me in. I'll cast my vote for Chaos, because of course, and I'll take any role available, preferably something that can dish out the pain.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mammothtank on March 06, 2016, 12:56:41 am
I vote for Chaos and any role since... I don't really know the Blood Bowl mechanics.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: swashmebuckle on March 06, 2016, 01:46:46 am
Orcs and I wish to be a passer so I can carry on my glorious tradition of inaccuracy from the X-COM thread.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 06, 2016, 05:08:04 am
Okay folks so it's 4/10 positionals filled. I'll still be waiting this day, as if I recall, once I've created the team, I can't change the player names any more, and I need ten players.

We can start with 4/10, but once more people join in, I think I'll have to sack some of the worst performing random name players.

I'll follow up next with a post that just shows a couple of basic game concepts.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 06, 2016, 09:48:26 am
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing to you the Blood Bowl commentators, Bob Bifford (ogre) and Jim Johnson (vampire)!


Bob is a fine lad, and Jim asks the question what most of you likely have in your mind:

Yes yes, how do you actually play Blood Bowl? Well, it's a game like Super Bowl, but more tactical. And violent.

We deal with the introductions by playing a tutorial match.

Tutorial match post #1, explaining movement and stats

Hidden Text: Show
So after working hard in the junior league, I was elected to become a coach of the famous Reikland Reavers, who have recently got a bit of a downturn. But I have no doubts that I'll be able to turn the things around!
However, as a slight concern, I was immediately challenged by our sponsors to sack the earlier players and choose a number of a fresh faced rookies on the pitch.


Coach: Where exactly are my big name star players?! The Reavers do have them! Where's Griff Oberwald and Mighty Zug?

Coach: What do you mean they left?!! What do you mean the dismal performance of the Reavers in last season??!!


[Yup, the troll drools even as he punches. That's sick.]

Coach: Well, no reason to dwell on the bad memories of last season, so let's go to play a more "friendly" match against the Death Headz, which I heard is a competent Orc team.



Coach: So they have lineorcs, goblins (yeah!) and Black Orcs  :shaking: Boys, you know how the saying goes, the blacker the orc, the stronger he becomes ;7. So stay away from those things. Gosh they look mean.

As a first concept, let's look bit on your movement abilities. The thrower can run six squares on the pitch, which, if necessary, he can extend to eight squares in a pinch. However since this is such a strain to a non-professional player, he runs to the risk of overextending his abilities and may then fall down [there's 1/6 probability that happens per square with a die].


Coach: Let's then look at the bigger picture from above. The three guys in the front - the big guy, and two linemen, are on the line of scrimmage as they should, tying up opponent players within the zone.


There's also your tackle zones, anyone entering your tackle zone (red) and then leaving it has to roll a dice if he gets tackled or not. Which is why you defaulted to this spread, trying to cover as large area as possible. Please remember not to do that again as the Orcs have an easy access to the ball.  See below what could have happened had the Black Orc blitzed either of our positionals! They could've brought players close enough to the ball to force the team to abandon offense and switch over to defending our side!


Click here to expand part of the post that explains blocking and blitzing
Hidden Text: Show

Coach: Luckily, it is our turn to be receiving, so we get the first shots. Also, Butt [yes, our Ogre's name is Butt - must have had monster like parents], please try to stay focused next time and do not go punching first

Butt: "Someone said punch!"

Coach: Yes, yes a great demonstration Butt, but next time knock the opposition player unconscious!

So where was I? Yeah Butt started with a block against a goblin which is good, but he did it first which is bad. I'll explain that later. Because Butt has more than twice the strength of the goblin, he rolls three dies, each of them having six outcomes:
  • ATTACKER DOWN (white skull)
  • ATTACKER STUMBLES (white skull with kapow)
  • PUSH(blue arrow)
  • PUSH(blue arrow)
  • DEFENDER STUMBLES (a POW sign with !)
  • DEFENDER DOWN (a clean yellow POW)

Coach: In total, by rolling a single dice, he has a 1/3 chance of knocking the Goblin down, and 1/3 chance of causing a turnover (if this wasn't a tutorial game). Since he rolled three dies, the chances are in our favor.


Coach: Nuffle, the god of dice, smiled upon him and Butt crushed the Gobbo quite handily, but the armor saved him from a knock-out and from an injury.

Butt: CRUSH?

Coach: No, not now Butt. Next our linemen advanced with a push and another with a knockdown:


Coach: Gotta say I love that uppercut, Edwin! Straight to the lineorc's kisser! Due to their resilience, the jaw bone did not give way, but he certainly was stunned!


Next our Blitzer decided to Blitz the Black Orc as he was blocking the way. Normally you wouldn't go against an opponent stronger than you, would you Marquis?

Luckily, you had two friends assisting your block so that the odds were again two dice in our favor.


[The way this actually works is: equal strengths -> 1 dice block. +1 strength over opponent -> 2 die block. More than 2x the strength of the opponent -> 3 die block] A solid play, and the Black Orc was down, but not stunned.

Coach: At this point, our catcher realized that he could actually contribute to the game by picking up the ball, which all in all, made sense (pick-up is assigned with a probability of failure as well, but in this tutorial game this isn't accounted):


Coach: The rest of you correctly moved in around the ball carrier to support him against any blocks or blitzes.


Coach: And that's our first turn done.

To be continued


I don't actually plan to keep this kind of details of the game, but this is more for the introduction of the game mechanics.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 06, 2016, 01:20:39 pm
Click here to expand the post of basic strategy and ball movement on the pitch
Hidden Text: Show

And now, the Orcs first turn did not turn out to be a slammer, they mainly moved their players around


The Black Orc managed to return a punch to Marquis, probably the earlier blitz needed a revenge. But so thinks Marquis too, and re-blitzes the Black Orc as the support is still there! This time, knocking him down, and allowing a breakthrough through the weakly defended side of the Orcs line. See ya, suckers, and thanks for the fish!


That is a proper breakthrough, with the ideal cage formation that principally forces the Orcs to Blitz the corners of the cage instead of the ball carrier. There's little that they can do to stop the breakthrough attack as most of their players are already too deep in our end to be viable in this situation. Now that's being done, the central players concentrate on smacking the enemy opposition on the ground to stop them from reaching the cage.

Butt Dwarf-slasher takes the initiative and punches the goblin again.
[So I take it that his parents were Dwarf and Slasher?]


Coach: Well you can't succeed every time

Coach: The lineman goes next against the weakling goblin.


Coach: ...and rolls double skulls and chooses from both getting smacked down and him getting smacked down. For revenge, he takes both down.

[This would normally cause a turn-over, but this is a tutorial game so that doesn't happen. Yet.]

Coach: Viscount, a goblin just almost kicked your ass. That ain't lookin' too good for the rest of your career...

The thrower then decides to try his luck in dodging out of the Orc blitzers immediate vicinity.


Coach: Facing favorable 2/3 odds, he makes it, leaving the Orc Blitzer gawking at the dust with his mouth open. Then our two blitzers below make one good block (= 2 die block) against an Orc Blitzer. They roll sixes, and it's a stun!


Coach: That Orc blitzer follows a clean parabolic flight path to the ground, saved only by his helmet and chin guard.

The Turn 2 is a smashing success, any coach would be happy seeing the following development:


The Orcs cannot do much else but to scavenge all the players they have available and try to create a road block in front of the human cage. Unfortunately, they lack movement to do so. They take their revenge on a blitzer that doesn't contribute to the game at all, and to a lineman next to Butt (the Ogre).

[Seriously, I don't know what the AI was smoking with those moves]

Coach: Scanning the available options, the Catcher checks the range to the finish line: it needs one Go For It, 83 % probable that it will succeed.


Unfortunately, this is Blood Bowl and Go For Its are notorious (if failed, there's a small chance that they kill your player) and that 83 % just ain't gonna cut it if the other option is to be certain. Before blitzing the range limiting orc, the non-risky moves are pulled first. Thus the knocked down players stand up first, tying the opposition once again.


Coach: Now that's been done, let's blitz the orc. The Blitzers automatically get the Block-skill (signified by the small hand icon on his player image), thus in his case, a Both Down result is negated and only the opposition gets knocked down.


Coach: So that's two dice and 66 % 83 % probability for successful removal of the Orc (since only push is needed) per dice. What could possibly go wrong?


Coach: Hieronymus Sigric, you suck
[This would cause a turnover again if it weren't a tutorial match. Yes, he rolled double ones, while the probability to succeed was around 97%...]

[Actually, this is also a strategic blunder. I could have moved the blitzer away without the Blitzing the orc, yielding the same end result. Mika's mistake count = 1]

To recover what can be recovered, Catcher Manfred Wendel runs in the true Forest Gump fashion next to the finish line. Hieronymus failing the Blitz forces our hand, and the team now has to roll that GFI. 83 % probability suddenly doesn't sound that bad any more, but if the Catcher falls and the ball scatters out of bounds, who knows where the fans will kick it. It could well be our touch down line.
[And yes, that has already happened to me]


Manfred Wendel turns out to be star player material, and DELIVERS THE TOUCHDOOOOOOOOOWN!


Coach: Now, we are 1-0 ahead, and have to kick off the ball so that the Orcs are receiving. Thrower Eomund Rudil is kicking, with the arrows indicating the scatter range. Yeah, we gotta do something about it soon... By placing the ball in the middle of the field, it is most likely that the ball will at least land on the field, and a touch back where the ball is directly given to the opposition players (with no chance of failing) is avoided.

Click here to expand kick-off event
Hidden Text: Show

Coach: Eomund kicks...


Coach: Uh-oh


Coach: Yeah, Blood Bowl fans can be like that
To be continued
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 06, 2016, 02:58:47 pm
Click here for post that demonstrates how defensive turn quickly changes for offensive turn. Also some strategy of gripping the ball from the opposition.
Hidden Text: Show

Luckily, this time the pitch invasion hurts more Orcs than us. Half of their front line crumbles as the enraged fans storm the pitch. It takes some minutes until the order is restored and the game can continue, leaving three orcs and two humans lying on the ground.


In the truest Blood Bowl sense any advantage that can possibly be used, will be used. So everybody realizes now that the defensive plan is scrapped and shift to a blitzkrieg like offense. You can't take too long, boys!
While the central part of the pitch stands firm, the flanks are unguarded, leaving us with a possibility of bringing a numerical advantage to the Orcs defensive side in the truest double pincer maneuver from the "Don't try this" - chapter of Sun Tzu's book of war. Also, as can be seen, the kick was great, almost at the touchdown line, forcing the goblin to take the long route and not advancing much towards our end on his turn.


Coach: A blitzer takes the long route along the sole standing Orc's tackle zone in the left flank. That leaves him one short of closing the tackle zone gap in the middle. If that corridor exists, the goblin will certainly use it. Can the blitzer make it?


Coach: He luckily could.

Coach: Next we shift on to pounding the opposition down so they cannot reinforce the ball position. Viscont, you had the beef with that goblin, wanna redeem yourself?



Coach: Viscont goes down AGAIN by the same goblin! Oh Viscont, you never were strong! We do need to consider your continued existence in Reikland Reavers after the match.

[This would cause again a turnover, but I don't see this as a mistake from my side. The most important thing was to bring sufficient number of players towards the ball carrier]

Coach: Let's see if left most Blitzer can reinforce the right hand side tacklezones. That's a 2/3 chance he'll make that dodge!


Coach: He does, leading five human players against two Orcs. I like these numbers. One lineman (white circle) did not move, but against STR 4 Black Orc, he just watches carefully, considers his options and says "Oh hells no!"


Coach: It is AI's turn, and it does shuffle some players around.


Coach: Did he just??!!!


Coach: The Black Orc blocks the lineman, and leaves room for the goblin to run past.

Coach: ... and the opposing coach indeed left the ball carrier goblin sandwiched between two of our blitzers! [WTF AI???]

So Manfred Wendel checks his blitzing options, but because human catchers are STR 2 and the gobbo is STR 2, the two additional blitzers bring the total strength to +4, one short of three die block. Hence the Manfred's participation to the block is unnecessary.


Coach: Baldric, our left flank Blitzers, does the deed. Since he wants to show he ain't no Hieronymus, he rolls Both Down and takes it like a champ. The ball scatters away from the knocked goblin.


Coach: To make this less risky, Catcher Manfred Wendel secures the ball by going between it and the last standing Orc.


Coach: Before picking up the ball with a blitzer, let's see if that's actually the less riskiest play available.
Butt seems to be surrounded by three orcs, leading to one die block against any of them.

Butt: "I got 'em right where I want 'em!"

That's right, there's a good lad. But don't press the attack.


Coach: Hieronymus the unlucky Blitzer considers blocking the orc thrower again, but given his recent performance, it is a no-go.


Coach: Instead of that, our left flank Blitzer Eomund Fentleberry braves the pick-up chances and Goes For It!




Coach: Way to go Eomund!

To be continued

I think I'm only going to post the first half here as the idea was to give you a picture what kind of game this is. Which, hopefully, this series does.

I'm seeing Orcs and Chaos being popular, playing Orcs could be fun, Chaos is fun (but you'll be more challenged to write proper bickering between the Chaos beastmen), while Skaven and Dark Elves (a.k.a Emos) could probably offer best role-playing chances for that.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 06, 2016, 05:16:15 pm
Click here to expand the final post of the tutorial
Hidden Text: Show

Since we scored, we will kick once again - with the same scatter


And as for the kick of event, it can't get worse than pitch invasion or blitz.


Coach: Oh you gotta be s****ing me

The extend of the damage can only be seen from the aerial image, all the players with red circles around them are stunned and will remain prone until next turn. We only have six players available for this turn, and one of them is lying on the ground [Viscont, he just got blocked again by the Goblin! One of these days...! ] - and one of them is an Ogre. So effectively four players to secure the ball. Which just happens to be almost in our zone, luckily the closest orc also got stunned during the invasion.


Manfred Wendel, the Catcher with a capital C, jumps up and mutters: "Man's gotta do what man's gotta do", and promptly catches the ball. However, he also needs to secure it, and with four players available, this is going to be difficult. A brilliant idea strikes his mind and he moves the ball backwards, among the stunned Reavers. Since the rules do not allow stepping on the players on the ground, this will limit the available options Orcs have to Blitz him. He succeeds in the Go For It.


Coach: Eomund Rudil, our Kicker / Thrower, immediately picks up what's going on and runs to assist. He takes a risky Go For It, as the Black Orc must be contained, or else we face the possibility of the Horde scoring.


Coach: He as well succeeds.

Coach: Seeing as his team mates do everything they can to protect Manfred, Catcher Eomund Tonkai takes a deep breath, and runs harder than he ever ran, succeeding in dodging out of the Orcs tackle zone. He secures the frontal sector of the ball carrier, now forcing 1 die blitz against him.


Coach: Finally, heartened by what he just witnessed, Edwin Advar throws a one dice block against Eyepuke the Black Orc, and succeeds!
[The sequence of all these events happening as they did had a probability of 15 %, so that almost makes us even with Hieronymus failing at 97%... ]


Coach: We simply ran out of options, that's all we can do, and it's the Orcs go.


Coach: Orc blitzer has eyes on the ball carrier, but seeing that it is still only a one die block, decides against it. (It would have been two die block had the blitzer attacked from the square next to the border. This however, is highly unadvisable due to the rowdy crowds in Blood bowl)


Coach: On the other hand, Viscount the Loser is being harassed by a Orc Blitzer and the obnoxious goblin he so far has failed to knock down. Maybe it is karma? The Blitzer gets a clean hit and lands Viscount.

Coach: Luckily the Orc strength is so scattered they are not able press the offense further, and it is our turn again. A cunning plan forms in my head as I instruct the players. We are going to hit hard through the right flank, which is only guarded by two Goblins. This attack can then be reinforced from the now awake left hand side players. The only thing we need to do is to punch through the Orc Blitzer!


Coach: Hieronymus, take the charge!


Coach: Since it is an Orc Blitzer, he also has block skill. Since Hieronymus rolls double Both Downs, the result is two blitzers slapping each other and after the embarrasing encounter just eyeballing each other. Great going guys. Hieronymus, goddamit!

Coach: Eomund Tonkai, it's your go! You have to get rid of that Blitzer!


Coach: Godf***ingdammit! Since Tonkai failed
[This would be a turnover and a possible opening for Orcs scoring on the first half if the actual rules were in place. Though I don't know what I could've done otherwise, given the Pitch invasion and all that.]

Coach: Change of plans! Manfred, get your ass on the center of the pitch, NOW!


Coach: He miraculously succeeds the dodge, and escapes the Orc blitzer who is now perpexingly faced with the prospect of dealing with two human Blitzers and a Catcher. Say good night, Gracie!

Coach: The rest of the available players cage around the catcher to make the Orc blitzing as hard as they possibly could.


Coach: The Orcs press the attack, but the final Oomph is missing, leaving us with a nice chance of keeping the ball and extending forwards. Edwin goes down as Eyepuke approaches the ball carrier.


Coach: Gorfang, the obnoxious goblin, has had enough of making Viscount look like a sissy and engages our blitzer Eomund Fentleberry, assisted by Orc Blitzer. Unfortunately, the goblin rolls both down, and with the blitzer being trained against opponents falling on him, punches the poor goblin back. Hard. So much of the invincible Gorfang, this time he messed with a guy he shouldn't have messed with.


Coach: Our eight turn begins with a safe feeling: due to the way their players moved, and due to the lack of the big Troll in their team, they cannot score anymore on the first half. The players feel relaxed, but for certainty's sake they still maneuver to secure the ball. Baldric smashes the first goblin, showing Hieronymus how it's done. Count those teeth, sucker!


Coach: Manfred decides to change sides, this maneuver would place the humans in to advantage as the Orcs are then displaced and most likely could not react fast enough to respond to the now looming threat of touchdown happening on the next turn. Unfortunately, that is one turn too much for Reavers, as this is their final turn on the first half.


Coach: He fails the dodge roll, and gets tackled by the Black Orc. Zumzum!

[This would be a turnover, but I don't think this could be called a mistake from my part. I could've ended the turn once I got it, but the idea here is to minimize the casualty possibility in the actual games by leaving as few players marked as possible]

Coach: Remember your training Manfred! Do a roll!


Coach: Marquis, go get that ball, pronto!


[Anybody else wondering his name, Marquis Smutzer? As in "Smutzer, Marquis Smutzer"]

Coach: The ball is secured, and our lineman runs from back to assist Butt on his block.

Butt: "Me need no assists!"

Coach: Yeah, but you'll get one anyways. The lineman is a nuisance at that spot anyways.


Coach: Eomund Fentleberry sees all this and says, "It's now between you and me, pal" to the Orc Blitzer, and initiates a one die (gasp!)


He succeeds, leaving us in a rather secured position. The Orc offense on the following turn is uneventful, and the players scurry to the locker room, probably to play with the towels. Ready to the challenges of the second half.


That concludes my introduction to the Blood Bowl mechanics. Randomness and unpredictability is the name of the game, and as a coach you'll have to learn to cope with the uncertainty. The game can indeed infuriate once you play it for the couple of first dozen games, but you'll learn to appreciate the variation and challenges. The replayability is almost infinite, and the game has been played for next to 25 years starting from the table tops, so there won't be that many balancing issues left... I didn't cover lots of the player skills (including the already infamous Really Stupid), but I think we can do it once I create the team. But I'll have to say Block is a good skill.

If you liked this and would like to participate in this LP, just write your preferred role and the favored team option. I'll probably create the team tomorrow.

The players in each team are (with maximum number of each class, 16 players is the cap for players in a team):

Chaos Warriors x 4
Beastmen x 16
Minotaur (Big guy) x1

Linerat x 16
Thrower x 2
Gutter Runner (multipurpose catcher, also the fastest player in the game) x 4
Stormvermin (blitzer) x 2
Rat Ogre (Big guy) x 1

Linemen x 16
Thrower x 2
Black Orc x 4
Blitzer x 4
Goblin (not sure of the numbers)
Troll (Big guy who can throw the goblin - on failure he'll eat him) x 1

Dark elves (aka the Emos)
Assassin x 2
Line elf x 16 ( I suppose)
Blitzer x 4 (not sure if 4 or 2)
Runners x 2
Witch elf (just wait till you see this one :) ) x2
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 07, 2016, 11:43:00 am
Troll (Big guy who can throw the goblin - on failure he'll eat him) x 1
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 01:44:29 pm
Troll (Big guy who can throw the goblin - on failure he'll eat him) x 1

Know what? You're right!

We shall indeed start with an Orc team, with an overall description such as:


The team is of course HLPBowlers that runs with a motto "Piling modders on!"  (Booyah!). You'll realize the pun some games later.

We wear hornet logos 'cuz we dance like butterfly and sting like bee, and the uniform color theme is the always stylish black and red.


Our stadium is called Da Big Bowl, 'cuz with Orcs it can't be anything less


We take three re-rolls (that each allow re-rolling a failed dice roll), trust me, we are going to need all of them! I believe we won't be able to afford an apothecary that allows re-rolling an injury (but there's no guarantee). We can't afford Bloodweiser babes either.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 02:01:23 pm
Spoon, meet your new alterego, Spoon the Troll.


Your start up skills include:
Loner - Which means team re-rolls have a 50 % chance of working when you screw up. I suppose you're loner because you are big and not so smart. You also look about as dumb as you are.
Throw Team-mate - You can throw team mates who have the skill Right stuff. In this case, that means goblins, the rest of the Orcs are just too big to throw even for you.
Your also Always Hungry, which means that you'll have a 1/6 chance of eating the unfortunate goblin if the throw roll is failed.
You have Mighty Blow, which adds +1 to the result of the armor break roll or injury roll. If the armor roll result itself exceeds the armor value, the +1 is added to the injury roll instead.
You are also Really Stupid, the bane of more reasonable team mates who often have to stand next to you telling you what to do. Effectively this means that without an adjacent player of your own team next to you, you'll have 50 % chance of failing what you were supposed to do. With a team mate next to you, the chance is reduced to 1/6.
Being a Troll, you can also Regenerate, meaning that after receiving an injury or getting killed, you'll have a 50 % chance to regenerate from the injury. Regeneration happens after the apothecary roll has been made if available.

You are the strongest and slowest dude in the team, starting with Strength 5 and Movement Allowance 4. With Agility 1, there's no hope for you to escape anybody's tackle zone and picking up the ball is akin to a miracle. You also sport a strong Armor Value of 9, meaning that the armor roll has to be at least 10 (with two dice) to break your armor - that means averagely every sixth block you receive can break your armor.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 02:12:11 pm
Swashmebuckle, you get to be our thrower. While the Orc team doesn't really excel in throwing game, you can always try. The main ball recipients are Orc Blitzers and Goblins, in the abscence of dedicated Catchers in the Orc team.

Your massive skill set includes Pass and Sure Hands.

Pass means you'll automatically re-roll any passing attempt if you fail it. If you fail even that, it'll cause an instant turnover. Sure Hands means you'll automatically re-roll any ball pick-up attempt after failure. If you fail that re-roll, it's an instant turnover. Since any event can only be re-rolled once, that means the role of these skills is to save the team re-rolls for something more important. Basically, your are likely going to be a turnover machine with occasional wins with game winning passes.

You sport a Movement allowance of 5, which is not great but not slow either, your strength is average 3 that is about the average all teams considered. You sport Agility of 3 that is also average, so you'll have a 67 % chance to pick-up the ball from the ground, and about 67 % chance to succeed throwing it. You'll automatically re-roll those, leading to about 89 % probability of success. Trust me, you'll fail more often than you'd think. However, those failures are likely going to be epic. You have always hoped for being more agile as that would make you a much better thrower, a game changer.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 02:18:12 pm
Scourge of Ages the Black Orc is our mainstay in the line of scrimmage, ready to punch, block and crush any players foolish enough to venture on to his proximity (well except the Chaos Warriors of whom you shall run like a sissy).


Being a big guy liking the action close by, you don't have any special skills.

That is offset by you having Strength 4, guaranteeing two dice unassisted blocks against any weaklings. With Movement Allowance 4, you are as slow as the Troll. But not as dumb. You have an Agility of 2, meaning you'll have a 50 % of escaping anybody's tackle zone (i.e. guaranteed to fail). But you weren't gonna run anyways, you ain't that sort of guy. With Armor Value 9, you can stand firm on the Line of Scrimmage with relative safety and look down upon the weaklings. And run like a sissy when faced with Chaos Warrior or Beastmen with Claw skill, as your armor is akin to paper mache for them. Anybody else you don't need to worry about. Much.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 02:26:35 pm
Mammothtank, you'll be our Blitzkrieg machine. Your role is going to be Blitzing, and thus you don the role of Orc Blitzer.


With a jaw line like that you can probably Blitz with your jaw alone.

You sport Block skill, meaning you'll treat Both down result on any blocks made as if nothing happened. This will decrease your chance of failure for each block by 1/6, meaning that any one die block you make has about 83 % chance to not cause an instant turnover (without Block that would be 67%). Which is much loved. You can still fail one die blocks 17 % of the time, and that will cause me to use a team re-roll as the Blitzer blocks are typically very important. If the team re-roll fails, it's an instant turnover!

You are the fastest Orc on the team with a Movement Allowance of 6, only the Goblin being slightly faster. But that weakling is not an Orc to begin with anyways so it sorta doesn't count.
Your strength is the average 3, so you'll typically need assists. With Agility 3, you pick-up balls with the probability of 67 %, and dodge from tackle zones equally well. You are our make-do ball carrier. With Armor Value 9, it's unlikely they could hurt you. Except the Claw wielding bad guys.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 07, 2016, 02:31:40 pm
Now, late participation in the actual game is going to be more difficult once the team is created. If you think this could be cool, now is the time to join. After the team has been created, you'll either have to wait until we have sufficient cash to hire you or that somebody dies. This is because renaming the players is not possible after they have been hired.

What it comes to the tournament I think we are going to do a Round-Robin tournament where every team plays against every team, with a probable number of teams around 20 - 24. That'll give a couple of months of Blood Bowl gaming.

Perhaps some of you will become superstars during that time.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on March 07, 2016, 04:39:41 pm
I'll play!  I'll be either a Black Orc or a Blitzer, whichever works best.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mammothtank on March 07, 2016, 06:12:43 pm
That class sounds exactly like me. Yay!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 07, 2016, 07:10:45 pm
Spoon, meet your new alterego, Spoon the Troll.


Your start up skills include:
Loner - Which means team re-rolls have a 50 % chance of working when you screw up. I suppose you're loner because you are big and not so smart. You also look about as dumb as you are.
Me no stoopid! Me handsome troll, momma always says so!  :hopping:
You look at picture, and tell me that not handsomest troll you ever seen!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on March 07, 2016, 07:28:37 pm
Orc smaaaaaash!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 01:04:08 pm
Following the footsteps of Mammothtank the Blitzer, Scotty the Blitzer jump on the team

Scotty, your skills are the same as Mammoth's. It's uncanny, as if you were coming from an assembly line!

Me no stoopid! Me handsome troll, momma always says so! 
You look at picture, and tell me that not handsomest troll you ever seen!

Yes yes, you are indeed quite special!

The team will have a rather unusual (to say the least) composition:
Gobbo x 1                                                        - ??
Black Orc x 4                                                    - Scourge, 3 x ???
Blitzer x 2 (Orc Blitzers are bloody expensive) - Scotty and Mammothtank
Lineorc x 2                                                       - ???
Troll x 1                                                            - Spoon
Thrower x 1                                                     - Swashmebuckle

Total players: 11, can't afford more at this point. Depending how it goes, I think lineorcs will get replaced by Blitzers when we have the cash. Or not, having extra players is not a bad thing at this point.

You'll have have about 20 minutes to reserve your name while I'm eating, after that IT IS MATCH TIME!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 01:24:14 pm
Introducing to you the HLPBowlers team!


The team has a focus on line of scrimmage blocking with the aid of the Spoon the Troll, and with the Black Orcs Blackbelt Jones, Black Dynamite, Black Knight and Scourge of Ages.

They are assisted by the Lineorcs Tukost and Rakmar.

Thrower is Swashmebuckle, and our goblin is aptly named Schnack.

Their first match is against Humies, wish them luck!

EDIT: Oh my God if the first match is of any indication, this is gonna be epic
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 04:01:17 pm
HLPBowlers first game Post #1

Hidden Text: Show
Cue Enter the Gladiators!


Let the camera roll at the Latin stand-off

That's Schnakc, Spoon and Mammothtank right there!


The referee throws the coin


And we win the kick-off, and select to receive


This is our offensive line-up, with the meat grinder of the Big Five at the Line of Scrimmage, while Blitzers Scotty and Mammothtank are supported by the linemen. Understandably, humies left only three players to face the Big Five.


And it's a go!

I dunno but it's moments like these that make an old hardened Blood Bowl veteran shed a tear of joy

The Humies kick nearby, which is good. Form defense around the ball before blocks or pick-ups! Chop chop!
[Oh, and at the top of the screen you'll see a red thermometer, signalling it is hot outside.]


The first line of defense is ready, no Orc could screw this up.


Thrower, you go now!

Swashmebuckle makes it, so beat the crap outta humies

Scourge, you first!


And it's a push, push him to Blackbelt Jones! :drevil:



And so abruptly ends our first turn. Nuffle giveth, Nuffle taketh.

Humies blitz Mammothtank, but do not realize he is literally a tank. An embarrasing "slap" is heard echoing around the stadium with an astonished Jekil observing his fist wondering why it didn't do anything.
(Both have Block)


The rest of their turn is uneventful positioning moves, with Humie blitzers approaching from the east.

Feeling that any protection offered by Schnakc could be drastically inadequate, Swashmebuckle moves forwards next to Scourge and Blackbelt Jones. Try and punch these guys down will ya, sucka.


And now we block. Black Dy-na-mite goes first, but it's push.


Black Knight on the right hand flank Blocks, and it's a clean hit! Unfortunately, the lineman's armor holds, and he just lands on his back, being richer on the experience.


Spoon, yer up!


Spoon, you don't have Block yet, rolling Both Down knocks you too!


Well at least you took Hildred with you.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 08, 2016, 04:25:25 pm
Hildred Valdred got trolled
That means their team will be down a man for a while right?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 05:03:49 pm
HLPBowlers first game Post #2

Hidden Text: Show

Dem 'umies reinforce the center area, and blitz Mammothtank again. Some people just don't learn.


The fans are slightly amused as the slap echoes again, scaring the crows at the injury pit.
Da 'umies got scared and retreated the blitzers, with no further actions of importance.

Spoon, stand up you horrible little Troll!


[Sigh] Somebody teach him how to get back up on his feet.

Mammothtank, take out that Blitzer, Schnakc supports you!


This time the astonished player is Mammothtank. Da Humie Jekil ain't a sissy either. Stop scaring the crows, guys!

Scotty, yer our trailblazer! Blitz the lino to make room!


It's a push. Swashmebuckle and linos, reform the cage next to Black Knight and Black Dynamite!
(In case you are wondering why the Black Orcs did not block, that is because they are necessary players in the cage, and it would be stoopid to get them prone. Let da humies take da risk)

On their turn, humies blitz the weakest link of the cage, the bottom right hand side which is protected by the line orc who doesn't have block.


It's a push, but a dangerous push, as now their blitzer is next to Swashmebuckle, giving him serious concerns about his immediate future.


Next, humies block Scotty, but Scotty laughs at the petty blocking attempt, humiliating the weak catcher while at it.


Apparently, their men are as ****ty as mine


Now, dat Blitzer feels lonely (hur hur)

But focus on da ball first. Spoon, get your ass back there!



Up to this day I can hear the loud Uhhmmm? like it was yesterday.

Blackbelt Jones, reinforce the right hand side, pronto!


Rakmar, you HAVE to block that blitzer! I don't care you have no block or any such silliness, DO EEET!


No that ain't even close to acceptable -- RE-ROLL! (Re-roll count = 3)


And it works, the blitzer harrassment is stopped as Marquis lies prone on the pitch, trying to catch the register number of the train that just went past. Well done Rakmar!


Back to the battle of left flank, featuring Mammothtank and Jekil. Licking his lips, Mammothtank rolls the dice


Unfortunately, it's a push, but at least the Mexican stalemate is over. Since Jekil is pushed towards Scourge, and Scourge benchlifts more than Jekil, Scourge gives him a go, eager to get rid of the nuisance to show Mammothtank how it is done.

It doesn't work out, and Scourge finds himself on the ground, at the feet of grinning Jekil.



Jekil immediately seizes the advantage and blitzes Schnakc who reinforced the cage just for this eventuality.


And promptly knocks out Schnakc. Scourge, you can really blame this on yourself. Well, there won't be any goblin throwin' now. Hopefully you are proud of yourself.


Once again the human blitzers harass our Swashmebuckle, who is frantically waving his arms and shouting "Haaaalp!" Luckily, no direct assault on ball carrier occurs, but the situation is grave.

Thus our first action on the next turn is to blitz the crap out of that blitzer. Mammothtank, you'll get a chance to redeem yourself. This action requires one Go For It, don't fail me now.



So Mammothtank makes the Go For It, but the dice are a no go. You'll HAVE to do better than dat! RE-ROLL! (Re-roll count = 2)

The next one is a clean punch straight to da head, sending Jekil flying, and knocking him out for good, but it's unclear if it was the punch or the hard landing. So ends the battle between the titans, with Mammothtank standing victorious uttering "Go knock yerself out, punk!"


Blackbelt Jones blocks next, and it's good. Despite his strength and size, he doesn't manage to get a reaction other than a knockdown. Rein Wulf laughs and shouts "Didn't feel a fing!"


The backside of the cage now being secured, it's time to punch forwards. Blackbelt Jones knocks down a pesky lino in front of the cage, but the armor holds.


Swashmebuckle and ball finally arrive to the humies side of the pitch.


With our strength spent, it's time to hand over the turn to the opposition.

They first blitz Scotty, and it is a push. Our cage is now being threatened from the right front sector.


Their lino takes a one die block against Black Dynamite, and manages a push. Hey, it's better than nothing.


Finally, Gordon Fleisch makes an astonishing move and takes a block against the relocated Black Dynamite. This is astonishing because it is a two dice block against, meaning that the Orcs pick up the result. Yeah, it sucks to be weak.


I leave it upon the readers imagination which selection was taken.

The block suddenly turns to a counter block, with Black Dynamite laughing out loud: "Hah! That tickled!" and then punches Gordon hard enough so that the helmet and the man separate in mid-air. It's a knock-out!


That teaches you to mess with a Black Orc!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 08, 2016, 05:12:55 pm
Too stoopid too stand up twice  :lol:
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 06:11:37 pm
First game post #3

Hidden Text: Show
Our front sector is now pressed on all directions, and the turn timer is running at 6.

We are running out of time, start to run to towards the finish line! There ain't no reinforcements coming, you are on your own!

Black Knight takes the block against thrower with relative safety, and knocks him to ground


Black Dynamite follows the suit, and connects his fist with Viscount's eye socket. It a perfect match!



One would think humans would invest in tighter helmets given how often they separate from the player mid-air

Mammothtank secures the right hand side of the pitch, looking for a true breakthrough offense. "Pushing forwards!", he utters.

But before the actual breakthrough can begun, some of our forces need to be disengaged. Blackbelt Jones blocks Marquis Urquhart in attempt to free the linemen. Come on guys, all you need is a push!


It's a push, and our attack can now begin. The cage rolls forwards.

The cage having moved what it can, Scourge eyes on Goran Rainer: "Mama said knock ya out!"
Goran Rainer: "Can't we just talk this over?"


Unfortunately, no armor break. I'm sort of disappointed in Scourge.

Spoon, I know you're alone there, but run there and Blitz dat catcher.



[Sigh] That was apparently too complicated instruction.

Scotty, do what Spoon just failed to do!

He manages a push, but that's OK, now the cage corner players are disengaged. Our strength is spent, and it's time to hand the turn to opposition.

They blitz Blackbelt Jones, and roll a skull. Re-rolled to Both down, and since their blitzer has block and Blackbelt Jones doesn't, Jones goes down, and gets pissed off in the process.

Next a catcher tries to escape the proximity of a Black orc. It's a smart move, but Black Dynamite is faster, and tackles the git. "Where's your Dodge now, loser?!"



The coach is now chewing bubble gum so hard he appears to be ruminating. It's a make or break situation, all cards are on his hands.
The humies only marked the lineman at the bottom of the cage. Blitzers and Swashmebuckle are free to press the attack. But that would leave the ball carrier unsecured.


Thus the Thrower must be eliminated. This requires two actions to be successful: Black Dynamite has to block Detlet, and then Black Knight must blitz the Thrower. Only pushes are required. Dynamite goes first and it's a clean hit. No armor break results.

Black Knight blitzes the Thrower, and it's a clean hit. Unfortunately, the armor holds.


The cage lifts the clutch and runs


Scoring is now almost certain. Now that the situation has been solved, we get back to our standard punching. Goran Rainer opposes the Orc control of the pitch by standing up, an action of which Scourge is not fond of. He throws a block at the hapless thrower, but it's a push. A clever idea comes to his mind, and he pushes the Thrower next to Spoon. Now that he can whisper to the Troll what he should do, Spoon cannot fail!

Spoon manages to get his act together and throws a block! It's a first one for this game. Unfortunately, it's also going to be his last.


Despite the Mighty Blow, the Thrower remains conscious and well, and lands softly to the pitch. No further actions are reasonable, so it is a turnover to the opposition.

Seeing the immediate scoring possibility, humies throw everything they can, which isn't much. They blitz the corner of the cage, and knock Tukosl down.

In desperation to free up his players, they next throw a two die block against a Black orc

And win. You lucky sonuva*****es. Jones goes down, but not out.

Our last turn looks good. Get rid of that pesky Blitzer, and it's a score.


The surrounding players crowd around the hapless Blitzer, and Scotty takes a counter blitz

It's a push. Scotty! Push is enough, but we were expecting injury or KO!

A reasonable man would score now, but I never said I was one. Instead, we take the blocks we can, believing in the all mighty re-roll should the things go awry.

Scourge punches Goran once again "Ya like this, don't cha?" he asks as the fist connects. Still no armor break, and Spoon watches the action blissfully unaware of the cruel world around him.

Black Knight blocks the thrower. It's a good punch, but lacks that critical bone cruching quality.

The thrower is down once again.

Black Dynamite tries his luck with a catcher, but it is just a knock down. With all the blocks done, Swashmebuckle looks at his options, and considers passing to Mammothtank who is slightly ahead. He thinks for a second, and ...

Screw it

While Swashmebuckle is doing his victory dance, the camera rolls through the benches.

Schnakc remains unconscious

Three out of four knocked out humans wake up (concussion anyone?)

It's time to set-up defensively, but wait, why do I have only 9 players on the pitch?


Apparently, Blackbelt Jones has collapsed under the heat and lies on our reserves pitch! Get your ass up there, orc!

Blackbelt Jones: "It's sooooo hot today"

Goddammit, we are 9 against 10, but it's luckily only human turn before half time.

Swashmebuckle, I trust you can manage to get that ball on the pitch, eh?

It's good kick, and

Yeah, that would be good if our defense wasn't already perfect!

Humies reinforce the left flank with a blitzer

And blitz our lino with another, netting a two dice block.

Sometimes you just can't roll sixes all the time.


It's half time and players run to the locker room, probably to slap each other with towels.

Come to think of it, I don't want to know how an Orc locker room smells like.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 08, 2016, 06:33:08 pm
Too stoopid too stand up twice

Once he failed the roll for the fourth time, I couldn't help but laugh.

This has seriously been one of the more awesome games in the recent history. But the first half doesn't even come close to the second half.

I admit there's foreshadowing, some of the things that will happen could be predicted from the first half.

Unfortunately I do have to sleep, so till tomorrow!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on March 08, 2016, 06:56:41 pm
Scourge...  not cord'nated. Put all ability points in big punching, not enough standing up or on pointy-hitty.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 02:53:29 pm
First game vs Humies, Second half post #1

Hidden Text: Show
After a short refreshing break the players return to the pitch


Uh guys? I seem to notice I only have 6 players on the pitch. Where da rest?

A quick glance to da reserves bench tells a saddening story


Spoon, Scourge, Black Knight and Scotty are lying on da reserves pit, and Schnakc is still unconscious!

Coach: "Whatta hell guys, it's game time, happy time!"

Scotty: "But coach, it's so hoooooot"

Scourge: "Too heavy to play this weather"

Black Knight: "Can't concentrate on punching while sweating"

Spoon: "Uhhmmmmm?"

Godddammit, with half of da team missing in action, or actually sunbathing on da reserves pit, it doesn't look good for da second half.

Swashmebuckle has no option but to kick da ball, we shall NOT concede against da humies!


He manages to get it on da opposition side, but this time da kick ain't good. Despite 50 % losses, at least da Orc fans are cheering, inspiring remaining players!


On their turn, humans pick-up da ball, advance on da right hand side, and then blitz Tukost. That didn't go particularly well.



First we check da range of da lino who picked up da ball. Luckily he is far enough on da humies side so that in da event of a breakthrough attempt, we have two turns to react.


With six players on da pitch, all risk management goes outta window, and on dis half our strategy is to take any opportunities presented, regardless of da risk. Since da ball is on da left hand flank, we reinforce da left hand side wiv Swashmebuckle to stop any scoring attempts skimming da borderline.

Wiv da objective of blitzing the ball carrier dis turn if possible, Blackbelt Jones starts to clear out da space, taking risky 2 die block against da humie blitzer and succeeds with a clear punch to da head.


Black Dynamite reinforces da left hand side as we need a gate keeper there. Running with a 83 % probability of reaching dat spot, he presses on and makes it! Unfortunately, blitzing da carrier wiv Mammothtank is not possible without considerable risk of failing (two Go For Its AND a one dice block).


Mammothtank blitzes da pesky thrower on da way. Since dem are equally beefy, only one dice is thrown. Mammothtank has block, so da odds are in his favor.


It's a slam, but that doesn't stop Mammothtank on his tracks. Oh no, he proceeds to harass the dal carrier wiv a Go For It. Amazingly, it works.


And that's our turn!

Humie blitzes Mammothtank, and rolls double skulls, but hey, you can't win everytime! Opponent decides to re-roll this, and da result knocks Mammoth down, but he is not out, not by a far shot.


With da blitz exhausted to clear da ball carrier and our forces forming a bottleneck, advancement possibilities are small and da ball carrier moves only slightly forwards. Da opponent vents his frustration by blocking Rakmar who guards da right flank, completely unrelated to da action.


Despite 2:1 advantage, da result is a push, and we get to play next.

Black Dynamite sees a lone Thrower, and any player injured is a win for us, he takes a shot. The thrower is stunned, and will gather his bearings on da ground for da next turn. That's a major victory at this point!

Blackbelt Jones takes a shot to da weak human Catcher, but manages only a push.

Mammothtank then is just in range of Blitzing the ball carrier, but this requires dodging away from da humie Blitzer, taking two Go For Its and finish of the job wiv a one die block. Luckily da opponent doesn't have da block skill, so while da tables are skewed against him, Mammoth utters "No pain no gain" and starts to rev up dat engine. Astonishing as it is, he makes it without re-roll!


And injures da opponent in da process - Viscount Smutzer is badly hurt, and will not be able to return for dis game. He earns two Star Player Points for da exploit!

Da ball scatters behind da lineman, and then Tukost runs in to assist guarding the ball. With four Orcs watching da ball, picking it up won't be easy.


On their part, humies Blitz da weakest link, Tukost. He falls on da ball which scatters behind da humies. Dis turn of events is highly unfortunate for us, as it just seemed we would be able to gain control of da ball.



With da ball wedged between two humies and only Swashmebuckle guarding it, a lineman moves in to pick up da ball, no doubt thinking quick score here. Luckily, Black Dynamite is awake, and tackles da bastard.


The opponent re-rolls dodge, and lino makes it dis time. He then proceed to pick up da ball


And fails.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 03:14:46 pm
First game, second half, post #2

Hidden Text: Show
How da hell am I supposed to clear dis? Blackbelt, reinforce da left side and tie dat Blitzer! Yea it needs a Go For It but DO EEET!


Miraculously he doesn't stumble and loyally marks da blitzer. Try da move now, pipsqueak, I dare ya!

Blackbelt Jones, block dat Blitzer!

No, dat is a push, not a knock out! Why do dem call you Blackbelt anyway?

Tukost blocks da Catcher, but the Catcher has Dodge, which transform Defender Stumble to Push. Goddamit, stay still while I punch you!


Mammothtank is risking everyding beyond da call of duty, blitzing wiv one die block da thrower. Mammothtank has block, da Thrower does not, and he goes down, stunned.


Swashmebuckle takes da next block, shouting "Hey I'm a thrower not a lineorc!"

Me don't care, have you considered career as blocker?

Swashmebuckle manages to knock da lineman down.

Rakmar finally disenganges from da right flank and reinforces da left with a Go For It. He succeeds.


We have no more actions, and handover to opponent.

Dem players stand up, and catcher dodges the Black Orc tackle and attempts to pick-up da ball!




And fails causing a Turnover!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 03:31:03 pm
First game, second half, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
A turnover is very good

Black Dynamite, get rid of dat Blitzer!


Nonononononono, dat is not good. RE-ROLL! (Reroll count = 3)



Blackbelt Jones, you HAVE to get rid of dat Blitzer!


Oh fer crying out loud are you all looosers?

Rakmar, secure dat right side! Now!

Swashmebuckle, block dat lino! Yea he'll fall on da ball but dat's da point! (1:1 no block skills, no nothing, scary stuff that)


Excellent! Da ball is again next do da Orcs!

Tukost, punch that Catcher agin!





Oooo, by breaking his neck you mission and career killed dat Catcher! He'll live to tell da story, but no more Blood Bowl! (Catchers live by Agility stat, reduction of one is a big no no)

Da ball is now sandwiched between da Orcs


We have no more moves, opponent turn.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 03:56:33 pm
First game, second half, Post #4

Hidden Text: Show
Au revoir Swashmebuckle, sleep well my prince, you served me well



(Yes in Blood Bowl the audience and fans are more dangerous than the players, any unfortunate soul pushed away from the pitch will get kicked and punched by the crowd. Pushing the opponent away from the pitch is referred to as crowdsurfing)

The game is six against five!

Dem humies blitz Tukost next, but it is only a push.

It's our turn now

Mammoth, revenge Swashmebuckle! It's one die, but da Thrower has no block


Angry mob: "THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!"

Blackbelt, punch dat Blitzer down!

[Sigh] Blackbelt, you let me down one more time and I'll sell your tusks to ivoryshoppe!

No more good plays, humie turn!

Humie blitzes Tukost

It's a push

No more humie moves, our turn (we are playing five against five at this point. 55 % casualty ratio...)

Blackbelt, punch dat lino off da pitch!

Look at dem abs, LOOK AT DEM!





Crowd: "THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!" (My mistake, 60 % casualty ratio)

Mammothtank, would you kindly pick up da ball?  ;)



Move yer ass now away from there, go go go! Tukost and Dynamite support!


Dynamite blitzes da Blitzer, and succeeds knocking him down. Threat #1 down!


Go support da ball carrier

Tukost, block da nearest Thrower!

Donnae worry, push is fine lad!

Rakmar eliminate da Blitzer! Push him next to Blackbelt!

Dare I say da tide is turning?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 04:13:37 pm
First game, second half, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
On dem turn, da humies blitz Blackbelt, it is a on die since Blackbelt lifts more than dem both humies.


Blackbelt shrugs off another block and laughs "Hur hur hur dem weak humies"


Orcs turn, humies next to da ball carrier have no guts do anything

Mammothtank check da range of da thrower and blitzer

So if me go here humies cannae reach?


(At this point the humans can only watch as Mammothtank is now outside any human intervention)

Dynamite, punch dat thrower

I said punch, not push! RE-ROLL! (Re-roll count = 2)


Another volunteering for ivory trade?


Dem humies blitz Tukost, and he goes down, but is not stunned.

Mammothtank rolls over the Finish line just on time on turn 16, finalizing the game to 2-0


Yer just a bunch of fame robbin' vultures, you sunbathed da whole second half!

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
We win 30 K

No no no, dat is not enough - RE-ROLL


Dat is better

Swashmebuckle wins the Most Valuable Player award, and LEVELS UP!

Mammothtank is one away from leveling, and Tukost received two SPPs.

The average game stats are:

Swashmebuckle rolls 8 for the level-up, and gets the Block skill. He can now block with the same impunity as the Blitzers.

Perhaps we will find more use for you wiv dat. (Your next skills will likely be related to passing or catching. If you roll Agility, that's an instant pick)

Spoon's failure probabilities were
First block with two skulls (either both down or attacker down): 11 %
Failing to stand up first time due to Really Stupid: 16.6 % (player near)
Failing to stand up second time due to Really Stupid: 16.6 % (player near)
Failing to blitz due to Really Stupid: 50 % (no near players)
Failing the sweltering heat check on second half: 16.6 %

Total probability for this chain of events taking place: 2.5*10^-4 which is 0.25 per mille (= 0.025 %)

Then again, the second half start was so ridiculous that I was laughing out for quite a long time.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 09, 2016, 04:37:16 pm

But even then the Orcs had no concept of their greater role in events. For this was far more than humanity's loss. This day was the day upon which the whole of creation would change forever.

This was the day the High Elves returned.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 09, 2016, 05:34:40 pm
This Spoon-Troll seems like an accurate representation of me. Terrible luck with rng and both lazy and stupid. He's doing me proud.

Of the few blood bowl videos that I've seen online, I don't think I've ever seen one in which both sides were left with so few players like that. Madness.

For those of you who have no idea what is going on (that is probably most of you)
Totalbiscuit did this video once
It's not a short video.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: swashmebuckle on March 10, 2016, 03:37:18 am
As da boss MVP it'z my lot to do da interview so here'z dat. Da boyz played ok out dere but wot really did it wuz dat da humies wuz pink an' puny as humies is. We is green an' tough so we stomped dem good like wot you would expect if you knew wut to expect. It wuz a tuff game mostly becuz sum of our boyz decided it wuz good enuf after da first part an' keeled ova like a buncha lazy grotz so I gotta smash somewun'z bonce at da next teem meeting for dat. Even wen dere wuz humies all ova in da uvver part we wuz all feelin da Waaag! so it wuz a given we wuz gonna give 'em a beatdown.
I'd like to dedicate dis win to Gork for helping us smash 'em, an' let's not forget about Mork who made me fast when I scored da winning score. Da fanz can lick my big 'uns, espeshully da ugly gitz in da front row wot tried ta stomp me. I'm da boss of dis gang 'an dey'll know it soon enuf. I'm not gunna talk about da specyulashun dat Spoon sat on da gobbo at halftime, dis interview is over.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 10, 2016, 02:14:38 pm
As da boss MVP it'z my lot to do da interview so here'z dat. Da boyz played ok out dere but wot really did it wuz dat da humies wuz pink an' puny as humies is. We is green an' tough so we stomped dem good like wot you would expect if you knew wut to expect. It wuz a tuff game mostly becuz sum of our boyz decided it wuz good enuf after da first part an' keeled ova like a buncha lazy grotz so I gotta smash somewun'z bonce at da next teem meeting for dat. Even wen dere wuz humies all ova in da uvver part we wuz all feelin da Waaag! so it wuz a given we wuz gonna give 'em a beatdown.
I'd like to dedicate dis win to Gork for helping us smash 'em, an' let's not forget about Mork who made me fast when I scored da winning score. Da fanz can lick my big 'uns, espeshully da ugly gitz in da front row wot tried ta stomp me. I'm da boss of dis gang 'an dey'll know it soon enuf. I'm not gunna talk about da specyulashun dat Spoon sat on da gobbo at halftime, dis interview is over.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

For some reason the mental picture of this interview just cracks me up every time
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 10, 2016, 04:24:07 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #1

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So yea, me and da Boyz go aginst da High Elves. Bloody Elves! I wish dem was all dead.

Letz have a looksie on dem  team. Incandescent Wings? Muttering: stoopid poncy elfs


Sissies. Dem sissies are rich and famous. Fancy armor and clean clothes.


One of dem linos has Strength 4??? Dat elf is as strong as dem Black Boyz! Beefcake elf!

Now note one thing of da opposition: dem all are Agility 4, dat mean dem elves can dodge away from you dead easy. So dem elves play dishonest game, dem run away from da fight and attack from da rear when you Boyz least expect it.


We buy Apothecary to take care of the wounded. But dem cannae save you always.

Start da match!

Dem elves hire Bloodweiser Babes. Dem women pretty, wiv big tankards. Dat helps stunned elves get up fasta.

PINK??!! PINK??!!

Murderize dem Boyz!


Referee throws da coin, we win agin


We attack in straight line dis time, da boyz names are marked now

Pfffft! Dem elves THROW da ball??!! Wiv hands? Dat's cheating!

High Elf player: "But my shoes would get dirty!"

Kill dem Boyz, I heard enugh

Da boyz can move closer - good good

Da THROW lands between Swashmebuckle and Schnakc


Dem elves cannae reach, so we punch first.


Black Knight, I said PUNCH, not PUSH.

Scourge does betta


But dat is just a stun.

Mammothtank blitz! All he manages is a push.

Mammothtank go protect da ball

In case anybody was wondering why I retreated the blitzer the idea lies in the fact that he makes a strong cage corner player (with block skill) in the position that is most likely the one blitzed if the elves decide to go for the ball.

Scotty, go to da corner!

Continue punching! Blackbelt Jones pushes da blitzer.

How many time must I tell you, PUNCH, not PUSH!

Tukost, close the central attack line to da cage

Black Dynamite secures da right side, but no injury.

Swashmebuckle takes advantage of hiz Sure Hands skill. This woulda been turnover if he had not it. Good lad

Schnakc go center, dat is da safest for ya

Spoon blocks last wiv a double POW, but manages no injury.

On dem turn, dem elves run away from Orcs, but da Black Boyz are vigilant

High elf: "I fell? Fell?! On the ground! That's dirty!"


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 10, 2016, 04:49:41 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show

Swashmebuckle, go to better cover behind da meat wall


Mammothtank revs dat blitzing engine again, and shouts "Armor superiority!"

Since he has betta armor, da lineman goes down

Da lineorcs protect Swashmebuckle from da rear, and Scotty engages da right flank

Blackbelt Jones smashes da lineman one step too close, but does not break armor

Black Dynamite pushes da Blitzer.

And dat is our turn.

Black Dynamite gets blocked in return

Blackbelt Jones gets a punch to da face too

Da beefcake elf punches Scotty, Scotty goes down

Coach: stop dying you cowards!

Black Knight takes a push, finally stopping da offensive elves

And da Orcs are ready for turn 3.

Aaand more of this game tomorrow
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 11:56:43 am
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #3

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Unusually, Spoon takes the lead on this turn. Come'on man, punch through the elf lines! We need them front to collapse!


Well that's not exactly what I had in mind

Scourge and Blackdynamite start to pull their weight and stun two elfies

Their expression is almost poetic

Mammothtank runs to assist the right flank against the beefcake elf.

...and receives a push on the elves turn from that beefcake elf.

Rest of their turn is uneventful.

We start the turn with a rather unusual elf positioning, next to all of their players are on a straight line and punchable, which is not common for the elves.

Spoon is back to his normal self, I was starting to get worried.
Spoon: "Wait, me push or punch?"

While the Black Orcs are pulling their weight again, but no injuries here. Come on guys, aim better!

Scotty blocks the beefcake elf, and knocks him out! Well done Scotty!


Scotty: "Haha humie got punched!"

Black Dynamite blocks the flanking elf


And stuns him. A couple of pushes later, we hand the turn to the elves, who mainly retreat and start defensive play typical for elves, called the elf curtain. They leave as few players as possible to get punched, but this arrangement effectively blocks the access forwards with a double layer of their players. Remember, only one player can blitz per turn.


However, Black Dynamite's block has left the curtain open at a critical point, and guess which side we will advance on?

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 12:25:17 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #4

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That's right


All available Orcs advance on the right flank! And you too Schnakc!

The rest of you in the middle, block, block as if you had never blocked before!

Spoon blitzes  :eek2:

And manages to stay on his feet at least

Scourge repeats the experiment

I'm seeing a distinct lack of injury here boyz.

Scourge being alone is likely an elf player magnet, so...

*Puts on sunglasses*

I guess you could call yourself blocked.


It's elves turn, and here it comes:

Black Dynamite eats it:


Seriously, what the hell are they feeding to these elves?

Our first move, and Scotty retaliates:

Hey man you're doing quite well this time, actually contributing to the game and all that.

Black Knight blocks, and Ka-pows the line elf

Quick! Somebody show him more 1960s Batman clips!

We want the rear guard to be free, but it's a no go

RE-ROLL! This one is a good punch, and the elf is stunned.

Mammothtank advances to scare the crap outta the curtaining elf

High elf: "Hey, you're supposed to stay where you are when we make an elf curtain"


You just have to take one for the team once again (actually, you'd need to do this anyways against human player, he'd foul the lying Scourge)

Come to think of it, Spoon, go help Scourge

You would, wouldn't you?

Seeing his position being a bit *ahem* compromised by the last two actions, Swashmebuckle ventures into the relative safety of the pitch borderline. Hey at least there's several orcs between you and the elves!

Scourge takes it like a champ

Oh the elves are playing the dodge game again

... well that didn't last (AI RE-ROLL)

"We have a maximum movement of eight squares, eight squares to score, two turns left, it's bright and we're not wearing sunglasses"

Hit it!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 01:00:24 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #5

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Since the elves have reinforced the direct path too strong to attack, even the Orcs have to find an alternative.

Being at the right hand border line, the brilliant strategy is now to extend towards left.

This requires two blocks to succeed, boyz, we do wanna smack the elves, do we? Black Dynamite, punch the lino away!

Scotty engages the Thrower
... and knocks him down, but no stun or KO. (Or injury but that seems to be too much to ask from this team)

Mammothtank follows the suit, and Goes For It. Miraculously, no fall. That 83 % man, that's gonna get us at some point.

Black Knight encloses the lower left corner of the cage

Swashmebuckle, how you feelin' about that dodge you HAVE to pull?

Astonishingly, it goes our way. The rest of the free Orcs reinforce the cage. Schnakc, go whisper your devilish plans to Spoon so he knows what to do!

He moves! He moves!

Scotty being the right hand top corner of the cage, elves blitz him. And succeed knocking him down.

...but that's pretty much ALL they managed

It's turn 8, we have to score, it was our drive on this half!

Mammothtank engages in one die block against Elf Blitzer. Come on, papa needs new pair of shoes!


With the tackling elf pushed away, we're looking at Swashmebuckle, who has to accomplish ONE dodge to score. One! With a team re-roll! Hit it man!


Que the close up to cheerleaders conveniently hopping up and down, to KO'd players (all elves wake up), and we're kicking the ball this time as we still have to play that last elven turn. Elfs scoring a one turn touchdown is highly unlikely as this requires players to be set-up in a certain way so that chain pushes can happen.

Our defensive line is to minimize the blocks while having three buff dudes on the LoS. Now it's our go to elf curtain the **** out of you!

Which turns out to be a good idea, as elfs gain a turn. Now elfs can definitely score a two turn touch down without any strange play associated. Just punch through small holes in the opposition, and run catchers deep in the defensive area. Dem riots, good, bad, who knows.

Deciding that Blackbelt is the weakest link in our line up, the elves amass players around him.

And he goes down.

It does not go well with Black Dynamite


The opponent RE-ROLLS! Dynamite is pushed instead.

It's our turn, and oh my god Spoon, lift that loincloth even a little!


Swashmebuckle reinforces the area of major blockage.

Black Dynamite answers to push with a swift punch to da head.

Rakmar blitzes the Beefcake Elf, and mercifully knocks him down.

The elves cannot manage to do anything sensible on their follow up turn, so it's HALF-TIME! Time to fetch those McMurty's!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 01:17:25 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (high elves), Game 2, Post #6, Start of second half

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Okay okay team, you did well on da first 'alf, let'z keep da momentum!

Let's roll

We use the same defensive line-up.

Schnakc kicks the ball:

Uh Schnakc, I know you're wiv dem big guys and wanna show off, but you don't High Kick to da elves

The elves engage into a most curious formation

Apparently, take want to duke it out with Spoon. But I have a plan. We roll over them first.

Black Knight, blitz that lino! Hit him vewy woughly!



A sickening crunch is heard, and the audience is silenced to witness perhaps the first DEATH in the game.


Until the elf lifts his hand, signalling he is still alive. A young boy's voice is heard from the audience: "Cool, mama I wanna be Blood Bowl player when I grow big!"

It's the first injury Black Orc manages in this team. But it's a doozy, that line elf will not play again!

Black Knight: "I dun't alwayz hit, but when I do I hit 'em good!"

Rakmar and Scotty reinforce the gaps on the right flank, Scotty marking the beefcake elf due to his inherent block.

Spoon punches da elf and proceeds next to the ball carrier. Lookin' good boys

Perhaps I've gone too far? Well if the elves score they score, but if they are gonna do it, I want 'em do it fast!

And it's the enemy's opponent's turn

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 01:48:59 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (high elves), Game 2, Post #7

Hidden Text: Show
The elves blitz Mammothtank, who blesses his armor on the way to ground.

Uh, wait WAT?!
I sort of forgot elves need only one small hole to smuggle in players to scoring range

Blackbelt is in line next.

The beefcake takes care of Scotty.

And stuns him

Come on sissies, are you Orcs or what?

The ball is carried on the left hand side, while Scourge stands firm in the line of fire.

Our first action is to mark the elf player with Swashmebuckle. Let's see how that pass is gonna work with our Thrower in the way.  :drevil:

Mammothtank takes out the blitzer. Unfortunately, he has to blitz to accomplish this, negating the blitz on the ball carrier. (I think I could've played this a bit better)

Schnakc, reinforce the hole Mammothtank left, if they go through Mammoth, they have free reign on the field.

Except, Schnakc has Stunty, which makes it easier for him to dodge through tackle zones. The bad news is, it also makes it impossible to re-roll failed dodges. Unfortunately, I forgot this part of the skill.

The rest is quite predictable, Mammoth gets blocked once again.

The ball carrier runs past our defense (laughing), and hands the ball to catcher. It fails once, but the opponent re-rolls, and succeeds.

Luckily, their reinforcements are tackled

With their re-roll spent, it's a Turnover

Naturally, Scourge blitzes the ball carrier

[Sigh] ...sometimes I wonder




 :banghead: In this case we have to take push.

Swashmebuckle, you have block, surely you can kick this loser's ass?

Oh no

Well, we've done what we can, the rest punch the **** out of any elf you can find.


No injury there


Neither there


Nor there

Blackbelt, you have one dice, what the heck, give it a roll!


Oh I see how this works now. Unfortunately, we don't have anybody else to block, and it's elven turn

Oh you slippery eel!

The elf catcher fails the Go For It and trips just before the finish line  :lol:

Understandably, it's a RE-ROLL, and



Luckily, this guy ain't coming back for this game. Or to the pitch. Ever. Again.

Such is Blood Bowl, you make on mistake and the opponent capitalizes on it. The elves make it 1-1 on their twelth turn, meaning we have effectively four turns to score the winning touchdown. That's not impossible, so we don't turn to the Orcish One Turn Touchdown Machine. Yet.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 02:24:36 pm
HLPBowlers vs. Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #8

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Da boyz are back at offense


The elf kick throw goes out of bounds, resulting in a touchback!

Scotty, you're it now! Dynamite, secure the cage left corner!


Well secured, lad!

Evvybody advance!




Seriously?! Four blocks and no stuns or knockouts?!

I'm gunna start thinking that you're sum sort of tree-luvin' hippie orcs!

The elves push Tukost. Uh-oh, I think where this is going...



Well Tukost, at least you absorbed their blitz, so there's that.

Rakmar bites the dust as well. We're outnumbering them and high elves are outbashing us? High Elves??!!

With their curtain once again in place, we just have to punch through their defenses with raw forces.

Scourge, go!


Well done! It's a knock out when we really need it!

Spoon amazingly manages to move forward secure a loose cage in the middle of the pitch.

Scotty, go go go! All you need is a single Go For It, and we have a re-roll!


He falls. RE-ROLL!


He falls again.  :eek:

SCOTTY! You may have cost us the game here!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 02:43:07 pm
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #9

Hidden Text: Show

I'm starting to think praising Scotty in the first half was a bit premature.

The elves, naturally, pick-up the ball. However, feeling threatened, their lineman retreats to assist in a block against Black Orc, and fails a dodge. That's their last re-roll gone!

Blackbelt gets blocked

Aaaand it's our turn. Luckily.

Please please please Spoon get to that spot now!

He does. Scourge, now go assist against the Elf!

Scotty, get up on your ass and blitz dat elf! You got the only block, Mammoth is needed for the ball retrieval!

He partially compensates for his earlier incompetence.

Mammothtank, go get the ball! (No re-rolls on either side here...)

And fails


The good news is that Elves don't have players in scoring range, so we're looking at a draw at this point. All due to Scotty's incompetence failing two 83%s in a row (that's about 3 % probability right there).

The elves block Blackbelt Jones again.


What? Say what again?

Oh nonono, he ain't gonna miss next game, Apothecary have a look at him!

Whew, it's nothing but a flesh wound.

Black Dynamite gets blocked - with the Apothecary being spent, watch him die

No? Well, it's our turn then. The very last one.

Scotty, get rid of your feat ineptitude and get rid of that elf right there!

It's a push, but push is all we need!

Mammoth, you think you can manage that this time?



We won  :eek2: 

Click here for match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

Our most valuable player was Scotty, and Mammothtank levels up!



Mammothtank learns the Tackle skill, which has two effects. First, it treats Defender Stumbles result of the Dodging players as a Defender Down. This means you'll be a much better offensive weapon against the ball carriers as they tend to have Dodge. Additionally, the automatic Dodge re-roll will not anymore work in your tackle zones!

The alternative was Mighty Blow, but Tackle I feel, is more useful at this point.

Hint for the next time:

I'm hungry, anybody up for a rat-on-a-stick?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 12, 2016, 02:51:20 pm
Oh, and given we won 90 000 in cash, now there's a position open for a Blitzer. Any takers?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 24, 2016, 03:54:44 pm
Sorry for the break, but I've been busy with 12 hour work days.

HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #1

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So, we goin' aginst da ratz boyz. We ain't got anuda blitza yet, but he'll come.

An if sumone sayz sumthin abuut coachin' unda influence, he'z gunna be benched for da match!

Let's have a lookie on da ratz team

Mouldy Wanderers, huh? Nuffin' worrisome

When playin' aginst da ratz, punch dem Gutter runners. Punch dem good, but it ain't eazy since dem can Dodge [Essentially a free re-roll should a dodge out of tackle zone fail]

Sinz we be betta, ratz got sum assistance, beer babes and extra re-roll

Look at dem ratz standing

We win da kick-off and of courz receive. Sum fan threw a rock and stunned Black Knight. Bang! Straight to da hed! But he iz OK.

So, our right flank iz weak

Scotty, forwards!

Scourge punches next, but haz nuffin

Blackbelt, you da next

Still no injuriez on da ratz

Spoon, you go. Yes, you.

Where da competent playaz? Dynamite, go ahed

So our ball is sumwhat secure, but it ain't da best secu-ri-ty on da right side.

Dem ratz are tryin' da flank on da right! Tackle 'em! Tackle 'em good!


[Astonishingly, the Gutter Runner failed the dodge re-roll, 3 % chance for that happening again.]

Da gobbo needs points, go pick up da ball!

He fails! RE-ROLL!! And succeeds.

Start clear way for da score!

Dynamite, he'z got Dodge, you've gotta roll clear punches

Scourge, show 'em whatcha got

Dat's not showin


Scourge! Scourge! (yes, you heard that in the voice that says Snake! Snake!)


Oh he'z just badly hurt. Get back up here you horrible little orc!


Da ratz block Blackbelt - and it iz Both Down! Seeing distinct lack of da BLOCK skill here boyz

While he goez down, he manages to punch da rat to da head and injures him! (Whooooo, first blood!)

Good work lad

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 24, 2016, 04:43:56 pm
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
Schnakc considers hiz options and proceeds left next to da beefcakes. He'z not shure of hiz frail continous existhance with Blitza who fail half dem time.



Scotty punches Gutter Runner. Go Orc!

Rakmar assists Tukost on block against da rat throwa, but nuffin' happens

Dem ratz manage to knock out Black Dynamite

Whadda hell orcs, dem ratz are kicking yoo ass??!!

Mammoth takez one fur da team too.

Our turn

Mammoth uses pro-por-thio-nal responze, and manages only a push.

Scotty goes to assist against that throwa, and makes the dodge!

But the turn is uneventful

Dem ratz attack Spoon!
Wat da hell? What sorta Norwegian lemmingz are dem?

[For those who don't know, a Norwegian lemming is a rodent that is known for its aggressive behavior, being itself hamster-sized and attacking humans. Talk about choosing your battles.)

Dem rest are pushes. Our turn.

Spoon, get back up, yer needed hier!

Ooooooh no, sumbody show da troll how da roll on hiz tummy and get back up

Clear the cage front, dem ratz cannot remain close!


Tukost, secure da left side



Our sixth (sixth!) turn starts with Orcs in dizarray, and prone.

Dem ratz are tuf. We hafta go forward, we cannae win otherwize.
We re-organize dem orcs to da right hand side, but no punching can be commenced.

Dem ratz punch Mammoth

Seventh (!) turn does not look good

Dem ratz are swarming! Dem are everywhere! Dem ratz has dem tactics, dat's elfie screen.

We hafta run! Desperate measurez now! Spoon, BLITZ!

SPOON: "Okay-dokie-dokie!"

Wat, Spoon did it?

He managed a push with a three dice block. [Sigh] Grats, it waz only a weakling Gutter Runner that stopped da onslaught dis time

Everyone follow Spoon! You too Schnakc. Don't look at me, just run! (The reason gobbo has to go to a blockable position is to allow him to reach the score line next turn. Otherwise we are looking at Spoon throwing the gobbo)

Ratz blitz Schnakc

And it's a push. Luckily. Dis means he cannae reach the score line dis turn runnin. Spoon haz to throw him to score line. Stop gulpin' Schnakc. I know Spoon is hungry, but he will nae eat ya lad right Spoon? Right?

Swashmebuckle clears the way for the troll


Anyone wanna calculate the odds of this succeeding and Gobbo not being eaten? Also note that this will not be a score anyways, it's one tile short.

Do eet anywayz. (Reason being that perhaps AI derps and blocks Schnakc from a direction that results him being pushed over the score line. It's a long shot, but it's all we got)

Spoon throws

And drops the goblin where he was picked up [Sigh]

Blackbelt Blocks


Good fer ya lad

And itz half-time

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 24, 2016, 05:10:43 pm
I think I did really well not eating him. That has got to be an accomplishment
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 24, 2016, 05:19:44 pm
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
Swashmebuckle kicks off da second round


Oh Snap!


We start from dis: dem ratz are pushin' forward, but no-one fell.

We shall attempt breakthrough on the right side, and if it doezn't work, punch everyone

No Scotty, dat's Gutter Runner, yer primary target. Dat ain't good enugh. RE-ROLL!

And it's a dodge or a push. Scotty!

Blackbelt blocks...


...and injures anotha playa.

Itz dem ratz turn, but nuffin' interesting happen'

Mammoth blitzes gutta runna


But da rat iz OK. Dangit. But at least orc is there right in da ratz cage (was actually a bit surprised to see computer do a rat cage. Skaven do not rely on caging - they tend to die if they do)

Black Knight blocks

And ends up to da ground, much to da delight of da grinnin' rodent


Scotty is forcibly removed from position by a blitzing rodent


Gutta runna does wut he does best


Our turn

Spoon, I trust you to remove dat tackling playa so that Rakmar haz free reign to blitz

It's a push. [Sigh]

Rakmar dodge anyways, blitz dat rat!

t's a push. Well at least dat rat is in tackle zone

Nuffing interesting happenz in our turn, ratz go.


Yeah, there's dat. Come on fail a dodge!


Dem ratz re-roll!

And pass

Luckily, da Stormvermin does not catch, and drops da ball.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 24, 2016, 06:08:18 pm
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #4

Hidden Text: Show
Naturally, dem orcs bunch up next to da ball

But the rodentz are fast, so we have not too many playas to reach


In-ter-rupt the reinforcements, Swashmebuckle blocks da Stormvermin

Dem ratz flank agin with gutta runna

Wiv gobbo and Rakmar guardin' da ball, it ain't easy pick-up (50 %)

Dem ratz re-roll, and it workz. Ratz manage nothing else this turn.

Dat gutta runna MUST go down, he'll surely score next turn!

It works (amazingly enough)

Mammothtank blocks next, and rolls double skullz. God damnit, this is epidemic

Re-roll! It works, and Schnakc now haz to pick-up da ball without re-roll. (And this time, we only have one re-roll left!)


Strangely, that works too. Stunty fella dat Schnakc

Rakmar, reinforce right flank right now!

Dis is the last sight of Black Dynamite before he lost consciousness

No permanent injury

Dem ratz flank, but Schnakc is a Stunty fella, and punchin' 'im needs sum luck. Dem ratz has not it.

Mammothtank revs dat blitzin' engine, and presses forwards, Stormvermins be damned!

Rakmar takes down the approaching gutta runna, and Schnakc moves ahead.


Just one more step lil gobbo, one more step and you are safe! He manages to get next to Spoon

Tukost haz to get rid of da gutta runna, dat's one assist less if he does it

Both down


Dem ratz blitz Swashmebuckle

Today's interesting perspective is brought to you by the one and only sports helmet cam GoProne! Wave to mama Swashmebuckle!

Our 15th turn does not start well, but at least gobbo is sandwiched between Spoon and Blackie.

Acknow-ledging the fact dis is da 15th turn, and dat orcs run slow, da only option remaining is to throw da goblin forwards. If he makes it, itz touchdown and Orcs win!
Spoon: "Me so hungry!"




Yes, he grabbed the gobbo, threw him far enough, but the goblin landed on his head. Re-roll! And fail.

Understandably, it's a Turnover

Dem ratz do nothing interestin', pick up da ball and cage far on dem side. Being round 16, dis game is a draw, gobbo cannae grab ball and run to finish with so many ratz.

Itz revenge time!

Tukost, you look like a fella who ain't afraid to put the boot where it hurts. Go kick the gutta runna!

Sadly, no injury to insult.

Spoon whaddaya say about movin' bit forward?

Spoon: "Uhhhmmmm?"

Click here for match outcome

Hidden Text: Show
So ends our game against the Mouldy Wanderers, with equal disappointment on both sides

Our only shining beacon was Blackbelt Jones, who injured three rats, AND acquired also the most valuable player award. So he almost levelled twice on a single game.


Dat's the spirit boyz. We gunna have sum lockerroom talk about getting beaten up by dem ratz. I'm shure you'll do betta next time.

Blackbelt Jones levels with Block skill. He ain't gonna get pushed down as easily anymore. Strength would've been more appropriate for the all-star rookie.


So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, playing Blood bowl under influence is an awful idea. I mean it was only one beer bottle (8 %), but my performance was noticeably degraded.

Also, that amount of white skulls in the match.

Our next game seems to be against the Bretonnians
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on March 25, 2016, 07:42:39 pm
Ow. Not expect so much hurty. Thought be more punchy.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 01:24:11 pm
Ow. Not expect so much hurty. Thought be more punchy.

Well you were only Badly Hurt which means you can't play in the same game again, but will be fine for the next ones.

The probability of them breaking your armor is 1/6, so every sixth block can possibly hurt. When it happens that the armor breaks, then the probability that you'll get a stun is 21/36, for a knock out that is 25% and for an injury that is 17 %. And when the injury happens, the probability it will be just badly hurt is 50 %, miss next game is 17 %, permanent stat decrease is 17 % and death is 17 %.

So in your case, the probability of rolling double skulls at that phase was 4/36, probability of armor break 17 %, probability of injury roughly 17 %, and that it happened to be Badly hurt was 50 %. So the probability for this chain of events was 1.5 per mille. Feeling lucky, eh? The best chain of events I've seen at this point was around 0.05 per mille if I recall... Hilarity almost always ensues when something so improbable happens  :lol:

This game will quite handily demonstrate that per mille level probabilities are indeed probabilities which can and will happen. Just when you least expect them, and will thus typically lose you a game. The internet is full of horror stories of rolling double skulls and re-rolling it to another double skulls, affectionally dubbed quad-skulling. That's about 1.2 % probability right there. Some have actually achieved triple skulls with a re-roll, so that's more like 1.4 per mille right there... And it's just because of these events which is why it is also awesome!

Spoon failing to eat that goblin (twice) was quite astonishing given his track record of failing even standing up.  :lol:

And now it's MATCH TIME!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 01:57:35 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Brettonians), Game 4, Post #1

So the Bretonnian team is made of knight armor toting nobles and peasants, who have likely been ordered to volunteer for blood bowl gaming by their landlords. They posses Fend skill, which is mighty annoying as it prevents following the peasant. Pitchforks and all that I suppose. The peasants are quite useless, and serve only as cannon fodder. However, Blockers and Blitzers in the Bretonnian team are somewhat more capable people, having for example Dauntless, which allows them to blitz somebody stronger than them with equal strength. That skill may fail at any moment.

Hidden Text: Show

This is what they look like:

Brave Shields, eh? Let's see how brave your shields will then be!

Since our team is more valuable, they get compensated and hire a star player Dolfar and Bloodweiser Babes.

The team representation shows the sad state of affairs with the front line peasants.

Dolfar looks like this:

Note that he is an elf, and has pointy ears. Punch him on sight!

We win the kick off (again, we have been amazingly lucky so far)

We strategize such a start up formation. The plan: overrun everybody.

The elven reinforcements has some problem adjusting his arm strength to the ball, and throws too high. This allows Swashmebuckle enough time to run UNDER the ball and catch it barehanded.

Swashmebuckle runs forwards and we cage up in the middle. Classic move.

Given his recent performance and block skill Blackbelt goes first. If you wished you got to go first, acquire the block skill. You've already been given several chances so don't look at me.

It's a push.

Mammoth revs that Blitzing engine again, and floors enemy opponent Blitzer. Way to go man, but next time an injury perhaps?

Black knight engages on the right flank, and knocks out a blocker. Good work!


No other actions of interest took place (well there were other blocks resulting mainly pushes)

Brets recover from the initial fury of our assault, and decide to blitz Tukost.

Tukost is punched down, but he is fine otherwise.

Hey Spoon yer free, clear up a line in front of you!

Spoon: Uhhhhhmmmmm? Now did he sayz ta blitz or ta block?

Black Dynamite advances with a push, and it is Scotty's turn to rev that good-old-blitzing engin'

He manages a push. Gratz.

Scourge, how ya feelin' about that block?



Daymn son! Talk about getting frustrated in the injured pit, so he wents that frustration to a Bretonnian's jaw. Broke it, and the guy misses this and the next game! Good job!

It's a good place to end our turn, and Scotty is the first (and last) in the line of fire

He's down, but not out!

To summarize the next moves, we from this position

To this, where you can see Black Dynamite in his favorite action, punching the same Blocker to the face once again. Man, I'm starting to think the blocker likes this!

Once that is done, Spoon is clear to move to close the bottom part of the cage.

On their behalf, opponent returns the favor to Black Dynamite and knocks him down.
Meanwhile, they also try to attack Tukost.


Ha ha! Turnover!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 02:43:20 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
Forwards said the old lady in the middle of a snow pile! (Yes, that's a Finnish proverb about forwards going attitude)

Blackbelt Jones goes first (he has block, and you don't, remember?)

Mammoth goes next, and double skulls

Oh no no no no, no you won't! RE-ROLL! (2 left)

Well at least it isn't a turnover.

The reason he pushes is because the enemy opposition has Wrestle. That would cancel the block, and would place both prone on the ground. Since I want the cage to remain intact where Mammoth is, he selects push and advances.

Scourge goes next

Followed by Mad Max

Oh, did I forgot to introduce Mad Max? He's our new blitzer, whom I took the liberty of acquiring given the recent performance against the rats.

Spoon advances next. With a blitz. I know.

I'm certainly happy he was assisted, that's a double skull for a three dice block!

Our fourth turn leaves the enemy in disarray with half of their team lying prone in the ground

That's more like it Orcs!

Let me next introduce the most heroic sequence of actions of the game by a single player.

Brets blitz Scotty
The result is booming clang as both blitzers are astonished to find the opponent still in front of them. Scotty grins.

Then he gets blocked, and since he has block and the lineman peasant doesn't, Scotty is pushed

Finally, it takes a star player to hit a direct hit to knock Scotty down. Down, but not out!

That's right, Scotty absorbed three blocks before succumbing.

Our turn starts with rather tight formation around the cage.

Scotty is not afraid of the humies that needed three blocks to get him down, and revs that blitzing engine. Blackbelt Jones sees what Scotty is planning, and runs to assist.

Bang! The blitzer is down, and Scotty feels vindicated. He has done his share for this game at least!

Scourge and Black Knight team up on the left hand flank victims players

Scourge: "I got an idee, help me punch dis one!"
Black Knight: "You da boss!"

Mad Max advances to re-form the cage deep in the opposition defense zone

Spoon also contributes and pushes forwards

And that's our turn #5 right there neatly wrapped up.

Brets blitz Mammoth tank, and Mammoth falls! To the ground that is, but got you worried.

Then again, that's about all they could do. Our go #6, and for some incomprehensible reason stood up their players at the border of the pitch.

 :drevil:  :drevil:  :drevil:

Black Knight goes first

Fans, meet Dagohert the Scarface, Dagohert the Scarface, meet the fans!

Scourge, your go!


Yes, that's two crowd surfs in a row.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
Unfortunately, no injury. How does crowd surf mechanics work you ask? Well, it works by skipping the armor break roll completely. That's right, it's a direct injury roll, with a direct 1/6 chance of injury. So stay out of those borderlines boys and girls! Unfortunately, the crowd surf does not add star player points, but it makes winning the game easier as the opposition slowly runs out of players. With a better chance of injuring those who remain on the pitch.  ;7

Mad Max clears the upper right hand corner of the blitzer who felled Mammoth

While Scotty clears the lower right hand corner with the aid of Black Dynamite.

Spoon, push the guy closer to the border!

Spoon: "Uhhhhhmmmmm! What doez push meen?"

And that's pretty much our Turn #6

As their first action Brets blitz Schnakc who had been reinforcing the upper left hand corner of the cage

The result is not pretty


Schnakc lives, but with a niggling injury that will follow him the rest of his life. His knee is now damaged, and will add +1 to any injury roll against him in the future (oooh boy, this is gonna get fun)

Dammit Spoon! (When he goes Really Stupid, he also forgets to tackle anybody leaving his tackle zones)

Dolfar tries to dodge away from the cage, but Mad Max is ever vigilant



Nope, not this time you won't! Turnover

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 03:05:02 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
So lemme see, we find ourselves with an enemy in a contact to the ball carrier.

Blackbelt, would you kindly take care of the pesky peasant?

Good enough

Scotty, would you kindly remove that blitzer from my sight?

Ooooh boy



Well, if he wasn't injured that certainly at least scared the crap out of him!

Oh, and can I introduce another interesting pair here in the lower part of the pitch with no relevance whatsoever to the game.

On the left you have Charles de Couronte, a crusader weighing 200 pounds, and on the right, we have Black Dynamite, a Black Orc weighing some 400 pounds!


The result can be called predictable.  :lol:

Seriously, these two guys have been at it since turn #4, with this being the first punch that got through!

That would make our turn #7

Brets blitz Mammothtank

Who goes down. AGAIN.

Peasant blocks Mad Max now that Mammothtank is out.

Tehehehehe --> RE-ROLL!


And it's a push - good

It's turn #8, and we need to punch through that Bret defense now!

Blackbelt Jones demonstrates how to punch to the same peasant that tried to knock out Mad max


Supposedly that was a good lesson

The way being cleared, Swashmebuckle could pass the ball to a Blitzer, but unfortunately they are marked....

Screw it




So we have to defend against the Brets last eight turn. They cannot score unless some creative chainpushing is employed. Luckily the AI ain't that smart, so we just have to weather the storm.

Spoon, Tukost and Raknar, go to the line of scrimmage. You are the most sacrifiable best players there. (Spoon has regeneration and can regenerate an injury, while who cares about the rookie linemen?)




Well, our defense is already perfect, so there's that.

The linos fall, but they are only stunned.

This little incident, though, was quite hilarious to observe:

Brets one die Spoon, and roll skull. Spoon responds with a swift punch to head, and it's a turnover.

Half time, beer and hot dogs!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 03:35:26 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #4 (start of second half)

Hidden Text: Show
Okay. It's our defensive go, so we employ elf screen defense tactics.


Swashmebuckle kicks

The opponent players are so inspired by their fans chanting that they get a free re-roll. (Mental note: buy fan factor and cheerleaders when money is available)

Mammothtank is once again in the line of fire

He goes down but is not out.

Due to lack of players, they cannot do much else, and it's our turn!

Scotty returns the favor by blitzing the front line, with the aim of getting closer to the ball carrier.

It's a push.

After several consequential punches with no injuries, we leave our turn in a situation like this were 60 % of the opposition players are down.

The opposition rightly blitzes the weakest link, Tukost.

Unfortunately for them, Tukost doesn't agree



Now that was short, even in Blood Bowl terms. We enter turn #10.

Blackbelt Jones and Black Dynamite advance and push away the opposition, relying on Spoon (gulp!) to clear out the final blocking peasant

You can do it Spoon


Man that looks scary, but no injury.

Black Knight blitzes Dolfar, he is their ball carrier after all

Bloody hell guys

Re-roll (Re-rolls left = 1)


That's better!

So lemme get this straight, the ball flew from Dolfar's elfy finger tips to the Blitzer, who could not catch it due to imposing Black Knight, and bounced it to another blitzer behind him? Brilliant!

Mammothtank runs immediately to mark the new ball carrier

And here we have to end our turn.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 04:00:22 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
It is becoming a trend Mammothtank takes the brunt of opposition force, and this time is no exception



The more interesting thing is that they managed to stun Black Knight as well


On the flanks, Mad Max and Tukost get pushed once again, but no knock downs occur after this.

It's our turn, the turn number #11.

Blackbelt Jones clears the central peasant preventing our movement.

Scotty blitzes the guarding peasant away from the ball carrier.


He proceeds next to the ball carrier to annoy him more.
Spoon proceeds to assist. That's amazing, we need him there and he once does what's needed!


The next sequence of images is Black Dynamite punching a Blocker, pay close attention to the perfect fist contact angle, sending the hapless blocker flying.





It's about equally impressive they were able to see the Blocker is knocked out in mid-air. Talk about sharp eyed medical personnel here!

Our 11th turn ends with ball on the left hand flank, but with the ball carrier strictly marked with Spoon and Scotty.

Unsurprisingly, Scotty gets blitzed



He is also knocked out. Sleep well my dear prince! EDIT: Actually no, this is a stun.

The Bretonnians reinforce their positions, but due to ahem recent knock downs, they are not able to mount a big offensive play here.

We start Turn #12 by an attempted clearing of the players next to the ball carrier. Scourge goes first as his blocks can be re-rolled, while Spoon is a loner meaning re-rolls are 50 % successful.

Which turns out to be a good idea, as Scourge fails first time.

Re-roll! No way in hell will they get our entire turn cut short! (Re-rolls left = 1)


It's a push  :banghead:  :banghead:  :hopping:

With other rather uneventful blocks, it's time to dodge Tukost away, he risks injury by standing next to two Bretonnians, and besides he is needed on the furball on the left.
Come on orc you can do it!



Bretonnians get the idea of reinforcing the left hand side of the pitch as well.

Scourge gets blocked and goes down, but not out.

Bretonnians reinforce still, in an apparent attempt to block off the Blitzer guarding their ball carrier

Luckily, Swashmebuckle is awake



Which fails and the player remains tackled. Good job Swashmebuckle!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 04:21:19 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #6

Hidden Text: Show
Our Turn #13 starts with the usual stuff. Block everybody.


I'd give a special mention to Swashmebuckle, who demonstrates here that even the Throwers can and will punch.


Then a couple of safer two dice blocks first

Mammothtank can finally exact some vengeance on those who have punched him so many times. He takes a risky on die block!

And stuns the ball carrier, with the ball bouncing behind the carrier.

There's not much we could do about that in this turn, so Spoon moves closer to the action.

That would be the end our turn.

The opposition starts #14 with Dolfar grabbing the ball. Spoon! You were supposed to watch out for him!


Astonishingly, the opponent then undertakes a two dice block against Raknar


Why you little lucky SOB...

Scotty takes a one die block, and the result is a push

Swashmebuckle takes a hit as well. It's a one die block. [Sigh]

Luckily, either the enemy is able to break through our defenses, so the Orcs press on!

It's turn #14

Tukost reinforces the border position to allow two die blocks towards the border.

Scotty pushes forwards

Blackbelt Jones pacifies the lower region

Black Dynamite blitzes the peasant (seriously, so many people prone in front of the ball carrier that I could not mount a blitz against the ball carrier himself)

The rest gang up on the ball carrier

Don'tcha feel safer, huh?

We end our turn with a rather optimistic outlook.

It is turn #15 for Bretonnians
Scotty and Mad Max get one died. Unfortunately so that the crowd surf is not an option on the next turn. Dangit.

Dolfar attempts to run through the gap created just at the border

But the Black Orcs are awake, and tackle him.

Opponent attempts to re-roll this, but Dolfar is a loner, and the re-roll is a failure!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 29, 2016, 04:42:39 pm
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #7, the finale

Hidden Text: Show
Our turn #15 is initiated with Black Knight blitzing the Blitzer


He is pushed, but this is actually an intentional result.

Black Dynamite blocks the same guy again, and knocks him down.


Scotty engages the ball carrier himself.

But the result is a push. (One could argue that this should have been re-rolled)

Tukost advances below, but it is again a push

Scourge blocks


Mad Max one dies

And fails. That guy has to go down, if there's a pass, he is in scoring range. Re-roll!


[Sigh] Sometimes I wonder...


It's turn #16, and the game is tense!

The opponent one dies Scotty

Knocking him out for good

The ball carrier then blitzes Tukost.

Yes, one die blocks are dangerous. The carrier is stunned, ball is thrown to the opposition touchdown line, and it's a Turnover

Unfortunately, none of our players are close enough to reach the ball and score an easy touchdown.

We'll have to settle for farming SPPs and destroying the opposing team instead.

Black Knight crowdsurfs Dolfar.

Black Knight: "Hey elfie, dodge dis!"


Blackbelt Jones crushes the opposition, but still no injury

Then Scourge takes liberty of delivering a punch to the peasant.


Bang! Straight to the kisser! But alas no injury!  :(

Swashmebuckle takes the last honorary foul to a Blocker.



Click here for match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

Scotty is our most valuable player, and for once I agree. The orc was a machine back there on the pitch.

He levels up, gaining Mighty Blow

It adds one to either Armor Break or to Injury roll, but not both at the same time. If armor is broken anyways, it is added to injury roll. Making it a bit more likely that either a KO or Injury results. So Scotty is our badass blitzer, while Mammothtank is the tackling blitzer, of whom you cannot dodge away.

Next time, if memory serves, we shall be playing against these guys

Meanwhile, would Scotty have a short comment on his Most Valuable Player award?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on March 29, 2016, 05:30:37 pm
I think my achievements so far have been 3? succesful blocks that didn't do any real injury and failing like countless too stupid rolls.
Amazing. This seems about exactly how I would envision myself in real life, pursuing a rugby career.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 12:36:13 pm
I think my achievements so far have been 3? succesful blocks that didn't do any real injury and failing like countless too stupid rolls.
Amazing. This seems about exactly how I would envision myself in real life, pursuing a rugby career.

Hey, that's how the Big Guys work in this game. I bought a Minotaur to a fully developed Chaos team and he has not received a single SPP yet, after like ten games. It's not like he's been useless, though.

The Orc Big Guy is different in a way that he has Armor value 9 and Regeneration, so he is clearly intended to be actually in the LOS instead of Blitzing. That's different from the others, with the exception of the Kroxigor of Lizardmen, Treeman (treant) of Wood Elves and Beast of Nurgle. Unfortunately,  the Troll also has Really Stupid, which loses his tackle zones and support on the surrounding players as he is scratching his head wondering what he was supposed to do. That's not the worst though, the Treeman can get rooted on the pitch and cannot move at all during one drive  :lol:

The Big Guy often works as a road block, preventing the access to certain area of the field, which was demonstrated in the game against the Bretonnians. So he is more like area denial player instead of a positional player.

If I were to re-start with Orcs, I'd rather go with four blitzers and two black orcs as the black orcs do not gain levels fast and buy the black orcs later. The Troll has its uses, at least as a threat of a one turn touchdown machine with the aid of a goblin.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on March 30, 2016, 01:04:26 pm
Meanwhile, would Scotty have a short comment on his Most Valuable Player award?

/me walks up to the podium.


/me walks away from destroyed podium.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 01:35:26 pm
HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarves), Game 5, Post #1

Hidden Text: Show
Today we play against the Dorfs


So the Dorfs have Blitzers, Runners, Linedorfs and Troll Slayers. Yes, Troll Slayers, and stop gulping Spoon! You're an adult troll already! The special thing about the Troll Slayer is that he is frenzied meaning he will block twice in a row! Luckily, their team has not been able to affor a Death Roller yet.

The only other remarkable thing in addition to the fact they are all short is that their players are skilled from the beginning. They all have block and thick skull making them difficult to knock out, with the exception of the Runner. They also sport Armor 9, making them about as tough as our Black Orcs. The players with Armor 8 are Runners and Troll Slayers. You know who to hit, people.

Our advantage over the Dorfs is maneuverability. Even if their line dwarfs are the epitome of Thou Shall Not Pass, we really don't need to, we instead opt for the flanking routes and out-run them!

I fully expect casualties in this game, and that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!

We are once again better developed and higher valued, so Dorfs go with Star Player Barik and extra re-roll.

Enter the Gladiators!

Here you can see the half naked dorfs there, these guys are Troll Slayers and are your primary targets for stemming the Dwarven thrust forwards. As you see, the Dorfs bring the tankards with them to the pitch. Beware, it is sturdier than it seems and many a times have a careless player been beaten to death with those tankards.

It's Dorfs go, so we go defensive line-up

It's apparently very sunny, so passing and catching is more difficult
 :drevil: Pfffft!   :lol: Just as if we were to attempt passing play except under emergencies (Yes, the agility stat of 3 of the Orcs leads to 66 % probabilities in passing AND catching, so a single pass has a 43 % probability to succeed) Just waiting for that +AGI player to manifest himself from the masses...

Dorfs engage, but manage little damage except knockdowns. Everybody is fine after the first onslaught.

Our first engagement is handled by Scotty, who blitzes the right flank player in an attempt to clear way towards the ball carrier. If dorfs manage to form a cage around the ball, it's really difficult to dislodge it.

He succeeds.

Spoon then throws a block to distance himself from a Long beard (=lineman)

Those are really the relevant actions of these first two turns. Dwarves go next.

Unsurprisingly, they blitz Scotty, who goes down.

Then their Troll Slayer rolls skulls


Our position looks pretty good, with a possible shot at the ball carrier, so we start clearing the way. Mad Max starts first.

Followed by Blackbelt

Spoon, take care of the Troll Slayer


You know I'm a bit disappointed. I somewhat expected him to fail the block and die.

Our second turn ends in pressuring the dwarven ball carrier.

While some blocks were thrown by the Dorfs, no significant events occurred, so those of you engaged seem to push each other back and forth between the turns.


Luckily, our black orc is still next to the ball carrier. You know what happens next, right?

Blackbelt, with his Block, goes first, and blocks the ball carrier. It's a great success!

The ball is knocked loose, and Black Dynamite follows the suit.

He pushes.

Mammothtank blitzes the last remainder of the standing Dwarfs within the proximity of the ball

But he wont stop there, oh no, he's gonna steal the ball!


And succeeds??!! Didn't think that would happen.

Oh, and Spoon is again being stupid, but that wont matter here.

Anybody in contact, disconnect!

Our turn ends in rather satisfying steal. Yes, we stole the ball from Dorfs on their drive.

What could possibly go wrong? We enter the Dorfs turn.

The sole free dorf blitzes Mammoth, and it's a one die


Wait, what, they re-rolled?

Of course... Well at least Mammoth is still alive.

In addition, Scotty and Black Dynamite get punched, but that's mainly a dent to their pride.

Our turn

We stand up the fallen, and Black Knight clears the way

Swashmebuckle runs through the formed cage, having to do one (1) dodge to get the ball. He is our best shot to that, he's got Sure hands, and with 66 % probability re-rolled, he's got about 83 % probability of picking the ball up.

That being said, the probability of dodging was 66 %, which doesn't mean he will succeed.


This time he manages the dodge and gets to the ball, but fails to pick it up twice in a row. That's Blood Bowl for ya!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 02:24:03 pm
HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
The Dorfs do not hesitate on their 5th turn. They block Blackbelt Jones, who luckily levelled up to gain a block

Thus they re-roll


Haw haw!

They manage some punches, and interestingly take also one die blocks, that's Dorfs for ya.

Our 5th turn does not start well. Black Dynamite fails a block immediately.



Awww, and I was hoping for a knock out!

Mammothtank blitzes the last annoying dwarf from guarding the ball, he proceeds to assist Scotty in the upper right hand corner.

Swashmebuckle goes next, now that you've had your fun, could you pick it up now please?

He can, and proceeds to upper right hand corner to assist Scotty in a block.

Unfortunately, the Dorfs cheat and have Guard, so despite an attempt to take away the assist, this is still a one die block for Scotty. You can do it Orc!

He manages a push


Oh and introducing Spoon the Really Stupid Troll to you once again. Dude, that's a Troll Slayer, and you are a troll!

Finally, Rakmar fails a one die block and rolls a skull

Ain't gonna re-roll that, so if you injured yourself, you've had it coming anyways. Turnover

Dorfs dodge out, but Mammothtank is once again awake (thank you Tackle)

They re-roll, and succeed in the 50 % dodge. Since this is a blitz, they directly aim Swashmebuckle.

And roll a skull.  :drevil:


Our sixth turn starts with Swashmebuckle running the hell away from the dodge. He doesn't score yet, as this would reset everything back to the LoS, and nobody wants there with Dorfs.

Instead, we play time and possibly try to injure the Dorfs.

Blackbelt stuns a Trollslayer

Not much else important happens, some pushes, knock downs and such.

Dorfs go.

They blitz Black Knight


Here Mammothtank learns that a cornered dorf is the most dangerous dorf


Like-wise, Scourge learns that teasing somebody smaller than you can bite back

That's a two dice block against

Why you little

In our go, Swashmebuckle runs

Yes, this is still playing time. It's the 7th turn, and we do want to wait until 8th if dorfs have a go.

Which is a very good idea, since as Scourge blitzes the dorf from the ground, he rolls yet again double skulls.

Re-roll, come on, you only need a push!

"Hey Dorf, say hello ta ya fans!" says Scourge as the punch lifts the hapless blitzer to the crowd.

He takes one go for it to prevent the trollslayer from crowdsurfing him.

Spoon manages a block, but again no injury.

Finally, Black Dynamite double skulls.


Wait what, the runner can reach Swashmebuckle ( :lol: totally miscounted there, Black Dynamite should not have fallen under any circumstance to block the access there)

Well he has to go through two Go For Its and succeed in a one die against somebody with block (and re-roll), what are the odds of that working? (For anybody interested, 0.83*0.83*0.55 ~ 0.38, I don't want to see the chained probability with re-roll being used somewhere else than the block action...)

Yeah, that's what the game thinks about probabilities today

The ball is out of bounds and somebody from the audience kicks it luckily close to the dwarfen finish line. Perhaps this can be salvaged still?


And they manage the pick-up at 50 %. What's wrong with these dorfs?

Finally, the Trollslayer skulls


Since dorfs could one die blitz our ball carrier, so can we!

It's a push  :mad:  :hopping:

Yet again we manage no injury, and the klaxon sounds for half time!


Well if something can be said in defense of the first half, at least it was fast paced.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 02:58:47 pm
HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #3, Start of second half

Hidden Text: Show
Second half, and it's our offense.

We employ a rather different engagement formation this time.

The idea is to fortify the LoS while providing sufficient protection for the ball carrier should the ball drop anywhere in the field.

Trollslayer kicks, and...


Fans throw a rock, stunning Black Knight. This is starting to become like the standard opening for each drive it seems.

We form a loose cage around the ball, but do not pick it up yet. What's the point, Swashmebuckle could not proceed anyways this turn much further.


That being said, commence the punching

Here's a display of skill from Scourge



He stuns Bofor (wait, didn't this happen in the first half too?)

The rest manage to deal punches, but no armor breaks. Enter Spoon

I wouldn't particularly want to stop my turn here, so Re-roll

Yeah, Spoon is a loner. Re-roll negated!


On their turn, the dorfs press on the right hand side, but no significant deal or blows are encountered. This is because we managed to floor a significant fraction of their players last turn.

On our turn, Swashmebuckle makes it for the ball, and picks it up.

Wait, didn't I already move him there? (I apparently forgot to move him close to ball when I decided not to pick it up...)

Black Dynamite double skulls once again


Re-roll is good, and the turn goes on.

Scourge is still pissed, and punches the Trollslayer. He aint gonna get anywhere near our ball carrier. Oh no, not this time!



The Trollslayer is stunned, and we end up in a rather relaxed position.

That being said, getting relaxed in Blood Bowl is usually the last mistake you'll make.

Dwarfs go, but nothing significant happens.

Thus Swasmebuckle advances towards Spoon and the lucrative front line. The dwarfs have left a gap in the middle of the pitch, and if they fail to react, they cannot reach Swashmebuckle (as ironic as that is...)

Mad Max and Blackbelt Jones gang up on the Dorfs at the border


Now that DOES look promising, eh?

Our turn ends in a perfect cage in the middle of the pitch


So dorfs, do your worst!


So Black Dynamite is out. OK.





The docs check Black Knight, and it appears he just suffered from a momentary loss of heartbeat. Nothing serious they assure.


Black Knight joins the bench and re-joins the game if we score. Or if the Dorfs score, whichever comes first.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 03:42:07 pm
HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #4, finale

Hidden Text: Show
It's now our turn

Nobody kills a Black Orc, and lives to tell the story (except Chaos maybe)

Give'em hell boyz






Can't say I envy the guy, first the sky drops on him when Blackbelt punched him, then he gets stomped and kicked by the crowd.

Mad Max educates the Blitzer likewise.


Both are Knocked Out. That's excellent. They are now lacking three players as their Star Player was discarded in the beginning of the second half.

Scotty blitzes a long beard then

Spoon is being once again Really Stupid

So Swashmebuckle and Tukost see it is the wisest to remain on the relative protection the beefcake wall on the left flank provides. Tukost screens Swashmebuckle to prevent intrusions.

Dorfs turn. They reform their lines in front of us, but manage nothing else important. Lacking players, eh?

Our turn, it's turn #13

Scotty blocks a Long beard in front of him.


Whoa you did it dude! All hail Mighty Blow!


Nice, you also career killed that dorf!

The rest of available Orcs advance on the right flank!

Spoon, we need you here, don't just stand there in the middle of dorfs, even they can stack up on ya!

OK, well not then. Talk about some people not knowing their own better.

Dorfs go.

They mount one berserker attack against Tukost, but nothing serious happens.

Running out of players, eh?

Our go, #14

We have to start advancing, so clear out the pesky Dorfs in front of you! Prevent them from getting close to the ball carrier!

Scotty and Mad Max gang on the Long Beard threatening on the backfield

He goes down.

Spoon, we REALLY need you here! Come boy, come here!

He actually does, and there's nobody near telling him that. Whoa.

Our turn ends about as abruptly as it started once Rakmar rolls a skull. Well done.


The Trollslayer naturally pushes Tukost of the pitch. I'll get cha yet!


Spoon gets blocked by Runner. The amazing thing is that it is two dices against, and I get to pick the result.

Seeing a bit of lack of variety in here...

Our Turn #15 is initiated once again by Scotty.

He face-plants the dwarf, reducing the threat level up there considerably. Swashmebuckle advances close to finish line. Don't worry, we are not going to stall this time.

Mammothtank has been offended by them Dorfs that wont stay put. He punches the trollslayer. He punches him hard.




And of course, the crowd joins the fun!

He is only Badly hurt, but that's one less dwarf on the pitch.

Our turn #15 ends in a rather safe setting. There are no dwarfs anywhere near that could reach Swashmebuckle.

They get nothing done.

Turn #16



Yeah, that. Dorfs are two players injured and three knocked out. Take that, Thick Skulled midget!

The team forms in to a defensive formation to receive the complimentary blocks from the Dorfs.

There's just nothing what they could possibly do.

Hidden Text: Show
Whoa, nice winnings right there.

The most valuable player was Mad Max this time. He is one injury or pass away from leveling.

Swashmebuckle actually levels up!



He gets Dodge, making him the slipperiest eel in our arsenal. You'll need a direct POW to knock him down, otherwise he'll just use block to stop you, or use dodge and get pushed away. Totally annoying, I know.  ;7
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on March 30, 2016, 03:47:29 pm
Next time:


Now, we have 140k spare. I think I'll sack one of the line orcs and buy a new Blitzer. Even You could become as cool as Mammothtank or Scotty, so apply today!

Additionally, the Schnakc the goblin has to retire due to his knee injury - took an elbow to the knee he exclaims.

Any takers?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 04, 2016, 02:33:43 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, intro

Coach prep talk before game:

Now team, we look in da oppositshun team


Dem are lizardmen. Big and small lizards. You stay away from da big 'uns until da small 'uns are out. Dem haz 15 playas, you'll see why. Dem lizards haz no Kroxigor, so Spoon smacks dem big lizards.

Your primary target iz wat dem lizards call "skinks"


Dem skinks haz dodge, dat makes 'em harder ta hit. You need clear POW or Skull wiv POW ta drop 'em. Provided you haz block. Dem skinks also haz Stunty like our gobbo, stunty playr dodges more easy. But dem stunty playerz also get hurt fasta.

So it iz time for skink huntin' season. Any questions?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 04, 2016, 05:38:01 pm
HLPBowlers vs. Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #1

Hidden Text: Show
And now to the match

Introducing to you our new goblin, Squigmink

Introducing to you our new blitzer, Srihag

Here come the lizards!

We win once again the coin toss, but contrary to standard, we select to kick off first. Let the lizards come to us!

Since it is unlikely the lizards could knock the entire front line down, we settle for a reasonable defensive formation.

Swashmebuckle kicks

And the weatherman says it rains

I'd be breaking a sweat if we played the passing game. Luckily, we don't.

Blackbelt Jones is knocked down on the lizard's turn, nothing else of importance happens. They pick up the ball and progress forwards next to the line of scrimmage.

Squigmink, get to assist Mammothtank and Mad Max in their block against the big mean lizard!

Instead of POW, we take push. Yea, just do it Mammoth, thank coach later.

For the event that the next move fails, Swashmebuckle reinforces the central portion of our side. From there, he'll be able to blitz any incoming skinks if they attempt a breakthrough.

...which turns out to be unnecessary since Mad Max rolls a push. The lizard is pushed to the crowd. That'll teach you to stay next to the border of the pitch!

Mazda(!!) of Zlatlan is knocked out by the fans! Thank you fans!

Meanwhile on the right hand side, Scotty punches the skink vewy woughly.

It's a knock out! So our first turn, and two lizards are down. The numbers are indeed favoring us today. But Scotty is not satisfied yet, oh no, he's looking for more in the middle of the pitch.

Black Dynamite punches one lizard down. Good.

And Spoon is being himself once again.

On their second turn, the lizards gather their bearings, and manage to hit Scotty. He goes down but the armor holds.

For some reason, they also moved the ball carrier towards left. They form a skink cage. Yes you read it right, a skink cage.  :drevil:

Mammothtank engages and clears the line. Unfortunately, no casualty here yet.

Max Max blitzes the skink behind!

Oooh ****, a cut scene, this had better be good!


And injures him! Well done! Since injury nets you two points, he has now levelled! Congratulations!

Scourge pushes the lizard away from the skinks, and Srihag reinforces our center.

Black Dynamite pushes the recently stood lizard away from LoS contact.

...while Spoon is still wondering about the world and the wonderful little water droplets dropping from the sky.

That's two first turns down. We have removed three lizards from the game, and we're looking at 8 against 11 here.  :drevil:

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 04, 2016, 07:08:08 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
Scourge and Mammoth take one for the team



Luckily, Mad Max holds, and result is a push.


Had this been a knockdown, we would have difficulties in stopping the lizardmen on the left hand flank.

Our turn, it's #3 now.

Scotty removes the lizard from the proximity of the troll.

Spoon amazingly enough decides that it's OK to listen to orders for once. He goes to threaten the ball carrier. And threaten he does, as the poor skink tries to figure out what just happened to the sun.

Srihag blitzes one skink on the right hand side of the pitch, but manages only a push.

Blackbelt Jones takes one saurus down.

Max Max, scared by the immediate prospect of getting crowdsurfed, decides to get out of dodge

He fails



And he fails again.


Lizards stand up their prone players that were just thinking about the register plates of the freight trains that went over them. They manage one interesting blitz against Spoon. That's two die against roll, and they manage to fell the troll.

That's about their turn. Given the short time they spent, I think it is a turnover but I can't see why that happened.

Spoon cooperates first and stands up. He's done that twice in a row now. Whoa. You'd almost think that 83% probability has started to work.

Blackbelt, get rid of that skink

Oh no no no, that's not good enough! Re-roll!


Man, that skink just wont go down!

Srihag, your go, get rid of that skink!

And it's a push. What do the feed to these lizards?

Mammothtank removes the immediate lizard threat.

While Squigmink and Swashmebuckle reinforce the left hand side blockade - aint gonna be easy to get through these gentlemen

Scotty and Black Dynamite decide that pushing the lizard would be a good idea now, and it is up to Scourge to demonstrate the orcish superiority.

Our fourth turn ends with the ball carrier being walled towards the left hand part of the pitch.

The futility of that walling in attempt is handily demonstrated by lizards blitzing Srihag. And succeeding. What did you expect?

The ball carrier progresses and bypasses our wall

He is followed by a supporting skink who just so happens to mark Scotty so that he can't rev the blitzing engine.

Finally, Black Dynamite takes a punch to the head, but it's no injury. Just a stun. Phew

Our fifth turn starts with Scotty. We have to take out the skinks, otherwise they'll score next turn and we cannot stop it if we don't act now.

Scotty blocks

...and stuns the assisting skink

Swashmebuckle, how you feelin' about that blitz, mate?


Oh you knocked out the skink as well? Good, very good!

Spoon lands a hit on the reinforcing saurus that just happens to be next to the spot the ball landed.


And knocks him down. Good man!

Our fifth turn ends with ball next to Spoon, and with one skink available to pick it up (sauruses have AGI 1, so you can expect them to succeed at pick-up 17 % of the time i.e. never.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on April 04, 2016, 07:25:35 pm
(sauruses have AGI 1, so you can expect them to succeed at pick-up 17 % of the time i.e. never)
That 17% chance on the other hand has rarely stopped me from being really stupid  :lol:

I love the size difference in the background. Now if only always hungry would work on skinks....
Also, I think I got water droplets in my eyes there.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 04:20:30 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizard), Game 6, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
As the Sauri are free, they flock around Spoon. Take care, Spoon!


You would, wouldn't you


The troll is down. I repeat the troll is down. He fell on the ball, which scattered behind him. Great.

But that's about all they can manage. Yes the skink attempted a one die against our goblin, but only managed a push. About time, if you ask me.

Blackbelt blocks the T-rex away.

Srihag bags another T-rex

Hey Spoon, get up and mark that last standing lizard!

Spoon: "Uhhhmmmm is dis my lefty or righty hand?"

And the troll has once again forgot how to stand up. Brilliant

Scotty eliminates the only threat that can pick up the ball. Well not exactly eliminates, but reduces the skinks movement by punching the hapless lizard to the ground.

Being the ever present scoring machine, Swashmebuckle advances forwards, alone, unprotected. He has dodge and block, remember?

This while Mammothtank picks up the ball

Attempts to pick-up the ball (Re-roll!)

And fails again. Turnover

The counterattack is swift, and Mammothtank goes down

Srihag is next on the line

It breaks his armor

Please don't die Please don't die Please don't die Please don't die

Just a stun? Get back on your feet you horrible little Orc!

And it's our go, Turn #7

Scotty blocks the skink


Black Knight and Mad Max provide some good old smacking to the lizards. Their front line crumbles, allowing another attempt at the ball

Mad Max attempts pick up

...and succeeds. Really did not see that coming. That's only two failed rolls at 50 % behind.


He goes behind the beefcake wall for some protection.

Our seventh turn leaves two lizards standing.

Eight turn for lizards

Predictably, Swashmebuckle gets the blitzing heat.

It's only a push for him, thank you dodge! (Swashmebuckle is actually ridiculously difficult to hit, you'd need two special skills to get a 33 % chance with a single die to knock him down. Without either skills, the chance you'll roll a dice that knocks him down is 1/6, while you take the chance of 2/6 for turnover)

Blackbelt on the other hand, does not have dodge

Come on, live! Live live!

And it's just a stun.

Our eight turn. Can the Orcs score is the question.

Scotty blitzes the skink that marked Swashmebuckle to shorten the running distance for Mad Max. This is gonna be a handover, if I have any say about it.

Unfortunately, the push comes from a wrong square, and it only makes things worse.

Spoon, I trust you to handle that one lizard

A push. Well at least it isn't a turnover. And at least he did something.

Black Knight seals the deal by rolling double skulls

Nope we could not score.


Now would be a good break to taste some refreshing Bloodweiser. The new Bloodweiser bite comes now without the toxic aftertaste of death!

Our emerging star Swashmebuckle is cool, and he drinks Score All The Time. If you want to be as cool as him, so should you!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 04:48:21 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #4, Start of second half

Hidden Text: Show
We are offensive on the second half


Black Orcs block in the line of scrimmage

Mammothtank the opportunistic predator of sand seas and flatlands finds an isolated prey, and runs up to the blitzing speed


Mammothtank: "Hey did cha see that? Dem skinks spin in air when you punch dem to da face!" (Yes, for some reason the skinks really do a butterfly twist as in the action movies when they get a blocked. It's animated and looks cool)

One less skink to worry about

Spoon blocks saurus  :shaking: What will he manage this time?

A clean landed hit, but no armor break

Hey Swashmebuckle old buddy old pal, you've got Sure hands, right? That means you'll automatically re-roll the failed pick-up attempt. Give it a shot!

And he proceeds failing twice in a row. Classic


Skinks gang up on Mammothtank and the lizard finishes the deal with a three die block

Mammoth goes down. Otherwise lizards mainly advance towards our ball, and pick their bearings when the stars stop spinning.

Blackbelt Jones initiates a three die against a skink. Few things are better than hitting someone smaller than you!

The blitzers mark the flanking saurus.

Scotty marks him good

Spoon, it would be really useful if you were a couple of squares forwards

Oh well, no then.

Swashmebuckle attempts picking up the ball again

Swashmebuckle: "Hey it waz slipphery at dem rain!"

He makes it, and progresses slightly towards the opposing ends. We hand the turn over to lizards.

Three skinks and a lizard (sounds like a girl band) gang up once again against Mammothtank (and try to say that fast drunken)

It doesn't work.

One skink advances along the right flank

In our turn, Mad Max carefully approaches the skink, finds a weak spot, and sends the lizardling flying. The skink is stunned.

Blackbelt Jones takes a block against skink in the LoS (what the hell AI, what does skink do in the LoS?)


Blackbelt: "Do a flip!"

Black Dynamite blocks Saurus

No no, I said knock him down! Re-roll!


[Sigh]. Oh well

Mammothtank, get outta dodge! You can make it man!

No he couldn't.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 05:16:55 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizard), Game 6, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
The hole in the defense is immediately noted by the lizards, and they mount a blitz against Swashmebuckle



Since Swashmebuckle is awesome, that counts as a push. You can probably hear him laughing on the futile attempts of the clumsy saurus. (Totally lucked out here. Though the likelyhood Saurus scoring a hit was comparatively low, it was still possible. 11/36 if I'm not mistaken.

That's about everything important they could do. It's our turn #12


I note that a couple of skinks have parked next to our blitzers. That would not be a good idea. That would not be a good idea at all. Actually one could call that a pretty darn bad idea.

Mad Max demonstrates

Shix is injured and remains out of the game, and Mad Max is happy. Btw "Shix"? Who names his kids "Shix"? Well, the name doesn't make the skink bad unless the skink makes the name bad, so let's not judge.

Mad Max:"Dem skinks do spin! Waaghsome!"

Srihag blocks the next skink, scoring a clean hit, but the skink just goes down.

Finally, the Mighty Blowing Scotty removes the big lizard. He is stunned.
(https://i.imgsafe.org/831ec9a.jpg) (I have to say Scotty has got a pretty good block to floored opponent ratio this game)


The rest advance forwards and form a cage.

End of our turn #12. Lizards go.

Since they are ahem a bit scattered, they cannot mount an effective offensive, and mainly start to elf screen the cage. The problem with that is that the skinks do not make a good screening player. Especially if there's only one of them.

Scotty demonstrates



Scotty: "It haz to be dem tail!"

One less skink. I also like the way Scotty wears his blitzing claw, it's as if he was giving the finger to the skink. 5 skinks are KO, two players are injured. That's 7 out of 15, so it's going pretty well.

Srihag continues the assault


Spoon is being himself once again

Dem black boyz floor the flanking lizards on the left side, while Mammothtank attempts to dodge away from a lizard.

The reason he does that is that lizard has STR 4 and Mammothtank doesn't. No sense to remain there being punched.

The end of the 13th turn looks pretty good

The lizards block Dynamite

And fail a dodge roll with a skink. Srihag was awake, and put the blitzing glove right where it hurts



The skink is down, and it's a Turnover

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 05:32:53 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #6

Hidden Text: Show
When given a chance like this, our cage advances immediately. Think Roadrunner immediately.

Mammothtank has his eyes locked on a skink, and blocks!




Teeheehee, he maimed the opposition player. That's a career ending injury for a skink.

Spoon and dem black boyz keep the oppositshun down, but do not manage injuries.

Lizards start their #14 turn. I like what I'm seeing on the right hand side  :drevil:

Lizard blitzes Mammothtank

And re-rolls double skulls that Mammoth would've survived thanks to block to a double push. Congratulations, I know the feeling. They also mark the cage with a skink.

They mark the cage with a skink.

They mark the cage with a skink???

Well no matter for me.

Mad max pushes him out on our Turn #15

Which is followed by a three dice from Black knight. Note that he has no block.

That reads: Push, push, turnover. (Second is a push because the skink has dodge)

You can do better Orc, re-roll!


Seriously??!! Push, push, push?? (Gotta love the game when it trolls you)

Swashmebuckle goes slightly more forwards, while the rest of the nearby players screen him

We hand the turn to opposition here.

Srihag is blocked, but it's a double push once again.

A skink attempts to dodge in to blitz Swashmebuckle (two dies against the skink type of desperation here...)

He fails and is stunned. Turnover

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on April 05, 2016, 05:39:45 pm
Gat dang I'm kicking all sorts of ass.  C'mon, MVP again!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 05:41:56 pm
HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #7, finale

Hidden Text: Show
Swashmebuckle: "Re-ques-ting permisshun to score sah!"


Go ahead


Reeling from the shock, the lizards get a one turn against us. We deploy to a defensive formation.

Swashmebuckle kicks out of bounds, and it's a touchback. A skink get the ball, but he is far, and just manages to get on the right hand side of the LoS.

The final turn is quite uneventful, typical blocks are thrown, with the exception of this against Spoon

AI re-rolls!

A double skull. Classic move.

Spoon counter-attacks and stuns the lizard.

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

Our winnings are pitiful, re-roll that!

Well I'll take that

Swashmebuckle is once again the Most Valuable Player

The injuries and SPPs are distributed as this

And Mad Max levels, getting Tackle to remove those pesky elves


Now that was a hilariously incompetent match by both sides, with heavy losses inflicted on the lizard side. I think Scotty was the most consistent on either stunning or KOing the players. The rain did us both this time.

But we won it. Orc style.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 05:46:02 pm
(sauruses have AGI 1, so you can expect them to succeed at pick-up 17 % of the time i.e. never)
That 17% chance on the other hand has rarely stopped me from being really stupid  :lol:

I love the size difference in the background. Now if only always hungry would work on skinks....
Also, I think I got water droplets in my eyes there.

The big guys in this game are indeed big. Wait till you see the minotaur. :D That's a scary one. Well actually when you get blocked by any big guy you are always gritting your teeth whether there will be a career ending injury.

It would indeed be hilarious if it was possible to eat the opposition small players were they stupid enough to park next to the troll. But skinks don't have the Right Stuff, so they can't be thrown, thus eaten. I don't think you'd be able to do that to the opposition goblins either.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 05:52:59 pm
Gat dang I'm kicking all sorts of ass.  C'mon, MVP again!

Unfortunately, this is not based on stats gathered during the game or anything. It's random as far as I can tell. But it can have hilarious consequences especially if a player dies. He typically gets the MVP then, and the death probably could've been avoided had the MVP been awarded earlier to him.

EDIT: Oh, next match will likely be broadcasted on Saturday.

EDIT^2: Just realized that the Lizard's MVP was Mazda the unconscious lizard, who I think was knocked out on the turn #1 of the match, and remained so until the lizard's 16th turn. :D Talk about contributing there. Perhaps they felt pity towards him?  :lol:
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on April 05, 2016, 06:00:24 pm
How did I get zero SPPs there? D:
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 05, 2016, 06:04:52 pm
SPPs are awarded by the following actions:

Successful pass: 1 SPP
Injure opposition player: 2 SPPs (You get the same SPPs for opposition player death which we haven't seen yet.)
Score a touchdown: 3 SPPs

So you managed several important KOs and basically carried the team, but these actions do not net you SPPs, despite them being very vital to the team.

It's the Mighty Blow Scotty that carried the team.  The unsung hero of this match!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 04:18:55 pm
Sorry about not being able to do the match yesterday; I was in Boston and got jet lagged to hell and back, with my last travel day to home lasting some 36 hours straight, netting me an effective loss of Saturday.

HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #1. This time with a superstar player inducement on opposition!

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Tonight's match will be against Orcs. The team name is Bloody Skulls. Whether that refers to actual bloody skulls as in found in heads, or to the bad blocking dice luck remains to be seen.


The teams were quite evenly matched, so I didn't add inducements. AI selected Rip the troll, who isn't Really Stupid, and is about as strong as two normal trolls.

Charming fella, ain't he?

We uncharacteristically lose the dice roll in the beginning, and thus kick the ball. This is our defensive formation.

The kick-off event is really sunny, which reduces chances of catching a pass. Pffffft, just as we were going to pass anyways!

Black Knight gets blitzed, and goes down. He grins as he falls down, "Wheee!"

Black Dynamite manages to entice a Both Down result of the block against him


Srihag marks the blitzer on the right hand side.

Mammothtank and Mad Max advance on the left flank

Scotty blitzes the right hand side blitzer, pushing him one step ever so closer to the border of the pitch.

Spoon engages Rip, Blackbelt Jones assists!



Spoon immediately KOs the not-really-stupid Troll! Whoa, that's probably a first useful play from him that could not be easily replicated with other players! That's 300 K worth of gold out from the pitch!

That pretty much ends our turn as all moves are exhausted.

The opponent first blocks Black Knight

Then their remaining troll blocks Black Dynamite.

And that injures him Badly.

Since it is not career-threatening, I'll let the Apothecary pass. We can manage without him, the war will not miss a single player, right boyz? Right, right?

And that's pretty much what they get done. Our turn.

Scotty finalizes the deal with the other blitzer by pushing him into the crowd.

Keep surfin' surfin' surfin'

Srihag blitzes next the Mighty Blowing lineorc.


Oh, a cut-scene! Pleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegood



After knocking the lineorc down, he proceeds one more square to make the pick-up attempt even harder.

Finally, Scourge manages a turnover. Gratz, dude.

So, on the first two turns, we lost one, while the opponent lost two. I'm happy with this ratio, given that they lost Mighty Blowin' blitzer and lineorc.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 04:48:13 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #2

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Given the situation they find themselves, opposition manages to knock Tukost and Black Knight. Otherwise, their turn is quite thin. No attempt to retrieve the ball is mounted. Suits us.

Scotty blitzes Marzig the thrower, but does not manage to break armor. Oh well, he's at least down and cannot interrupt the pick-up.

Swashmebuckle picks the ball up.

And proceeds forwards


This actually starts to look really damn good for the team. The Bloody Skulls have small chances of intercepting this one, as most of their players are tied to the LoS.

Mammothtank dodges the wrath of a Black Orc, and coincidentally also enhances the defensive screen around Swashmebuckle.


We may have lost the bash in this game, but because of that, we are looking to be winning the game.

Spoon, you're in danger of getting swamped by the opposition players, get out of there troll!

And one booming "Uhhhhmmmm" once again echoes in the marble walls of the stadium. Well, we might as well end our turn here.

Bloody Skulls Black Orc blitzes Mammothtank, and Mammoth goes down.

And that's about it from the AI turn.

Swashmebuckle advances. Hey orc, don't score yet, I have an idea!

That idea is to play time, and make the opposition lose some turns before scoring. What, you want to have Rip on the pitch again?

Blackbelt Jones blocks opposition player with Both Down option. He has Block and the opposition doesn't, so opposition goes down.

Spoon is once again stupid, even as he would have about the best amount of players to smack down for a long time.

And we end our turn here.

Eye Puke the Bloody Skulls troll blitzes Mad Max, and gets him down.

And that's about what they could do. Actually they start to encircle Mammothtank on the proximity of finish line, but as the blitz is already used, they cannot mount and effective offensive towards our ball carrier.

Scotty aids in defusing the situation there with a blitz

Black Orc is then grounded. But not permanently.

Blackbelt Jones blocks

That's a push. A push, Blackbelt. Since it is our fifth turn, I might as well re-roll that. But remember we ain't gonna do that all the time.


The black orc goes down with Both Down option. The reason being the same as last time.

Spoon, get up, you are needed there!

Uhhhmmm (there's nobody next to him if you are wondering. Who the hell would like to get surrounded by opposition players like that?)

Right, that's wrap around our fifth turn.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 05:16:39 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #3

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The opposition brings more players to defend their area.

Here Tukost gets blitzed and goes down.

Black Orcs leave Spoon, and reinforce the contested central area on the pitch. Unfortunately (and fortunately for us), their range leaves room for improvement.

Our turn 6 starts with Mad Max blocking a Black Orc.  The Orc goes down.

Scotty manages a push or Both Down. Since both have block, the solution is disengagement via push.

Blackbelt Jones clarifies the communication rules between the Black Orcs to the opposition Black Orc.

He's like a punch me Elmo.

With a his marking player's sudden and forceful interruption, Mammothtank proceeds to finish line.

Since the opposition players are knocked down, they cannot reach the finish line this turn. Those standing up are either in tackle zones (and unlikely to make the dodge), or too far away. However, given the amount of smack down delivered to both sides and opposition approaching their finish line, we need to score soon.

For the first time in his career, Swashmebuckle tries to hand off the ball to somebody else.

Mammothtank fumbles the hand-off. Come on man, the ball was GIVEN to you, not thrown.


Re-roll! But it is still a fumble. However, the ball scatters back to Swashmebuckle, who manages to catch it, and since the ball is not dropped to the ground, and we narrowly avoid turnover.

Srihag goes to the right flank to be a nuisance to the opposition. We are offering Mammothtank here as a blitzing target with Go For Its, let's see if they take it.

Amazingly, the alone Spoon gets up all by himself!

And that's about our sixth turn.

The opposition two dies Black Knight.


Dang it, our numbers advantage just diminished!

Our seventh turn seems to have a nice start

Before scoring, Spoon, could you move to assist the Black Boyz?

He actually does that too. Alone.

Blackbelt Jones continues teaching the Black Orc to Black Orc communication.

Ok, Swashmebuckle, try to hand-off the ball to Mammothtank!

Mammoth fumbles it. Again. 67 % man, 67 %, thrice in a row now!



Mammoth scores! He scoooooooores!

Since we scored, we are once again kicking the ball. But we only need to last one onslaught from them! Come on people, you can do this!
About the same defensive start-up is used, but this time the gobbo comes to the pitch.

Instead of the soothening nuclear blast in the background, the weather turns nice.

Blackbelt Jones and Scourge receive blocks, but that's about it.

Our eight turn starts with Scotty ineffectually slapping the opposition blitzer, who was doing the same.

Assisted by Swashmebuckle, Spoon attempts to knock out another troll.

He doesn't.


It's half time, beers and sausages, come get yours while they are still fresh!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 05:48:30 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orc), Game 7, Post #4, Start of second half

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The start of the second half is hilarious, Rip does not wake up!  :drevil:


You know, I'd be really raging at this point if I happened to be coaching the opposition team.

We deploy to this offensive formation

Noice! A free re-roll as well!

Swashmebuckle moves in to assist in picking up the ball, and to form a defensive screen around the ball should the pick-up fail.

Mad Max moves in to assist on left side to remove the opposition blitzer from the equation.

Mammothtank revs that blitzing engine for the first time in this game

Oh, it's a cut-scene. Kill! Kill! Kill!


Nice straight left Mammoth!



One of us, one of theirs!

Scourge continues the Blackbelt Jones teaching lesson of Black Orc communication. Oh, have I forgotten to tell you how it goes?



It happens with fists and chins, as aptly demonstrated by Scourge. The opposing Black Orc is stunned by the brilliance of these teaching methods.

Scotty moves to screen bottom right hand area. If they attempt to go here, they face the Mighty Blowin' Scotty.

Blackbelt Jones continues to block opposition Black Orcs down. And not out.

Spoon is once again Really Stupid.

Srihag advances forwards in an attempt to create diversion to right hand side.

Gobbo picks up the ball. Hey, even they have to earn SPPs to level!

And fails. Re-roll!


And gets it done.

That's about our ninth turn done.

The AI predictably reinforces the left flank, but does not manage to disrupt our progress.

Mammothtank removes a Black Orc in front of him.

Scotty moves where the action is, but blitz being used, is forced to screen the opposing blitzer and a black orc who is currently lying on his back.

Spoon pushes one Mighty Blower out of contact.

And Blackbelt Jones skulls his block.


Mammothtank receives a blitz, from a Black Orc.

Mammoth falls, but is available for the next turn. Hey, at least he can stand up.

Scotty gets blocked as well. For a fun drinking game, count the number Scotty goes down to the pitch on this game.



It's just a stun this time. Phew.

Srihag gets pushed towards the end of the pitch and towards the side line.

And Spoon gets a taste of his own medicine as well.

That's two first turns done of the second half.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 06:11:14 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #5

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Scourge reinforces the left hand flank. He does that by blitzing.

That lineorc goes down.

Mad Max punches opposition Black Orc

It's a punch or be punched world, it's a jungle out there.

Blackbelt stands up and moves to mark opposition players

And finally, Tukost attempts to dodge away from the opposition troll Eye Puke

And attempt is called an attempt because it's not guaranteed to happen.


Mammothtank gets blitzed

It's a push.

The same with Blackbelt Jones

Srihag finally falls. Well, he distracted one black orc away from the center at least.

And the AI skulls a block


If you thought the above was hilarious, Scourge manages to double skull the next block

That's naturally a re-roll!


Which results in a push. Well better that than a turnover.

Since the opposition has carelessly left a blitzer next to the side line, Mammothtank blitzes



And he is out!

Blackbelt Jones skulls another one die!


Scotty immediately receives the opposition onslaught

Oh no, live orc, live!



Oh it's just a stun.

That's about what the opposition manages on their turn.

Since opposition has once again left a player standing next to the side line, that is immediately capitalized

Hur hur

Mammothtank pushes a lineorc in Scourge's line of fire

Who teaches the Black Orc communication to the lesser orc

Swashmebuckle screens the lower right corner of the loose cage. But that requires pulling a dodge. Since he has dodge skill, he will re-roll it automatically if it fails, saving us a team re-roll.

But he makes it anyways.

Our stuff is done, it's the opposition go

It's a double both down. Wonder if the AI re-rolls this?

Yes it does



So this is a war of attrition, I see where this is heading.

That's about what they manage this turn.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 06:32:03 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #6

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But that's luckily most of what they got done.

We stand up those who can be stood up.

Scourge reduces the pressure on the front of the cage wall.

No armor break here.

Spoon manages to get his bearings right, and smacks down Eye Puke (Wonder if the trolls select different adult names, or whether that name is the given name?)

Srihag continues to dodge away and be a nuisance on the upper right corner.

And that's our turn done.

The opposition troll is really stupid for once and can't figure out a way on how to stand up.

Their Black Orc strikes Scotty

Who goes to eat grass one more time.

Finally, they one die Scourge.

He falls on his back too.

Our turn. It's the 15th turn right here, and we need solutions. Since the middle pitch is unguarded, we ditch the plan of advancing from the left flank deeming it too difficult, and instead switch to middle pitch.

Tukost pushes a marking lino away.

Mad Max lands Black Orc on his back

Spoon advances to secure upper left corner.

Gobbo feels protected in the middle pitch.

Finally Blackbelt Jones closes the bottom right hand side corner of the cage. Try to get through this gentleorcs, will ya!

Srihag continues diverting the opposition strength, he dodges once away from the Black Orc.

Lookin' good boyz, opposition turn.

Scotty receives block, and this reads stay here and turnover for the AI.



It's transformed to push and a push.

Next he receives a one die blitz

Which accomplishes nothing.

The second blitzer then blocks

Which accomplishes nothing.

After three blocks, Scotty is STILL STANDING STRONG! WAAAAAAGH!

16th turn, the final turn.

Our gobbo advances next to hand off the ball. Pretty much have to do it this way, nobody else but Srihag can reach the finish line. Luckily the Black orc marking him has been distracted by the cage.

Sri-hag fumbles the pass


And it's a pass!


Srihag scoooooooores!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 10, 2016, 06:45:41 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bloody Skulls (Orcs), Game 7, Post #7
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Opposition gets Rip back for their 16th turn. That's actually pretty awesome accomplishment Spoon!

We deploy to standard defensive formation.

Swashmebuckle kicks


A blitz??!! Say no more!  :lol:  :drevil: :drevil:

Since the ball is falling to the middle pitch, but one tile closer to left, Mad Max and Mammothtank tag team one opposition blitzer




Now, that's pretty awesome!

Swashmebuckle and Squigmink retreat close to finish line, they are too beautiful to get punched

The opposition final turn starts with one of their blitzers injured. Enraged by this preposterous move, they blitz Mammothtank

Who laughs it off

Scourge finally gets the shorter end of the stick in teaching Black Orc communication


Just a knock out. Phew.

Blackbelt and Spoon receive blocks as well, Blackbelt is knocked down, and Spoon just pushed. Having seen enough, the referee blows the whistle.

Click here for the match outcome
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You know game, rolling one for winnings is starting to get on my nerves



Well I'll take that!

The MVP award goes to Mammothtank


Who, uh, managed 12 SPPs in a single match. That's crazy! MVP, score, and two injuries. Without saying, it's clear that he levels up!

Scotty and Mammothtank now both Mighty Blow.



Stay tuned for the match against the High Elves tomorrow.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on April 10, 2016, 07:10:46 pm
They really couldn't model a couple of extra faces for the fans? All the fans are humans from the same family it seems  :p

There is just so much troll in this picture  ;7
Apparantly I was enraged there was a troll that was prettier than me on the field. I had to rectify that problem at once. It's okay I then forgot what the rest of the match was about. (Seriously, how many times have I failed a 1 out of 6 chance? :p )
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on April 10, 2016, 08:17:14 pm
Scourge is simple Ork, happy to finally make hurty on puny humies and dorfs. Ha!

Side note: close to the end of page 3, I think an image got mixed around for a lady-selfie. I don't think it was intentional?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 11, 2016, 11:03:14 am
I think that image is ImgSafe doing its stuff the way it does. I've seen another incident earlier with a portrait of an old lady, but that one I picked up before posting. It probably has something to do with people posting images at the same time and poor server timing control on the ImgSafe's side. But it's a free service, so I shouldn't complain too much.

I'll remove that picture from the thread, it doesn't belong here, nor am I affiliated any way with the lady photographed, so I feel this is the best course of action I can do. Please let me know if this happens again.

There's probably one lady somewhere in the world wondering how her selfie got exchanged with a picture of a Black Orc.

They really couldn't model a couple of extra faces for the fans? All the fans are humans from the same family it seems

Yep, been thinking the same myself.

What it comes to Really Stupid, it is not actually only a 1/6 chance of failure to complete the action. That's valid only when somebody is standing next to you. When you are alone, you have a 50 % chance of failing the said action. Which is why you often see somebody standing next to Spoon.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 11, 2016, 05:24:08 pm
Ooh man, this match

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #1

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We are going against High Elves once again. "Flaming Silverleaves?" What's that supposed to mean?

Opposition invests in extra re-roll, we don't spend anything.

Stoopid poncy rich elves

Contrary to normal, we want to kick the ball against elves

This way if they score, we can receive the ball for the remainder of the first half, and receive it as well for the second half.

We deploy to a reasonable defensive line that effective blocks elf runners on the side lines

Swashmebuckle kicks the ball, and...

...the fans throw a rock on Tukost...

...who is now injured.

Bah, not gonna waste apothecary on him.

Interestingly, the elves fail the pick-up roll, and have to re-roll it

Srihag the upstart blitzer gets blitzed, but he sees only a push.

Our turn.

Spoon is himself once again. I already started to think he might become an asset.

Swashmebuckle reinforces right flank to allow offensive actions on the left flank.

Allow Mammothtank to demonstrate:




That's right. He killed the elven catcher. The apothecary is not used, so that elf remains expired, terminated, departed, passed, gone, dead dead dead!

Our first turn ends with a rather nice diagonal defensive line covering the whole pitch. And with a one dead elf, let's not forget that.


Reeling from the shock, elves blitz Black Knight

But it is a push.

Then they reinforce central pitch.

Our turn.

This time Spoon totally gets the idea of moving forwards by one square.

Scourge attempts to fall a lineman, allowing a direct blitz to the ball carrier.

Nein nein nein, das ist nicht gut! Re-roll!


So instead of a push and turnover, I get push and a turnover. Great. (This elf has dodge, making the defender stumbles a push)

Mammothtank blitzes, do it again, orc! He seems to be on a roll today!

Once again that is push or turnover. I know which one I'll choose.

The blocks we could block have been blocked, and we switch to the elves turn.

The elves counter-blitz Mammothtank. Quite understandably taking into account the recently departed.

It's a clean hit, and Mammothtank is stunned.

And then the elves fail a dodge roll.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 11, 2016, 05:49:34 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #2

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Today's menu includes fist to the nose

Fist to the chin served enhanced with an elbow to the gut

Finally Black Dynamite here serves the double skull sauce - oh wait



And the git had dodge, making it a push.  :hopping:

Mad Max closes the loop hole on the left

And Spoon continues serving the desert, which is fore arm to the knees this time. Bon appetit!

Pay close attention to the eloquence of the serving technique




And that's our weed-whacker turn with unnecessary restaurant slang.

The elfs blitz Swashmebuckle, but I have faith on him. He is hard to knock down, and proves that.

He gets pushed.

Seeing that Mammothtank is recovering from his stun and is in the near proximity, the elves leg it.


Embrace cowardice, I suppose.

Our turn, and I note a very interesting opening. The elven ball carrier is now completely unprotected from the left side.

Scourge moves to assist

And like the white shark looking for seals to eat, Mammothtank propels himself to the blitzing speed.

That's a push



Mammoth has tackle, which negates dodge. Take that elf!


The rest of our players take care to floor the marked players as the ball scattered even further backwards.

Spoon, how you feel about that three dice block?

Just a push.

Our fourth turn ends in opposition in disarray, and with a knocked off ball.

The elfs pick-up the ball.


And blitz Scotty.

Which doesn't work well.

Then they reinforce the ball carrier position.

And we get to employ the weed-whacker once again.

Blackbelt Jones floors one opposing player with ease

Scourge moves in to make dodging away harder.

And Mad Max double skulls the block attempt on ball carrier.

Gratz, the elves are now going to score. Note also that all our re-rolls have now been exhausted, given rather unlucky blocks by certain Black Orcs.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 12, 2016, 02:56:16 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #3

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Following that failure, the AI starts to run into advancing positions

Aaaand they fail a dodge roll

AI re-rolls! It succeeds!

Our ball guarding Black Orc Black Knight gets blitzed

He goes down. What did you expect?

Those in the immediate proximity of getting smacked retreat

The ball carrier himself runs to the right hand side

And their catcher advances to be in the scoring range next turn.

Finally, one high elf is screening our rear guard. They cannot reach the Catcher now.

That about concludes the elven turn #6.

In our turn #6, the first order of business is to decide the order of things. Standing players up and such is the first thing. Then moves that do not include risk.

Finally, with the risky moves, we want to do the most significant move first - especially without re-rolls. For this reason, Scotty blitzes the ball carrier.

And given the elven dodge, he only manages a push. Goddangit Scotty! (Shoulda blitzed with Mammoth here, he was actually in blitzing range, don't know why I thought he wasn't)

Now that Scotty failed, Mammothtank goes to guard the upper area.

Blackbelt Jones blocks one pesky elf (Blackbelt has Block, so this was relatively unrisky)


Finally, Spoon, would you kindly go breath on the neck of that elf? Given the size of the troll, I don't want to know how that breath smells like.

He actually does.

That's about what we can do, elves do your worst.

The elves first dodge out a player from the upper area of the field. (WTF AI?)

Our blitzer is awake

And it fails. Twice. Turnover

Oh, just when you think you've lost it, something like this happens. Harsh is Blood Bowl.

Mammoth, would you kindly eliminate that one pesky elf?

He does. The ball is caught by Blackbelt Jones! Try to dislodge that, elves!

Spoon, go one square down to reinforce the position

Oh well then, have it your way.

Srihag flattens one elf so that he has difficulties reaching the ball carrier.

Swashmebuckle advances forwards (but not too far to make him a target) so that he is in scoring range.

Scourge politely asks one high elf to lie down.

While Black Knight misses the subtlety of this approach, and rolls double skulls.


Scotty gets blitzed

And Scourge gets blocked.

However, the elfs are in disarray, and cannot mount offensive against us.

Our eighth turn starts in relative good positions, with elves surrounding the cage. No matter.

Mammoth does what he does best



Noice, that elf is gonna orbit Saturn for a while!

Srihag goes next

Uh didn't I just...


Deja vu

Scotty floors one more elf, and Mad Max engages blitzing mode

Blackbelt, hand over the ball to Swashmebuckle


He makes it. Probably the eighth wonder of the world.

Now Swashme, go score. I know there's one go for it, but do it anyways.



He scooooooores!

And conveniently just for the half time for maximum psychological effect!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 12, 2016, 03:33:48 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #4, Start of second half

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For the start of the second half (where we are receiving), we deploy to a more offensive formation.


The gobbo and Swashmebuckle remain behind to catch the ball, while the rest are just preparing to kick ass.



Well, there's always that. Show me what cha got AI!

Uh, what?

Yes, that elf dodged all the way down there, took one go for it, and went under the spot where the ball lands. This trick is specifically hilarious if you are playing skaven with a gutter runner and the ball lands far.

Srihag gets blitzed


And he is knocked out. Dangit, the second half isn't actually starting the way I intended.

But at least the elf fails to catch the ball when it drops down.

The immediate focus is of course to secure the ball. Swashmebuckle goes to screen the ball.

Mammothtank blitzes

He plants the elf ass down first, but scores no injury.

Scotty moves to screen the right hand side.

Gobbo goes to pick up the ball

With 67 %, he makes it on the first go. Amazing!

The Black Boyz on the line of scrimmage flatten the opposition front line, allowing Spoon to reinforce the ball carrying region. Spoon, you can make it, right?


He actually does for a chance.

Scourge flattens one more elf on the line of scrimmage with a well placed one die block, but then our moves are exhausted, and it is elves' go.



Somehow my Orc sense is tingling and telling that Scotty gets blitzed this turn.

He actually doesn't. Gobbo gets it this time.

The gobbo falls down, but manages to pass the ball to Swashmebuckle before falling to ground.

The rest of their turn is actually quite meaningless.

Our turn #10 sees first action as a blitz. Performed by Mammothtank.

The elf falls down, grinning. It takes more to get that sucka out of the game!

Swashmebuckle, concerned, runs to the relative safety of the beefcake wall.

The rest follow to complete the cage around him.


Yes, even Spoon.

Finally, Scourge pushes his luck with one die one more time.


He shouldn't. Turnover.

Our gobbo gets blitzed in retaliation.

That's two pushes I'm seeing! Time to take your own medicine, elf! Rest of the elven turn is spent repositioning their players in front of us. This is a smart move by the AI, but makes the game quite boring to describe, so switch over to our next turn.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 12, 2016, 04:12:40 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #5

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Mammoth does once again what he does best, and starts blitzing.


That's one stunned elf right there.

Blackbelt takes a shot to the elf next to line of scrimmage

What's it gonna be what's it gonna be what's it gonna be


It's a knock out! Well done Blackbelt!

Our eleventh turn ends in a rather tight cage formation in the center of the pitch

The elven turn is mainly again positioning players in front of us. Their blitz is against Black Dynamite, who was protecting the upper right hand corner of the cage. The blitz results in a push.

Blackbelt Jones blitzes first in our turn.

Black Dynamite pushes the opposition further.

Spoon, reinforce the right hand side of the cage.

And our 12th turn ends with a tight cage, come and try to steal the ball away from us!

The elves block Scourge, who goes down, but not out. They also dodge two players away, but that's about it really.

Our 13th turn sees Mad Max blocking elf once again to ground.

Then Mammothtank blocks

Oh, what's it this time?


Badly Hurt. Good enough, and congratulations of those 2 SPPs Mammoth.

In preparation of our assault through right hand side, Spoon advances

He's really been a good boy this time.

For a chance of SPPs, Scotty blitzes the isolated elf lineman. (And shouldn't that be a line elf?)

Gobbo, go kick that elf while he is down!


Oh, now that's interesting!

A niggling injury?  :lol:  :lol:

They use apothecary and re-roll the injury. It's a no casualty, and the blitzer is free to roam once again.

Unfortunately, also the Referee saw that, and for once orders the gobbo out of the pitch.

Get your pitchforks ready, that referee will have something to watch out for after the match. Think he is going to be taken by the Referee Protection Program, reserved for those referees that make the right call.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 12, 2016, 04:36:48 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #6, finale

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Given the sudden lack of players, the opposition turn #13 is quite ineffective.

They mount one blitz against Mammothtank.


Mammoth goes down, but that's about it.

Our turn #14.

Since elves went to the right side, we have to get the cage moving left. Blackbelt blitzes to clear room.


That's not good enough! Re-roll!


Good, now let the cage advance to the left!

Hey Spoon, get your ass over here!

Spoon: Uhhhmmmm?

That's about our turn #14.

The elves blitz Black Dynamite, still guarding the right hand corner of the cage. This is because Spoon is being Really Stupid, and forgets also to tackle the player running around him.

It's a push, but leads to another block by another line elf.

Who doesn't miss


Dynamite is once again Badly Hurt. With turn #14 running past, I ain't gonna Apo that. You never know what happens on the last turn.

Our turn.

I'll add this picture to show a historical event. Spoon is asked to move without anybody being next to him. He complies! It's madness!

Mad Max double skulls a block



Mammoth blitzes forwards

He clears out the elf, and forms the upper left corner of the cage (I know I know, I should count the tiles more carefully...)

Swashmebuckle goes to the center of the cage.

Our 15th turn ends with the cage breaking through on the left hand side, but the cage is painfully close to the line of scrimmage.

On their turn, elves once again screen, but given the lack of players, the screen is incomplete, and we can punch through.

However, on our 16th turn my mistake becomes apparent. Mammothtank is one tile too far away from being able to score. Thus the game will end in bashing, with the hopes of scoring a second touch down smashed.

Scotty blitzes (yes, he blitzes since he needs to level up)

Whoa dude!

You just killed their lineman! They cannot Apo that since their Apo is already spent to the niggling injury!

Spoon moves in to cage up a little more

The final turn

The elves block a couple of players, with the most significant being this



He's just Badly Hurt. No Apo this time then.
Hidden Text: Show

Click here to see the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
The game ends in 1-0 for us.

The MVP is Srihag, who levels up.

That's the distribution of SPPs here.

Srihag rolls a two and a two (a double), and has access to Agility skills which isn't normally the case for Orcs. He learns dodge to make him just that one bit harder to hit.

And given the amount of cash we have, to keep team value low, we invest in the stadium for more impressive estate of this sport.


Should have been more aggressive against those elves to score that 2-0 victory. Which is somewhat offset by two elven deaths. The Black Orcs are apparently really difficult to level up, as they have Agility 2, which makes it very risky to pass them a ball. So they mainly level from MVP and injuries. Which aren't apparently happening for them when they get injured all the time.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on April 30, 2016, 06:40:36 am
Apologies for sporadic updates with respect to the team, this is because I've switched jobs and partially moved to another location. The internet access has been somewhat limited, due to me not wanting to use the company laptop to do this. Since I'm home this weekend, I'll try to update two more games - however, 1st of May is looming in the horizon, with possible option of me experiencing self induced headache on Sunday.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 01, 2016, 12:38:29 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #1

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Alright, let's get dangerous again!

We are again play against the High Elves. The snobs. The high and mighty. The rich bastards. You know the deal.

Flaming Gladiators? Now what sort of team name is that?

The elves do not have anything specifically worrying skill, so we start the match.

We win the kick off event, and just as before, we select to kick the ball. This drive, I want the elves to come to us, and if they score, I want them to do it fast so there's time to catch up.

This is our line up here:

And Swashmebuckle kicks!

The kick-off event is Quick snap, which doesn't cause us any harm since we are the Orcs, and we like the players to be in contact.

Mammothtank gets blitzed, but it's a push.

Then the elves block Black Knight who is once again down.

Having picked up the ball and formed the cage, that's what the elves got done in their turn. It's ours go now!

Mammothtank flattens the elf:

Sadly no injury

Spoon agrees for once to reinforce the immediate front of the impending elf cage.

Srihag reinforces right hand side of the defensive line. Scotty follows close behind.

Our first turn ends in a tight defensive line-up.

Since their lineman was conveniently pinched against the border of the pitch, the elves attempt to dodge him away. Mammothtank is awake, and does not let that happen.

He actually injures the elf in the tackle. It's a pinched nerve, so their blitzer will miss the next game.

And harsh is Blood Bowl. Any moment a single failure happens, it's an immediate Turnover

Scourge immediately takes advantage of this and floor one elf.

Once again, no injury. Come on dude!

Mighty blowin' Mammoth blitzes the bottom left hand corner of the cage.

He knocks the elf down, but that's about it.

Hey Spoon, would you kindly block that one elf there?

Oh good, he obeys




Like I was saying, the wind direction changes frighteningly fast in Blood bowl.

The elves then try to dodge away from Mammoth.

Which turns out to be a bad idea.


So that's elves failing two dodges in a row. Mammoth is on a roll!

Scourge is sandwiching another elf against the pitch border. He takes a punch!




I don't know which one of those I'd take, a punch by a Black Orc or the audience jumping on me. But both at the same time? It's a knock out! Gotta love the referee looking at the block and noddin', yup, that's a clean block right there.

The troll, well, is trolling once again

Black Knight demonstrates the significance of having Block by rolling double skulls. Had he had block, the elf would've gone down! But alas, it's not meant to be!

Re-roll! And it's a push!

Scotty then blitzes the ball carrier with a one die. And pushes.

We end our third turn by leaving the elves in the middle of a smack down zone. Prepare for the pain!

The elves turn sees a two die block against Black Dynamite. It's a double skull once again. And Dynamite either doesn't have block, so it's both down.

And turnover. Man these turnovers are getting ridiculous.

Spoon, get up.

I'm starting to think about a theme song for Spoon. How's this:
Keep trollin', trollin', trollin'
Though the streams are swollen
Keep them dogies trollin'

Mad Max is luckily competent and strips the ball carrier of one defender

He stuns the hapless elf

Which is followed by a timely block from Blackbelt

Which is a knock out. Come on guys. You just need to roll one better to get levelled up!

Meanwhile, Scotty fowcibly wemoves the ball from the fingewnuts of the high elf. Vewy fowcibly. No injury, though.

Next, Mammoth blitzes, with the aim of just pushing the tackling player away.

Well you can knock him down as well if you want to.

He then does next something unexpected - he attempts to pick-up the ball! Come on 2/3 here!

He fails the pick-up. Re-roll!

And it strangely succeeds, given the amount of double skulls in this game I totally expected that to be two failures in a row.

The rest of the available players mark those elf players still standing.

That's our fourth turn right there.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 01, 2016, 01:10:36 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #2

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It's the fifth turn for the elves. They dodge away from the gentle looming blitzers, no doubt trying to blitz Mammothtank.



...they need to re-roll the dodge...


...which didn't help.

Turnover Dafuq game? Elves failing dodges left and right? What's the world coming to?

Mammothtank advances to a position to a score.

You remember that one game where we left that one Dwarf runner to blitz the ball carrier, which he did and succeeded after two go for its? This ain't that sort of game!

We pretty much flatten the elves close enough to reach Mammothtank.

But so many punches, yet the elves are probably laughing on the ground for such weak blocks coming from the Orcs.

On their sixth turn, the elves indeed remain pacified, and manage only one block against Black Knight, who of course, goes down due to lack of block.

Mad Max and Srihag play tag team here with the elf catcher. The insolence of flooring a Black Orc must be paid back!

Mad Max pushes

And Srihag finalizes the deal

Scotty and Swashmebuckle repeat the same for the elf lineman close enough to blitz Mammoth.

And yes, we are playing time once again. All elf has to remain prone on the ground until 8th turn. There's no way I'm giving them any chance of scoring!

The rest of the turn is just smacking elves down on the proximity of the Line of Scrimmage, where they are too far away to ever reach Mammoth. And the smacking? That's because I want the Orcs to level up. The problem is, they don't.

The elves seventh turn starts.

A prone elf blitzes Swashmebuckle

He receives a wrist punch to the face

And is knocked out

Don't tell me this is one of those games where we get outbashed by the zoggin' High Elves??!!

Luckily, rest of their players are just moving to improve the positioning. It's a bit too late now, elves.

Black Dynamite blocks one elf


Oh goodie, a cut-scene! Whatisitgonnabewhatisitgonnabe

A stun. Pfffft

Mad Max floors another one, but right now I'm looking at very distinct lack of injury given the amount of punches we've delivered in this game.

Mammothtank looks around and sees the oncoming elves.

Screw it. I'm gonna score.


So we are back to kicking the ball once again. The elfs have one turn left, during which they cannot score. Unless there's a riot. (Or they chainpush, but AI doesn't do that)

Swashmebuckle kicks

Please don't be a riot please dont' be a riot please don't be a riot

Apparently, we coaches are brilliant

It's just that the players suck.

You know the old saying easy come easy go? Well, this is evidenced by the elves, who fail their first pick-up roll.


Re-roll! And it succeeds!

After which they blitz Black Orc "The blitz magnet" Scourge

He goes down.

And that's about it. The elves fail a dodge roll, causing turnover. But our blocks on turn eight are no better, and the elves stand laughing at the "green terror" of the HLPBowlers.


So it's half time.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 01, 2016, 01:58:50 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #3, Start of second half

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The second half starts with our offensive


The positioning is there just to provide maximum muscle coverage, so that we literally have a beefcake wall from border to border on the line of scrimmage. The strategy? Beat everything that moves!

The kick off event is nice weather.

That's nice.

Scourge blocks first to clear line towards the elf near the border. This is followed by blitzing Mammothtank.


He floors the elf.

Scotty screens the bottom right corner of the ball handling area.

Squikmink picks up the ball

He continues to the warm comforting not to mention sweaty presence of the beefcake Black Orcs

Amazingly, that didn't even require a re-roll

Black Dynamite and Knight throw their blocks, but due to lack of Block, they have to settle with pushes. At least it's not a turnover.

Spoon surprisingly, throws a successful block. That's... unexpected.

He stuns the receiving elf.

That on the other hand, was less than surprising.

The ninth turn of the elves is short. They dodge away the elf that's pinched between the border and Mammothtank. But Mammoth doesn't care.


Note to myself: having an Orc with Tackle is extremely painful for the elves.


We immediately advance, Srihag leads by blitzing

He stuns the elf.

Spoon once again co-operates by moving to a place where he can be the maximum nuisance.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Squikmink proceeds to the center of the cage.

Our tenth turn ends in the goblin being protected with a tight cage, made of Black Orcs and Spoon.

The elves blitz the right hand bottom of the cage. Stay strong Scotty!


He actually does!



Whoa, that was fast. I have to say that the AI is ridiculously unlucky in this game. But so are we regarding injuries.

Our eleventh turn consists of clearing the cage of the surrounding elves. They go prone, but no significant events occured, until...

Scotty stuns the elf marking him.

The outcome of the eleventh turn is handily demonstrated in this screen shot

The elves are trying to contain the Orcs, but the Orc cage protecting the goblin is too strong for them to break.

Finally, they one die Scotty, who also goes prone.

On turn 12, we lead with Scotty blitzing another elf.

He drops the elf, and advances to right.

The ball follows

After pushes and some disappointing smacking, our 12th turn ends with Scourge closing the cage left bottom corner.

The elves reposition and attempt to surround the cage the best they can. Finally, they attempt blitzing the ball carrier.


That's not a very good probability move right there.




Followed by fail


Perhaps the AI felt this was the best option to intercept the ball? That was a one die block against a goblin with roughly 21/36 chance of succeeding the 50/50 dodge with a re-roll.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 01, 2016, 02:31:53 pm
HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #4

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The other's unfortune is typically other's fortune, and Blood Bowl would make a literal case of this. We happily accept the turn over and start smacking the elves.

Since he has block, Blackbelt goes first


One KO coming right up!

The rest of the turn is pretty much spent in knocking the elves down. But no injuries.

Swashmebuckle ends our 13th turn with a well-timed push.

The elves gather around Black Dynamite and blitz him!

They roll double skulls. Double clear skulls, so no block helps here.


What is this? Who gets the most turnovers competition or what?

In our 14th turn, after a couple of non-injuring blocks, our ball cage advances quite far.

Swashmebuckle takes advantage of his recent Dodge skill, and dodges away from the elves. Luckily he has Dodge, because the skill was needed.

Somebody standing next to him, it's easier to command Spoon. He is far more co-operative then. Spoon, block that elf!




Seriously, how the hell did you manage to knock yourself out??!!


The elves blitz the goblin.

It's a push. The luck in this game, it's amazing!

In our 15th turn, Blackbelt Jones takes a look at the elf who blitzed and laughs: "Hur hur Pipsquak!"

He very nearly manages to **** up a three die block, though.

It's a push.

Black Knight follows with a crowd surf

And not a scratch on that elf??!!

Mammothtank takes a two die block near the line of scrimmage. Two clear POWs is the result, and the choice is obvious.

He only manages to look slightly deranged on this action shot

Squikmink, go go go

Argh, not the hip thrusting victory dance!

So, we kick off once again. But the elves have only two turns, so I'd say the game is in the bag.

The beefcake wall is once again needed in the LoS.

The elves blitz Scotty.


Which would have been a turnover  :drevil: had they not re-rolled it into a double push.

Which, however, is followed by a failed dodge and the consequent turnover

Seriously, what the hell elves? You normally dodge these things with an assured smile! Then again, we normally injure opposition, and it definitely ain't Sparta here today.

The goblin gets the fouling turn. Go kick'em while they're down son!


Yes, that's 83 % probability of breaking the armor right there.


Which nets him the red card

The gobbo is out, and it's a turnover

We couldn't hurt them even on a foul  :(

The elves 16th turn is about as ineffective as they have been throughout the game. The final number stands at 2-0, with both sides being once again disappointed.


Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

The game nets us some hard cash

Mad Max gets the MVP, and levels up. The SPPs are distributed along Mad Max, Squigmink and Mammothtank

Mad Max level up skill, well, you'll see it next time when we go once again against the Dorfs!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 02, 2016, 02:05:16 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #1

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Alrighty, it's MATCH TIME once again

But I do have to say I don't like the look Mad Max has. He has that strange big eye thing going again. Did somebody put something strange to his food or drink?


Well, he can stand and run, so I see no reason why he should not be allowed to the pitch.

Let's have a look at the Dorf team:

Hmmm. They already have some guard. This is a very annoying skill which allows all the adjacent players to join their forces to a block action regardless if they are marked or not.

So, let's start the match.

Given that our team is much more valuable (HAH!) the dorfs have quite a bit of inducement money available. They get one extra dorf (Journeyman who has Loner) and go with Halfling Master Chef. That's also very annoying. It rolls dice to check how many re-rolls we lose, and how many Dorfs gain.

We lose the coin toss, and get the receiving end of the fist. Oh well, we deploy to the beefcake formation.

Swashmebuckle kicks...

...and once again it is generally acknowledged that I'm brilliant

Dorfs pick up the ball, and start their drive with assists and then blitz Scourge

Scourge falls to the pitch, but the armor holds.

The Trollslayer then blocks Blackbelt.



Ooooh no you don't Badly Hurt the only Black Orc with the Block skill. Apothecary! MEDIIIIIIIC!

Apparently, the docs misdiagnosed his condition, and he is ready to jump back to the pitch once the drive ends.

The dorfs then block Spoon. Pay close attention to the number of dice they used. One. They had 17 % chance of turn over, and 50 % chance of falling Spoon. Who goes down, due to lack of skills.


He is not injured, though. Finally, Black Dynamite goes down as well.

So let met get this straight: on their first turn, the Dorfs felled Scourge, injured Blackbelt Jones, dropped Spoon, and knocked down Black Dynamite. Talk about the beefcake wall here!

On our first turn, we immediately apply pressure to the left hand flank. We have to stop Dorfs from forming a cage, otherwise it's going to be very difficult to steal the ball!

Squigmink assists, Mad Max blitzes.

Mad Max: Me Blitz! WAAAAAAGH!


That's right, Mad Max has entered fey mood. Mad Max has gone stark raving mad! Mad Max is frenzied, and will from now on throw two blocks in a row! He punches the Dorf down. Hard. I'm sort of surprised Mad Max didn't grow three times more muscular and rip off his shirt!

Scotty, surprised by the events that just unfolded in front of him, can do nothing else but run forwards towards the ball carrier

Finally, Black Knight punches one offending Dorf down. But the dorfs are sturdy little buggars with a strong armor and even stronger skull, and the opposition is still going strong.

That's our first turn done.

On their second turn, the dorfs bring the ball forwards and start forming a cage. No surprise there.

This is the last moment Scourge stood on his feet on this turn

Black Knight gets one died

And goes down.

The two die block against Spoon though, I'm sure you'll agree, was a bit risky.

Sometimes that risk is just realized. Turnover

Srihag leads our counter-strike

Scotty moves in to assists, and Mad Max blocks. Frenzied.

Man that Orc rocks now. I've to find some shrooms for him for the next game.

Mammothtank gets the honor of blitzing the ball carrier who is now pretty alone. In the dark.

He succeeds, and a) knocks the runner down and b) releases the ball from the Dorf clutches. Unfortunately the scatter is difficult, and the team concentrates on securing the ball this turn, but not picking it up.

Angered by the insolence of the Trollslayer, Black Dynamite throws a block against him.



It's a stun, but a good reminder of the Black Orc Communication (TM). You don't mess with the best without repercussions. I feel like that is a good end punctuation to our turn, and we hand it over to the dorfs.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 02, 2016, 04:44:00 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
The dorfs for some incomprehensible reason, stay next to Scourge when they should be assisting the cage.  Well, I don't mind if the Dorf strength is split to several smaller pieces, there we shall win.


So basically Scourge has to take a couple of punches for the team. Stay strong Orc!

Next they get rid of Mammothtank who is guarding the ball.

The Dorf turn is abruptly ended as they skull a block against Black Knight. Holy Macaroni Batman, it's a Turnover

Mammothtank blitzes the Dorf that blitzed him. Call it karma.

Hey Spoon, go over there to secure the ball!

Spoon: Uhhhhmmm?

I've HAD it with this mo******ing troll in this mo******** team!

"Hey Spoon, check dis out!" says Swashmebuckle as he pushes the Dorf blitzer off pitch



The crowd niggles the blitzer! Swashmebuckle has probably already injured more players than Spoon, and he has only thrown a couple of blocks during these 11 games.

Scotty and Mad Max flatten the Dorfs guarding the ball, leaving Srihag with a runaway option towards the score line!


He luckily makes it. At this point I decide we have had our fun and return the turn to the Dorfs.

Scourge finally goes down, but it's just a scratched ego.

And the dorfs disperse towards the ball carrier.

They are able to circle the main group, but lack the speed to reach Srihag. This is good. The fourth turn on our side looks good from the get go.


Swashmebuckle moves in to assist a block against runner

Scotty complies, and the dorf is counting the stars

Mammothtank considers blitzing the dorfs, but this requires a dodge. 67 %, but with a team re-roll. No way Jose.

Srihag delivers


It's 1-0 on after fourth turn. The odds are against dwarves scoring. It's possible that they can do it, but unlikely. But there's no room to relax here!

We settle to the standard defensive beefcake line

Swashmebuckle does the honors once again



The dorf runner runs up to the ball to pick it up

He fails twice in a row at 67 %! Sure Hands saves the team re-roll, but the ball is down nevertheless.


Well well well, look who do we have here

Mad Max blitzes. He punches the dwarf twice, dangerously close to the border of the pitch. (The tactical threat of Frenzied blitzer is probably quite obvious at this point...)

Black Knight flattens one dorf to clear some space for maneuvering

Swashmebuckle reinforces the borderline position

And gobbo attempts to be useful by providing tackle zones

Scourge blocks. At this point my greed got the better of me. Push ain't good enough



Aaand it's a double skull. You can't say I haven't let Black Orcs block, but they just fail and fail in a row.


On their 6th turn, the Dorfs actually manage to pick-up the ball. They reinforce the ball carrier with one linedwarf, and block a couple of our LoS players. Also, the dude who got squeezed between the border of the pitch and Mad Max manages to push Mad Max back one tile. Despite that block being two die against him.

Our 6th turn starts by advancing Srihag

Mad Max and Mammothtank block and manage to drop the opposition to the pitch. No injuries though.

Swashmebuckle, I've got a job for ya. Go tease that ball carrier! Mark him!



Oh no you don't, re-roll!

And he makes it.

Our turn is then ended by an unfortunate blitz by Scotty. He rolls double skulls, and the re-roll being spent earlier,



The dorfs expectedly have difficulties in getting rid of the marking players around them. They manage to push a couple of squares forward and knock down the goblin, but that's it.

Mad Max moves in to assist in the block

Scotty blitzes the ball carrier

Since Scotty has Block and the carrier doesn't, the carrier goes down, and the ball scatters.

Srihag and Mammothtank move in to secure the ball

The rest commence smacking in the LoS

Which is interrupted by Black Knight double skulling


And the dorf goes down, stunned.

Our seventh turn is sealed with Black Dynamite double skulling


Srihag, Scourge and Black Knight go down on the Dorf's turn, but they cannot secure the ball.

Our 8th turn, the final turn!

Scotty blocks the ball carrier - this had better be good, Scotty!



He injures the ball carrier! Well done Scotty!

In attempt to clear players towards the ball, Blackbelt Jones blocks the Trollslayer, pushing him on the ball. The idea is to make the ball scatter to a more preferable position.

Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

The only thing left is a Hail Mary elf bull**** play. Mammoth, go pick up the ball


Stop pointing yourself and do it!

He actually makes it!


Mammoth, dodge away and hand the ball to Swashmebuckle

Yes, take that Go For It

He makes even that!
Well, hand of the ball to Swashmebuckle

Which works.

Swashmebuckle, dodge and score!



Whoa - I can't believe my eyes! I don't even want to know the chained probability for that happening.

That was awesome. It's half-time, and we are at 2-0. Not bad at all!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on May 02, 2016, 05:10:03 pm
Ha! Take that, dorfs!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on May 02, 2016, 08:09:47 pm
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 05, 2016, 07:29:40 am
HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #3, Start of second half

Hidden Text: Show
Alrighty, let's finish this match

The second half starts with our offensive

Note that the Halfling Master Chef has taken away our re-rolls. All of them. It reads 0 up there, check it out yourself. The dorfs have eight (8) re-rolls, as ours belong to them now.

For which reason, this is very welcome kick-off event

Dorfs kick the ball close to the LoS, so Swashmebuckle moves in to secure the ball

Mammothtank blitzes then the dorf next to the ball

The dorf is stunned

The LoS guys (except Spoon) make their blocks next. Blackbelt fells one, and Black Dynamite stuns another


I like the way Dorfs fly with their feet still in the normal standing position

After a couple of non-consequential blocks, it's time for Spoon. See the Trollslayer, Spoon the troll? Go get him boy!


Yes, it's a three die block. With such reinforcements around, it should be.


Wait what? Spoon did something useful? I mean like, really? No kidding?


With our 9th turn happily ending with a Badly Hurt Dorf, it's time to hand it over to the dorfs.

The dorfs reinforce the right side (why AI why?)

And then blitz the left hand corner, near the ball (which makes more sense)

And that's about it

Our tenth turn starts with Scourge re-establishing contact

Another push by Mammoth to move the Dorf close to the border

...which is finalized by a well timed blitz from Scotty


The dorf is stunned

Dem Black Boyz block the LoS dorfs, but nothing of importance is achieved there.

Swashmebuckle picks up the ball, and moves to a semi cage

Spoon agrees to go to guard a couple of more dwarfs

And Black Knight blocks the right hand side flanking dwarf





What? A second injury in a consequent turn! Are the Black Boyz and Spoon finally going to pull their weight, or is this just a streak of luck? Stay tuned for more!

Our turn is ended with Mad Max taking a one die against a dorf


Nope I ain't gonna re-roll that, so it's a Turnover. Learn to not roll ones.

As their first action of Turn #10, dorfs attempt to Block Srihag. Srihag has block skill, and I pick the dice. So they re-roll


Personally, I don't get it why AI did this first. There was a very small chance of that actually knocking Srihag down as I choose the dice.

And yes, that's of course a skull. Turnover.

For our 11th turn, Mammothtank advances as the last threatening dorf is down

Understandably, everyone free makes the cage.

Our pushing turn is ended with Black Dynamite rolling double skulls.

Nope, I ain't gonna re-roll that either. It just isn't worth it. Enjoy your stay in the hay, Black Dynamite!


This is incidentally why playing without re-rolls is not a good idea.

On their 11th turn, the dorfs only manage to mount one blitz against Black Knight on the right hand side. He goes down, but isn't even stunned.


That's about it from their side. Yes, knocking dorfs down reduces their options quite a lot. Drastically even I'd venture and say.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 05, 2016, 07:47:38 am
HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #4

Hidden Text: Show
The 12th turn starts with Swashmebuckle advancing


Naturally, the cage is formed far forwards

And now it's gonna be smacking time

Scourge blitzes

And the dorf is moved once again to the border

Blackbelt goes next


Well, I'll take that stun

Aaand that's about what we can do.


Dorfs blitz Black Knight, and it's a skull with a pow. He doesn't have block, so the one die is successful, and Black Knight is sent lying to the ground.

Mad Max gets punched as well, but no stun.

On our 13th turn, we lead with a couple of crowdsurfs


Scourge manages to push one out to greet the fans. I'd say the fans are greedy.

Srihag finalizes the deal


So long sucka. That superdwavenly tough opposition, no injuries or stuns from two crowdsurfs.

The ball is moved to the immediate vicinity of the score line

Nope, we are not going to score yet. Doing that now would mean getting punched by the dwarf team, and we don't want to go there. Yet. More players have to be removed first.

Spoon blitzes!

Our 13th turn is ended in to a rather nice and  strong position. If anything can be said, we are definitely dominating this match.

However, the 13th Dorf turn is quite inconsequential. They punch Mad Max down once again, but cannot reach our cage near the finish line.

So we start our 14th turn.

Scourge moves in to assist

And Srihag blitzes

Why this way around? Scourge has STR 4, and could have alone dealt with the dwarf if he blitzed. The problem is, he doesn't have block, while Srihag has. We want to maximize the chances of our blocks being successful and not wasting re-rolls.

He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

For a quick level up possibility, Swashmebuckle hands the ball of to Mammothtank (29 out of 31 already for next level)


The pass is fumbled. Re-roll!

Aaand Mammoth fumbles it again.



The dorf's 14th turn consists of a couple of blocks, but no moving is done here. Uncharacteristically, not even successful blocks.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 05, 2016, 08:04:48 am
HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
Our 15th turn sees Blackbelt Jones attempting to injure the Dwarf runner


No armor is broken.

Mammoth, pick that ball up will ya?



Well, that was fast.

The dwarf blitzer runs, dodging the Spoon's tackle, goes on with two Go For Its and attempts to pick-up the ball

The ball is in Mammoths tackle zone, so that's a 50 % pick-up chance.

Guess what?

The dwarf manages it, albeit with a re-roll  :mad:

And that's about their turn in the essence.

Mammothtank blocks the blitzer

The result is a push.

Then Scotty blitzes the blitzer

It ain't a knock down, so, we push him off the pitch.

The crowd then kicks the ball wherever it thinks the game would be most interesting. This time it is on the LoS.
Srihag catches the ball mid-air, and carries it now.


Spoon manages to push one tackling dorf out from the contact

Now that he is freed, Srihag goes forwards

We have to take those chances.

He ****s up the pass. Turnover

The game is ended with a dorf effing up a one die block with a re-roll against Mad Max


Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

Our winnings are below par, so re-roll


And we settle for even less cash.

Mammothtank gets the MVP once again.

Quite a bunch of SPPs are gained

Mammothtank, Scotty and Swashmebuckle level up. Congratulations!

Swashmebuckle gets Accurate for better passing performance

So that we avoid the little "incidents" such as in this game.

Mammothtank learns Piling On, and becomes a true Crushinator

(This skill generally has ridiculously awesome animation)

And Scotty is now a Tackling and Mighty Blowin' threat

The next game? That will be against humans.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on May 05, 2016, 10:30:53 am
He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

It only took like a gazillion games, but I finally got 2 SSP. Huzzah. The troll slays the trollslayer.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 05, 2016, 02:19:59 pm
He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

It only took like a gazillion games, but I finally got 2 SSP. Huzzah. The troll slays the trollslayer.


The troll is strong with this one

Coach's prep talk before da next match

Now lissen up boyz

We are half way bewween da leeg season and I haf some notes of yourr per-for-man-ce
Dem notes sayz dat dis orc team plays betta when it plays like dem sissies elves
Look at youselves, dem best playas iz blitza boyz und da thrower. Dem Black Orcz haf had horribla problemz at improving. Dem troll we not discuss.

Da most decorated playa is da throwa. So bevore next game, da HLPBowlers vill train extra dodge exercizes and dis-en-gage-ment from da contact.
Da throwa must practiz throwin', not only picking, und dem blitzers must practiz catching.
You understand orcz? We are nut gunna hit the oppo-sit-shun playas or hurt dem, but we avoid battle.

It goez against da Orc instinct, but it iz da only way, and I sees dat as da best thing I can do for da team. We beat the oppositshun in da runnin' game and out-smart-ing dem.
You hear me orcz? Good get your azzes on da field and start da run!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 07:03:09 am
Allllllright, you know what time it is now, don't you? MATCH TIME!

HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (humans), Game 11, Post #1

Hidden Text: Show
Today's match is going to be against the humans

Let's see how heavy brawlers they are now that the orcs are running!

And as is usual, HLPBowlers is more valuable, so we get inducements placed against us. Zug the Ogre, a Star Player, and a Bloodweiser babe, who helps in KO recovery.

In case you were wondering, this is the mug shot of Zug.

A charming fella

We win the coin toss, and deploy to attack formation. The black boyz and Spoon hold the center, while the blitzers blitz the flanks looking for crowdsurf possibilities.

Aaand it's a go!


Swashmebuckle moves in to form a screen for the ball

Then Blackbelt Jones blocks to release Scourge.


Who moves to secure the ball.

Mad Max marks the nearest blitzer, the greatest threat for catching the ball.

Srihag marks the right flank blitzer to remove reinforcement possibilities

And Scotty seals the deal by moving to assist Srihag, this way the humie is too weak to even one die without reinforcements. That area should now be pacified to an extent.

Mammothtank blitzes

And rolls double skulls

Looking at the turnover with steely eyes, he re-rolls the dice!




...and career kills the human blitzer by damaging his back. Well, that's an usual start for this team, but don't forget, we are still going to avoid contact as much as possible.

Spoon, would you kindly push the Ogre away from the front line?




He stuns the ogre! Hey, that's all we could ask for!

Black Dynamite seals the final gap in the ball pick-up screen

Finally, Squigmink picks-up the ball

Oh I'm sorry, did I say he picks up the ball? I meant did not pick up the ball.


Signifcant fraction of the Heavy Brawlers turn is spent getting their players up, and moving the back field players towards the LoS. We see a couple of interesting developments

A blitzer gets closer to the ball pick-up screen

While Scotty gets blitzed


Two players and two players and a two die block? Yup, missed that Guard skill right there

And that's about their turn.

Our turn #2 starts

Frenzied Mad Max commits two blocks in a row


That's one more humie blitzer out, but the crowd is not rowdy enough to hurt him. The current ratio of players is 11 to 9. That should give us more room to run around.

Blackbelt Jones pushes the marking lineman away.

Which gives Mammothtank the much needed room to rev that blitzing engine. Push that Catcher away and clear a path!

The Catcher goes down, but is not injured

Coach: "Pass him Mammoth!"

Mammoth: "Oukkie-doukkie coach, piling on!"




HLPBowlers: "Whoa, did you see that dude??!!"

No no no no, you were supposed to pass him and move on, not pile on him!

Squigmink moves aside and let's Swashmebuckle do the honors of picking up the ball. He has Sure Hands anyways, so if the pick-up is once again fu... fumbled, team re-rolls are not going to be used.


Which isn't needed, and Swashmebuckle picks up the ball like a champ!

Finally, Srihag one dies the humie

Good, a push is all that is needed. Push him towards the border!

And that's our second turn done.

I have to say I didn't expect the humans to blitz this part of the field

The further developments are about equally unexpected

Our two blitzers are then tied to the right hand borderline, and their immediate future in the hands of the crowd looks painful.

Finally they block the route for our ball handler with an additional player

Our #3 turn starts now

Swashmebuckle moves the ball ahead

Squigmink screens the right hand flank. Feels a lot safer this way right, Swashmebuckle?

Mammothtank blitzes the same catcher


Good, the catcher is down! Keep on sliding past him!

Mammoth: "Sure coach, piling on him!"


Oh nonononono

Oh well, the catcher is stunned, so he won't bother us next turn.

Black Dynamite moves in to assist the ball handling screen.

Spoon, push the Ogre away

Yup, he rolled a double pow skull. The Ogre has Block, Spoon doesn't, Spoon goes down.


The result of this fuc... fumble is immediately felt by Srihag who gets to say Hi to the fans



He's just badly hurt. Ok, 10-9 now.

Scotty is next in the line of fire

And as if that wasn't enough, he gets blocked once again

It's a clean hit but not towards the crowd, and Scotty remains on the pitch

The masked crusader takes one block from Zug, but he stays strong

Finally, a second catcher is moved in front of the ball cage to make scoring more difficult.


And that's the third turn down.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 07:42:23 am
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
Mammoth, go ahead and clear the path! Blitz the catcher!


Jump past him!

Mammoth: "Jumping on him!"

Goddammit Mammoth!



Well, that catcher is also stunned now.

The rest of the nearby players run up to re-form the cage


Mad Max floors one lineman, Scourge assists


Well not only he floored him, Mad Max also flattened him. It's 10-8 now.

Being unmarked and prone, Scotty gets the hell out of dodge

Spoon is being really stoopid once again

The idea of standing alone next to Ogre dawns on the Black Knight, so he makes a risky dodge at 50 %

And succeeds

And that's our fourth turn done.

Realizing that their players are a bit on the wrong side of the field, humans start to run towards the ball carrier

While Scotty and Black Knight have to bear the brunt of the human offensive power
The Ogre blitzes!


And Scotty goes to eat grass

And that's the Heavy Brawlers #4 turn done.

Our 5th turn is once again started with Mammothtank blitzing to clear the path


Dump the catcher, Mammoth! Go for it!

Mammoth: "Jumping on the catcher!"


HLPBowlers: "Jump on it! Jump on it!"


Black Dynamite, push that catcher away!

He double skulls! Sigh. Re-roll!


This is probably the most awesome screenshot of the match

Black Dynamite: "Now itz between you and me punk! Dis can only end too wayz, and in bow of them, you go down!"


That's 10-7 now.

Scourge moves in to block access to the cage

Mad Max reinforces Swashmebuckle

Swashmebuckle moves forwards

Blackbelt and Squigmink close the bottom part of the cage


Spoon actually obeys for once and get's up even when there's no-one near by

Scotty dodges and runs away

Black Knight follows the suit

Now that's the way da play elf, Orcz!

And our fifth turn ends there

Humies are worryingly gathering players around Scotty



Then the cage gets marked

And then the Ogre blitzes Scotty


Pffff! Bahahahahahaha!

Finally their catcher dives away.

Which doesn't work as intended, as Mammoth has his eyes on the catcher.

And the fumbled dodge gets re-rolled, and catcher makes it.

That's their fifth turn done.

Seeing the crowdsurfing opportunity, Mad Max blitzes!

And you get blocked twice with this orc!

The catcher goes out, and it's 10-6 now.

Swashmebuckle moves in to a more secure position

And Black Dynamite assists

Scourge's block isn't as good as it promised to be

Black Knight takes the right hand flank of the players next to the cage

After which I immediately realize the mistake, Spoon should have moved first!

Having nobody to support his decision making, Spoon is left sucking his thumb and wondering how far he was supposed to go.

Finally, Scotty attempts to dodge away from the humies

He fails

Ain't gonna re-roll that


Being the only player alone, the humans swarm Spoon, while the Ogre blitzes!

The troll takes one to the chin

Then the catcher attempts to block Black Knight. It's two dices against him. I know.

That gets re-rolled as I know what I'd pick!


Hur hur

It's a push, and that's all about what they could do on their #6 turn.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mammothtank on May 14, 2016, 07:56:38 am
Goddammit Mammoth!

I do what I want. :p
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 08:09:35 am
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
Blackbelt, how you feelin' about that block? Here's your chance for SPPs!


A double skull?? Well you have block so that's ok.

Scourge, how you feelin' about the block? Here's your chance to SPPs!

Black Knight finally nails it

Mammoth, blitz the blitzer so that Swashmebuckle cannot in any feasible way to be blitzed!

Oh FFS, you can do better than that!




He KOs the blitzer, so it's 10-5 now.

Mad Max screens the upper right corner

While Swashmebuckle hides behind the cage

Scotty is now free, and runs to catch up the rest

That's our 7th turn right there

The Ogre blitzes Blackbelt

This time it is lucky that Blackbelt has Block. The Ogre goes down.


It's our 8th turn

And once again we lead with a blitz. Without a re-roll, this is risky, but it's a three dice block, so the odds of failure are very low. We could do with a couple of SPPs here, so why not?




Mammoth stunned the humie! Slide on! We need more three die blocks

Mammoth: "Piling on!"


Goddammit, orc!

He injures the catcher, who is now Badly Hurt. 10-4 now.

Given that there aren't any three die blocks to be had,


Swashmebuckle SCOOOOOOORES!

And for the last part of the 8th turn, we deploy to a defensive formation

Swashmebuckle kicks the ball

And the fans throw a rock to the pitch, knocking out a humie

Humies manage two blocks, but they are inconsequential. Thus, the first half is concluded with 1-0, and some problems on fulfilling the coach's vision on how to play the game

Half time, beer and sausages!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 10:44:58 am
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #4, Start of second half

Hidden Text: Show
The second half starts with us kicking and the humies receiving. So we deploy to a defensive formation.


The name of the game is to kick the ball to their side, and then run there and intercept it.

Swashmebuckle kicks

Oh Snap!

The humies regroup to a different formation



So they have made three quarters of the cage, and blitz with the Ogre

Black Dynamite goes down, but is OK.

Our turn.
We start by getting the prone players up, and then open with Blackbelt blocking the lineman to clear up the path for the cage

Mad Max blitzes and fells a catcher, then moves in to mark a blitzer and left border.

Then Mammoth advances

Squigmink goes behind to provide some tackle zones in the event both Mad Max and Mammoth go down.

Scourge marks catcher next

Black Knight pushes the lineman further, to get closer to the cage and ball carrier

Scotty blocks the entrance to the right hand side of the pitch

Spoon! Spoon, block the Ogre! We don't want to get on the receiving end of his Mighty Blows! A push is all we need







I love the Spoon's expression on the last two images. Took me a while to figure out why it looks so familiar, but then it dawned to me


Zug is then Badly Hurt, and out of the game. I could almost forgive Spoon the amount of Really Stupids he has rolled. Almost.

Our ninth turn ends with human offense being stemmed, and we are ready to run once again.


On their tenth turn, humies advance on the left hand side.


And "blitzmagnet" Scotty gets blitzed (why AI why?)

Scotty goes to eat grass once again.

Our tenth turn starts with players being already in contact.

Mammothtank blocks

Not good enuf. Re-roll!



For the event of critical failure (well, we are once again rolling skulls like nothing), Squigmink goes behind to provide tackle zones.

Mad Max then blocks the Catcher

After three two dice blocks, we finally get him down. That's the power of Block and Dodge, affectionally known as blodge., as in "in blodge we trust".

Spoon, we need some muscle on left side, get your ass over there!

Spoon: Uhhhhhhh?


After a rather embarrassing three dice block ending in a push, Black Knight is unmarked and goes to left in anticipation of assisting next turn.

Scotty gets up and marks three humies around him. It's likely Scotty gets to face the dirt once again, but at least then one player remains where he is.

Tukost has the last action this turn, and makes a block on the blitzer that has caused us so much trouble on the right hand side.





And he career kills that blitzer by breaking his back.

Now to recap, at the end of our tenth turn, we have injured four humies, so the numbers on the pitch are 11 vs 8 as they hired a star player.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 11:15:11 am
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
'umies reinforce the left hand side.

Mad Max gets pushed away

And then Mammoth gets blocked

And the blitzer then piles on him. How ironic.

But that Orc armor holds, and he is OK.

Scotty is pushed away, leaving a catcher free to assist on the left side.


And that's the 'umies 11th turn done.

Black Knight moves in to assist. His game sense was tingling on the right frequency last turn.

Swashmebuckle moves towards left as well. We need a layer of two players deep to make dodging to our finish line as hard as possible.

Tukost goes assist Scotty

And Black Dynamite brings general beefcakeness towards the cage and the ball carrier

Spoon decides it's OK to move towards the ball this turn

Mad Max flattens a blitzer. We need a path to get that ball. Even if try to play non-violently this time.

Scourge removes one assist on the top side of the cage

The catcher is now eating grass, but he is otherwise OK.

Scotty then keeps the lineman prone

Our last action is a blitz by Mammothtank. He attacks the ball carrier directly. Unfortunately, we could not get an assist, so it's 1 vs 1

And like a hungry wolf, he rolls a clear POW



The thrower is stunned! Hey Mammoth, don't jump on him, we need you up for next turn!



Mammoth: "Whazzit? I cannae hear over da sound me jumpin on da humie!"


Squigmink, go there and be an annoyance for anyone attempting to pick up the ball. I know we aren't this turn!

And that ends our 11th turn.

As their first act, the humie catcher goes up there to the ball, and single handedly picks it up.

That's what you get when you trust a gobbo in to an orc's job!

Speaking of Squigmink, he gets blitzed next.


Somehow that gobbo survived the crowdsurf. Gotta applaud the lil' fella, this does not happen often

Mad Max then gets pushed

And as their last move, they move the catcher who was guarding the ball carrier away from him


Well, we ain't gonna open that gift horse's mouth.

Scourge blitzes the ball carrier away from the pitch.


No injury though.

As an interesting development, as the ball scattered to the audience, the audience and fans fight for a while who gets the ball. Whoever got it kicked it out, and on the score line of the humies.

Change of plans: RUN!

Scourge, mark that lineman pronto!


Scotty blocks one lineman down so that Tukost can guard another lino!

Swashmebuckle, the opportunistic ball shark, RUNs ahead as well.

Black Dynamite makes a flanking maneuver to further reduce the accessibility of the ball

Blackbelt goes to guard another lino

Mad Max blocks



He Badly Hurts the catcher. I mean, what's with the player removal in this game? Then plan was to push and run, instead the opposition is dropping like flies?

Spoon and Black Knight reinforce the left hand side to take care of the blitzers.

At least one is floored, so that's good too.

And that's about our 12th turn done.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 11:44:22 am
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #6

Hidden Text: Show
Understandably, the humies suddenly found themselves in a hurry to their finish line

The catcher who can reach makes the dodge, and gets to the end zone.

He also picks up the ball

Then the humies block Mad Max. Given the beefcakes around, it's two dice against the humie

That's a re-roll!




We cannot run as fast as the humies, so no attack is possible this turn on the ball carrier. What we can do though is to run like the wind to form a wall of biceps and abs in front of him.




Spoon, recenter yourself!

Spoon: Uhhhhhh?



Mad Max blitzes the humie to release Scotty

Run Forest Scotty run

And so ends our turn 13.

The 14th turn of the opposition starts with the ball carrier moving forward.

Then Spoon (!) gets blitzed.

You lucky son of a...

... and that's the blitzer with Piling on

There lies the troll, frolicking in the grass, with his ego hurt

Our 14th turn starts with Spoon getting up

Now that's weird

We move to assist in the block against the ball carrier. That should be quite easy, given the amount of players here.




Then the blitz by Scotty, he needs the SPP if this is an injury

It's a clean POW!

The ball scatters, so move to assist, we still cannot pick it up this turn

Finally, the left hand side blocks
This Black Orc communication is by Black Knight







The crowd hurts him badly, and one more humie is out.

We end the turn 14 in quite good offensive position, with the player numbers being 11 against 5.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 14, 2016, 06:28:37 pm
HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #7, Finale

Hidden Text: Show
Well, the humies try to secure the ball. From a tackle zone to a ball pickup, that's 67 % and 67 % in a row, so around 44 %.

The catcher fails the dodge once

And twice

Annoyingly, he also falls on the ball, and scatters it off the pitch.

It ends up slightly above the LoS.


Well, our fifteenth turn starts with simply securing the ball





Mammoth blocks the lineman



He straightens the lino for good! So that is 11 against 3 at this point....

Swashmebuckle cannot reach the ball without a Go For It, so he moves to secure the ball

Scotty moves to scoring range

Our 15th turn ends like this

On their 16th turn, humies try to reach the cage

And blitz Spoon again

That's a re-roll!


And Spoon is content getting pushed around.

Mammothtank blitzes the piling on blitzer

And it's once again a double push. We are not going to re-roll, as we might need one for the ball handling actions.

Swashmebuckle picks up the ball with Sure Hands

The skill is actually used, meaning that without him, the re-roll would have been spent here.

Then move next to Scotty, and hand the ball of to him

Come on orc, this is your time to shine, Scotty! Run Forest run!

Scotty fails the catch


And he fumbles it once again


We win the match 1-0!

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
And would get 30 grand in the winnings

Not good enough, re-roll that, can't get any worse!

Yea, that's what we want to see!

These are our SPPs from the match

Black Dynamite got the MVP, while Mammothtank injured four alone, netting him 8 SPPs. Spoon, Tukost and Mad Max got their points from injuries as well, and Swashmebuckle scored the only goal.

This is the human team after the match

Not so heavy brawlers after all, are we?

As the league has progressed to half way point, the league statistics are also here:

Next time we go against the high elves once again.


Coaches talk after the game:

Now wat is diz orcz? Stop grinnin', you injured da other team when I asked you da run. That'z not how you obey da coach! You'll get it eazy dis time since we won da game!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on May 14, 2016, 10:23:26 pm
For all my amazing stupidity and general uselessness. I do have it out for their star players. I've taken out 3 of them so far? Clearly there can be only one star on the field!
Mammothtank's pilling on is definitely the best skill we've got on the team so far  :lol:

Is my beautiful troll face now 1 spp away from a level up?

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 15, 2016, 06:41:09 am
You are two SPPs away from leveling, so that's one injury.

Technically you are not a Star Player yet, by the game's definition, that would mean you should have +176 SPPs. You currently have 4, so there's a gap. However, you do have a thing with the other teams' Big Guys and Star Players, apparently you just don't like them.

The reason Mammoth the Murdermachine rocks now is the combo of both Mighty Blow and Piling On. Mighty Blow adds one for the armor or injury roll, while Piling On allows re-rolling the injury.
Basically with the current teams, only Chaos is bashier than Orcs (but it's a lot scarier), with their all players having an easy access to Claw, Mighty Blow and Piling On. Making a CPOMBer a concept. Claw reduces the player's armor to 7, regardless what it was before.  :shaking: So your AV 10 Deathroller or Treeman is crushed as easily as the Skaven lino, as are AV 9 Orcs. Claw doesn't have any effect on Woodelves or Skaven, though, as their AV is already 7. The balancing thing is that Chaos struggles a lot in the beginning with players having no skills to begin with.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 07:50:56 am
Why watch the hockey championship games when you could be playing Blood bowl?

For this game, I have a special request for the viewers. Find your favorite bottle of strong liquor, and take a shot every time somebody rolls a skull.

HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #1, Now with a drinking game! Take a shot every time somebody rolls skulls!

Hidden Text: Show
We go against the High Elf team Bright Princes. It's not known whether this refers to their intellectual capacity or just their shiny armor, but given that this is blood bowl, I'm gravitating towards the latter.

So yeah, dodge in abundance and some block. No matter.

We're once again more expensive, so they get to place the inducements

Dolfar and a babe. Dolfar is an elf star player who is strangely said, one of the less annoying star players.

He looks like this

We win the kick off, but select to kick. This is because we're playing against elfs, and **** playing the rest of the game with elfs receiving.

Our Maginot wall is like this

...and it's a go!

Swashmebuckle kicks high

And as usual, the elfs form a cage. The cage is well away from the orcish contact



Well, Black Dynamite seems to be receiving a block this turn.

And Dolfar moves in to close the access to the ball carrier

Black Dynamite then receives a push.

Oh, and take a shot (Shot count 1)

The opening is immediately taken advantage of.

They seem to be forming a wedge to penetrate to our territory. We'll see about that.

Being scared by the towering Spoon, the elf runs away from him

But Spoon tackles him (for once!)

You gotta watch out for those trunks of arms!


Oh and don't forget, that was a skull as the dodge failed! So one more for the team (Shot count 2)

Our turn #1
Since I'm not willing to sacrifice the back field protection in the event everything crumbles to pieces, this time the Black Boyz take the first shots.... err, blocks.

The always reliable Blackbelt Jones floors first elf

Tukost moves in to close a gap between Spoon and the Black Boyz, but mainly he is there to remind Spoon what he has to do

Since the elfs concentrated their players on right hand side, our left side moves in to pressure the elfs from the side. Scourge leads the charge!

Gloriously stopping before any contact is made, but guarding the two elfs if they stand up next turn.

Swashmebuckle goes next to Spoon to close the gap between Spoon and Scourge, should Spoon become stupid once again, he won't be able to tackle either.

Mad Max and Mammoth move closer where da action is


Black Dynamite pushes a line-elf away. The story doesn't tell what was the other dice roll, so you'll be safe for a second.

Srihag and Scotty tag team Dolfar. Get rid of him!


This is once again a push, but the history has already forgotten what was the other die.

Black Knight moves in to guard the space

And finally Spoon. He only needs to move one square. 83 % odds for yes. Will he make it?

He does. And that's our turn spent, so we return to the elfs.




Hmm, they seem to be retreating the cage to a safer back zone. This could get bad if they do that. Remember kids, elfs outrun Orcs 2-1.


Uh what? They didn't move the ball carrier? Why AI why?

Well I don't complain, it's our turn #2.

So we roll the dice.

Blackbelt goes first. He doesn't need nobody to assist him, he's a strong orc!

Oh, and take a shot. That's a clear white skull there (Shot count = 3)

Scourge flattens anudah one

Mad Max and Mammoth tag team Dolfar



Hey, do you see what I'm seeing? I'm seeing a white skull right there! So grab another one (Shot count = 4)

Mammoth does the Orcish greeting dance for Dolfar. He does it on him.

That elf is going to remain prone the next turn.

Black Dynamite floor another elf

And in an attempt to give him an easy block, Spoon goes last to block one elf who doesn't have anyone assisting him. So this is an easy two die block.

Well, there's always that, though. Since failing Really Stupid is 1/6, that's a clear skull. So take a shot! (Shot count = 5)

That's our turn done then.

The elfs attempt to re-position. This is easy, as now Spoon doesn't have a tackle zone. Look, he was just scratching his head. The hand is still there!

And Scotty get's blitzed. Deja vu anyone?


He receives a wrist punch (that's how it looks to me, with the experience of having practiced that myself)

Srihag follows suite

Aaaand that's about what they could manage in their turn, picking up their players and downing our left hand side blitzers.

The orcs do what orcs must do, block.

Black Knight blocks one in front of the ball carrier

Following his pacifistic instincts, that's a KO.

Scourge floors one more elf.

Spoon now gets a three dice against the last ball guarding elf.

Oh you stoopid little troll!

Tukost then smashes one behind Spoon

Mad Max blitzes

A push and, you guessed it, a skull. Start sipping it! (Shot count = 6)

Re-roll! (Which wasn't necessary, Max has Frenzy and would have got another block anyways)

Now that's better!

The elf is down, but no injury.

To prevent the ball carrier from moving, Mammothtank gets up, and runs


He makes it through two Go For Its without any re-rolls! What a champ!

And that's the third turn down.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 08:28:09 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #2.

Hidden Text: Show
So, turn #4 and it's elfs' go



So they are advancing rapidly on the right hand side. Now make sure that ball carrier wont move!



So an elf screen eh?

Mammothtank gets pushed away

And they blitz with a ball carrier towards their defensive zone??!!


Gee, Mammoth's reputation must already be preceding him! (Had they passed to the players on our side, there would be no way of stopping them from scoring)

And don't forget, that was a skull. Gulp down another one! (Shot count = 7)

Our turn
Srihag, close the gap!

Scotty, you too!

And we roll!
Swashmebuckle goes first


He rolls a stunned elf!

Cackling and tackling Mad Max takes down this elf

The Black Boyz advance

Followed by Tukost

Scourge blocks, and rolls a double skull!

Sip it down, folks! (Shot count = 8). Make it a double to signify this event!

And that's definitely a re-roll!

Which makes it into a double push. Well it is better than a turnover.

Blackbelt Jones then blitzes the ball carrier!

Aaand it is a skull and a POW. Take sip for the skull! Shot count = 9

Blackbelt knocks the ball carrier out! Don't worry Blackbelt, the audience is in the process of knocking themselves out!

Mammothtank then blocks one elf

And I do see a bit of skull there as well, so grab that good-old-moonshine once again! Shot count = 10

Those who were wondering whether Mammoth jumped on the elf?

Yes he did. But no injury.

Spoon, get your ass over there!

See, there's one Go For It, and there's one troll. Guess what happens next?

He rolls a skull. Shot count = 11, you'd be well advised to find a new bottle for re-filling the glass, AND some painkillers for tomorrow morning!
I was half expecting Spoon to die right there.


One elf still advances forwards

The next dodges away and grabs the ball (in our tackle zone), that's high elves for you. Then he gets out of dodge!

And then the players on our end realize that the player on the left hand side is quite vulnerable, and try to render assistance. Unfortunately, their range only gets them close to Swashmebuckle.

Who gets then blitzed

It's a push, and our fifth turn!

This turn is mainly going to be re-positioning, so feel free to skip if you are only looking for injuries.

Scourge marks the ball carrier. That's the most important thing done first.

Scotty prevents the elfs from reinforcing

Blackbelt blocks one marking elf down.

Mammothtank moves in

And our weapon of choice for blitzing today is Tukost.


Drink it up! Shot count = 12

Nope not good enough, I want the ball off! Re-roll!


And it's a skull one more time! Shot count = 13. We take both down to get the ball away from the elf's fingernuts!

Tukost knocks the elf out!

(The way I think about this going down is Tukost seeing the elfs wrist approaching him while his nears the elf's nose. He knows what's gonna come, but just bites harder, this one is for the team!)


The last player on our side runs up

One elf dodges and grabs the ball. You know, the usual stuff

Then the attempt to form a screen around the ball carrier.

And then blitz Mammothtank. Dammit, my weapon of choice

Which is a skull and a push. Come on, do it! Tukost took a punch, you take a shot! Shot count = 14

And the last elf runs from the middle of Orcs, not getting tackled, but that's not a surprise for anyone.

Their turn is abruptedly ended with a failed dodge.

Go on drink one (Shot count = 15)

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 08:50:14 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
Swashmebuckle starts our blocking turn

A skull is rolled once again, so gulp up! Shot count = 16

However, Swashmebuckle has block, so he stands, while the elf goes down.

Blackbelt goes towards the ball

Scourge goes to assist the inevitable block

While Srihag makes sure dodging ain't gonna be easy

Black Knight moves next to Spoon, so that we can get him up. But will Spoon stand up this turn?

He actually does.

Mad Max takes the blitz. Because of frenzy, he has two attempts, but it requires a go for it. Risky risky.

He succeeds with the first


Next, Mammothtank blocks the pesky elf that prevented his blitz

Aaand that white thing there? That's a skull, so once again let liquor flow over your tongue! Shot count = 17



Mammoth only manages to stun the elf by jumping on his thorax. You can't win every time! That's 18 now!

That's our 6th turn done.

Dolfar blitzes Mad Max the ball carrier. He rolls a skull.

19th shot right there!


Mad Max legs it. It's his chance for fame and glory!

Scourge, Tukost and Scotty move up to screen Mad Max

Whatever it is that is coming after Mad Max, it has to go through these three fellas first.

Swashmebuckle goes to assist

Black Knight and Spoon guard one elf

Then we commence blocking. Srihag and Mammoth both roll double pushes. Disappointing, but better than skulls. At least for the audience's health.

Black Dynamite fits a fist to the chin of the second last elf standing

And Blackbelt moves to screen

Our seventh turn is now done!

The eight turn of Bright Princes is a short one

Tackle showcase by Black Dynamite. Skulled once again, so we break the limit of 20 shots before half time!

Understandably, anything we do is a risk, and given a chance of scoring, we score.


Now see kids, while Mad Max looks deranged and frenzied, he is a nice orc outside of the pitch!

And it's half time!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 09:59:54 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #4, Start of second half

Hidden Text: Show
So, second half

Despite our best efforts of reducing the head count of the elf team, things haven't worked out as well as I'd have hoped. Especially as their knocked out players all recover. Remember boyz, da runnin' game.


Our offensive formation is a bit different this time. It is unlikely the elfs could break our center even with a blitz kick off event, so we leave the back part of the center relatively unoccupied and bring more forces to the sides

Man, the shoulder tendons of these elfs... usually teams have problems in just kicking the ball to the other side of the pitch


Squigmink goes under the ball in an attempt to catch it

He doesn't, but no matter. It's our turn anyways. Not sure whether this should be a shot taking round, as this is principally just before our turn starts.

Srihag and Swashmebuckle form an immediate screen around the ball


And then we commence blocking. It has better odds than picking up the ball at 67 % with the gobbo.

Blackbelt rolls the first skulls this half.

Gulp it down! Shot count = 21. We take the both down, as Blackbelt has block, and the elf doesn't.

Black Dynamite pulls clear double skulls. What's wrong with these elfs? Just as if they had gone through some sort of tai chi course of returning power coming towards them.


... to a skull and a pow. The elf has dodge, so he remains standing. And don't forget, there's one skull in those dice, so shot count = 22. In case you're still able to read this, increase the dosage. In case you are not able to read this, increase the dosage anyways.

Mammoth rolls a double skull next. Luckily, it's a skull with a pow, so we take that. No result though as the elf blitzer also has block.

Oh and don't forget your medicine. Shot count = 23.

Black Knight rolls a skull and a push.

Yup, shot count = 24. Really, what's up with these tai chi elfs?

Scourge, who is without any skills, rolls theb a double POW, but this elf blitzer has block and dodge, making him very difficult to knock down. He is pushed instead.

Mad Max adds a bit of tackle zone to the border of the pitch.

Spoon for once does something, but all he manages is to push the elf lineman.

At the end of our turn, Squigmink picks up the ball.

He succeeds. And this is where me the coach says everything is fine, we hang hand over the turn to elfs.

It seems their primary target for this turn is Scotty.

And apparently they are shifting players to the right hand side.

Dodging away from Spoon (well that's no surprise for anyone)

And there comes the blitz


Yes, drink it up. Shto cnout = 25

To nobody's surprise one more elf escapes the clutches of Spoon

Our turn.

Since elfs go right, we go left.



Scotty and Swashmebuckle do the rear guarding duties. I pity the foo who decides to break to our cage from behind.

Mad Max goes to enforce the immediate upper right hand corner of the cage.

This turns out to be a good decision, as

Yup, without his block skill, Blackbelt would have caused a turnover. Instead the elf goes down. And don't forget to gulp down a cold one! Shot count = 26.

Oh, Blackbelt also KO's the hapless helf.

Scotty pushes elf

Mammoth closes the left upper corner of the cage

And Scourge blitzes! Come on orc, your chance to bright future, fame and riches!

It's a POW, but not even a stun. Oh well Scourge, you tried.

Spoon manages to beat his stupidity, and moves to annoy a couple of elves

Which allows Black Knight to roll some dice

And that's a skull, so it's 27th shot we're looking at. I've gotta try this myself some weekend.

Our tenth turn ends in a rather good position with the cage being readied, and elves pushed towards right.

The elfs start by standing up and moving players.


And with a blitz towards Mammothtank

Let this be a lesson for you kids. When you go against the steely eyed Mammothtank, rolling skulls is a bad idea!


Well, since they wanted to play it that way, Blackbelt reinforces Mammothtank

And Mammoth throws a block

Yes, that's with a skull. Thank you block! And with this, 28th shot is now a reality.


Oh! So are we starting to wake up now?

The free players move forwards to form a cage on the opponent's side. Squigmink follows to the middle.

Mad Max blitzes to get rid of one elf at the cage corner.

A double skull.

Drink! Drink! Drink! That's only your 29th shot!



POW and a skull eh. I'll take the POW while the rest of you take the shot! And that's officially the 30th shot down your throats now.

Black Dynamite stops one elf from advancing, eyeing carefully at the pitch of the border. "How far do you reckon da elf flies when punched?" he is heard asking.

Scourge manages once again to push the dodging elf.

Well you tried your best.

Then Black Knight and Spoon take their blocks. Spoon obeying for a chance. They both roll POWs without pushes or skulls, so your intestines are once again saved for a moment.

Scotty pushes the elf forwards and moves. He is protected by the Black Dynamite, so no direct blitz out of the pitch is possible.

That's our 11th turn in a wrap.

The elfs go next.

First they one die Scotty, it's a push. Uh uh, he is a the border now. We may be looking at a crowdsurf right here.


Next, elf standing next to Spoon blitzes. However, I think Spoon has heard me saying bad things about his tackles, as he nails this one! And yes, gulp down your 31st shot.

They re-roll the dodge, and it succeeds.

The block is a one die block. Take a shot, it's your 32nd.

Now that was a line elf, so he doesn't have block. Scotty is a blitzer and comes with the skill built-in. So the line elf goes down, and...




Yes, Scotty just killed that elf right there. I'd love to see your rendition how that could possibly happen! I mean the elf was running towards Scotty, and Scotty didn't even move an inch. Instead the elf flew down, so I suppose that Scotty just tai chied that elf in return.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 10:45:44 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show
Well well well, that's a nasty surprise for them. And good for us, since that was a block action, and Scotty just gained a couple of SPPs for that.

We advance from the left.

Yes, a skull. 33th shot is a reality. And in case you were wondering

But no armor break.

Blackbelt moves to guard the cage and to protect and to serve assist.

Srihag then blocks

Ding ding ding, that's the 34th drink coming right up!

Mad Max closes the left hand bottom of the cage

As is customary, Scourge then rolls a double Defender stumbles

It's just that the elf has dodge, so this is a push. But it almost feels like skulls.

Black Knight and Black Dynamite floor a couple of players near the right hand side pitch, but nobody cares about what's going on there after Scotty killed that one elf.

Speaking of Scotty, he blitzes

Aaand it's a crowd surf. The history has already forgotten the dice roll he made, so thank Scotty for saving your liver!

Spoon, block that one elf. Maybe you get lucky this time

Oh he is being really stupid once again. Take a sip! 35th fire water is now down!

And that's the end of our turn.

The elfs reinforce bottom right hand corner of the cage.

Which indeed receives a blitz, and Swashmebuckle goes down clean

Given the amount of elfs around Scourge, they get a two dice block against him.

Once again it's a skull. The precious 36th is now sliding down towards your stomach!

Oh, and Scourge gets pushed. The elf didn't have block either.

And that's about their turn.

Our 13th starts with easy moves.
Black Dynamite moves to left with a possible hope of becoming relevant on the next turn.

Mammothtank blitzes the elf being a nuisance on the bottom right hand corner

Nope, a push isn't good enough. Re-roll!

A double POW with tackle, and the elf has dodge.  :drevil:

Mammoth: "You're going down, punk!"

He jumps on the elf blitzer to make the point

But it doesn't break armor, so not even a stun.

Blackbelt, Srihag and Squigmink advance forwards, edging towards the left hand border

Swashmebuckle and Mad Max once again provide the rear guard

With the cage being secured, Scourge throws a block. If he goes down, there's no immediate threat to the cage.

Skull and a pow? I select POW, the rest of you select your glass, and let the force go through you for 37th time.

Here's a portrait of Scourge. If you ever see him this close, run. Or actually not, you'll not have time anyways


Now, my notes fail me on whether Scourge KO'd the elf or stunned him. Nevertheless, he provided some value by being a nuisance to the opposition.

After which Black Knight pushes one elf next to the border, but since that is not skulled or otherwise hilarious, we skip the screenshot.

Spoon agrees to move to assist Scotty. Scotty makes a two die block on the elf thrower and knocks him down, but no injury, so boring.

That's our 13th turn done then.

Now pay close attention to what happens next as the elfs start their siege around the cage.



Uh, wait what? They blitzed somehow Squigmink!


And it's a clear hit.

The gobbo tastes the wrist



Of course


(I simply forgot that the gobbo has STR 2, and tying up the players around the cage with other players removes their assists. So that was a direct STR 3 vs 2 situation right there. Bravo AI. Almost worth drinking to my own double skulling of the defense)

Their turn is abruptedly ended with a failed dodge.

Which is why the Black Orc was there in the first place. Oh, and take a shot! 38th coming right up!


Our 14th turn.

Black Dynamite and Spoon move forwards to assist.

Blackbelt blocks and rolls a skull. Congratulations, it's 39 now!

Now, memory fails me why I selected push while I could have taken both down. It could be because I thought I was playing Scourge.

Swashmebuckle rolls next

And he rolls skulls. Sing with me! Fourty, fourty, fourty! Oh, Swashme has block, so elf is down, Swashme is not.

Mammothtank clears the rear (try saying that drunk! Oh wait)

And there's a skull right there. 41 drinks down the hatch.


Aaand that's a KO.

Mad Max and Srihag reform the upper cage and mark the elf player

Scotty moves in to be a nuisance.

Scourge, try to shine for once, pick up that ball!

Lol nope turnover

And we honor that turnover with the final answer to the universe, so gulp down that 42nd drink!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 21, 2016, 11:07:28 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Princes (High Elves), Game 12, Post #6, Finale

Hidden Text: Show
Mad Max gets blitzed


That's a double skull, and 43th drink. Re-roll!

And one more skull, so the total tab is now 44. But Mad Max is still up.

Dolfar initiates one more block against Mad Max. This time it connects.

Blackbelt Jones flattens one elf, but no injury once again.

Spoon moves in to assist and annoy the elfs

Try to get through that troll. Oh wait, don't try.

Mad Max returns the favor by blitzing

It's a knock out

Scourge, try that ball once again

Uh, what? He succeeded? He succeeded!

Our 15th turn ends with a cage around Scourge

Finally Black Knight blocks an elf

And that was a skull, so 44th down.

On their 15th turn, the elfs try to dodge Dolfar away.

Trying and succeeding are two different things so drink up for 45th failure!

It's re-rolled!

The thing is, Star Players are kind of loner divas, and the team re-roll works about half the time with them. This is not such time.

Dolfar is injured, and out. He is Badly Hurt.

Before our goal, I want to try one block, since this is a three die block.




Then Scourge moves to score

This would mark the first time a Black Orc scores

With four players out, we are looking fine. Two of them are out for good.

The elfs play their last turn, scoring a couple of hits with one skull, ending the match with 46th skull. Connect that shot with your lips!


Click here to show match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

One in winnings? No no no, re-roll that!


You can't win everytime. Not always.

The MVP is Black Knight.

The SPPs are distributed as such

Black Knight finally learns how to block

And what about that 280 grand? Well, we are going to spend it to our stadion to appease our shareholders. You have to spend the money somewhere, otherwise we will see even more inducements against ourselves.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 22, 2016, 03:06:00 pm
Today's match will be against the dark elves. AKA the Emos. (It's not that dark elves aren't good, they are actually among the best teams in the game, it's just that the art style reminds me more of emos than anyone actually evil or intimidating)

HLPBowlers vs Evil Talons (Dark Elves), Game 13, Post #1
Hidden Text: Show

Evil Talons eh?

They have two assassins and two witch elves. These are your primary targets. The assassin can Stab, which an action that replaces block, and cannot backfire with a turnover, but it also has lower likelihoods of succeeding with higher armor values. Da Orcz have about the best average armor value, so I don't expect a lot of damage from these guys. But they are very annoying nevertheless. With their shadowing, you'll need to re-roll dodges often if you stay next to them.

Remember the old saying that hell hath no fury like woman? Well, that's the case here. The witch elf is frenzied, and a big threat if utilized properly for crowdsurfing. So don't stay near the borders. She also has dodge, and any skilled coach will give her block, making her very difficult to remove from the game. However, she has next to no armor, and is injured easily if you manage to punch her. You can also hear her quite easily, those boots are made of tight leather! And stop ogling, she's evil enough to use all her assets as a distraction.


The elfs get Bloodweiser Babe as an inducement, for once the team value difference is small!

And we are playing in the Karl Franz Colosseum? Is that supposed to sound evil? Am I missing something?

There's the witch elf, a blitzer, an assassin and a line elf.

The ref tosses the coin, which we then promptly lose

So yeah, we are kicking once again. No matter, I'd have picked to kick anyways.

Our defensive lineup is about as meatwally as it can be

And because I'm brilliant, we get an extra re-roll! Thanks game

They move players into contact, and keep the witch elf next to the ball. Then the assassin stabs Spoon. It fails.

He attempted to stab Spoon? Foolishness! How the hell would you assassinate a troll anyways, it's heart is nowhere near even if you jumped!

The second witch elf takes contact with Mammoth (stop smirking!). He then gets blitzed

The result is a skull or a push. Nothing fancy.

Black Knight gets blocked, but the results are not impressive.

And that's about their turn 1. We reinforce left hand side with Scourge

And block with Mammoth


If I didn't know for the better, I'd think Mammoth is trying to put up a show for the witch elf.

Mad Max blitzes the witch elf.

She goes down, but no armor break. The more skin, the better the armor, apparently.

A couple of more pushes and knock downs later, it is Spoon's turn to shine. Smack that assassin troll!

Apparently Spoon cannot understand the immediate threat posed by the assassin. Well, it's only your life you're playing with!

And that's about our turn #1 done.

The elfs start with stabbity stab. But Blackbelt Jones isn't threatened by pointy little knives.

The witch jumps up, adding an interesting possibility for our available options for next turn.

The rest of the elf turn is spent on forming a cage around the ball carrier

Our turn #2 starts with Scourge moving in to assist

Mad Max does a frenzied block, attempting to push her away from the pitch. Unfortunately Mad Max is a bit overeager and finishes early with a POW, one short of crowdsurf.

I ain't gonna re-roll that.

Blackbelt wasn't very happy of the attempted assassination of his character. He responds in kind

Spoon, it's your time to shine once again. Block that runner down!

You know, sometimes I wonder, I really do.


And since Spoon is a loner, that's a re-roll gone. Easy come, easy go. That's also our blitz gone for the turn. Thanks troll.

Our #2 turn ends with the right flank stalled, center line on their feet, and left side advancing.

I have good and bad news to Mad Max. He is next to ball carrier. The bad thing is that he is also likely the next blitz target.

Which happens here

But it's a push and a skull, and it is not re-rolled! Thank you Jeebus Nuffle!

The witch attempts a jump up dodge escape!

Mammothtank with tackle calls her bluff!

No re-roll! Turnover

Mammothtank attempts to block the elf blitzer

Nope, that ain't good enough! Re-roll!


Goddammit! What happened to Mammoth the Murdermachine? Is it that witch elf's witchery that we are witnessing here?

As a first successful action for this game, Spoon agrees to move a couple of squares

After making sure our defense is as elf proof as it can be, Mad Max blitzes the ball carrier!




On their turn, the elfs attempt to run a player to our defensive zone

And stabbity stab our player

Their turn is ended with a well timed tackle

Good night, Gracie!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 23, 2016, 11:57:40 am
HLPBowlers vs Evil Talons (Dark Elves), Game 13, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
So, our turn is started with Blackbelt communicating with Dark Elf assassin, the topic being "stabbing people ain't cool, man!"


Mammothtank engages the ball carrier

Go on, you want to do it anyways

Sacre bleu, it's only a stun

Interestingly, the ball is scattered between a couple of players, and finally lands on Blackbelt Jones, who catches it!

Now that's highly unusual.

The cage is of course moved around Blackbelt. One of the cornerstones could be Spoon. Hey Spoon, go say hello to the witch elf

Mad Max then blitzes the elf blitzer once again

Mon Dieu monsieur Mad Max!

And that's about our turn. Elfs go!

The witch elf runs away from Spoon. Somehow I'm not surprised.

Tukost gets blitzed

And yes, the dark elf had block and Tukost didn't, so Tukost goes down.

Their final action is to move blitzer away from the side line, reinforcing the screen at the end of the pitch.

Our 5th turn starts with Scourge and Mammoth attempting to remove the witch elf.

Mammothtank piles on the witch elf as this was just a knock down - which doesn't even slow the witch elf.

Besides I'm pretty sure Mammothtank wanted to pile on the witch elf. No, not that kind of way!


And the jump had no effect. Armor value.

Black Dynamite closes in with a Go For It

And Scotty blocks the Witch elf



The turn ends with Tukost failing a dodge roll

Ain't gonna re-roll that, so it's a turnover

And Tukost is knocked out. Wonderful

However, the elf turn is uneventful. Much of this is attributed to Spoon und da Black Boyz guarding the cage, making even one die blocks against Blackbelt difficult.

Our #6 turn starts with a blitz. Scourge and Mammoth once again, engaging the witch elf. No, not that kind of way!





And the witch is KO'd. Good enough.

Mad Max here makes an inconsequential block.

A push? Oh well!


Mad Max has frenzy?




And it's a stunner!

And then Spoon blocks the assassin



Well, he at least stunned the assassin, so that's a plus

So let's see, what did the elfs do on their 7th turn? Not much, except

And the caped crusader is once again down, eating grass.

This would be their last action. Note that even thought the ball carrier is open, Scotty being at the border is enough to prevent the blitz on the ball carrier

Our seventh turn starts with Blackbelt advancing

We reinforce the cage around him

Scotty's attempt to block the witch elf is full of push

Sadly, it doesn't count, and it's the elfs' turn. Eight turn, final turn for this half.

They attempt to blitz our ball carrier!

A push or a knock down, wonder which one should I select?

Scourge attempts to block this blitzer

The blitzer has block and dodge, so nope.

Black Dynamite blocks the assassin, we have to clear way for the ball carrier





Now that block was a smashing success. Go spit yer teeth elsewhere you wine drinking fairy!

Mammoth knocks out the Darth Ripper

The road being cleared, Blackbelt walks the ball over the finish line

Oh, he also scores if he does that.

And it's half time!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 29, 2016, 02:59:37 pm
HLPBowlers vs Evil Talons (Dark Elves), Game 13, Post #3, Start of second half

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Alrighty, second half!


The knocked outs return to the game, so there's that.

Our offense happens with an inverted C - this is because the witch elfs can easily surf our players if given a chance. It's not expected that our front-line would crumble.

The witch elf kicks the ball - I don't know how she manages to do that from a back handspring, but she does nevertheless.


And I'm once again brilliant, but that's to be expected.

We open with Blackbelt punching an assassin.

Road Rage Runner is out. That's good!

Mammothtank blitzes the witch elf next


And knocks her out. Well done Mammoth!

Scourge marks the blitzer on left side

And Black Knight blocks the witch elf as well. It's a push.

Finally, Black Dynamite demonstrates what happens when you park next to a Black Orc

It's just a stun.

Scotty and Swashmebuckle form a screen in front of the ball

Squigmink picks up the ball

Now that's unusual. 67 % has usually been an instant fail.

Finally Spoon takes a block, but only manages to knock somebody down.

Elf turn #9

The witch elf moves to threaten the ball carrier. But she's too late

And their blitzer decides that it's a wise career lengthening move to dodge away from Scourge's gentle touch

That's their turn #9 in the nutshell. Of course players stood up and so, but not much really happened.

Our turn #10 then.

Given that elfs abandoned the left border defense, that's where we advance first. Squigmink, leg it!

The usual caging up occurs after that


Swashmebuckle and Scotty team up to remove the other witch elf from the pitch

It just results to a stun. I'm starting to expect Mammoth and Scotty are some sort of gentleorcs.

Black Knight moves to assist on the right hand side

And that's about it for our #10.

Elf's turn

Blackbelt gets blitzed

Resulting in a double push. No worries.

Spoon has scared one elf enough that he's had enough and dodges away

The last guy legs it to the right hand back field. Two Black Orcs proved to be a bit too much.

Our turn #11
Since the elfs closed the left hand side gap, we settle in to the center

With the usual cage

Scourge guards left flank of the cage

While Mad Max and Srihag mark the witch elf

Blackbelt deals the comma to end our turn. It's just a knock down, so his punctuation requires still some practise.

Elf turn #11
The witch elf again demonstrates her agility by jumping up with a kip up (you know, the kung-fu jump up from the floor), and dodges away.

Which results in a blitz against Srihag. Oh well

He gets pushed, and that's about turn #11 in a wrap.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 29, 2016, 03:40:37 pm
HLPBowlers vs Evil Talons (Dark Elves), Game 13, Post #4, Finale

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And turn #12

Scourge moves in to secure to left hand side corner of the cage. Just in case Spoon is stoopid once again

Swashmebuckle and Max Max move in to assist as the elfs seem to have taken interest in Srihag.

She's knocked down by Srihag's block

Called it!

The rest of our turn is mainly about reforming the cage around the goblin.

Blackbelt once ends the sentence with a comma. Or it could be two OOs, as in KNOCKED OUT

Elf turn #12
The witch gets back up

Blackbelt is blocked, and this time it's a clean hit

The stalwart defender is down, but not out.

Their defense retreats to form a screen.

Turn #13

Mad Max starts with a block. He's frenzied, so if it doesn't work, he will block again

It does


The witch is stunned.

Scotty punches the annoying assassin, but the assessment is knockdown.

Mammoth does what he does best


Jumping on to somebody's head if you didn't know.

Also Spoon manages to knockdown an elf this turn. Whoa, first time on this half.

We have tight group at the center at the end of turn #13

The elfs spend their turn standing their players up (and setting their bones straight)

Not much else happens.

Scotty leads our assault on turn #14.


Scotty! That's not a away to lead the assault! Re-roll!


And the assassin is down once again. That armor value 7 seems to be holding.

Swashmebuckle and Srihag plow the way for the ball carrier

It's a push, but that's actually enough this time.

Black Dynamite goes through the breach first

Squigmink moves only one screen this turn. He has enough range to score in two turns afterwards, so this is fine for now.

Spoon communicates the end of turn by punching somebody's teeth out

No injury though. Come on troll, do your worst!

The elf turn #14 is quite hectic. They stand up players, and attempt to blitz Mad Max. It doesn't work, and they mainly try to surround our cage

That's about it.

It's turn #15, and now we really have to start legging towards the score line

There's only one player directly in front of the cage. Tragic error on AI's part, and Blackbelt is quick to capitalize on it!


Oh no, that's not a way to capitalize on it! Re-roll!


That on the other hand, is more like it. The hapless runner is stunned

Then we run

Mammoth throws a block


But his heart just isn't in it today. Get a grip on yourself orc!

Given a free block, Spoon is ready to take advantage. Right Spoon?


Mad Max, you'll have to get dangerous today - block that witch elf down!

Push, good. Now the next block


 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Two blocks with two dice against us and no skulls. Talk about lucky today.

Elf turn #15

Scotty gets stabbed

His armor breaks, and he is stunned. Somebody explain to me how the hell you only stun somebody by stabbing him? But that's how good the elf assassin is

Seems to me that our blitzer is in the hurt zone next turn.

Turn #16

Oh Spoon


Nope, he's a loner this time.

Mammoth, would you kindly block that annoying elf

Oh hells no guys! That's almost a turnover!

That's it, no more blocks for yoo. Score!

We witness once again the goblin cultural heritage hip thrusting dance

Elf turn #16

We deploy to standard meat wall formation

Swashmebuckle kicks


Srihag and Swashmebuckle determine that the most annoying player on the pitch is that elf assassin.

Scotty gets a chance to revenge the earlier stun



Now that's an insult to the injury! Dark Darth Ripper is gone for the match, though that's not a lot of moves at this point.

The elfs go pick up the ball

Here's fail #1

And here's fail #2

We win the game!

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show


And once again we roll 1 for winnings. Re-roll! It can't get any worse than this, that's for sure!


This time, our MVP is Scourge! Congratulations, Scourge! How do you feel? Any comments on the match?

Quite a lot of SPPs were had in that match

Four (4)! guys level up

Scourge gets block, making him a far more reliable blocker

Blackbelt Jones gets Mighty Blow to score those injuries a little bit more often

Black Dynamite gets Block as well. He's a blocksolid center line player now!

Squigmink gets Sneaky Git, meaning he can foul almost at his heart's content as the judge is not likely going to see him play a little nasty game in the back lines

And our next match will be....

Oh no

...against Chaos

Dun dun duuuuun (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40)


It was nice to know you guys!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on May 31, 2016, 01:28:34 pm
That's a lot of knocked out dork elves, dayum
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 31, 2016, 02:13:52 pm
HLPBowlers vs Crawling Scorers (Chaos), Game 14, Interlude

Here we go, here we go

Alright, so what does Chaos team have?


This is a Beastman, who is the mainstay of Chaos players. Due to easy access to mutations, the Chaos players can be developed on a way no other team can, providing massive flexibility, or just outright murder. Note that this individual has Claw. Anyone with this skill is an instant block, and if possible, a foul. These players have to go from the pitch if are to survive this game. Beastmen come with Horns, which adds +1 strength to their blitz. A single beastman can then always blitz STR 3 players such as our throwers and blitzers.


This is a Chaos Warrior. He is mostly equivalent to our Black Boyz, but more agile and has access to mutations. So Mighty Blow + Claw + Piling On, often shortened CPOMB is a possibility from Chaos. Thus they are likely going to out do our Black Orcs, but luckily this team is less developed and lacks Block. The Chaos Warriors are probably the coolest dudes in the game, and tend to live long.


This is the Chaos Minotaur. He is a very scary Big Guy, but his negatrait is Wild Animal, meaning that any other action than blocking or blitzing has a 50 % possibility of failing. He does retain his tackle zones though, so this is better than our trolls. The mino comes with Frenzy and Horns, making him able to two die alone pretty much anything in the game as long as he is blitzing. That pretty much anything does include Spoon if you were wondering. Mino just looks mean when he blocks someone!

As the commentator Jim Johnson so eloquently puts it in the game, Chaos hits hard. Really hard.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on May 31, 2016, 03:29:08 pm
HLPBowlers vs Crawling Scorers (Chaos), Game 14, Post #1 (GULP!)

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Discussion of the players before match: "Now why da coach made uz say Ave Coach morrituure tee sa-lu-tat?"

Enter the gladiators!

Take note Cyanide, now THAT is a team that does look intimidating. Even if they are wearing white.

This time we deploy to a different formation

Note that two Black Boyz are staying out from the Line Of Scrimmage, and so does Spoon. Instead, two lowest SPP Black Orcz are at the edges, and Tukost is in the middle. What? He got the shortest straw!

Kick-off! (Yes, we did lose the coin toss. This time I would have certainly started with receiving to get those juicy early blocks in to injure their players).

Oh, now THAT's interesting!

Srihag and Scotty immediately perform a blitz against the clawed beastman who happened to be accessible on the side line.


Scotty, next time put a teeny-weeny bit more power to it so you knock him out. He's now out for the next turn, but that ain't good enough!

Finally, he moves next to the ball to make picking it up harder. And probably gets blitzed, but we'll face that when we need to (which is next turn)

Mad Max and Mammoth go annoy the other beastman on left flank

Finally, Scourge goes to annoy a Chaos Warrior on left flank.

Chaos turn #1, the actual start of the game

One beastman moves next to Scotty (uh oh), and Minotaur fails the Wild Animal roll. Thankfully.

The ball pick-up fails

But re-roll saves!

Tukost gets blocked, no surprise there

Watch out orc, he's coming for you!

Wait what?

First block of the game, and one of ours is already dead! That's Chaos for you!

On a side note I love the refined yes fist pump Chaos Warrior does after the block.


Unfortunately we cannot Apo this one. Given that it is the first block of the actual game, and the fact Tukost was just a lineorc without specific skills, we will not Apo this one.

We lost one.

Finally, Black Knight gets blocked by Tricia. Yes, it's a girl!

Knight is knocked down.

Our turn #1. The strategy is to punch the hell out of Claw dudes, and try to stay the hell away from them otherwise.

Mighty Blowing Blackbelt goes first and blitzes the ball carrier.


It succeeds and the ball scatters behind him. Srihag goes to assist

Scotty blocks then

A push will not do in this case. Re-roll!


Now that's better!

Mammoth moves in to assist in the pick up next turn

Spoon blocks the guy who killed Tukost

OH come on now troll, just one measly injury!

And it's a knock down. Spoon has mainly excelled in creating disappointment in the recent matches.

And that's our turn #1 done

Chaos #2

They get to pick-up the ball here

Aaand fail a dodge, turnover!


Srihag floors one

So does Scourge

Mad Max assists

Mammoth blocks

And for once the lack of block hinders the Chaos player while Mammoth is safe! And yes, he will certainly jump on the Chaos player



It's a knock out! Well done! That Chaos warrior will not be pestering us for a while!

Scotty blitzes the ball carrier

Yes, it's a one die, but a push is good enough as then he will find himself next to our two players, ready to tackle anything that moves.

And it's a push. Good.

Spoon pushes a Chaos Warrior. That lack of block!

Swashmebuckle assists Black Knight in a block

It's a double push. Not worth re-rolling

Finally, Blackbelt rolls dice to block the ball carrier

A double what? You suck!! Re-roll!


That's better! (And in case anyone wonders why I blocked this last, that's because I goofed and did not see Blackbelt had a two die shot on the ball carrier. Better late...)

The ball scatters to a meh position

It could be better, it could be worse.

That's our turn done!

Chaos #3 starts with reinforcing the upper right hand side.

The mino is an animal once again

Oh no, Swashmebuckle is about to get blitzed with the guy who had claws!

I suppose he thanks his lucky marbles that he can Dodge!

Aaand it's our turn #3.

Blackbelt starts the turn by introducing his fist to the ball guarding beastman

"I gotsa present fer ya!"

Scotty moves in to pick-up the ball. And run like hell, as he is well in the blitzing range of that mino

But what do I know about this game, Scotty makes it clean, and is assisted by Mammoth.


The rest of the guys attempt to form a screen so that the Scotty can't be blitzed

Swashmebuckle dodges the HELL AWAY from the guy with clamps claws.

Spoon blitzes the clawing Beastman.

Oh, try it for me if not for yourself! But harsh is Blood Bowl, no injury. Nothing so to speak of.

Wait, he can actually be more useful by tying those two guys on the left. Go there troll!

Spoon: "Okie-dokie!"

To save his bacon, Black Knight takes a risky two dice against him block. What? The alternative is to get blocked next turn by that Claw guy, and I know which Chaos Warrior's punch I prefer!

This turn ends like this on our part

It's not perfect defense, but the best we could muster.

Chaos #4

The mino roars once again, expressing his outrage on disciplined play

And here comes the blitz against Scotty

The dodge fails as Srihag is once again awake

It's re-rolled!


And Scotty goes down, so very close to touch down!

Their turn is ended with a futile one die block against Mad Max


Well, the only thing we need to do is to score. There's not much to be gained by getting pummeled by Clawed opponents, though we will still get clawed in the line of scrimmage.

Blackbelt move to assist!

Mammothtank blocks

In these circumstances I'm happy with the push!

Scotty, do eet! Do eet!

Of course



He scoooooooores!


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on May 31, 2016, 04:17:07 pm
Farewell Tukost , we hardly knew ye
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on May 31, 2016, 10:34:16 pm
**** yeah, SPPs from something other than killing elves.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 04, 2016, 08:20:57 am
Farewell Tukost , we hardly knew ye


**** yeah, SPPs from something other than killing elves.

Snap out of it orc!


HLPBowlers vs Crawling Scorers (Chaos), Game 14, Part #2, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
In this game, we don't hide the casualties. They are there for everyone to see! Think about the embarrassment when lying there! There's the motivation for you to stay on your feet!


The defensive formation is once again a more typical one, with least experienced black orcs taking care of the LoS and Spoon in the middle.

Yes, a second death in a row is very unlikely, though not unheard of (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKfv_kdoJi8). But this is Blood bowl, there are no winners, only survivors.

That has of course, nothing to do with the amount of injuries we potentially get. But that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

We once again get a free re-roll cause I'm brilliant.

Pick the ball up with a player who was in the LoS. Now with extra dodge!

Then Spoon gets blitzed

No, it's not the guy with Claw, so keep a stiff upper lip troll. Or actually, thinking about it, don't (those who have done boxing get the joke)

The minotaur is a wild animal once again. No blitz or block, that's what you get

And the Black Boyz in the LoS, Black Dynamite and Black Knight both go down after successful blocks. Sucks, but they are fine.

Our turn #5

Spoon is once again too stupid to stand up


But sometimes I wonder if that troll is smarter than the impression he gives.

Scourge, Mammothtank and Mad Max team up to kick one Clawing Chaos Warrior to the crowd



He goes out after the frenzied blitzer has done his dirty work

But no injury, no nothing. That guy is coming back after next interruption!

Mad Max then goes to pester another Chaos Warrior

Mammothtank marks on flanking beastman

Finally, we mainly mark the players and end up in a new frontline like this. Prepare for the worst, Boyz!

Crawling Scorers Turn #6
To kick it off, Scotty goes down in a block. Nothing serious, but those rams (beastmen) are known to sharpen their horns. Watch out boyz!

Next, we get a blitz from the minotaur. He aims Mammothtank, which is smart because Mammoth is one of our reliable(?) damage dealers

Mammoth goes down, but his armor holds. The recently freed Beastman immediately moves in to secure the ball cage.

Mad Max forces the Chaos Warrior to re-roll his block

Three skulls in a row? I'd been pissed if that had happened to be a big guy

Understandably, the POW is selected and Mad Max goes down.

The Chaos turn ends to formation like this

Alrighty, Spoon, get up!

And he does. Strange, I was expecting something else.

Blackbelt Jones and Black Dynamite play a little game of ping pong with a conicinding beastman, passing the beastman to one another with pushes, but no knock down.

Then Squigmink and Mammoth team up against the Big Cow. That's not enough alone, but when you add Scourge to the mix, that's a clear two die block.

Well I'm sure Scourge is now happy about his recently acquired Block skill. I know I would.

The Big Cow goes down. Scourge then connects with a nearby Chaos Warrior.

Meanwhile on the right hand side, Srihag rolls over one beastman

Swashmebuckle thinks about fouling the Cow while he is down, but decides to patch up a hole in our defense instead (the reason being that we are already missing a player, we don't have any substitutes). Srihag left one behind, and if he gets pushed further to the side, Chaos will have access to our back field. Not good.

And that's our turn #6

Chaos first blitzes Scourge - and yes, that's a beastman with claw. Stay stronk orc!

Despite the claw, Scourge's armor holds and he is just down. Good.

Mad Max gets a fist to the face once again

And Scotty squeezes out one more re-roll from the opposition

He gets pushed, so that's fine.

Our turn #7

Black Dynamite throws a block to the cage corner


Now zat iz gut

Blackbelt immediately capitalizes with a blitz against the ball carrier

Nope, not good enough. Re-roll!


The ball scatters behind the ball carrier. We don't have a good access to it, so the main tactic is going to be one of delay before the half time. However, Spoon takes a block

Which connects

And suddenly there IS a path to the ball.

Swashmebuckle goes next to it.

And Srihag positions himself to score next turn by just one go for it

Which doesn't mean it automatically succeeds

And there goes the option for scoring with Srihag. Dammit.


The first thing opposition does is to reinforce the ball position

Scotty was left unfortunately close to the pitch at the end of last turn

But no injury results, even if the crowd is rowdy

Swashmebuckle gets it as well

Swashmebuckle: No, not my beautiful face!

The mino blocks our gobbo (uh-oh)

That's a very concentrated stare he has right there


Miraculously, the gobbo is not even injured, just stunned. He landed head first even!

The last block is inconclusive as both have block. That's their 8th turn gone, so they are not scoring this half.

And it's our turn #8.

Blackbelt and Dynamite push the opposition players further away.

With a couple of clever assists, we get to block the Cow with Scourge

I'm pretty sure that fist hit the groin. Scourge stuns the minotaur, but that's still somewhat disappointing

Mammothtank blocks one Beastman...

...and of course, piles on...

... knocking the beastman out. Well done orc!

It's half-time!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 11, 2016, 09:05:16 am
Sorry about the cliffhanger; this week has been horrible on what it comes to Let's Playing. I did rack up some sleep deprivation during the week, and could not summon the mental energy to write the second half. Thanks for your understanding.


HLPBowlers vs Crawling Scorers (Chaos), Game 14, Part #3, Start of second half, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
Second half, here we go

We actually managed to knock out four of their players. Two of them wake up.

We deploy to a receiving formation

It's a kick!

And they get perfect defense, which in the case of AI, rarely means anything.

Looking at where the ball landed, Swashmebuckle jumps into action to screen it. Regardless whether the opposition could reach it or not. (In this case it couldn't, but that doesn't make Swashmebuckle less heroic now does it?)

Meanwhile, note that Mad Max and Mammothtank attempt to take away their most immediate threat, the guy with claws.

No, that's not good enough! Of course you do realize that you'll get a claw to the face if you don't knock him down!



A turn over or a push? I know which I'll take. Well, you can't win them all the time. But at least do NOT follow that beastman! Actually get back to where you started from!

Srihag moves in to whisper devilish things to Spoon's ear

That stuff being so repulsive that even Spoon wants to move out towards left

Which then allows Black Dynamite and Blackbelt Jones take their consecutive punches against the Chaos Warriors. Floor 'em boyz!




Scotty then moves in to block that high way towards the ball from the right hand flank.

Our cage is not formed correctly, and since most of our players have already moved, Squigmink decides against picking up the ball, and opts to screen it instead.

Then Scourge considers his odds of dodging and his odds of surviving a block by Minotaur, and decides to disengage.

And what do you know, he makes it.

And that's our turn #9 done

The opposition regroups to the center line

Then Scotty gets blitzed

But no result is acheived the rolls being both down or push.

The minotaur moves in to right. Why, I have no clue, and I don't intend to find out. Perhaps he is scared to face off Spoon?


The right hand side is still reinforced by additional beastman, this is a direct assault on Scotty!

And then Blackbelt and Black Knight get knocked down on the LoS. No biggie.

Our turn #10 starts by checking out the range of that beastman next to Scotty. It's not yet on the ball pick-up range, but he certainly is pressuring us. We need to get a move on!

Our first priority is still to kill anything with a claw. Scourge attempts to remedy the problem by blitzing a beastman with that skill.

He knocks him out, rendering the Chaos murder machine far less efficient with only one player having the claw skill from this point on.

Next we set up a cage

And get Swashmebuckle to pick up the ball. This time it had to be Swashmebuckle as he will automatically re-roll a failed pick-up attempt, saving us from having to use team re-rolls.

Spoon is then too stupid to block the Chaos Warrior

Finally, Scotty legs it to assist the goblin in holding the cage corner, while Mad Max or Mammoth engage with a beastman on left side of LoS.

And that's our turn #10 done.

The opposition regroups their players on the LoS

The minotaur returns to the center pitch

A couple of players advance towards our cage, while Scourge gets blitzed


It's a push. But second one is incoming!

Which is a push. Teal'c Scourge has absorbed the blitz and a block this turn. Remarkable.

And it's our turn #11.

Swashmebuckle and Scotty move forwards to get the ball on the opponents side of the pitch

While Srihag, Squigmink and Mammothtank tag team a Chaos Warrior that erred too far on the Orc side.

Even though Mammoth jumps on her (yes, the name of the Chaos Warrior is Tricia Grim Shyesh), the armor holds.

Spoon is too stupid to block (again)  :hopping:


So Mad Max has to cover Swashmebuckle

And our turn ends in a rather strange right angle formation

That's our 11th turn there in a wrap

Chaos seems to opt for an elf screen defense on the left hand side

The clawed Chaos Warrior blocks Scourge!

Oh no Scourge ain't even looking that way!

Luckily, Scourge is only stunned.

Astonishingly, Squigmink manages to absorb a block from a Chaos Warrior

Since neither had block, push was selected.

The minotaur then vents out his frustration by roaring to the sky

It's then our turn #12

Since they wanted to play that way, we move the ball back to the center.

Blackbelt skulls one block

Nope nope nope, re-roll!


Uh-oh, well at least you're still standing

Black Knight blitzes to get rid of that Chaos Warrior

You guys are just a bunch of losers you know?

Spoon is able to haul his ass over there in the middle though.

Squigmink runs like a wind to an area which is outside the Chaos range

And due to couple of well known players skulling, we have to end our turn with a Chaos Warrior next to Swashmebuckle. Ain't looking good boyz.

That's our turn #12.

The clawed dude takes a shot against Swashmebuckle (don't die don't die don't die)

It's only a push. Good.

Blackbelt Jones gets blitzed after that


He lands on the ground, stunned.

And that's about it.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 11, 2016, 09:42:22 am
HLPBowlers vs Crawling Scorers (Chaos), Game 14, Part #4, Finale, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
The way we untangle this mess is by punching out of it. Or punching it down. Whatever.

Mad Max pushes the guy with Claws away from Swashmebuckle. Wonder whether "Claws" would make a good James Bond movie henchman?

Swashmebuckle runs, committing to a breakthrough attempt from the right

Scotty, Spoon and Squigmink move in to protect him. Protection from the goblin being the biggest question here.


Black Knight blitzes the tackling guy down, runs and takes two Go For Its to reinforce the upper right hand corner of the cage



Our turn ends with the cage being formed and with a rather good breach of their defense lines

Chaos #13 shows Chaos players reinforcing the left hand side of the pitch. Don't ask.

The mino blitzes Scourge

And that's a three die block against him, odds being Scourge going down. But the abs of steel saved him this time.

One beastman is moved to block our advance.

That one isn't much, though.

Left hand side is reinforced once again with a Chaos warrior, while a beastman dodges away from our cage contact.

Our turn #14.

Spoon, move ahead and become the left bottom corner of the cage

Spoon: now lemme think which side is left and which is right!

Oh, you did not-so-well so far.

Black Knight, lead the way for the cage!

The cage is reformed, with Spoon still scratching his head on what's going on. It's a goblin right there on right hand bottom. Feelin' lucky?

Mammothtank then takes a one die block against the Clawed Chaos Warrior

And that's a good one!


He is stunned! Nope, not good enough. Pile on!


Awww yeah, that's my orc!

The clawed threat is Badly Hurt, and cannot participate to this game any longer

Blackbelt then one dies the minotaur. You never know what might happen!


And the Mino is stunned. I'm still not sure where you punched him, could have been his knee or kidney, but that surely was effective!

And that's #14 done.

AI attempts to bring players in front of our cage, but I'm afraid that's too little too late.


While it does make sense to blitz the undefended weakest link on the pitch.

It's a push.

The AI re-rolls a both down against Black Dynamite, resulting to a pushed Dynamite.


On our 15th turn, we run. Simple as that.

No need to take unnecessary risks, we move in to a scoring position for next turn.

The final point above the i is delivered by Blackbelt Jones, who blocks a Beastman




He is Badly Hurt

Mammothtank moves next to Spoon. Apparently, that sleazy joke did the trick as Spoon waddles towards the opposition for a chance

Mad Max attempts to save the gobbo by blitzing the beastman with one Go For It

Which fails


Aww yeah, the gobbo is now safe, and he moves next to the biggest guy on the pitch, Spoon. He might have been safer up there with the cage.


On their 15th turn, AI still is in process of moving players towards of us. It's just too little and too late

The opposition then gangs around Spoon (well this was a bit unexpected development)

And the troll is down.

This is how they ended their turn

It's our 16th turn.

Need I say more?



And it appears we gave them quite a beating


So they are missing like 5(!) players!

Our defense for the last turn is once again a meat wall composed of Spoon and two Black Orcs.

Swashmebuckle kicks, and oh my, it's a good one! Straight next to the finish line!  :lol:

It's a quick snap, but in the case of AI, it does nothing.

Spoon gets blitzed

Yup, that's Chaos for you. They don't particularly care how big or strong you are.

Black Dynamite goes down, I suppose the Chaos is just venting its frustration at this point. What's the point of this violence? They have already lost the game.

Black Knight gets the final block of the game

Bang! Straight to the kisser!


He is only stunned. Phew.

Ok, 2-0 win. Not bad, and only one dead.

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
After a re-roll, we get 70 grand for winning the match.


Our most valuable player is




What the hell game?

The SPP distribution is actually surprisingly broad for a match that didn't have that much on it. Well except losing Tukost.

66 % of the games have been played, and we are four wins ahead of the second one in statistics

Spoon also levels up. He rolls 7 and has access only the the strength skills.

No, it won't be piling on because the troll is too stupid to get back up. Instead, I select guard. That way he contributes to the LoS battle despite not doing anything.

We also hire a new player, Rakclaw. There's also a slot open for another line orc if anyone is interested. We do need replacement players after all.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on June 11, 2016, 01:07:39 pm
If you dont think that me standing there, scratching my ass and head for half of the game, doesn't somehow make me the most valuable player on the team, then there is clearly something wrong with you.

What do the guard and grab skills do exactly? 
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 11, 2016, 03:03:22 pm
If you dont think that me standing there, scratching my ass and head for half of the game, doesn't somehow make me the most valuable player on the team, then there is clearly something wrong with you.

The mental image of that  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Guard means your assists cannot be cancelled by other players. If you are standing next to someone, you are going to provide +1 STR to blocks regardless. It is quite valuable for LoS players.

Grab allows to re-position the blocked player. Quite handy skill, but not my first pick usually. For trolls I'd go with Stand Firm after Guard. Since I would not blitz with Trolls, Juggernaut (both down is treated as a push when blitzed) is not as useful.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on June 12, 2016, 08:47:40 am
I was hoping Grab be something like grabbing an opponent the same way a troll can grab a goblin  :drevil: alas
Well, now at least I can do something just by standing there, adding to my MVP value :p
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 18, 2016, 02:20:44 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bronze Breakers (Dwarves), Game 15, Post #1, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show

We are going against the stout little fellas tonight. Bronze Breakers I hear they are called.

The notable thing from the roster is: these dorfs have started to gain levels. They have Guard and Mighty Blow in abundance. Also, they have a death roller. Things just get better and better.

Because we are still somehow more valuable, they get some extra cash in to place as inducements. They get a bribe and a babe (now there's a new name for a novel fellas!)

Our stadium has gained some height after it was upgraded. Hopefully those shareholders like what they see.

And there's a troll slayer and the Death Roller. Specifically interesting detail is that pierced skull on a spike. Don't let yours to become another ornament for the thing!

We lose the coin toss, and deploy to this formation. It's pretty safe as the dorfs cannot really advance far even if they manage to break our lines. And yes, a lineorc is stationed next to the Death Roller.

And it's a kick!

So we get the perfect defense. Seeing the dorfs formation, a couple of changes do come into mind

Since the ball is going to land next to the LoS on left hand side, I'll let Mammothtank and Mad Max go next to its landing place. The ball scatters one ahead of them, so we don't get a tackle zone on the ball. But rest assured we are looking at the ball very intently.

Dorfs move in to secure the ball, but with their movement, not many players can reach the area.

Rakclaw takes the brunt of the Death Roller

Which in this case, happened to be a push. You got lucky, that thing is far faster than it looks like! Three die block with the push result is very good, Rakclaw! I'm sure you'll be something big some day!

Then Black Dynamite and Blackbelt Jones get knocked down. Not a problem.

Our turn #1 then.

Black Knight and Scourge deliver the pain on the LoS linedorfs. That's the good thing with Dorfs, they like beating stuff up, just like we. To their defense, they do not run from the engagements. But then again, who could with those stubby little feet?

Blackbelt Jones moves away one square that he can to provide assistance on left hand side next turn. Oh, and Swashmebuckle blocked that trollslayer. It's a push.

Scotty delivers our blitz, knocking the air out of the right hand side dorf.

Given their armor and thick skull (which doesn't mean they are stupid, it just means they have dense bone mass in their skulls, probably due to bonking their heads on the tunnels), they are really tough to get out from the pitch.

Rakclaw takes the smart move, and runs away from the Roller to assist on the left hand side.

Finally, we have Spoon's block. That's against the Death Roller. The thing here is that the Death Roller is STR 7, while Spoon is STR 5. No suffering from stupidity (huh?), Spoon rolls two dice against him.

Which doesn't go well

Re-roll! (This is stupid. Spoon is also a loner, so that re-roll has 50 % chance of working)

And he indeed is a loner. The re-roll fails!

And there goes the pride and joy of our team. He gets to eat grass for a chance. I think he averages twice or thrice in a game, so so much for that STR he's got!


Dorfs waste no time in attempting to breakthrough our left hand side

Luckily, Mammothtank repels the attempt. Twice as it got re-rolled. Way to go Mammoth!

Here we can see Scourge resisting the first onslaught from the trollslayer. The little bugger has Frenzy, so he'll actually punch twice. Given the rate I'm throwing bad puns here, the title here would probably be Trollslayer always blocks twice.

Oh Scourge, and you were doing so well

He's just down and nothing significant happened during the Dorf turn otherwise. It's our turn #2.

We waste no time in getting rid of that Dorf runner on right hand side. Scotty does the honors

Say hello to my little friends!

Srihag shifts to the center to be a blodging nuisance there

Before doing much else, we do need to reinforce the left hand side. While Black Dynamite knocks down a dwarf blitzer, the rest free players gravitate towards the left


And then we block. With Mammoth

You know, you can do better than that! Re-roll!

And because he has a player behind him, that's a crowdsurf right there!

The crowd works with the FIFO principle. As in First In First Ousted! (And yes, I'm having way too much fun figuring out more bad puns for a non-native)

Then we smack the Runner down. These players are very important for the Dorf effort; they can actually handle the ball.

Spoon stands up just in time to assist.

Finally Black Knight slams the trollslayer down. He grins his teeth to prepare for what's to come. Yes, he is standing next to death roller.

And that's our turn there, ending us in a relatively advantageous position.

The Dorfs attempt to blitz Mad Max

But the result is a push. Not good for them.

Scourge here demonstrates the dictionary definition of stalwart.
First block

Second block!

Third one!

Bloody well done Scourge! You get a cookie for that!

Black Knight gets Death Rolled (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp-ztV-Jv4E)

Beware the Grim Roller! (I really should stop now shouldn't I?)

Scotty approaches from the east! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px-yq4Ikpq4&index=19&list=PL738DEE2001BC5C1C) And what he approaches is the center pitch, stopping next to Srihag.

The Blackbelt Blocks

Uh, Blackbelt, that's not blocking. That's losing! Re-roll!


Well that 3 % probability had to happen as some point, didn't it? I wonder if Blackbelt is getting old, or whether the opposition is really that good?


Not surprisingly, Mad Max feels the repercussions of this fail in his skin. Quite literally


Aaaand ladies and gentlemen, he is out!

Srihag gets pushed twice.


Then those cheeky Dorfs block Spoon. The nerve! A sole long beard knocks down Spoon!

Not the brightest spot on your resume, eh, Spoon?

And that's their #4 turn over. Here we have to salvage what we can. I was seriously considering letting the dorfs score here for a second. For a second, but then I had to say to myself that the stinking AI ain't gonna score against me. Not with dorfs.

Blackbelt moves in to assist and to provide a Great Meat Wall of Orcia. Unfortunately the blitzing Scourge can't get much done.

Swashmebuckle moves into assist. He's quite safe, being the slippery eel he is. Finally, Rakclaw manages to knock down the Troll slayer.

Unfortunately our blitz was already exhausted. We cannot capitalize the breach on their lines to blitz the ball carrier. Next time Gadget, next time!

Scotty gets lucky in his block this time and floors a troll slayer

Srihag moves in to annoy the ball carrier

And Spoon

Well, Spoon is Spoon. Take care of that Death Roller then!

In a dashing display of agility, Black Dynamite manages to dodge away from the Death Roller

Eat my dust, Sucka!

Our fourth turn seems to be consolidating the game and turning the tide against the dorfs. Their assault forwards has lost its momentum as far as I can see.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 18, 2016, 03:01:54 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bronze Breakers (Dwarves), Game 15, Post #2, IMAGE LINKS FIXED. Episode: How to roll skulls

Hidden Text: Show
Srihag really can be annoying when he wants to. So he gets blitzed for making funny faces.

AI Re-rolls!

But the result stays.

Rakclaw gets pushed

The ball carrier himself blocks Srihag, but to no avail

The Blitzer is still grinning. Three consequtive blocks without a hitch. He's like no problemo boss, I can handle that.

And that's it from their part.

Black Knight moves in to be relevant. Scourge manages to knock the ball loose from the prying fingernuts of that blitzer

The ball scatters behind. Probably among the best positions - for us.

Blackbelt knocks down their runner once again. Unfortunately, it's like a punch me Elmo. That Runner ain't gonna stay down.

Mammothtank blocks their linedorf

And you know what tends to happen when Mammoth blocks, right?

No injury. No knock out. Not even a stun.

Swashmebuckle makes the gutsy play of blitzing forwards

But he won't stop there. He goes to pick up the ball!

Being Sure Handed, he manages to pull it off

But staying next to a dorf ain't a good idea. He takes one Go For It

And the result is predictable


The trollslayer attempts a pickup

Fails! And re-rolls!

And foiled again


Rakclaw moves in to be a nuisance for anyone attempting to pickup the ball

And then Blackbelt Jones fails a block


In the most truest Blood Bowl tradition, a long beard then manages to pick up the ball. Despite Rakclaw.

Gotta love those 33%'s

Scotty gets rolled over

Pay close attention to right side of the screenshot. That's where Scotty's feet are visible. Luckily, they are still attached.

Rakclaw takes a block from a blitzer

Uh oh

So he took an elbow to the knee? And will limp for the rest of his life? Just a button away of possibly getting saved from this ailment.

Unfortunately, he has no SPPs. So he is just a pawn in my game. We regret what happens to him, but such is Blood Bowl. He knew the risks when he joined the league.

Another block against Srihag



Objection! That was a clean punch to the nadgers referee!

We are dropping like flies! Since when have the dorfs kicked this much ass?

And here goes Black Dynamite. He was almost knocked down in a two dice block against him. It's push

That's about their 7th turn. Luckily, they cannot score anymore, but do NOT let your guard down boys!

Our 7th turn starts in a disarray. The team is probably already in panic and shouting "They'll roll over us!". Which isn't that far from the truth either.

Fascinating species these dorfs, the only psychopaths in the universe that kill you nicely by blocking you with their tankards. The most perfect disguise in the universe. When in near contact you'd think they cannot block given how short they are. But block them and you'll see that oh yes they can block. So don't turn your head away and don't block!

Black Knight moves in to close the gap in the center. Perhaps we can score still?

Mammothtank blitzes the ball carrier. Mammoth doesn't have strip ball, so the ball stays.

It's a push.

Now to the most interesting question on this turn: can Spoon contribute to the game? I mean, we are done throwing the kitchen's sinks at them, it's time to go to the utensils!

Yes he can, and he becomes a real nuisance there.

And that's our turn.  :lol:

The eighth dorf turn is a blitz. With the Death Roller. Against Swashmebuckle. Count your lucky stones

Phew. It's a push!

Swashmebuckle is still not out of the woods as the trollslayer continues where the Death Roller left.

Swashmebuckle manages the three consequtive blocks challenge as well!

The Scourge is also moved to the border.

Anyone wanna bet the odds of both of them surviving this feat?

With two guarding players around Spoon, a one die block was mounted against him.

And that succeeds as well. The troll is down once again.

Well, our eight turn starts in a rather interesting situation. Shall we do anything or just forfeit the turn, go for a half time break and forget the first half? Or do we still try to injure someone?

We do want to get rid of trollslayers and runners. So yes, yes yes!


And it's a KO! That's very welcome!

Blackbelt blocks

Finally, Scotty blitzes one

Disappointing. The dwarf is still conscious.

And it's half time then. Let's go and forget this half forever.





Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 22, 2016, 04:30:41 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bronze Breakers (Dwarves), Game 15, Post #3, Start of second half, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
Alright, at least we don't need to deal with the zoggin' Deathroller shooting lasers out of its mouth

Wait? WAT?


So they bribed the referee to accept the Secret Weapon for the second half. Isn't that supposed to be illegal or something?

Anyways, given the presence of the Death Roller, we deploy to rather uncharacteristic formation. Brave brave sir HLPBowlers

Then again, nobody volunteered for death rolling (center pitch player) anyways.

And it's a go!

Instead of fiery blasts of blitz, we get a nice weather today. At least it isn't scorchio.

The ball lands far. Suits us, and dorfs have even more problems at getting to it!

And we block first! (This because we didn't have any risk of dorfs getting to the ball)

Blackbelt Jones. What. The. Hell. This is your umpteenth time on this match to double skull a block! Get to it or I'll feed you to the wolf raider's pet wolves!



He makes it this time. And it's about god damn time.

Scourge moves in to assist and Mammothtank blitzes

He proceeds by piling on, but it's just a stun. Poor performance today.

Srihag and Scotty move to guard the ball (which is still considerably down field)

After some inconsequential Black Orc Clear Communication, it's time for Swashmebuckle to attempt the pick-up.

It works, and he brings the ball slightly forwards. Spoon pushes one dorf away, and nobody touches the Death Roller, so it's fine it's fine

Quite uneventful turn for us. Let's see what the dorfs do.

Dorfs form more defensive line up ahead

They also committed one player to harass the down field. However, I call this bluff. He simply doesn't have the range required.

More probable event was that the death roller blitzes someone. That someone happens to be Srihag.

The Deathroller is followed by runners, who occupy the central power vacuum.

Our turn #10
The first and foremost thing is to bring the ball forwards. Pronto!


Blackbelt delivers some smacking, relieving a substantial fraction of our players to move around to guard the ball

Scourge and Mammoth go guard the ball around him, while Srihag utilizes his dodge skill to escape the clutches of the Death Roller

Spoon agrees to move to form a tighter screen, the goblin happily goes inside this ring to enjoy the improved protection (yeah right, he is still next to Spoon)

Finally, our turn is ended by courtesy of Scotty, who has the courtesy of rolling a skull. In a one die block. You guessed it, we ain't gonna re-roll that. So let that be a lesson for ya, Scotty! Learn not to roll skulls!



Dorf Turn #10

Dorfs move a bunch of players to protect the back field. But that still won't be enough!

Black Dynamite is rolled over by the Death Roller

That''s him just after the block. Powerful enough that the camera goblin couldn't keep track of him!

But it's nothing serious, just a stun.

And that's their turn there.

Unusually, our turn is started by Spoon. This is because him failing to do the walking will not cause a turnover, and we can react accordingly regardless of the outcome.

He agrees to move. Good.

Scourge blitzes one dorf to create the lower right hand side corner for the cage.

Then everybody moves in, to close the cage around Swashmebuckle. And yes, the upper right hand corner is occupied by the goblin. There's only a couple of players who can reach him with a blitz, and that would mean the ball carrier does not get blitzed.


Blackbelt Jones demonstrates the clear communication once again


But it's only a stun. Damn these guys are tough

That's our turn #11 there.

On their turn, AI marks the gobbo. With a freaking death roller!

And with a troll slayer and a runner.

It's gotta be said that I don't like the odds of that gobbo.

Swashmebuckle gets blitzed by a blitzer

It's two dice against roll, the above Both Down is re-rolled!


Well, I'll take that Pow with exclamation mark in it, it so happens that Swashmebuckle has Dodge skill that negates it!

Finally, Mammothtank gets smacked.

No armor break. He's ready for action next turn.

Our turn #12.

And just as I mentioned that Mammoth is ready for action, he gets to do the said action. Mammoth, blitz!


We'll take that push. That let's Swashmebuckle loose

Which he happily takes.

Scourge moves in to block the access towards Swashmebuckle.

Wanna get to Swashme? You have to observe our rules. Defeat this STR 4 White Lotus... Black Orc first!

Scotty moves in to become a nuisance.

Srihag marks one dorf on the right, and Spoon un-stands a dorf here

And the dorfs are halted by Blackbelt Jones in a tactical double pincer move.  :lol:

Finally the gobbo saves himself with his stunty feet

Dorfs' 12th go

Trollslayer attempts to cover the back field (it's not enough!)

While that's not enough, I'll tell you what IS enough. It's Death Roller blocking Mammothtank


I hate that thing.

Next on the menu is Spoon

The dorf turn is ended by an unfortunate dodge away from Black Knight



Aaand it's turnover

Our #13th

Gobbo goes to assist Blackbelt in a block. Now it's a two die!


I can't believe my eyes! How many skulls has this Orc rolled in this game? He's now Blackbelt "The Unlucky" Jones. If this doesn't end soon, he's gonna be Blackbelt "Dogmeat" Jones.



Dynamite moves in to create pressure on the right hand side of the pitch. He'll likely get blocked, but no matter. Black Knight moves to block the access towards the ball carrier through bottom route

Srihag blocks this dorf, it was not possible to add a player behind him so that this would be crowdsurf. Unfortunate, but c'est la vie



I recon the dorf flew some four meters! And because it's stun, he wont play next turn. Thus, Swashmebuckle moves in.


I suppose the opposition coach is shouting like crazy to that dorf at this point. But to no avail. Scourge also rolled in to block access to Swashmebuckle.

And that's how our 13th ends.

Dorfs 13th is what could be expected. Move players ahead, but because of lack of speed, they cannot easily block our access.

Death Roller blitzes Squigmink! Uh oh, easy SPPs right there

Wait, this would be a great time for the evil genius laughter!  :lol:

Blackbelt Jones is punched by a troll-slayer



Remember, every dorf you fail to remove is a dorf that can punch you to the head. Or more likely given their height, to your goohulok. That's the vulnerable part, Spoon!


And that's their #13 done.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 22, 2016, 04:53:21 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bronze Breakers (Dwarves), Game 15, Post #4, Finale, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
Our 14th turn starts in a waiting mood. This is the make or break turn.

Scourge paves the way. This time paving the way is equal to punching the crap out of anyone who opposes

Scotty moves in next, Srihag blitzes the dorf

He manages a push. Which is good enough given the circumstances.

Swashmebuckle moves in

Black Dynamite moves up to control the upper center pitch

The gobbo does a somersault end dodges the tackle from the Death Roller. Foiled again! Oh, and what of Spoon? Well, it's not really unusual to say the least.

That's our Turn #14. Dorfs' go now.

I'd start to get worried if I was Spoon

Lying there in the middle of the pitch with opposition players surrounding you is NOT a valid tactic! It can get your goohulog kicked in too!

Here comes the blitz!

Go for it fails

And it's Swashmebuckle's left hook that ends the AI's turn!


Black Dynamite flanks to assist the block to free Swashmebuckle and Srihag does the deed

Srihag, that's not doing the deed! I'd say that's pretty far from doing the deed! Actually, that's not doing the deed at all!




Scotty almost fails our game with this block

Having had enough of the incompetence surrounding him, Swashmebuckle runs away as far as he can from the incompetence


Spoon prefers to sun tan this turn too. It's your own skin, troll!


Our turn ends like this. It looks good for scoring next turn. And it's about time; it's the last turn we can possibly score!

Dorf turn #15

They blitz Scourge. They blitz Scourge with a Death Roller. With frigging lasers in its eyes!

And that's about all they could do.

We are not going to take any more risks here, Swashmebuckle, score!





And further good news is that the Death Roller is finally out. Finally.


Since the risk of getting rolled over is gone, we deploy to standard offensive defensive formation.

Swashme kicks

Now that extra re-roll would have been handy some turns before!

Scourge, Black Knight and Spoon get blocked



Hur hur, re-rolled that


As our troll falls to the ground like an old tree, the referee blows the whistle, signalling the end of the game.

Click here for the match outcome

Hidden Text: Show
Swashmebuckle and the Death Roller are the MVPs. Both probably earned it

It actually appears that it's only Swashmebuckle who did anything worthwhile in this game.

Now, since we have extra cash, I'm wondering whether the cash will be spent to a stadium upgrade where the crowdsurf hurts more
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: swashmebuckle on June 23, 2016, 02:09:17 am
I'm da real MVP.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 25, 2016, 06:11:51 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Hammers (Dwarves), Game 16, Post #1, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
Today marks the day the day time hours are reversed and days are getting shorter from this point on. Thus people get together around mid-night bonfires to banish the cold in the remembrance of the ancient Finnish
rites, conserved up to this day. But little did they anticipate the events about to unfold in the Blood Bowl arenas.

Team, I've hired a far-seer to the team. This Beast of Nurgle has been gifted with the ability to see the future events. Unfortunately, this gift seems to have driven him insane!

(https://s16.postimg.org/msyznfj6d/Beastof_Nurgle.jpg) I've sssseeeen through the time assss it floatssss around

Yes yes very good. But note that we need every edge we can get, he won't play the game for us, but perhaps he might say something useful, some minute detail that otherwise escapes our attention. Please mind his smell.

Today, we go again against dorfs

I've to say, it's one impressive stadium they got here. It's as if it was carved into the stone itself. Wait, it is.

Thankfully, they do not have a Death Roller. That thing gives me the creeps, haven't da MekBoyz figured how to build our own?

They go with a star player called Barik, and a Bloodweiser Babe. They will return from knock outs easily. Whether that is the Babe or the Beer, I don't know. And don't want to find out.

Barik looks like this. That red eye there is just for show. It looks creepy but I'm sure it's nothing.

Standard defensive formation as we lost the coin toss.

Swashmebuckle kicks

And the spectators throw a rock on the opposition side. Hur hur. Gotta love our fans.

(https://s16.postimg.org/msyznfj6d/Beastof_Nurgle.jpg) Blood sssshalll be ssssshed today

Mm-kay. I thought that was sort of given, as this is called Blood Bowl anyways. Perhaps that rock did cause some, the player is stunned.

Swashmebuckle does exceptionally well on kicking on far backfield, giving dorfs grief on protecting the ball. Without Sure Hands on their Runner, this would have been turnover.

Scourge gets pushed

And the block attempt on Blackbelt is met with a skull.


Well, that was short. Get it, short?  ;7

Our right flank blitzers advance like hungry fruit bats in a pursuit of rotten banana crate. There's no holding them back! Run my pretties, run! Spoon also demonstrates his newly found usefulness just by standing in the middle. Guarding makes it easy to block anyone, which is discovered by the Trollslayer

Another trollslayer goes down by Black Dynamite


Quite stunningly too.

Mammothtank revs once again that trusty blitz engine. It's time to kick this sucker down


Oh, that was their superstar? Whatever

He then advances further to pressure the ball carrier in the back field

Seeing a substantial number of dorfs lying down, Spoon moves to left side to stop them. We shall troll over them!

And that's our first turn done.

Dorfs bring the ball a bit closer to the LoS. But since we trolled over them, it's hard to get supporting players there.

But that won't be enough.

Just one guy gets near the ball. Mad Max goes down on the left hand side of the pitch, and they try to take out Swashmebuckle. He just moves along with the push, and laughs it away.

And then it's our turn #2.

To get our priorities straight, we will knock over the runner and steal the ball. Anything else is secondary. So, first an assist, then a blitz by no-one else but Mammothtank

Nope, that isn't good enough. If that runner gets to the other dorfs, it's a game over for us! Re-roll!




Now, that's better. And no, DON'T JUMP ON HIM!

Srihag moves the Linedorf away from the ball. Apparently, we will not be picking it up this turn.

After some consequtive blocking, it's time to move Spoon once again. So many dorfs have fallen, and as a never resting sentinel, he guards them, not as their protector, but preventing them causing harm ever again. Though that may be a bit too much of promise to hold. We shall see.


(https://s16.postimg.org/msyznfj6d/Beastof_Nurgle.jpg) Yessss there will be blood. The widowssss sssshalll lament!

Huh? We have been remarkably non-violent in the recent games. And no big injuries even with the Death Roller. I wonder whether this far-seer sees as far as he says?

On their #3 turn, Dorfs blitz Scourge. Why, I have no idea, I thought the ball loose on their end would be the priority #1.

They also attempt to remove Mammoth from the proximity of the ball.

But it's also unfortunate to try to block Spoon, even if there are three of you supporting!


We waste no time in securing the ball. Mammoth does the honors.



No, the Mammoth murdermachine is not up to spec today. It's just a stun.

Srihag sees the ball, and runs!


(https://s16.postimg.org/msyznfj6d/Beastof_Nurgle.jpg) Thissss issss a ssssscore

Well, thanks for telling me that Far-seer. They have one (1) player who can possibly reach, and even he has to roll a clear hit (1/6, but with a re-roll) to get Srihag down. As Srihag is skilled with Dodge.

Other than that, there was a lot of blocking and re-joicing in the LoS, but nothing substantial happened there.

The end of third turn looks like this

Not too shabby, eh?

Panicked, the dorfs attempt to blitz Srihag. With a runner. STR 3 vs STR 3 as predicted. We'll see how it goes.

First, Mammoth tackles him



Which works

...and they also had to roll for a go for it. That didn't work, and this is the point where you can still see Srihag punching the dude away.


Guess what happens on our 4th turn? You won't need a far-seer for that




Yea, you kinda figured didn't you?

We kick the ball second time for defensive!

Then the referee realizes that usage of Barik is actually forbidden in the game, and throws him off. He is a Secret Weapon after all. Whose effectiveness could be debated at this point really.

Our defensive formation is the same as the offensive formation. Offense is the best defense!

Swashmebuckle kicks again

And the moment he does that, the clouds above the stadium finally unleash their wet fury on the unsuspecting players. Remember to keep your undies dry, nothing is more demoralizing than wet undies!

The ball doesn't go as far this time. Hmm, might be a bit more difficult here.

The dorfs get close to the center field. Not surprising. Despite a mere 50 % chance of pick-up, the Runner manages it this time.

Scourge gets blocked. Hard.




Scourge must have the biggest glass knee in the team, as he gets stunned by a punch to the knee.

Scourge: Punch my face, punch my tummy, but not my knee!

Then the dorfs direct their attention to Black Knight, which may have been a mistake.


It shouldn't surprise anyone that our right hand blitzers advance fast to harass the ball once again. Do they fall once again to the same dastardly trap?

Uh, that is, if Srihag makes it to cover THAT particular tile on the pitch.




He does, Wunderbar!

Mammothtank revs that engine on left hand flank to push hard to harass the ball carrier even more.





Uh, what? Mammoth seemingly just killed one!

Apothecary is rolled in!


That's a direct hit to the head, breaking the battle hardened dwarven skull to pieces. There's no surviving that, he's beyond even the Apothecary's help. The dorf died with a tankard on his lips. If I had to die, that way would rank among the top of the list.

As cool guys don't look back, neither doesn't Mammoth. He continues to pursue the ball carrier. What a cool dude!


Black Knight knocks a long beard down

Black Dynamite blocks the Trollslayer on the grounds that he's just annoying.

Instead of capturing the exact moment the punch connected, instead we got two Black Orcs glaring intensively. They are pissed off, it's raining!

Then Spoon trolls over the other trollslayer.

And that ends our 5th turn.

(https://s16.postimg.org/msyznfj6d/Beastof_Nurgle.jpg) One will ssssstill die

What an ominous prediction
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 25, 2016, 06:53:45 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Hammers (Dwarves), Game 16, Post #2, IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show
On their 6th turn Dorfs bring the ball closer

So in the end, we were not fast enough to stop them from caging. However, they are not fast enough to score actually.

Mad Max gets blitzed

Black Dynamite is pushed

And Spoon is pushed

The turn is then handed over to us. Sixth turn, here we come!

Straight from the get go, we have a one die blitz on the ball carrier with a dodge. We first try to make it two die block.

It was unfortunately this block that decided we will not be blitzing the ball carrier.

It's better to blitz the guarding player next to the ball carrier, this way the ball is locked in place, and we have a better opportunity to knock it off next turn.


Mammoth knocks him down, but remains standing to pressure the ball carrier.

The turn ends us basically swarming the ball carrier

He likely feels the loneliest dorf on the planet right now.

Dorf turn #7
Dorfs attempt to clear the players around. Scotty is pushed.

Mammothtank gets blocked twice by the trollslayer


The last one connects, and floors Mammoth.

The streak of blocks is interrrupted by Black Knight who works as a ccccccombo breaker today.


Despite the dorf's Pro skill, the Pro re-roll doesn't work this time (50 % chance), and it's a turnover!


After smacking down some dorfs, our turn finally came to the blitz against the ball carrier. This pivotal move was performed by Black Dynamite

Who rolled both down, and both have block. The ball knock off shall not happen this turn apparently. It's not the end of the world as Swashmebuckle is still in the proximity, but it does make it more difficult for us to score another one.

In total we were quite ineffective this turn. While blocks were thrown, no results were really achieved. Finally, Srihag dodges away to enable Hail Mary scoring opportunity for the next turn.

It's the Dorf's eighth turn

I think I know what they are trying to do; they have figured us out! Swashmebuckle is blocked

It's no use! Re-roll!


 :drevil: Talk about bad luck here


By the way, have you noticed that the Dorf runner is STR 4? That's what makes it difficult to block him.

On his second attempt, Black Knight manages it with grace.

Scotty blitzes!

Man, things really go our way this turn


The trollslayer is stunned. This also frees Swashmebuckle to roam free once again. He can't reach the score line, but Srihag and Mammoth can!


Sure hands helps picking up the ball despite the rain!

OK, pass the ball to Mammoth!

Nope, not today




So two players out from the Dorfs? We have an advantage for the second half here!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on June 26, 2016, 09:36:50 am
Uhm mister farseer, can u do perdi- preda-... can u see wot for dinner tonight? Coach promised goblin snacks but he never gief.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 26, 2016, 12:29:55 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Hammers (Dwarves), Game 16, Post #3, Where good trolls go to die - IMAGE LINKS FIXED
Hidden Text: Show
Second half

We receive, so offensive formation is a go. Just like there would be a big difference, the only thing is to whether to move Swashmebuckle to back of the pitch, and whether to deploy Squigmink.


Dorfs kick, and...



They get to blitz! Oh well, that shouldn't be too bad

The ball drops to left hand side, and only those players with a white ring around them are free to move. The rest can't do anything.

Dorf blitzer attempts to run between Mad Max and Scourge

With those stubby little feet, he gets tackled.

AI re-rolls!



Alright. So lemme get this straight. This Dorf blitzer run past Mad Max and Scourge, passing two tackle zones with a single re-roll expended, and is now in prime position to catch the ball they just kicked?

Then Scourge gets blocked.





And it's a knock out. Somebody hurry and carry that unconscious orc back to the recovery box. [Sigh]

The dorf luckily did not catch the ball itself. And it's our turn. Could not have arrived earlier.

First, Srihag and Scotty move to reinforce the left hand side. Right hand side advancement be damned.

Mad Max, blitz that blitzer

Yes yes, push is fine

Uh, where's the other block?

Apparently, Mad Max and Mammothtank wore each others playing shirts. It was actually Mammothtank who blitzed. (Totally goofed that one up  :lol:)

The front line advances by pushing the enemy back, but not knocking them out. Disappointing, but to be expected.

There's not much more we could do, so Dorfs go.

Dorfs move runners next to the ball to pressure us

You know, this half ain't starting that fantastically I have to say.

Squigmink gets blocked. He was providing the assistance on Mammoth's unfortunate blitz.

He's okay and kickin'

Black Knight on the right hand side is surrounded by three dorfs. That means they have a total strength of five, so against his four this will be a two die block

And it connects



It's a stun. Unfortunate for the team, but probably fortunate for Black Knight. How come our Black Boyz fly so easily today?

And it's our 10th turn. Luckily.

Mammoth knocks down one attempting to get the ball

While Mad Max knocks down the STR4 runner (we killed the other runner)

Our most reliable ball carrier Swashmebuckle moves in to pick up the ball. Come'on, don't fail me now!

Sure Hands saves a team re-roll again.

Finally, Spoon knocks one down.

So our turn ends to a position like this. Swashmebuckle isn't completely secured, but getting to him isn't that easy either.

Dorfs #10 turn.

They first stand up their players that have fallen near the LoS.

Then Squigmink gets blitzed


What? He is DEAD!


Unfortunately for him, Goblins are cheap and easy to replace, and he didn't acquire any kind of special skill like block, which would have saved him, for example, here. Alright game, you got your casuality, I'm saving that Apothecary for the inevitable injury that's bound to happen.

The Far-seer was right about the match. Two dead players already?

Black Dynamite is then blocked, but both have block skill, so just a loud slapping boom rocks the stadium once again.

Spoon is tying up four dorfs, so they attempt to block him. It's actually STR 5 (Spoon) vs STR 6 situation, so two dice will be rolled.


Spoon, talk to me troll! Spoon?! SPOOOON!!

To be continued...
Hidden Text: Show
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on June 26, 2016, 12:44:20 pm
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on June 26, 2016, 06:59:10 pm
HLPBowlers vs Copper Hammers (Dwarves), Game 16, Part #4 - Where Apothecary is not your friend - IMAGE LINKS FIXED

Hidden Text: Show

Yes, we are going to Apo that. Typical Blood Bowl, it lulls you to a false sense of security, and then takes it all away in a second. A star player's life can end so quickly, abruptly and young. It's also annoying that just when Spoon started to be useful, he goes down.


Apparently, this was a mis-diagnosis by the earlier Doc. Our apothecary indicates Spoon is still alive, but seriously injured. What type of injury is it?


Oh no, his skull was fractured! Must have been the fall to the ground, that troll never got the hang of protecting his head while falling. The dorf punched him in the gut, so it's not that. Effectively, his armor value dropped from 9 to 8, meaning that earlier there was 6/36 chance of breaking his armor, this has now increased to 10/36.

The trolls still have one trick up their sleeves, they can Regenerate their injuries (50/50 chance) regardless of the apothecary. Regenerate, troll! Regenerate!


So on top of the fact that Spoon is stupid he is also stupidly unlucky. He won't be playing on the next game.

Let's see: Scourge is KO'd, Squigmink is dead, and Spoon is injured. We are three players short against these dorfs!

This is the situation we find ourselves in:

Those who can, run to protect Swashmebuckle. These Dorfs are not only relentless but also merciless! That's Blackbelt there knocking down one dorf to close the cage on right hand side.

Srihag pushes the dorf away to make way for Mad Max to close the bottom part of the cage

Black Dynamite knocks one dorf down in the proximity of our loose cage

And that's about it for our part

Dorf turn #11

A lot of dorfs stood up

They are moving forces to block our access from the left, but seems that there's still a breach possibility.

Black Dynamite is knocked down

In the middle of the dorfs!

Srihag gets pushed, but that's it

And it's our turn #12


Swashmebuckle legs it! Run orc, run! Run like your life depended on it! Because it really kinda does!

The usual suspects form the cage. This looks pretty good for us actually from the scoring point of view.

Black Knight blitzes the trollslayer to knock him down, hopefully permanently.



It's a good punch, but no injury. Just a stun

The turn ends with most of the dwarven forces being too far, tied up by two of our players.

Wish those orcs luck boys!

Dorf turn #12

The dorfs mark Srihag and blitz Black Knight

And then move to guard our prone Black Orc (Uh AI, hello?)

Whatever, it's our turn #13 now.

Unsurprisingly Swashmebuckle legs it

Then Mammoth blitzes

Go kill him orc!

Despite the terrifying sight, it's no use. The dorf is made of steel and is just prone.

Srihag then attempts to dodge away from the dorfs

He fails. And because dorfs have Tackle, his dodge did not kick in. Re-roll!




The dorfs stand up their prone players and Blitz Srihag.

They are still guarding the two Black Orcs lying on the ground, having committed seven (7!) players to this, we do have a significant local superiority where it matters, i.e. near the ball.

Oh and that Blitz? It didn't do anything. That's their turn in all its stubbornness.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on June 26, 2016, 07:45:14 pm
I'm so bad at this game, I can't even regenerate my skull properly like other trolls can. I can't even die properly
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on August 28, 2016, 04:19:02 pm
Alright. I've been on summer vacation, and continued to a conference in Germany, got bit by a tick on early August, and then I got an issue related to my wisdom tooth. They usually say those should pop up around 25, but apparently my body age is younger than I am. Because of working with a laptop which I usually don't do, I developed some symptoms for the tension neck. I have to say that getting both of them at the time of the tick bite tends to ring off a couple of your alarm bells. A couple of them too many.

All in all, what I'm trying to say, I didn't feel playing or expanding this thread was such a good idea under those conditions.

However, I'm bringing the HLPBowlers back to the game and plan to finish the tournament on September. I'm also switching back to normal displays. I'll post the end of this game perhaps tomorrow or on Tuesday, and then we have the last four games, one of them likely on the next weekend. It is already certain that HLPBowlers will be in the top three teams.

Meanwhile, if you have been following, Blood Bowl 2 has received a couple of extra teams. One of them being Norse (yay!) and the other is the Undead.

And yes Spoon, that's the way it goes with the troll. He really can't even properly die as you only lost your armor value. It makes you less resilient than the normal Orcs. Armor value 8 isn't bad, but it isn't that great either. Expect more injuries in the future, but there's only four more games. You'll be attending only three of them if everything works out for you, as an injury this serious will ground you for a game.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on August 29, 2016, 04:53:37 pm
OK, I noted that the last match image links have somehow became broken at least on my computer. However, they are the only ones that have been broken, and the images on earlier pages are still accessible. Don't know what happened with ImgSafe here.

Anyways, as today's time was spent chasing on the possible broken links on earlier pages, the update and the conclusion of the match will happen tomorrow.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on August 30, 2016, 01:57:51 pm
Let's DO THIS!

HLPBowlers vs Copper Hammers (Dwarves), Game 16, Post #5, Finale

Hidden Text: Show

It's our 14th turn, and Spoon got injured, and could not regenerate. However, the left hand flank seems to be in position to progress further towards the score line.


Quite a bit closer than I recalled!

Swashmebuckle moves one step closer, and passes the ball. Those Black Orcs should rack some SPPs!

Which of course, fails


And nope
(The sound the turnover klaxon makes you feel worse than the turnover itself!)

Well, that was pretty short even on Blood Bowl terms!

Meanwhile closer to the center pitch, Scotty gets blitzed

While a bunch of dorfs eagerly await for the black orc to stand up. But I'm afraid their wait will, in the end, be in vain.

And that's their 14th turn?? Well, I don't mind!


The down field is a mess, but I don't feel like cleaning the mess

Instead, Swashmebuckle, go get the ball, let's try this again!

Uh huh

Swashmebuckle: Not my fault! The ball was slippery! I got blinded by the sun!

The dorfs waste no time in getting closer to the ball

Blackbelt Jones gets blitzed, but it's merely a push

We go. Boyz, you gotsa do dis right now right here!

Blackbelt pushes one away

And Mad Max grabs the ball and scores!

Well done, you got it right on the first time! Where as SOME people tried four times, and even that wasn't enough!

So kick the ball one more time, and receive the obligatory GG punches from the dorfs

Meanwhile in the injury pits


Somebody go and lift that loincloth up, Spoon is mooning the audience! He will not like it when he wakes, it's raining for heaven's sake!

We are sort of understaffed right now

But the Orc's gotta what Orc's gotta do

Aaaand it's a


free re-roll! Thank you, but I don't need it!

The longbeard attempts to catch the ball. In mid-air. When it's raining

The odds didn't favor him, and as with all odds, sometimes the majority rules!

Let's all point at him and laugh!

Blackbelt gets blitzed

But it's a wash

Dynamite gets pushed as well

And the trollslayer signs the deal by punching out Black Knight

Thank God it's over, we win 2-0, our prides scratched, but otherwise intact.

Click here to see the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

The SPPs are delivered like this:

Three blitzers and one Black Orc. Black Dynamite received the most valuable player award in the match, funnily though I don't recall he would have done anything important.

Let's go get some R&R boyz! And somebody drag Spoon out of that pit for heaven's sake!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 03, 2016, 03:37:30 pm
HLPBowlers vs. Gashed Jaws (orc), Game 17, First quarter (up to turn 4)

Hidden Text: Show
And we return to our schedule transmissions of Blood Bowl on Saturday evenings. Who cares about parties in the downtown, my massage therapist recommended "taking it easy" tonight.


Alright boyz, it iz time to kick ass and chew bubbagum without Spoon. The troll iz out cold for dis game.


Our opposition is the neighboring orc gang, the Gashed Jaw

We'll show them gashed jawz, amirite boyz? Boyz!

Losing Spoon for dis game, we are less valued team. For a chance. Substantially less, so we recruit a Bloodweiser Babe and Wizard.

I shall reserve da wizard for da best possible use. He shall commence magic only on my command.

It's Gashed Jaws home turf. Aptly named so

We win the coin toss, and elect to receive. It'z hurt dem or dem hurt us boyz!

We deploy to dis offensive formation, leaving da black orcs to da middle

The Gashed Jaws troll, Belly Puke, "kicks" the ball. He actually strikes it in the southern crane style, but who cares. At least it wasn't a throw. Suppose the troll has stronger arms than legs so it sort of makes sense.

And it's a blitz! So much for us hurting them before they hurt us. Blitz and blocks incoming boyz!

Our niggled line orc Rakclaw immediately gets blitzed. What, he was supposed to be the punching bag for the troll.

And it's a clean hit


And he's out! Come on guys, keep your eyes open and somebody on the helm!

Luckily they don't press the attack further to get closer to the ball, so the blitzer stays in the middle of the pitch. It's our #1 turn.

To guard against any cock-ups, the guys at the back get very keen on guarding the ball

The ball being secured, we can commence our Black Orc Communication

Blackbelt pushes the opposing black orc away to make room for Scourge.

Being cleared of a tackle zone, Scourge immediately blitzes the Mighty Blowin' Blitzer from the center

The haymaker meets the face, and the Gashed Jaws blitzer is sent to knocked out land. With a gash in his jaw. You know Scourge, you're starting to become a sort of badass. Now get in the middle of the pitch, but don't contact the troll. Repeat, don't contact the troll!

Black Knight then makes a block action to free Black Dynamite who is to reinforce our ball cage.

Mammothtank then disengages

Oh sorry, did I say disengage? I meant he felt flat on his face

That's one personal imprint on the turf for you. Just waiting for the complaints of the groundskeeper.


A couple of black orcs advance from the left hand side, but lack movement to actually make contact with our cage.

Belly Puke strolls the troll about as well as Spoon the troll

Scotty "Blitzmagnet" attracts one more blitz. But he blocks it easily and laughs it off: Woz dat da best ya can do, punk?!

But that's about all from their side. It's our turn #2. Black Dynamite reinforces the right hand side of the cage, allowing Swashmebuckle to attempt the pick-up.


Speaking about the pick-ups, this REALLY isn't the time to fumble up a pick up, Swashmebuckle. Oh perhaps I'm looking this the wrong way, reverse psychology might actually work! Hey Swashme, PLEASE DO FUMBLE THE PICK-UP!


HA! I'm a genius! Now cage, MOVE!

Blackbelt, close the upper right hand corner!

And NOW we can commence punching

Black Knight blitzes the black orc near right border

While Scotty closes the lower right hand side. Should be pretty hard for that black orc to engage from the right hand side.

And that's our #2 turn over.

Belly Puke seems to be suffering from same issues as Spoon. He seems to be standing on the center of the pitch, having difficulties on moving one step forward. Ummmmmmm? Is once again heard booming, and scaring the heck out of the nearby pigeons and sparrows.

And our line orc gets then blitzed by a black orc


Stop losing consciousness you cowards!

We are outnumbered 9-10 at the moment. But that's the opposition turn in the nutshell.

Mammothtank provides a diversion on the left hand side
"I'll roll over dem boss!"

That's the spirit!

Then we have a puzzle to solve on the right hand cage corner. In order to release a black orc, we need to knock back a black orc. To do so safely requires one more additional player. But wait, why bring players there, where we could blitz the black orc instead? Black Knight runs, and provides a good push!

Blackbelt then knocks down the blitzer

And ironically, Blackbelt was supposed to be released, and he was, but he could not move away from there!

Then we shall commit to the right hand side


And that's our turn.

Belly Puke the troll seems to be about as tall as he is stupid.

Nope, he ain't gonna move. But AI still bites the lure, and blitzes Mammothtank! Pray your armor holds, Mammoth!

And it does. He goes down, but is not out.

Then AI commits fourth player to keep Mammoth on bay. I happily take that!

Aaaand that's about it. Our turn #4 starts. Do you see what I'm thinking by moving Srihag one step ahead?  :drevil:


If you thought that frenzied Mad Max could push that hapless orc to the crowd by blitzing him, you were right!


He then carefully repositions to avoid the same faith

Scourge moves to assist our black orc line.

Black Knight then delivers some Batman kung fu


Aaaaw yeah

You know the drill, side line cage with beef cake wall on the border!

The whole central pitch looks like this

And that's our 4th turn


You know, Belly Puke being THAT stupid is starting to make him hilarious too!

Then a black orc attempts to break our sideline cage top corner by blitzing Scotty. He lands the hit

Can Gashed Jaws stop our onslaught? Is Belly Puke dumber than Spoon? And what does the Wizard do?

Find out the answers for these questions in our next episode!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 03, 2016, 04:52:25 pm
HLPBowlers vs. Gashed Jaw (orcs), Game 17, 2nd quarter. (Up to turn 8)

Hidden Text: Show
Well, their blitz dropped our blitzer, but they couldn't press the advantage, given that our players are already far on their side, and their free players are mostly too far to contribute. Lesson with orcs: pitch control is very important.

Blackbelt Jones gets rid of him.

Black Dynamite moves in to secure the guy. He should stay down.

And then we run


And then we move the remaining two black orcs.

Black Knight just happened stroll over Azal, and Scourge makes a nuisance of himself by contacting the free player behind the troll.


And that would be our #5 turn right there.

Mammothtank is still tying three (3!) players around him, even if he is prone! Don't know what they are waiting for.

Belly Puke manages to blitz Scourge. Stand firm, Orc!

The result is a push. Then, the lineorc can advance forwards as he is unshackled

Finally, we see a Hail Mary play from a blitzer. Block with two dice against him. Tsk tsk. Black Dynamite is only pushed.

And that's their #5 over.

However, our Blackbelt Jones does not hesitate to punch someone weaker than him

Swashmebuckle checks his range

And runs! So long losers! Scotty and Srihag, both blitzers with fast feet, escort him

Then Black Knight one dies a skull


And it's a push

Black Dynamite one dies the troll away

And Mad Max teases the Gashed Jaws' thrower

Our turn is ended by Scourge taking a two die block against the troll. Can't be helped, man. Tough as nails Black Orc takes it to the face, ending our turn!


The two black orcs are still guarding Mammothtank. I mean Mammoth is close to being an illegal weapon himself, but two black orcs guarding him?

Black Dynamite gets blitzed

He goes down. But we have enough Orc power to tie the opposition for this turn.

Belly Puke blocks Mad Max

What's that? Do I see white? Do I see the Skull? Do I see three white skulls? Does the troll have block? Nooooo-o, he does not. This should be entertaining  :lol:

It's a re-roll! The loner checks! The new dice are delivered


Bahahahhahahahahaha! That's even MORE incompetent than Spoon! (Seriously, what are the odds of that happening?)


I actually had to check the probabilities of that happening. Three dice block has 3.7 % chance of failing if the attacker doesn't have any skills. That happened twice, so (0.037)^2 ~ 1,37E-3. But the Loner skill check was passed, so the probability was even more skewed.

Blackbelt pushes one blitzer away

Like vultures circling around a rotten carcass, Scotty and Srihag get in positions to the score line

Shall we stall another turn? It's our 6th.

Screw it


And Srihag scooooooores!



Our sleeping beauties seem to be awaking.

Our defensive formation is once again this

Black Boyz at the LoS center line, Rakclaw in the middle tying the troll. He is our most expendable bravest player! All hail Rakclaw!

And off it goes!

Say what you will, but fans are the spirit of the team!

The Gashed Jaws start from an interesting position, the ball fell just behind the LoS, but to the ground.

Rakclaw gets blitzed immediately after.


Of course


Give it to me straight doc, how long does he have?


Oh he is just Badly Hurt. No worries then.

The black orcs disconnect our black orcs


And the troll, oh my

He isn't like getting it today you see?

Re-roll! (WTF?)

But the troll is a loner, so Really Stupid remains, and that's their re-roll gone!

Then the right hand black orcs are disconnected

This time slightly more efficiently

Alright, it's our 8th turn.

Mammoth the blitzkrieg machine blitzes the Gashed Jaws Thrower. Objective: crush kill and destroy

It connects



That's right.

Moktrak then blitzes the Black Orc

He fells the opposition, allowing Blackbelt Jones to take the block

That's a wash.

Scotty moves back field to protect his precious skin.

And Swashmebuckle goes to the center. Stand firm, Orc, and WAAAAAGH!

So ends our 8th turn. The only thing left is to take the blocks that are about to come.

The Jaws attempt to cage

But unfortunately for them, Scourge is upholding the law on this corner of the pitch

You just ain't throwing two dice against blocks on him. It's a re-roll!


Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. This is one of those cases where you lose.




We are one-nil ahead, but it's their drive next on the second half. We shall follow closely the developments of this match, see the highlights tomorrow!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scourge of Ages on September 03, 2016, 06:25:56 pm
Yus! Crush da dirty orcz! Er, da other, dirtier orcz!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 05, 2016, 04:19:08 pm
HLPBowlers vs Gashed Jaw (orcs), Game 17, third quarter (up to turn 12).

Hidden Text: Show
Note to self: it's far more easier to keep the update schedule if the Hard Light Productions isn't off-line like yesterday


Ah the second half that separates Snotlings from Orcs!

It's the same deployment with Blitzers in a que at the flanks and Black Orcs at the Line of Scrimmage. The troll is handled by a sacrifical pawn rookie. If anything, that turns the rookie into a veteran very fast. Or mincemeat, but that's fast too!

Off we go

We are truly fan favorites once again

So lemme see, left flank possible advancement straight from the get go with a blitzer?

Trak, our rookie line orc gets blitzed. There's something about placing line orcs next to the trolls that seem to boil the opposition black orc and blitzer blood.

He goes down the turf, but already like a veteran, ready to stand up get some more

The right hand black orc disconnects Black Dynamite, allowing the other one to move


And our turn. Mad Max starts with a blitz. Besides picking the prone players up, there's not much else we could do.


Mad Max!!! Re-roll!


And yes, that will be a push. Mad Max doesn't have Mighty Blow to increase the chance of injury while as the opposition blitzer has, so better let the crowd deal with him.

Which handily did take place. Say hello to the tooth fairy, tell her she owns us money!

And Mad Max repositions

Blackbelt pushes. It's not a bad result, but I still can't shake the slightly disappointed feeling

Black Dynamite instead lands a clean hit. The armor isn't even broken, so that Black Orc is also standing up next turn.

Swashmebuckle retreats from engagement re-positions himself to be more mobile over the central pitch area.

And that's our turn #9

I'm seeing a small cage up coming on here

Uh, why would he go there?

And one more to the right hand flank.

Trak seems to be under fire here

And is knocked out. Dangit. There's something about those center field line orcs that makes them KO magnets.

Now, that's the AI turn, and our #10 starts. If you have been paying attention, you could almost imagine I've been leading the opposition in to a pouch. Or motti, if you know the Winter War terminology. Anyways, rest assured I wasn't planning that, and it sort of happened. So, given the opportunity, we deploy our wizard.


Fireball = nuclear war head, thunder = ion cannon. Since the opposition is caged tightly, it's gonna be the fireball.


EVA: Nuclear warhead approaching



Bro lol gets knocked out. Good. The rest of the cage seems far more uncertain of themselves after a blast like that.

That opening is the opportunity we have been waiting. Srihag moves

And Scotty blitzes

It's knock down, but not even a stun. Disappointing.

Black Knight knocks down another Black Orc.

"And stay dooown!"

Swashmebuckle anticipates the ball to move to right, hence he moves right.

Next our tactics are to tie as many opposition players and prevent them from reinforcing the blasted cage area. We may get a couple of broken bones, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.




Black Dynamite blocks the opposition black orc. You know it would be really handy if you could knock him down!

Shoulda known. Re-roll!


Well at least he has block, so that does nothing. That re-roll was wasted, though.

Blackbelt and Scourge make it to the central fight


Who ever controls the central pitch controls the game. And that's our #10 done.

AI attempts to pick up the ball

Fails once



And it works.

And it's a blitz. And ironically, against Mammothtank the blitzmachine. Hey, he probably has had it coming for some time.

The result is a knock down, but Mammoth is well above the legally conscious limit.

Aznik then pushes Blackbelt Jones away

The line orc gets flattened once again

And Mad Max goes down too. Guys, you are doing your job! Keep your chins up!... Actually, thinking about it, DON'T keep your chin up!

And it is our 11th turn

Srihag makes a move towards the ball carrier

Scotty blitzes, and scores a clean hit

...but if you expected that to stop him, you were wrong. He proceeds to pick-up the ball!

He makes it! And moves a bit further


Now that was some blocking, Scotty!

Swashmebuckle the over eager opportunist jumps on this band wagon immediately

Scourge blocks, but it's only a downed orc

Blackbelt goes next

And injures the opposition thrower

He shall play again, but not in this game

Black Dynamite moves in to assists in a block

Which is conducted by Black Knight
Disappointingly, pushes. Come on guys, I already thought the break bones machine starter to roar!

Mammothtank attempts to reinforce and stop the orc on upper left pitch


And fails. Re-roll!


Great success!

And that's our eleventh turn right there

Ironically, Mammothtank was the only player stopping this black orc from blitzing Scotty. We shall see how this pans out


Not today, son. Not today.

The rookie is once again flattened in the lower central pitch.

Black Knight and Blackbelt go both down in these blocks


And that's their turn. We start our 12th.

Mammothtank demonstrates why he is still the biggest bad dude in the field

Mammoth: You out!

Disappointingly, those spiked boots do not penetrate the armor every day. Mad Max goes to screen Scotty.

This is once again one of those rare games where we see Swashmebuckle pulling a blitz. And against no-one else but a black orc!

Being freed, Scotty runs towards the score line like the wind. Rather slow wind, but wind nevertheless.

Here we find the opposition troll surrounded by our Black Boyz. Hack'em to pieces boyz

Attempt #1

Attempt #2

Black Dynamite flattens the troll. No injuries, though. Unfortunate.

And that ends our 12th turn.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 06, 2016, 03:35:22 pm
HLPBowlers vs Gashed Jaw (orcs), Game 17, final quarter.

Hidden Text: Show
A wise man once said there are no winners in Blood Bowl, only survivors. We shall see how this will hold in the following matches to come.

Due to the way the players were left in the last turn, the opposition cannot actually do much but stand their players up. Everybody else is pretty much tied, or access towards Scotty is blocked.

Our line orc gets flattened once again.

Great job Rookie, you are tying that Black Orc perfectly!

Srihag stands as he is, these dice are not the ones you are looking for

And Black Dynamite gets pushed

And it's our turn.

Mammothtank advances. Backwards.

This concentration of fire power is enough to take down the troll, but unfortunately Scourge manages to push him only. It appears Belly Puke can handle the block power of this magnitude

Actually, let's re-roll that (brilliant idea, Mika)



Wait, Scourge had block.

Bwhaahahaha, that's one downed Troll then!

Black Dynamite and Knight only manage to push their opponents backwards. No use pushing people around.

Scotty looks behind and comes to the conclusion that our blocking strength just ain't what it's supposed to be, and decides to score instead. Who could blame him?





Whoa, Scotty looks pissed off there!

Reinforcements have arrived. Again.

And we deploy to the same formation. Three more turns, boyz!

And it's a go!

I'd laik to fank da fans, da team...

Opposition reinforces the front line

Picks up the ball, and starts pushing people around

Blackbelt goes down here

M-mmm, gotta love that AV 9!

Then Black Knight taketh away the easy re-roll. You know the sayin', eazy come eazy go




Bummer. He is now stunned.

Then they go Black Dynamite

He goes down, but the armor holds.

Our Line orc Trak then receives the obligatory three dice block

He too goes down.

There's no better time to start our turn than when our front line crumbles to pieces and then some.

Mammoth and Mad Max waste no time applying pressure for the ball carrier.

Mok crak fills in the gap in the middle. At least they have to roll over him first. Which hasn't been particularly difficult in this game, I note.

Then the rest just stand up. Not much else we could do, so prepare to receive some punches once again boyz

Right, right?


Pffffftt, alright you got me there, I'm really not going to stop yet.

Srihag and Scotty double team the one hapless player that parked in front of them


Scotty moves in to further pressure the ball carrier

Then Scourge discusses the finer details of blocks between fellow Black Orcs


That's a pretty nice parabolic arc you got there, mister!

Now this is a good place to end our turn

Opposition #15

You leave a gap to defenses, it gets taken advantage of

Such is world of Blood Bowl.

They are caging up! (Now imagine this being said in the Warcraft 2 Orc voice)

Yeah, breakthrough attempt in the middle pitch detected. Called it.

Bam! Straight to the kisser, but Mok Crak still remains consciousness.

And then another lino goes down

You know, this is sort of getting worrifying. Luckily the ball carrier has already moved.

Oh no, not Black Dynamite too!


It's a punch or get punched world out there!

Our karate master Blackbelt Jones mitigates the block to turn over. Good. At least the whole front line wont be off-line next turn.



And it's a push. Good.

Alright. What shall we do on our 15th turn?

Black Knight gets up and ties two of the opposition players

Then we get rid of this nuisance on the left hand side

Which will then allow Scourge to move ahead to make a more annoying road block to left hand side.

With an assist from Scourge, Mammothtank fells the cage corner

And Mad Max blitzes. Being frenzied, he blocks twice. Wonder if that could make a good movie title?

Of course, that doesn't mean he needs those two blocks




That certainly puts pressure on the opposition side :)

Scotty pushes the lino away from the ball

Finally, Srihag clears the line a little bit by pushing the opposition lino

Now why did I do this? Check dis out

Swashmebuckle dodges away from the player that's attempting to tackle him

He then proceeds to pick up the ball, he just needs to dodge once more, and he has the dodge skill



Nope, re-roll!





So let me get this, Swashmebuckle failed a dodge twice, stunned himself by falling, and caused a turnover? Well done chap. Clap clap.

Nuffle taketh, Nuffle giveth.

It's opposition's last turn.

Our rookies go down once again


Mad Max resists the Troll

But the lino's block finally gets him

Get's him good, it's a stun!

Srihag and Black Knight get pushed, nothing else. At least the opposition did not score.

The final turn.

Black Knight didn't like the push attempt, so he educates the Line Orc about the finer details of life.

Scourge makes more space

Now, we do have a possibility to score. It's highly risky, but whatever. Srihag has to pick up the ball next to Belly Puke, and hand it over to Scotty, who must then dodge away, and take two Go For It's.
Lemme see: 0.5 * 0.5 * 0.87 * 0.87 ~ about 0.19. Every fifth succeeds, but we don't have a re-roll. Still worth a shot.





Click here to see the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
Yay, some cash

Our MVP is actually Scourge

The hard-fisted Black Orc probably deserved it though he hasn't been injuring opposition, you can be damn sure some headaches have been delivered. Then again, Scotty's steal & runaway touchdown was worth MVP as well.


The only injury was delivered by Blackbelt Jones. That's the Mighty Blow right there.

Srihag levels up

He rolls 9 (dangit, so close to 10)

It's not a double, so no goodness can be delivered. Instead, he'll take Mad Max's frenzied role behind Scotty, making the opposition to worry about crowdsurfs on both sides of the pitch.


Our next match will be against Raging Smashers, the human team. Don't laugh.


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: swashmebuckle on September 07, 2016, 05:49:56 am
That's what happens when you try to play floopsy dodgy elf moves in a game against fellow orcs. It might have looked like I fell down, but rest assured I felt the mighty hand of Gork rightly smacking me in that horrible moment. I want it noted that I played this game under protest for being asked to perform such unorcish actions. I mean uh...we is green and mean and uh...make a Gorkamorka great again?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 08, 2016, 12:47:54 pm
That's what happens when you try to play floopsy dodgy elf moves in a game against fellow orcs. It might have looked like I fell down, but rest assured I felt the mighty hand of Gork rightly smacking me in that horrible moment. I want it noted that I played this game under protest for being asked to perform such unorcish actions. I mean uh...we is green and mean and uh...make a Gorkamorka great again?


If me knew no better, me says that Gork hand was da oppositshun Black Orc. Not hiz hand, but his feet.

But it iz o-kay, you has da weakest armor
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: swashmebuckle on September 09, 2016, 01:19:46 am
Not hiz hand, but his feet.
Da Krunch!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 09, 2016, 01:55:45 pm
HLP Bowlers vs Raging Smasher (humies), Game 18, first quarter (up to turn 4)

Hidden Text: Show
Today we play against the Raging Smashers. (Snort) You boyz have been up against da humans before, so no sweat.

Cuz we are more valuable, they take Extra team training. That gives them one extra re-roll per period. And Spoon is with us today.


Meanwhile, we sit on top of a big pile of cash (with many beautiful women)

Welcome to our home turf boyz. I took the liberty of updating the stadium to a more appropriate form

Note the Orcidas logo right there?

We lose the coin toss, so defense it is.

Here we go here we go on the ride with the HLPBowlers! (Let's see if someone gets this one)

Dang-nab-it boyz, those fans really do love us!

 :eek2: Whoa

That's an awesome kick!

Mammothtank receives a blitz straight from the get go. What, did the AI get smarter or what?

But that's a push.

Interestingly, either because I forgot to take screenshots, or because the opposition didn't do much else, it's our turn. How's that for a short turn description?  :D

We waste no time reinforcing Mammoth's position

Mammoth then blocks


Mammoth: How do ya like dem apples?!!!

And nothing happens. Dang.

Scotty and his wingman Srihag decided to tag another blitzer


Another one bites the hay. Scotty continues further

Trak goes to assist

Since most of the team have moved, you know what time it is. Black Boyz time!

Not astonishing accomplishment, Black Dynamite!

Blackbelt shows more progress by stunning one lineman


And Spoon pushes

That's our turn #1. We delivered some smacking, but we could have delivered even more smacking!

On their #2 go, they first reinforce the ball carrier. Cage anyone?

Scotty absorbs a block.

Somebody point out to Scotty that the block can be absorbed by moving, not always by falling!

Since our beefcage wall in the LoS is pretty much unbreakable with STR3 team, they don't even try. It's our turn then.

Scourge has had enough of this ridiculous non-action, and goes first

He doesn't accomplish anything, and with Fend on that catcher, he manages to keep Scourge on his place.

Rakclaw and Mammothtank assist Mad Max in his blocks. Unfortunately, I forgot he had frenzy, and selected both down. Since both have block, that ends the second frenzy block. You can't win every time

Black Dynamite accomplishes nothing with the block, it's a second one in a row.

Black Knight scores a direct hit

Unfortunately, the armor holds this time and it ain't even a stun.

Then, the opportunity comes. Srihag sets sail for murder, and revs the blitzing engine. He's frenzied enough to push somebody twice!

Impact! Boom! Oh yeah!


Spoon takes the block next

What do you want? A turnover or a push? Gotta love that troll!  :lol:

Blackbelt Jones goes next to harass the ball carrier. Or his proximity anyways.

And that's our second turn done!

The opposition gathers around Blackbelt Jones, and there comes the blitz. Typical

Not much luck in there pal!

Wait what, a re-roll?!!



Aand it's a knock out!  :eek2: I can hardly believe my eyes

A couple of movements more


And it's our turn once again. Turn #3 here we come!

Mammoth takes the first block

Which is double skulls. Typical. Re-roll!



Yea, that blitzer's out!

Black Knight takes one to the turf as well.

Scotty moves to the center to provide assistance. Black Dynamite blocks!

Scourge moves in on the left hand side, and finally, Mad Max blitzes!

And once again we are left with a nil. Nil as in no injury.

Having secured the area with Trak, I'm confident enough to let Spoon block (gasp)


A direct hit!


Did Spoon get angry after his injury or what? Did the rest of the team start to pick on him since his, ahem, shall we say, lower endurance?

That turn ends us in a position like this.

Lookin' good boyz!

Opposition #4

Hey, that's two dice AGAINST you if you block Scourge! Whatever, it's only your life

Re-roll! (In case somebody wondered why AI re-rolled this, it's probably because it determined it must move Scourge, and realized I would certainly not select defender down)


Poor baby, re-rolled it into a skull  :lol:

Yes. say with me:

Our turn #4

Mad Max drops one

Rakclaw moves in to assist Mammothtank, who blitzes the ball carrier

It's a push


With the exactly the same results. Dang. Even the dice were on the same positions!

Well, because the guy moved between the black orcs and Spoon, the situation is indeed not yet diffused!

Scourge takes a shot next

Two pushes and nothing. Great going guys

Black Dynamite fells one

While the hapless lineman feels the fury of Scotty's fists

He ain't dead. He ain't injured. He ain't even stunned!

Once the Thrower has been boxed in, Spoon can take a shot

Direct hit first time.

The ball has been released from his clutches, but there's not much we can do this turn to secure it. Most of our players have already moved

Trak moves up, and the Dynamic Duo Black Knight and Srihag take the tango on the humie blitzer

It actually took only Black Knight to knock him down, Srihag can move to the center.

It's our #4 turn end, and this is how it goes

Yea, nobody of the opposition is standing. That's orcs!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 09, 2016, 02:37:01 pm
HLPBowlers vs Raging Smashers (humie), Game 18, second quarter (up to turn 8).

Hidden Text: Show
It's the opposition #5. Which is mainly used to pick up the players (and their teeth) from the turf.

We get one block against Mad Max

That da best ya can do, punk?

And a dodge from a blitzer

And that's their #5.

We go. Starting with Black Knight
Who delivers


Whoa, the crowd kicked the **** out of his ribs! Must be our fans  :lol:

Our laughs are abruptly interrupted once Mammoth rolls double skulls. Yes, again.

We can actually still do stuff on this turn. Re-roll!


A push only. But that's enough given the circumstances.

Black Dynamite continues our onslaught.


Another one bites the dust


That pose is pure bad ass, Dynamite!


And that's his knee gone. Opponent re-rolls the injury!


We will actually see him again in full health by latest in the next half. Good job Dynamite anyways!


Wipe your grins and glees from your faces, Scotty just double skulled!

And, yes, it's a Turnover

Dangit Scotty!

Opposition turn #6

We'll now see a rather interesting development. This is a one die blitz against Mad Max.

You know those are kind of dangerous, right?

Feast your eyes on that!

And it's a re-roll! Understandable. Now comes the real test


Mad Max fails that test.

Aaaaand it's a crowd surf. Don't recall the last time our players have gone out of the pitch

Give em hell Mad Max. Let them break their toes to your armor!

Here's where the Thrower decided to one die Scourge

I do believe your re-roll was already spent, so Turnover losers

It's our 6th. Lemme see how this goes.

Black Dynamite takes one down here

Black Knight repositions to be useful once again

Mammoth takes one down, but does not jump. I REPEAT, DO NOT JUMP ON THE FALLEN PLAYER! You are needed standing!

Scourge introduces his bone 5 to the opposition lino! Meet the knuckles!

Trak moves to close the cage around the ball

Then Spoon blitzes. Yes you read right: Spoon blitzes this turn.

While this seemed like a good opportunity, the end result is once again disappointing

Since the catcher has Dodge, that's three pushes in a row.

Rakclaw blocks the upper left access to the ball

Srihag moves in to pick up the ball

Great success! He proceeds to run the heck away from the dodge

And that's our #6 right there!

As their first action, the opposition blitzes Rakclaw

He is knocked out

Does the saying too little too late ring a bell to ya humie?

The catcher adds a tackle zone around a black orc. Which is strange because the said Black Orc doesn't particularly mind a tackle zone around him, Black Knight wasn't to move anyways.

Their turn was ended with an unlucky double skulls against Black Dynamite.


Trak moves in to make it harder to hit Srihag

Srihag moves close to the pitch to be ready to score next turn

Black Knight exerts his presence over the catcher

Unfortunately, that's three pushes in a row once again.

Scourge flattens one close to the LoS, but not even a stun

Scotty moves in to be a nuisance.

Spoon blitzes once again


And yea, it's a stun.

You'd think that Spoon is starting to become some kind of bad ass here. But a couple of seconds later he does something like this

Yea, that's our troll

Mammoth moves up to further barricade the assists towards Srihag.

This is the tactical situation map after our #7.

Opposition turn #8.

The catcher blitzes Srihag. Not too bad, he is STR 2 while Srihag is STR 3. We look at two dice AGAINST block. You know, the funniest kind of block.

It's their time to suck that dodge goodness, that reads push or push!

And there's only one direction to push, the one that takes Srihag over the score line



Sure wouldn't like to be in that Catcher's shoes once the fans catch him.

Oh, and that apparently terminates our turn as well. Farewell the eight turn, we hardly saw ye!


But it's gotta be said that it's a cool stadium

Especially when I ordered booze tents near the pitch to make the crowd even rowdier.

They lost two to injuries, while we suffered a couple of KOs. Nothing too bad.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 09, 2016, 03:21:37 pm
Dying once has made me leaner, meaner and less stupid
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 09, 2016, 03:31:31 pm
Mike can I make the request that you make these posts somewhere off-site and the link them here?  I'm trying to read the most recent post, but that many pictures (several posts' worth) is taking a stupidly long time to load.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 09, 2016, 03:48:15 pm
Also like half of the pictures are broken so that ended up being a complete waste of time. :(
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 09, 2016, 05:40:05 pm
Putting posts in hidden tags might help too
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 11, 2016, 03:02:35 pm
Alright, I've seen broken links related to one game, but I haven't seen that happen to other games. ImgSafe seems to be offline occasionally, and I had to switch to PostImage, which seems to be running under Yandex... There might be a regional control going on there, but it is not on the options available to me.

What it comes to means of reducing the image and reading overhead, rest assured, I've been thinking about how to do this easier and there definitely is a motivation to do that. I thought writing them with single screen shots could be the fastest way for the audience, but I may be mistaken here. It's just that even the movements occasionally matter in this game, and not showing them takes away from the tactical dimension. The only feasible way I can think of would be to directly stream the games to YouTube in the future, but even then you are looking at one hour watching session per game. Hidden tags could be another option, though, but clicking could become annoying too. Didn't think of that.

However, HLPBowlers have only four games (in reality, two) to be played until the 24 team round robin cup is over. If there's will be a Season 2, that might be the option to use there.

The current match will be concluded on Monday when I'm anyways on painkillers due to removal of a wisdom tooth (and only 10 years late, yay me).

Once the season is over, there will be some end season statistics, including the time spent from my part.

EDIT: Ah, I do see that the problem could be the load times with the images. I'll think we'll try the hidden tags tomorrow. Modifying the posts for that for the earlier 1-8 pages could take a while, but I think I'll do that at some point.

Please next time inform me faster about the problematic load times, I'd have wanted to hear that after the first couple of games.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 11, 2016, 03:21:01 pm
There's also this handy thing (http://lpix.org/sslptest/) for hosting an LP-post off-site for individual post loading.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 11, 2016, 03:23:47 pm
loading times aren't really much of an issue for me personally.

Also my suggest with hidden tags is to put the whole post into it, so you can expand the whole post, not individual images.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 11, 2016, 03:29:10 pm
Loading times are a massively deal-breaking issue for me right now, since it took nearly five minutes for this page to stabilize enough to actually type my first response today.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 11, 2016, 03:48:05 pm
OK, as a quick remedy, I've now added Hidden tags to all games within the page 9. Let me know if it works.

Please don't venture to former pages as they'll load slowly, only page 9 has been dealt with Hidden tags.

I'll probably do this for the rest of the pages when I have time.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 12, 2016, 02:01:16 pm
HLPBowlers vs Raging Smashers (humie), Game 18, third quarter (up to turn 12).

Hidden Text: Show
And it's our turn to receive the kick. The standard deployment to the LoS, note the one lineman behind Spoon, whispering him what to do. He is the figurative devil standing physically behind him.

It's a kick (is it just me or does the humie look a bit depressed already?)

You know, you just gotta love dem orks. There's something sincere and authentic in them!

It's a good kick, landing directly on to our finish line. Moc Crak goes to screen the ball, while Swashmebuckle awaits for the command to pick it up.

Black Knight, Black Dynamite and Scourge flatten the front line. That's to be expected, but no stuns or injuries are inflicted.

Mammoth blitzes a Mighty Blow + Guard blitzer in attempt to remove him from the game. It's unfortunately only a push

Trak provides direct cover for Swashmebuckle, who picks up the ball. Don't fail me now Orc!

As for why, that's because if he fumbles the ball and it ends out of bounds, the audience will kick the ball, possibly even to humies!

Our 9th turn ends like this, with Spoon standing alone scratching his head. It was Trak who was supposed to tell him what to do. Note the stronger deployment on right side.

On their turn, the humies stand their players up, and manage to blitz Scotty.


That is also a push, so the first two blitzes have not really cleared the way.

Our turn #10

Swashmebuckle advances the ball further, and closer to the center.

The linos provide front cover, while in the question of back cover we trust in the stronger front cover, i.e. Spoon and the Black Boyz. Scared yet?

Mad Max and Mammoth then try to frenzy push a lino out of bounds to the gentle hands (and ironed boots) or the crowd. Mad Max rolls too well, and knocks the lino down.

He proceeds to close the center field in anticipation of the ball carrier switching over to the left side. We shall see whether the opposition reacts to this threat.

Remember when I said Spoon needs constant supervision gentle aid for peak performance? Well, Scourge does that here

Unfortunately, Spoon is too far away from the opponent to make a block. Thus he has to move one square to get connected with the lineman. Come on troll, you can do it!

He does! Wunderbar!

Dynamite and Knight make their consequent one step forwards moves to get connected and possibly to block something next turn - that is unless they are blocked first.

Scotty and Srihag then block down the opposition players next to them. Thanks to Black Dynamite, Srihag can do this with two dice, while Scotty had to deal with a single die.

And that's our 10th.

Opposition goes like this:

So Scotty goes down. Fair enough.

Their catcher runs in the middle of our pitch, behind the LoS. Now remember what I said about the back side of the cage? The one that relied on the LoS players not letting anyone through? Well, there you have it.

And it's not only one Catcher, there's two of them.

Finally, like Putin on his invasion to Crimea, the final deal is to keep the reinforcements route open. That's why Srihag gets blocked.

But the blitzer is a slippery one, and resumes standing on his feet, albeit a couple of feet further back.

Finally to test the limits of our LoS, there's a probing attack on Black Dynamite. Having block, he principally says GTFO with this dice.

It's our 11th turn

The plan has not changed, the ball must be brought to the opposition scoring line, and Swashmebuckle continues with steely eyed determination towards the LoS line where the stronger guys make their pay checks.

Like the fish cleaning the dirt from cachelot's teeth, so do our linos follow Swashmebuckle.

Hey Scourge, could you shove that lino away so that Mad Max can move?

"Okie-dokie coach!"

Yes young ones, you'll find our cage almost fully operational now!

Meanwhile on the right hand side
Given the STR4 blitzer humies have acquired (probably due to a large intake of steroids), the situation needs clearing. And Black Knight is just the kind of cleaner for the job. He blocks the first guy standing next to him, knocking him down on the process.

This allows Scotty to block the other blitzer that knocked HIM down last turn.

Revenge is a dish best served young, alive and kicking!

Uh, wait? Re-roll that!


Seeing a definite lack of POW here...

Srihag moves in to LoS to provide assistance for Black Dynamite

And finally Mammothtank makes the cage fully operational

Yes, I goofed. Should've done that earlier. Especially with that re-roll that could have back fired.

Spoon is not to block this turn. I repeat, do NOT let the troll block anything!

That's the end of our 11th.

The humies play dishonest game. The sort where you gang up on a player and punch them with impunity. Like Dynamite experiences here.

Scotty goes down once again, pray for Nuffle the armor holds!

And it does

That's their 11th in a nutshell.

Our 12th starts

Black Knight is having none of this dirty steroid stuff, and blocks the offender

Which allows Scotty to blitz again the guy who knocked HIM down.

"Did not get enuff of it, huh?"

Srihag then disconnects from the LoS, probably leaving astonished Black Dynamite behind. That's a 67% success probability for the dodge, with an automatic re-roll, so that's around 84 % IIRC.

Meanwhile, Swashmebuckle has moved behind the safety offered only by the Big Looming Guys.

That's our 12th right there.

A lino blitzes Scotty. This is starting to become some kind of habit. Well, we are sporting AV9 while the humies have AV8, so that's a trade I'm willing to make.

Black Dynamite ain't having any of that successive probing attacks.

"Humie go home or me make humie go home!"

Oh, a re-roll??


"Huh hur, me make humie go home!"


Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 12, 2016, 02:58:48 pm
HLPBowlers vs Raging Smasher (humie), Game 18, Final quarter (up to turn 16 with outcome)

Hidden Text: Show
Our 13th turn starts equally well. Come on now guys!

Hooray for Block. What would we do without you? Whact could we do without you?

Finally, Black Dynamite has had enough of these skull shenanigans, and blocks properly. That catcher goes doooown

Spoon, it's all up to you now! You have to spear head our assault on the humies!

The troll agrees for once. I mean, he hasn't provided disappointment for most part in this game?

The rest of the cage moves up in unison

Our lino shows to couple of more veteran orcs how it's done.

And he isn't done yet. He moves to assist further blocks. And makes Scotty more safe close to the pitch's border.

Scotty makes a daring one die block, but it's only a push. So ends our 13th turn.

One humie runs next to Black Knight. He probably attempts to tie him to that square. If that's the case, he succeeds, but probably receives a proper punch to the face.

Scotty is blitzed once again.

You'd think he'd get a Thick Skull skill after this match, but that's apparently more harder than it seems.

The ever friendly and assisting lino Trak goes down.

But that Orcish AV9 is tough to break, and he isn't even stunned by this block.

Like a wolf pack nibbling at the exposed joints of their prey, Mok Crak gets pushed at the other side of the pitch. Dem humies are like flies! They are everywhere but where your fist lands!

This guy prevents our expansion to left

While this guy becomes a road block in front

And that's their #13 there.

Wasting no time and giving no rest for the lino who just ran nearly half the pitch, Scourge makes his move and attacks the opposition while they are exhausted. That's the spirit, orc!

Spoon follows the suite. It's amazing, I'm now complaining that he doesn't screw things up!

The rest follow, leaving Swashmebuckle near the end zone

Here Mammothtank provides cover for the back side of the cage.

And here we can see Mammothtank re-rolling the injury roll of the opposition

Still nope

With Mammothtank prone on the ground, Mok Crak goes in to protect the left flank.

Black Dynamite delivers the comma ending the sentence.

It could be POW as well, but that's semantics.

That's our 14th done.

Now, let's see the action on the right side of the LoS, where a 3 vs 3 fair fight man vs orcs is going.

Trak goes down easily

Scotty gets pushed around

And Black Knight goes finally down.

It was a valiant effort boyz and you did your best  :drevil:

Mok Crak baits a turnover here, but at the cost of his teeth.




Well at least it's their re-roll gone now.

Three guys gather around Black Dynamite

And apparently beat the crap out of him too

Well it ain't going like in the text books boyz. Luckily no injuries or stuns, and it's our 15th turn

Scourge is once again the trail blazer

Mad Max moves to upper right corner of the cage

And once again Mika realizes he got the sequence wrong for a safe play. Mad Max should have moved only after the blitz result of the Mammothtank was known.

Which happens to be a POW this time. But it well could have been double skulls. We have seen him pull those stunts too!

This is the final greeting from Mammoth to the prone player. His boot bottoms say "Bad" and "Mofo" for those interested

The cage being complete, Swashmebuckle is once again safe to threaten the touch down.

But we opt to play time. Hsss, nobody tell that to 'umies!

Scotty makes a push, but that's it.

He isn't particularly prone to surfing, as Black Knight's body shields him from a direct attack.
The humies must blitz him from behind to push him towards the blitzer, who could then surf him. However, the 'umies should have more important things to blitz with the cage nearing their scoring line.

That's our turn 15.

They attempt to add people in front of our cage!


A worthy effort, but futile.

Mok Crak gets punched down once again. What is this, time to play punching bag or what?

Uh oh, that doesn't bode well for our heroic Right LoS players that have taken a significant beating in this match

Like a punch me Elmo, Scotty gets up and is smacked down once again

Black Knight is pushed to the border

And one more player is added to the mix. Well AI, the more you put them there, the less we have in front of our cage.

Fear not boyz, the end is nigh!

Our turn #16.

Check this action out. Mad Max moves one square.

Like that.

Observe how the path Mad Max opened is now tackle zone free.



Aw yeah, boyz get up from the pitch, it's the final turn of the game!

We deploy to a formation I call stupid AI defensive formation

Oh, a free chance of injuring their players?

Don't mind if we do! Mammoth, you go!

This end result here, with Mammoth lying on his back with a big flash symbol on him and an opposing player lying next to him tells the whole story. The first one did not work, Mammoth jumped on it, and that didn't work either.

A lino chooses to protect Mad Max from a blitz

While Trak provides assistance for Scotty.

This is it boyz! Our final stand! (For appropriate music, I recommend this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na_Zac23b5E))

I know we haf been through lot in diz game, but diz is da end. Today marks the day we stand firm, or die trying!

Opposition #16
The ball pick up succeeds

There in comes the blitz. It's Scourge!



Scourge resists once again!

Black Knight gets pushed!

And that's the best they could do! We won!

Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
Oooh no, superstars like us don't get paid nearly enough for the stuff we do



That's better!

Our Most Valuable Player is Blackbelt Jones

And the SPPs are as such
Spoon and Black Dynamite caused injuries, Srihag and Swashmebuckle scored

Next we go against da elfies!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 12, 2016, 05:05:06 pm
Alright, I have added hidden tags to all matches played. You should have easier time in browsing through the games played with this modification.

Page 8 image links are indeed broken and not recoverable through ImgSafe. Luckily Blood Bowl 2 has a built in recorder that allows replaying the matches, hopefully allowing me to take new screen shots. However, I'd first like to get the rest of the matches out of the way before fixing those.

And whoa there's been a lot of writing in the exploits of HLPBowlers. Being divided over half a year, it hasn't felt like that much at any point, it's just that when you try to go through them in a single evening...
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 12, 2016, 05:23:28 pm
Hiding the posts made this whole thread instantly more readable, thank you.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 13, 2016, 03:51:22 pm
Hey, it's better that people can read the thread! Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

I've also repaired the image links in the game against Crawling Scorers on Page 8. Since there is two other games to fix, I might do that tomorrow.

EDIT: Links to the Bronze Breakers match are now repaired.

EDIT^2: Links to Copper Hammers match are now repaired. All matches played should now be accessible.

Given the strong painkillers I've had to use to endure the pain associated with the wisdom tooth removal, we will have to see whether I can post the elf game tomorrow.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 17, 2016, 03:19:42 pm
Blood Bowl II has been updated, and the team roster is more easy to follow. Everybody is visible, their skills and their player value is too! It's a welcome change! Additionally, the Necromantic team has been launched. So during the writing of this Let's Play, three more teams have been added to the game (Norse, Undead and Necromantic)

The current HLPBowlers roster looks like this:

Now you can boast your player value to everybody!

HLPBowlers vs Bright Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 19, First quarter (up to turn #4)

Hidden Text: Show
The Silverleaves team is a typical High Elf one. They don't have a big guy, and everything is polished to the perfection. I hate them already.

Their team stats do not display anything alarming or particularly dangerous towards us.

Since we are once again back in the line and sport a higher valued team, they get to pick the inducements

A Halfling Master Chef and Star Player called Dolfar? The Master Chef could potentially rob our game if he manages to steal all our re-rolls - the smell of well cooked food from the Elven pitch may be too much of a temptation for the hardest Orcs to ignore.

And Dolfar looks like this, so that you know who to punch boyz.

Given that the HLPBowlers sports several big fisted dudes, it is likely that the attrition of war Blood Bowl favors us. Hence we kick.

This is our line up, this time with more careful placement of players behind each other. It's not that we are particularly afraid of the elf bash (HAH!), but because we are afraid of dem elves dodging through our lines otherwise.

It's a kick!

And we could change the position of our players to match the elves'. Not much point in there.

Dolfar picks the ball, and the ball happened to land on him. Pretty much.

The elves reposition their players first to block our access before committing to breaking our lines

The line elf blitzes Blackbelt Jones, not only knocking him down, but also stunning him.



And before the information of the Blackbelt's unfortunate incident has faded, we already get a breakthrough attempt. It's an elf catcher, ready to pick up the tossed ball if it ever gets launched from their side. The problem for the elves is that they sent only one catcher, making this one quite easy prey for us.

Our Turn #1 starts with Rakclaw reinforcing the hole caused by Blackbelt falling down.


Seeing the opportunity, Mammothtank blitzes



Mammoth you are NOT allowed to jump. I repeat, do NOT JUMP! (This is to keep the line closed). The catcher is stunned by this blitz, eh, good enough I suppose.

Our right hand fellas get connected once again to the elves, while Swashmebuckle, Scotty and Srihag provide defense in depth.

And that's our Turn #1. We hand it over to the elves.

Elf Turn #2

The ball is brough slightly closer to the LoS, but the elves are not easy ones to tie into honest orc vs elf bashing competition. We don't get easy blocks on this one.

Their well statted catcher blitzes Black Knight


And this right here would be a turnover.

Our turn #2.

HLPBowlers does not tolerate such blitzing actions next to our LoS, so Scotty and Srihag deliver our response to this transgression



Remember that Srihag has Frenzy, so he blocks twice. That's some crowd surfing art right there. It's still very important that our defensive network remains intact so he returns back to the guard station Scotty was located in before.


Rakclaw moves back to Spoon to support his decision making

And it's a double push from Spoon.

Finally, Mad Max and Mammothtank take one step front to have that one more square of reach if needed for the next turn

That would end our turn.

Elf Turn #3

But so do the elves take advantage of our weaknesses, even they prey on the weak. The niggled and unskilled Rakclaw gets blitzed straight from the beginning.

Since the elf lineman has Wrestle, both players fall down but no injury rolls are performed and the elven turn continues. This is the reason why we have defense in depth, had it been a single player with no back up behind him, we would be looking at elves seeping through our line like nothing!

They seem to be extending to left

But that's pretty much all they could do as well.

Our turn #3

Mad Max has not forgotten the catcher in our side. He blitzes the nuisance, hoping for a player removal.

The block roll is good

But no armor break occurs, so he returns back to the guard station

Blackbelt Jones then takes a good old honest block

He manages to knock the elf down with Both Down, as he has Block and the elf doesn't.

Spoon takes a block action as well


Will you look at that grunt he is making!  :lol: Oh and the block was a stun.

As is becoming customary, Black Knight flattens one more. Scotty and Srihag ran to assist, that's because the elf has dodge and wrestle. Specifically both down could leave a gap in our defenses.


... which in the end was unnecessary caution as the elf was knocked out.

Our third turn ends with guys advancing and pressing for attack from the right hand side, which has less resistance

Elf turn #4

We see a reinforcing action towards right

A cheeky block against Spoon

Which was re-rolled to this

Aand the troll goes down once again. Luckily, given the numbers advantage we have, they couldn't press the attack further.

Our turn #4.

Spoon agrees to stand up, don't you Spoon?

Yes he does, good boy!

Blackbelt blocks an elf that had parked in front of him. Oh will they ever learn?

Given that Spoon is up, Rakclaw takes a block next.

We take the push thank you.

Scourge runs up for a flanking maneuver

Mad Max guards the catcher

Scotty moves further up to get connected

Determining that the center pitch is strong enough, Swashmebuckle moves to left to provide back up

...which becomes specifically important now that Mammothtank has a clear shot at the ball carrier

Nope nope nope



As ridiculous as that is, it is enough. Dolfar doesn't have block!

Mammoth then sends his regards to the Star Player.
"With love from HLPBowlers"

The ball makes a very interesting scatter, and drops behind our front line. Now this is a very interesting development!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 17, 2016, 04:22:39 pm
HLPBowlers vs Bright Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 19, Second quarter (Turns 5-8)

Hidden Text: Show
Elf turn #5

The elves stand up their players - well at least some of them - and probably panicked on losing the ball. Their next move is extremely risky and cheeky. It's just that these spoiled rich brats have no concept of pain or their actual physical prowess compared to other species.

The attempt to run past our lines and pick up the ball. Yes. They can do that occasionally.

Yes, they got there. How about the pick-up?

No, and the re-roll fails as well. Turnover

Well well well, power shifts quickly in this game. Our turn #5

Scourge advances, flattening a player.

You know Scourge, it would be really good if you managed to injure somebody. You would level up, and would gain new options of hurting people.

Blackbelt clears the path furthermore, knowing in his heart that even if he rolled a push, this will still contribute to the game, and possibly lessen the ridicule of him not being able to punch the pouncy elf to da face.

Mad Max takes one down on the left flank

Srihag continues on the right

And Mammothtank blitz-pushes one away from ze ball

Rakclaw pushes the final annoyance away

Spoon, would you kindly cover the left bottom corner of the cage?

He does, which allows Swashmebuckle to attempt picking up ze ball

Sure Hands saves our re-rolls again

Finally, Scotty moves in to the center. Another Mighty Blow blitzer is well received in the pitch center.

A fantastic turn.

Elf turn #6

We see movement in our backfield

And just as we finished moving Scotty to the center field, he is receiving a blitz

He goes down, allowing another elf to roam freely.

But but, they are attempting to block our path!



Stay still you wine drinking fairy! (And yes High Elves are ridiculously good at dodging)

Finally, our Turn #6 arrives.

The following images should capture the spirit of WAAAAGH!


Then Black Knight moves back to the center to lock in the downed players

Scotty takes one down

And moves to tie in another

Mammothtank makes a slight nudge towards Spoon, telling Spoon to get his ass on the front


Finally, Mad Max knocks the pesky catcher out


Our sixth turn leaves us in the center field, and the elves lying on the ground!

Elf turn #7

We do see one hopeful attempting to stop us. It's probably like this:

Just replace the goggles with armor and you know what I mean


Then another one stands up and takes one step further. The elves, they can be really annoying like that.

Luckily, Scotty has HAD it with these mothertrucking dodges in this mothertrucking match

It does get re-rolled, but hey, at least one re-roll is burned then.

Another escapes from Scourge

And we see a blitz against - drum roll - Scotty!


I can't believe it, Scotty is down again! We really need a jump up skill for him!

That's the end of their turn

Our turn #7

We start with Blackbelt Jones blocking away the opposition. What? They were asking for it


A stat injury to a Star Player? Well done Blackbelt!

Scourge does not like to be tied, and blocks another away.

Still no SPPs there Scourge!

The pivotal block for this half is shown here. Black Dynamite rolls a push, meaning that we have to shift our direction. Going through those three elves there would require too much time which we don't have anymore! At least you got the elf away from Swashmebuckle.

Mammoth is the first to go

Mad Max runs to assist

Swashmebuckle moves in to the makeshift cage

... And then we block!

Black Knight takes one down

Rakclaw stuns another

Which clears path for Srihag to move in to assist the cage. Yes, he needs to dodge away, but he has Dodge. Nice to use some elfy skill against the elfs for once.

The icing of our figurative cake is Spoon blitzing at the end of this turn. Yes you can close your eyes now.

Of course, what else would you expect from him?



 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

I suppose Spoon fell down to fool the ref?

Anyways, it's a turnover. A stylish turnover if I may add.

The Elf turn #8 starts with a blitz. They pretty much have to try to stop us.

Blackbelt "Thou shall not pass!"

And we get another opportunist attempting to block our path

That's their #8.

Our Turn #8, the final turn.

Basic Math says that since Swashmebuckle has a movement of 5 +2 (Go For Its), and the score line is 8 tiles away, it's not possible for him to score. It has to be either Mad Max or Mammoth. He launches the ball to Mad Max:

Woot! Our first pass??!!

Unfortunately, Mad Max fumbles the catch



And foiled again! Dangit Mad Max! You had a 67 % chance of catching it, TWICE!




Well at least we have had some attrition rate on the opposition in this game  :drevil:

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 17, 2016, 05:24:47 pm
Death really seemed to have cured my stupidity  :p
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 18, 2016, 09:04:52 am
Death really seemed to have cured my stupidity  :p

You are now vulnerable, and that makes you more dangerous than ever.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 18, 2016, 09:57:34 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 19, Third quarter (turns 9-12)

Hidden Text: Show
Our turn #9


Our receiving formation is like this. Most of you already recognize this as our offensive formation. And defensive formation for anybody else than those dodgers.

The elves throw the ball, and it's a high kick

Mad Max attempts to receive the ball

He fails.

As usual, we gather around the ball to help Swashmebuckle pick it up assist Swashmebuckle if he fumbles it up.

Ball being secured, we initiate the blocking actions. And no, Swashmebuckle didn't exactly pick it up at this point.



[Sigh] Sometimes even a knockdown is too much to ask.

Alright Dynamite and Blackbelt, engage an elf from both sides!

Srihag, blitz!

Second block provided to you by Frenzy!


Good, one elf out. Swashmebuckle, go pick it up now!

He succeeds! Great!

Elf turn #9

The elves uncharacteristically strengthen their center field and provide a second layer of defense

Oh the blitz? That's against Scourge

One of them dodges away from Black Knight's clutches

Which allows a second block straight in the middle of our defenses

Note that the elf doesn't have block or wrestle :drevil:, so Scourge knocks him down, and it's a stun.


Our turn #10

Black Knight starts to knock opposition down. Good

Oh, and an injury? What a wonderful surprise! What kind of injury is it?

A Badly Hurt elf, and Black Knight can once again live with a clean conscience

Our cage takes immediate advantage of the removed player

Scotty closes the cage, looking intently to the center of the pitch. Where ever you need a raging blitzing green skin, here you got a good one. Mad Max moves in to assist the cage as well.

Blackbelt knocks one down. Pay attention to the actions of this Black Orc during this half and maybe you'll learn something.

Hey Spoon, move a bit!

I take that as a no then. Mutters: Had to happen at some point

Like a mid range tactical bruise missile, Srihag moves in to blitz

You know what, I want that elf down for the beginning of the next turn! Sure, go wrestle with him Srihag! Make sure his armor gets extra muddy!  :drevil:

Then Scourge knocks one down, but no dice on the injury. C'mon game!

The Orcish horde is very effective at knocking players down as can be seen from the aftermath of our #10 turn

Elf turn #10

Somebody attempts to stop us?

Then we see a dodge

And a blitz against Mad Max. It's the very same elf that wrestled Srihag to the ground!

Mad Max goes down.

It's our Turn #11, started by nobody else but Blackbelt

That elf is down again.

Scourge takes the responsibility of the next one.

Nope, could not break his armor

Mammothtank goes next, blitzing




A class act, it's miss all games for that Elf!

But cool guys do not lament or ponder what they have done, they have a job to do, and Mammoth's is trailblazing!

Swashmebuckle follows the suit

Our turn #11 ends in this position

Elf turn #11

A dodge

And given the apparent superior local strength, a blitz is mounted against Mammothtank

And Mammoth takes a beating, but is not even stunned

Then there's the inevitable long dodge, which works again.

That's their turn #11

Our Turn #12

Mammoth having already scored, I (inform the men and) instruct Scotty to blitz instead

Oh well

Then we just fill the gap, there's really no rush for us at this rate

Black Dynamite fills in to provide some needed muscle

Mad Max moves in to make it harder for the elf to dodge

And Trak is the backup

Scourge lands once again a clean hit

But the elf is just merely knocked down. You seriously need to up the ante, Scourge!

Spoon blocks one

But no. Not knock outs are achieved this turn.

Black Knight finally advances one step

Elf turn #12

They dodge one away

And blitz Mad Max

Which doesn't work very well either, so we are about even.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 18, 2016, 10:54:55 am
HLPBowlers vs Bright Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 19, Final quarter (Turns 13-16)

Hidden Text: Show
Our turn #13
Blackbelt continues the knock-the-opposing-elf-down tradition

It's a stun

Black Dynamite moves in to assist, and Scotty blitzes

Mammothtank advances to keep this elf player in check

Swashmebuckle steps up

And the rest follow. Black Knight punches a particularly well developed elf down here.

While Scourge keeps company for this elf

Mad Max performs a POW operation

... and that's our turn in the wrap. Nothing significant or interesting happened


Elf turn #13

It's an attempted dodge from the Mammothtank


Re-roll saves!

And we get a blitz against Mad Max

Which turns out to be an anticlimatic push

And one more elf runs to reach the ball carrier. He gets to the side

And that's it. It's our turn #14

Swashmebuckle hits it!

And the rest follow, even if it requires taking a go for it, looking at you Black Dynamite

Scotty removes the immediate threat around Mad Max. By blitzing, what else?


Scotty: You owe me!

And runs to screen of the bottom of the cage, Trak does not have any skills

Scourge follows the elf who just ran away

And Mad Max screens of another pathway

The question of the hour is will Spoon make it to the cage this turn?

He actually does!

And that's our #14. Still nothing significant happened. Although, not surprisingly, as the opposition has suffered quite an attrition on this match. But we're still looking for a bit more of that sweet sweet Kerr-runch!

Elf turn #14

A blitz was mounted against Mad Max

Oh no!

Oh, he is just Badly Hurt. Not worth Apoing at this point of the game. Last minute deaths have been known to happen...


Stay still you dodging gits!

Our turn #15
Blackbelt goes and knocks down that one pesky elf one more time

No injury. What the zog, game? I mean, that's like 8th time he's delivered a Mighty Blow block on the elf, and nothing but stuns!

Scotty, take that one guy down!

Well well well, we might have an elf symphatiser here in our midst. Re-roll that!

Scotty!  :mad:  :mad:  :mad:  :mad:

Are you trying to lose us the game or what?


Elf turn #15

As expected the elves attack the weakest link, Trak


But that's only a push

Perhaps it was the towering Spoon that scared this elf away

And this guy clearly does not want to get pushed to the crowd.

Our turn #16, do NOT screw this up boyz!

Black Knight goes to provide support

Scourge blitzes

He rolls well

Oh, an armor break?




He finally levels up! Huzzah for Scourge!

A Badly Hurt elf is lying next to him. He is quickly carried away by stretchers

Blackbelt! What the hell are you doing orc?!!



No injuries either. What happened to his Mighty Blow?

Anyways, Swashmebuckle has seen enough incompetence for this turn that he does not risk the touchdown. Not even with a pass.

And our thrower scores again


Do the gorilla!

We may have to start looking for another thrower, Swashmebuckle is starting to hog up a lot of touch downs!

The elven losses are considerable


As opposed to our Mad Max dozing of in the injury pit

And we are once again kicking the ball, thus a tight defense network is needed. This one is called "missing one orc" formation

Swashmebuckle kicks

And we have an extra re-roll that we will never get to use. Wooo!

Elf turn #16

They form a sparse screen and pick up the ball

We see one escaping

And one blitzing Blackbelt Jones





Oh what?



So Blackbelt's mojo was finally re-discovered!


Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show
We roll 4 for winnings

The game is 1-0, and Srihag gets the Most Valuable Player award! Congratulations Srihag!

The game stats are like this

And the total number of SPPs gained is significant for us

Netting us three level ups in total! Swashmebuckle, Scourge and Mammothtank, congratulations on your promotions!

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 18, 2016, 11:00:39 am
The HLPBowlers level ups are as follows:

Click here for Scourge's level up
Hidden Text: Show
Scourge earns Mighty Blow

I love the Teal'c fashion he is having!

Click here for Mammoth's level up
Hidden Text: Show
Mammothtank rolls #10 for the level up. This means improved armor value, improved mobility, or any normal skill

For the blitzer, it is very important to stay mobile. So you get extra movement! Congratulations!

Now there's a chin to break ice with!

Click here for Swashmebuckle's level up!
Hidden Text: Show
Swashmebuckle rolls a double!

And gets guard so that he can also participate more in the bashing game, just by standing there!


The HLPBowlers roster looks like this after the game
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 19, 2016, 12:02:17 pm
The next match is against the dark dork elves

HLPBowlers vs Lighting Hearts (dark elves), Game 20, First quarter (turns 1-4)

Hidden Text: Show
We go against this merry little bunch of fellas today

Their players are not too skilled as of yet. A couple of Side Stepping persons will prove to be a nuisance to get rid of.

They hire Eldril Sidewinder, the amnesiac Star Player who goes on by helping any elves, despite having forgotten which faction he belonged to. A Bloodweiser Babe has been added to the mix as well.

"Horned Rat Gutters" stadium?  :lol:

This is Eldril. He can hypnotize people.

We won the coin toss, so we are actually kicking. Remember, it's elves. If we score quickly, I don't want to play defensive for the rest of the game. I much prefer the elves score quickly.

This is our defensive formation. As you can see, I've taken an extra square between the pitch border and the players, this is because of Frenzied Witch Elves.

And we go!

Well a Quick Snap ain't too bad

Elf turn #1

They start from the arrow formation

After some moves for pitch control, we see their first action. And it's nasty, their assassin attempts to stab Spoon!

Spoon's armor holds, but he definitely is at much greater risk of getting assassinated than he used to be.

The other witch elf picks up the ball. Luckily, as she won't be able to do anything worse

Having moved the players, we finally see the Blitz action. It's by nobody else than Eldril, and against Black Dynamite!

However, the outcome is somewhat anticlimatic

Finally, line elf defends the super star

Our turn #1

Since our defensive lines weren't broken, this is quite an easy turn. Rakclaw assists

And Scotty blitzes

And reduces the head count already by one. It's a knock out

And as much as the elves tried to protect Eldril, they found themselves in a situation where their defences crumble. Black Dynamite discusses the Blitz action with Eldril. With his fists!

Eldril goes back to the grass roots level.

Swashmebuckle goes to talk to Spoon. Can't imagine topics but I suspect it might have something to do with eating.

Srihag closes the right flank, as the witch would have difficult time attacking Srihag alone.

Mad Max and Mammoth reinforce the defensive line on the left

And Spoon blocks

Well I sort of counted on this and Spoon going down isn't actually a problem. Perhaps he'll be able to repeat the incident last time where he hurted somebody with Both Down?

Nope, the opponent is just stunned. At least the assassin is down for the next turn.


Elf turn #2

We see the elves concentrating their players around the ball carrier

And Eldril runs back? What do they have on their minds?



"You will obey me!"

Great, Blackbelt must now break the hypnosis. He doesn't even provide tackle zones.

Then we get a blitz against Scourge


Which indicates that Scourge goes down. Will this be a breakthrough attempt?

Interestingly, no. Instead, it's our turn #2.


[Sigh] And I had such high hopes for you troll

Scotty, Swashmebuckle and Rakclaw reinforce the left hand side

Black Dynamite provides a flanking support for the right

Srihag moves in to assist

Mammothtank engages in the fisticuffs. What ever you do, don't lose to the zoggin' elves!


It's a stun. Good. Now don't jump, and everything will be alright.

Mad Max blocks Eldril

It's the second one that catches and injures him

Good. One less annoyance on the pitch.

Black Knight then blocks the last standing line elf on the right, not very successfully.

Blackbelt goes head to head against the witch elf

 :mad:  :banghead:


Whatever, you can go wrestle with her.

Our second turn ends in this

Elf Turn #3

The first hopeful is running away from Black Knight. This is a grave receiving threat and must be dealt with.

The witch elf moves closer to the left
Are they attempting to dodge through our left flank?

The elves guard the ball in a very tight group

Hmmm, this could work to our advantage.

The second witch elf then blocks Mad Max, and Mad Max goes down

Our turn #3

Srihag checks the guy who got past our defensive line

The more effective defense is of course, to steal the ball from the elves.

Scourge takes one down like that

Black Dynamite does the same

Scotty blitzes the guy next to the ball carrier, he is the last line of defense

The result leaves something to be wished for.

Alright, push him then.

Swashmebuckle goes first in attempts to knock the second witch elf down

That's a push.

Rakclaw is next on the line, and that's two pushes

Black Knight moves to stop the elves from switching sides

And our wall-o-orc looks like this for the end of Turn #3

Elf turn #4

The scoring threat just laughs at our petty attempts at arresting him.

A blitzer blocks Scotty



Nice. Scotty goes down with a one die block. Will they escape our clutches this turn?

Unfortunately, they had to attempt a one die block against Mad Max. It didn't go well for them


Our turn #4

Did someone say punch buffet?  :drevil:

Scourge blocks first the ball carrier

The witch goes down! The ball scatters next to the border!

Scotty rolls a push once again. He pushes the guy on the ball.

The does a lengthy scatter, and ends up next to the recently downed witch elf.

Mammothtank continues next with a block, attempting to push the elf Blitzer out of the pitch. Unfortunately, this was the fella who had Side Step. He literally side steps Mammoths push.

Black Knight moves in to tighten the loop

Blackbelt attempts to knock down the Witch elf again. No such luck today.

Swashmebuckle finally nails the direct hit

Yay, the witch is down!

Rakclaw moves in to assist the SNAFU at left hand side.

Srihag reaches the runaway once again

"You ain't passing us without a dodge check, pal!"

Black Dynamite blocks the assassin





Well, that Fear Maker met his maker

Black Dynamite levels up too

Spoon goes to assist the cage break up on the right hand side. Just get your ass over there troll, Guard is needed!

Mad Max makes it harder to escape skimming the border

And that's our turn #4.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 19, 2016, 01:05:24 pm
HLPBowlers vs Lighting Hearts (Dark Elves), Game 20, Second quarter (Turns 5-8)

Hidden Text: Show
Elf turn #5

You know the reason why Witch Elves are annoying? It's because they have Jump Up skill, meaning that even if you knock them down, their movement is not reduced.

This one jumps up and picks up the ball from a tackle zone. Easy.

The next jump up blitzes Scourge

Who was apparently completely unaware that something like that could happen


Then there's the desperation block


And it gets Scotty too

We see one line elf escaping the clutches of several of our players. Come on guys!

Our turn #5

Black Dynamite reinforces the fighting match going on in the right hand side

Black Knight runs into action by blocking one hopeful down

Blackbelt pushes another

Mammothtank goes next


and stuns the elf

Spoon attempts a turnover with this block

Close your eyes folk, this is gonna be a re-roll!


What do you know, Spoon isn't hampered by Loner either this time.


Beware of Spoon's wrist!


You know, it would have been far more useful had you done this in the first games than in the last ones!

And finally, Mad Max skulls the crowd surf attempt

Dangit!  :hopping:  :hopping:


Elf turn #6

They seem to be regrouping their forces as well

However, the one die blitz doesn't seem to work well



So Scourge goes down.

So does Scotty

Stoopid lucky one die blocks

However, it is at this point when they simply ran out of elves. Note the prone players lying on the ground preventing the access behind our lines.

Our turn #6

Scotty blitzes first. The blitzer has to go back.

A push is good enough in this case

Check it out, the Elves are in 2x3 block, all they way to the pitch border.  :drevil:

So Black Knight starts the blocking.






So they broke his hip!  :lol:

Yes, the Apothecary re-examines the patient

But this doctor agrees with the former one, it's a clear broken hip bone. The injured player will never be as fast as he used to be.

Now, what actually happened there? The Black Knight's punch actually stunned the player he hit, but this became a chain push which pushed the guy nearest to the border out, and it was the crowd who injured him. Note that it was also a prone elf who went out. Nasty game ain't it? Being prone doesn't protect you from chain pushes or from fouling.

Swashmebuckle runs in to capitalize on the possible ball scatter

Blackbelt moves to participate in the siege of elves

Black Dynamite makes it sure nobody will escape through the gaps

Srihag catches once again the fella who ran away.

Then Spoon takes a three die block. Come on you only need a push!


The witch is out! The witch is out from this game!


And she's Badly Hurt

Black Dynamite reinforces the top right corner of our siege ring

And Rakclaw does so too

That's our turn #6. Pretty awesome turn if you ask me. It could have only been better had the crowdsurfs been done with frenzied players, but alas.

Elf turn #7. Seeing a definite lack of players, eh?

The guy at the score line runs away once again. Luckily we reinforced the siege ring so that passes and breakthrough are quite impossible

Rakclaw then gets blocked, it's a three dice against block, first I've seen

Needless to say, push was selected.

And they ran out of actions. Our turn #7

Black Knight blocks once again

Black Dynamite pushes next

Rakclaw closes the escape route from pushes, from this point on they are going to get crowdsurfed if anyone manages a push

Swashmebuckle blocks, but this guy had side step. He falls down one square away from the border.

Scourge moves in to add some muscle to that corner

Scotty, anticipating a ball loss event, runs to scoring range.

And Blackbelt goes to foul!

It's probably not nice to be on the receiving end of Black Orc whacking you down with his bare hands.

Quick! The ref didn't notice!  :drevil:

Srihag catches the guy at the score line once again

That's our turn #7

Elf turn #8

The guy at the score line escapes Srihag. Again!


Then we get a lucky two die against block

That knocks Black Dynamite down.

And it's our turn #8

Black Knight pushes

Spoon moves to guard

And Mammothtank blitzes the ball carrier


Here we actually take Both Down as the witch has Wrestle, meaning this wont be a turn over. The ball scatters out of bounds, and the audience kicks it very close to the opposition score line : :lol:  :lol:

Swashmebuckle blocks as he is sort of out of the scoring game

Nice Orcidas boots you got there, mister

And Scotty takes the opportunity, and runs for the ball

He scooooooores!


And it's half time!


I didn't realize we had already removed 5 of their players

But the knocked out guy comes back for the next half.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Scotty on September 19, 2016, 01:25:47 pm
Wooooo, getting **** done!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 19, 2016, 04:03:23 pm
haha, not a lot left of the elf team  :lol:

When a player gets injured by getting shoved off the field, does that still grant SSP to the one that pushed?
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 20, 2016, 05:15:50 pm
haha, not a lot left of the elf team  :lol:

When a player gets injured by getting shoved off the field, does that still grant SSP to the one that pushed?

No, SPPs are always granted to the person doing the injuring, which in this case would be the crowd. I bet the crowd  is enjoying their hard earned SPPs in the booze tent next to the border that HLPBowlers set up for them (crowd surf injury rolls +1). That tent offering cheap bad tasting strong moonshine is of course only valid on our home turf.
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 21, 2016, 01:01:53 pm
HLPBowlers vs Lighting Hearts (Dark Elves), Third quarter (turns 9-12)

Hidden Text: Show

We can finally start a proper offensive drive, deployment as usual.

It's a kick (yeah the dark elves are born taekwondokas, that's a aerial spinning reverse kick that just hit the ball)

They get perfect defense, but apparently their defense was already perfect

You know the story at this point, everybody gathers around the ball and then we block

Scourge makes a new acquaintance, the witch elf

It's just that the witch is skilled in wrestling, and does have jump up that prompted Scourge to wisely select push instead.

Blackbelt has the same problem of rolling turn over or a push.

Black Knight here is slightly more lucky, he gets to knock one elf down since he can't wrestle or block.

Scotty provides our blitz

Knocks the elf down and runs to assist

Black Dynamite then takes the last line of defense down

Mammoth closes the blitzing gap - or attempts to do so. Spoon, don't even think about it!

And that's our turn #9

Elf turn #9

We get a blitz near the ball! The witch elf assists!

Mokcrak goes down, allowing access to Swashmebuckle. Luckily the blitz is already spent

Scotty takes this one, but he's fine

And one dude reinforces the area where elves surround Scotty. Don't ask.

This time, Blackbelt not only pays attention, but also serves it with a fist!


No re-roll!


Our turn #10

Scourge moves to assist

Srihag closes the cage in case this something goes horribly wrong.

Swashmebuckle moves to assist (D'oh on this movement)

And enraged Mad Max blitzes the elf blitzer. Get rid of him! Push him at least!

Yay us! The Orcish Horde shows its strength once again


I'm, of course, being sarcastic.

Spoon, try to scare crap out of that elf!

Mammoth blocks him again, but no dice - that elf just wont go down!

Black Knight then knocks the recently risen elf back to the ground
"And stay there!"

Blackbelt pushes

And Dynamite pushes

Seriously, what's wrong with you guys? You were doing so well on the first half!

Scotty creates a diversion in the opposition back field.

You know Scotty, this has usually netted a massive kill squad after the player. You sure you want to do this?

And that's our turn #10.

Elf turn #10

Well they did send a massive kill squad after Scotty. Even blitzed him! (Why AI why?)

Scotty stubbornly remains on his feet. At least we ain't getting knocked down either. It's just that our strategy relies more on that happening than the elves'.


Then we get one escaping the proximity of the ball, while the witch elf has moved to threaten our flank.

That's it from their part this time.

Our turn #11

You know, as much as I like witch elves (when I play Dark Elves), this one has gotta go. Mokcrak, provide assist!

Srihag, it's your show! This witch elf doesn't have sidestep so you are cleared to push her out!



She's knocked out. Good.

Swashmebuckle picks up the ball

He succeeds, so you already know that the cage will inevitably follow (with bash teams that is)

Spoon manages to take a step forwards this time

Black Knight is successfully tying three elf players, and knocks the dude without block or wrestle down, third time's the charm!

And Scotty dodges away

What? He made it! That's pre-posterous!

And so ends our Turn #11. Prepare for the inevitable cage grind to their half.

Elf turn #11

Scotty attracts the opposition like thirsty people attract vultures in the desert!

Whoa, that dude just abandoned his post in front of our cage!

Apparently, the opposition coach realized his mistake one second later, and fixes it by sending another player to fill in the only guard station.

This is probably to prevent us from throwing the ball to Scotty and thys scoring

Another player reinforces the station in our path. No matter

And Scotty gets blitzed


He is just down. No prob, boss. This one was a very successful ruse (for the AI, I doubt any human would have done that)

Our turn #12

Blackbelt attempts to remove the pesky Elf blitzer, but he's once again just pushing him. However, this led to another block by Black Dynamite, who didn't miss.

Now, will Spoon spearhead our advance and provide a formidable cage corner?

He does!  :lol: So the ball follows

And the cage followed

Oh, that's Black Knight knocking down the elf for the fourth time. This time it's a stun.

The twelth turn ends to a position like this

Elf turn #12.

I suppose they just realized that oh crap, the ball was south, not on Scotty!



But they just couldn't resist the temptation of leaving Scotty alone

Mammothtank gets blitzed

Uh uh, this might be bad, it's a direct hit

It wasn't that bad. He just fell down. Then the last lineman runs away

And that's their turn #12.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 21, 2016, 01:59:49 pm
HLPBowlers vs Lighting Hearts (Dark Elves), Final Quarter (turns 13-16)

Hidden Text: Show
Roight, it's our turn #13
Srihag takes a block against the pesky elf. He could actually take two blocks, but this time one was enough.

Disappointingly, this aerial departure resulted only in to a stun.

Scourge here attempts to lose us the game


Yeah, that's better.

It would have been even better had you injured that elf.

Mad Max then closes the left hand bottom corner of the forming cage

And the ball follows soon afterwards

Everything being closed up, Spoon blocks

And Mammoth blitzes from the ground



But it's still just a stun.

Our 13th ends with us being in a closed group formation.

Elf turn #13

We do see a bunch of running




But I just don't see the point why the elves would like to get into contact with Orcs. Especially if we outnumber them.

Blackbelt is blitzed

But eh, that's nothing, especially with a one die.

And it's our Turn #14

The unshaken Blackbelt pushes the blitzer away

Black Dynamite clears the path on the right hand side

Scotty gets to pay back some of the bruises he got deep in the opponent side


It's a knock down. Bruise from bruise, eh?

Scourge becomes the new top right hand man orc in the cage

The ball follows, as do the rest

Srihag runs in to provide assistance

So Mad Max blocks the pesky side stepping and fending line elf

Just wrestle him down. I want him prone for the next turn!

Spoon excels here in double pushes

And that's our #14 turn there.

Elf turn #14

They are regrouping to our front again!

Then again, they could be trying to remove Mammoth from the pitch



Or run away from him

Not really seeing the point here elves!

Our turn #15

This guy found himself between two black orcs. That's not good for your career!

Scourge pushes this guy away

Mammoth blocks the blitzer who blitzed him. He just doesn't like to get blitzed from behind


Alright Mammoth, I think you've made your point!

Scotty blitzes then. That dodge, you know elf, doesn't help you here!


Scotty goes further up to catch another elf in his tackle zone

The ball handling you can probably imagine

Black Knight closes the blitzing gap

The rest of the turn is about making history. Or making history of our opponent.


That wrodge didn't help against Srihag either.

Spoon gets a three die

Sadly, no injuries, knock outs or stuns resulted.

Our #15 ends here to this position.

Elf turn #15

We see some regrouping, but I believe most of their players are just too far away.


Mad Max is blitzed

But that's nothing.

Wonder what's the point of this then?

And it's our turn #16.

We of course, want to leave something as a goodbye gift for the elves.


That's a bruise from us, and the elf is stunned

Scourge blitzes, and manages a push

He moves to aid Spoon

And Mammoth closes the gap

Scotty runs

Swashmebuckle follows

The fact that orcs pass in a game against elves is of course an insult towards elves.

Swashmebuckle succeeds in passing

Scotty fumbles the ball! Yes, re-roll!




The attrition happened only on the first half, we didn't get anybody out on the second

And we have the standard defensive play, no witch elves around this time.

We kick

And it's a blitz! For us!

Who would we like to kill today?

Srihag attempts to rid the world of this elf

It's a clean hit, but no injury

Our back up line then takes one step forwards

And our blitz is over

Elf turn #16



Hey, leave Scourge alone!

They manage to pick up the ball just in front of everybody's nose

And there comes the blitz against Scourge

Scourge probably is laughing at this point

"Dat da best you can do elvies?"

We see somebody running

And somebody attempting a breakthrough


Today really wasn't the dark elves' finest hour


Click here for the match outcome
Hidden Text: Show

Our MVP is Trak

We got quite a load of SPPs from this game - including pass

And that's our roster after the match.

Congratulations, Black Dynamite and Scotty leveled up!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 21, 2016, 02:04:53 pm
Click here to see Black Dynamite's level up
Hidden Text: Show

That's a normal roll, so he gets something useful (no Mighty Blow this time)
It's gonna be Guard!


Click here to see Scotty's level up
Hidden Text: Show

He rolls 11! Ooooh, that's a tough one! More agile Blitzer (so that he could pick up the ball and escape tackle zones more reliably) with AG+, or do we settle for something else?


No, the opposition shall fear you piling on them!

This is the current HLPBowlers roster

Our most expensive players are Mammothtank and Swashmebuckle, with Scotty and Srihag trailing behind
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 23, 2016, 12:48:01 pm
Today we are mostly punching elves

HLPBowlers vs Vicious Hydras (Dark Elves), Game 21, First quarter (turns 1-4), In the name of turnovers...

Hidden Text: Show

Vicious Hydras eh? Well, they do have two witch elves and an assassin, so perhaps the team name refers to that?

We are seeing some inducements against us, Eldril Sidewinder and an extra re-roll. Could be worse.

To refresh your memory, Eldril is the dude who looks like this

And as usual, against elves, we kick the ball

The defensive formation against dark elves is again employed. You just gotta be on the lookout for those frenzied witch elves

We kick

To see that the weather will remain nice. Nice.

The elves advance, and one of their first actual actions against us is a stab. That pesky assassin is gunna get it if he keeps on poking Black Dynamite like that.

The witch elf fails the pickup on their score line, and it gets re-rolled. Successfully. Lucky for us, she lacks movement to bring the ball closer.

Then we see their blitz

Which takes down Scotty. Get your ass back on the line Orc!

Then there's an attempted escape from Blackbelt Jones. It gets tackled.


Our turn #1

Seems quite good at the moment

Left flank, advance and get into contact with those elves. You too Spoon!

He actually does that. Mad Max follows in Spoon's trail, enjoying the guarded area the troll provides.

Black Knight also advances to get into contact with right flank. Uncommonly, it's Swashmebuckle who delivers our blitz this turn

This being a true "Yikes! And away" blitz, Swashmebuckle then does a tactical retreat to the middle of the pitch.

And Srihag takes his place as a guardian of the right flank

Trak moves in to assist, and Black Dynamite blocks



Black Dynamite blocks!

Well that was a re-roll well-spent!


Our first turn looks like this

Elf turn #2

There's the breakthrough attempt...

whch, thanks to Scotty, remains an attempt


No re-roll!


Our turn #2

The dynamic duo Scotty and Srihag gather around this hapless elf. You know what happens with this setup don't you?




It's a stun

Swashmebuckle fills in a gap on the left hand side, and Trak gets close to the right hand witch elf. Then it's time for Scourge to start blocking

Mad Max takes down this massively mobile line elf

And Spoon, well, you know...

Well at least he took the elf with him


Elf turn #3

They start their turn with half of their players prone. Well done, I'm proud of you boyz!

They naturally stand up.

This one die blitz got Srihag, that blitzer had tackle, so unusually, Srihag's dodge doesn't help

Eldril side winds his way to our scoring range. We probably gotta do something about this guy.

The ball comes closer, it is inside our blitzing range!

The elf turn is ended with a failed dodge from Black Dynamite


Our turn #3

Naturally, we take first care of the ball. Everything else is secondary

Swashmebuckle goes to annoy Eldril. This is a safe move so it's OK.

Black Knight blitzes

And ah-ha! The witch doesn't have wrestle or block, so we take both down which means that the witch goes down.

He moves in to sandwich the ball next to the pitch

Scotty blocks this elf blitzer, but being as skilled as the blitzer is, it's just a push. Scotty moves up.

Srihag: "Scotty did WAT??!!!"

Here's a clean block from the center of the pitch, delivered by Mad Max

Blackbelt delivers too

And Scourge pushes this elf towards the left border line. Mammoth moves in to guard the position Scourge left open.

Trak runs to block the Southern access to the ball

He makes it without dodge. Unusual, it's has a mere 67 % probability of success which tends to mean a turnover.


That's our turn #3. Ain't gonna be easy to steal that ball!

Elf turn #4

The blitzed witch stands up, but remains on her position.

This is the point where Eldril realized that Srihag was alone next to the pitch border. It's a blitz!

Srihag: "I hate you Scotty!"


Ah, I do believe we are going to apo this one.

That strain was apparently a misdiagnosis, and Srihag will be able to join our drive after a break.

Being outnumbered, Scotty is now an easy block. He goes down. The thing is, Srihag and Scotty have prevented the opposition from sending players towards the ball. I.e. both of them were doing their job by tying up opposition players. As does Swashmebuckle.

And here's a runner too

That's the end of their #4 turn.

We start by getting rid of the witch. Black Dynamite takes Defender Stumbles (POW + !), and since the witch has dodge, this is a push. But she's pushed in front of Black Knight.

So nobody is surprised when Black Knight continues the block by punching her out to the crowd


She will play again, but won't be pestering us anymore in this game oh no.

Spoon moves to assist and generally to be an annoyance. After this it's blocking time!

Blackbelt scores a perfect hit on this fella. Where's your dodge now, pal?  :lol:

Since the side line blitzer escaped Scourge, he re-acquires that player

Mammoth blitzes the guys with speedy legs (and nothing else)

Yes, you can jump on him!


Mad Max shifts to the right hand side as we are starting to run out of elves to punch in the middle. He takes even one go for it to close the access to Trak


Swashmebuckle, demonstrate your dodge ability to the elves. They are not the only ones who can do that!

Trak, pick it up!

No no no no, I said PICK IT UP!



That's the end of our turn #4.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 23, 2016, 01:36:55 pm
HLPBowlers vs Vicious Hydras (Dark Elves), Game 21, Second Quarter (Turns 5-8)

Hidden Text: Show
The elves seem to be interested of the ball for the first time in two turns.

Of course, they could not pass up the opportunity of smacking Swashmebuckle down.

Nope, Swashmebuckle is a slippery eel, and that doesn't affect him.

They re-roll??!!


Well whatever  :lol:

A blitzer contacts Mad Max

And of course, we get the obligatory dodge away from Scourge. He really tends to scare the opposition!

Our turn #5

The ball must advance. Otherwise, there's no Bowl in Blood Bowl. Only Blood. Black Knight blitzes the roadblock away.

And advances!

As do the rest Dynamite and Trak.

Well, that's about the important stuff done. I guess there's nothing else this turn but smacking the opposition. Good.
Blackbelt brings the pain

Correction, he took away all the pain

Permanently even. With this lucky block that separated the jaw bone from the skull, he also levels up!

Scourge pursues the opposition relentlessly

Scourge: "Ya can run but ya cannae hide"

And Mad Max causes a turnover right here


Elf turn #6

They finally got the point that the ball is lost and advancing towards their half, not ours  :lol:

Eldril gazes Mammoth, and it doesn't take long until Mammoth is gone

"Trussssst in me, jussssst in me!"

Swashmebuckle absorbs the blitz action this turn



But it's just a stun

Mad Max's target blitzer takes advantage of the gap in our lines, and runs away

Uh, Scotty was apparently there as well

It's a re-roll!

I don't like the way they are bunching up around Mammothtank

Our turn #6

Mad Max runs to assist

Scourge takes care of his half of the pitch
"You ain't runnin' away from me humie!"

Black Knight punches the attaching type away towards Black Dynamite

Who then blocks too

Not particularly impressive. Because of this we cannot advance the cage. On the other hand, the thing is, the cage doesn't need to move any further.

Blackbelt circles around his new prey

Spoon, I know you are alone, but could you please move to support our guys bunched up just there?

Spoon!  :mad: :hopping:  :banghead:

Well, we take what we can, and Scotty starts blocking. We don't have re-rolls

Mammothtank takes a one die block here



That's certainly useful!

Our turn #6 ends in a side line cage on the right border, and a big cluster fu... fumble next to it

Elf turn #7

Ah yes, please do go next to the troll!

Oh, Eldril could easily take out one cage player by hypnotizing him. Dangit!

Then they clear the way by knocking Mad Max down

The witch elf blocks Scotty

She's frenzied, so there's more where it came from

But that was not too impressive either.

Our turn #7

Swashmebuckle can finally join back to the game! Yay!

C'mon boyz, take that witch down!
Block 1 (Mammoth)

Block 2 (Blackbelt)

Block 3 (Spoon)

... you got lucky this time!

Black Dynamite wakes up from the hypnosis and pushes Eldril away

Block 4 (Scotty)

Nope. She ain't going down today. That's our turn #7.

Elf turn #8

That's Mad Max or Mammoth getting hypnotized. That Eldril is really trying my patience

Then there's the last ditch effort to blitz Trak

It's of course just a push.

Then we get our own Col. Runaway here.

That's it.

Our turn #8.

Swashmebuckle runs closer to where da action is

I'm sure he doesn't get singled out after been lying prone next to half of the period...

Now, there was a blitzer who was getting too close to our ball carrier. Black Dynamite, you go first!


Good. Now Trak is free to score. However, I'm sort of the opinion that we should respect Scourge's attempts to keep the opposition blitzer at bay for the whole half. He gets to blitz him!

Crowd surfing is fun, but this time the elven armor holds
Scourge: "Next time Gadget, next time!"

We don't take further risks in trying to hurt opposition. That one score is more important, so Trak runs it in



Yeah, do the gorilla!

Oh, and it's half time!


Well, there's still an attrition rate

Good work boyz!

Their KOd dudes get back. Unfortunate, but that's life

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 23, 2016, 02:41:28 pm
HLPBowlers vs Vicious Hydras (Dark Elves), Game 21, Third quarter (Turns 9-12)

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We start with more spread offensive formation, witch elves be damned. The probability they roll blitz is small enough that it's a risk I'm willing to take.

And that probability remained low. We get an extra re-roll, which is always nice.

Well, the ball landed in a way that requires some intermediate screening

Blackbelt, knock down that elf! Our next move depends on it!

Mad Max blitzes, and Scourge assists

That lineman is surfing and get's KO'd!

Mad Max returns to save himself from a counter surf

Scourge moves upfield to annoy the elf there. He also happens to prevent access to our left hand flank by doing that. Pick whichever reason works better for you!

Mammoth blocks this guy

It's a stun!

Yes, jump on him too! Jump on him vewy woughly!

The stun remains.

Black Dynamite here blocks the witch elf. You know, the one we couldn't drop in the first half

Oh, it seems her luck just ran out!


She'll be sleeping for pretty much the rest of the game

Scotty isn't as impressive now

Swashmebuckle goes pick up the ball

And moves away from any possible blitzes

Finally, Black Knight takes this block against a blodge blitzer

Our turn #9 ends in a line abreast formation at LoS and with a deep screen in front of the ball carrier.

Elf turn #9

The blitzer moves back towards the center

The other moves in front of Spoon. There's already a player in front of Spoon, but Spoon didn't do anything last turn. Reason being, had he skulled, it would have been trivial to seep a couple of players towards our ball carrier.

The one immediately next to Spoon blitzes Scourge

Scourge: "Hehe that tickles" (Scourge takes block no 1)

And then we get yet another dodge to fill in the right hand side gaps

That's the elf turn #9

Swashmebuckle runs the ball closer, but lacks the movement range to be totally safe

Our former ball front screen is now the back cage, and our front line (Scotty, Mammoth) is now the front line of the cage. Confused? Good!

Black Knight moves in to take away that one die block possibility against Black Dynamite

Blackbelt takes one block. He honestly now just wants to hurt the elves. Well it does allow Mad Max to blitz next, but who cares about that?

He does the one die blitz to assist Scourge. Scourge shall not fall there!

... and knocks out Eldril! Well done Mad Max!

He goes a couple of steps further, and moves in to assist Scourge's blocks. Even if it took go for its, but we are feelin' lucky today.

Scourge blocks next, but this dude has dodge.

You know what? We have four re-rolls, so let's try that again!

Black Dynamite is getting frustrated here with the dodge skill. That's two pushes right there

This is the end result of our 10th turn

Elf turn #10

We get a two die block against Black Knight

Whatever it is, the elves must be feeling even luckier than us today. Given the immediate possibility of a turnover, that does get re-rolled.

Saved by Both Down eh? Then the opposition focuses their attention on Blackbelt, who goes down in this blitz.

And that's their turn #10.

Our turn #11

It's obvious that Swashmebuckle moves ahead near Spoon. The stronger the guarder the better.

Hey dumbass, move your ass to da left bottom corner!

Spoon actually does, and we get a nice cage straight in the middle of the pitch, splitting the elf lines in half.

Scourge takes another block at the dodgy elf, but it's a push nevertheless

Mad Max then blitzes the same dude. And since it's Mad Max, we get two rounds of blocks. Total of three attempts, let's see if he goes down this time


Very well, have it your way then.

The right hand black boyz deal with the elves too. Black Knight throws a dud block, it's that dodge that's hampering us.

Black Dynamite follows with equally poor results. Two pushes right there.

Our 11th turn ends with our players being centrally available, and the elf defensive line being in shambles.

Elf turn #11 sees a blitz against Mad Max

That won't do anything! Re-rolled!

Well, neither does that  :drevil:

Then starts the shuffle the card deck operation from the opposition. I'm not sure what they want to accomplish with these moves, but alright.




Say, that's quite a lot of dodges right there

Which is ended either by Dynamite or Knight


Our turn #12

Spoon, move ahead!

Really? Just one step!

Since our biggest muscle seems to be sucking his thumb this turn, we extend towards right

Swashmebuckle and the Monkees follow

This blitz is offered to you by Bloodweiser. Mammothtank pushes

Pushes? NO way! Re-roll!


Not then.

Scourge takes the sprinter down. Again

Blackbelt pushes

And Mad Max does two pushes in a row


So much for that bruising then.

Our twelth turn ends in a right hand cage, and smackdown in the left

Elf turn #12

Mad Max goes down

Oh, somebody is interested in the ball too!

The rest run to positions, but in front of to left hand bunch, not attempting to block the right hand ball cage's advance  :confused:

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 23, 2016, 03:25:43 pm
HLPBowlers vs Vicious Hydras (Dark Elves), Game 21, Final Quarter (turns 13-16)

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Mammothtank blitzes the guy hanging out next to our cage. A push would be sufficient here, and push we get.

Unsurprisingly when the big and stocky black orc has been freed to move, the cage goes forwards. As much as they can, which is determined by the movement speed of the Black Orcs

The rest will mostly be about smacking the elves right dab in da middle of da eyes. Yes and Spoon manages to move again. The guard is important!

So that Scourge gets a three die block

That blitzer has been a pain


Well, he is out for the next turn at least.

Blackbelt moves in to make it harder to dodge away from our smackdown group

Our turn #13 ends with the cage being deep in the opposition end

Elf turn #13

This lone player suddenly realizes that the orcs can score next turn. He moves towards the cage, but is simply too far away to actually reach it.

Mok Crak is blitzed. I'm still puzzled why him and not the cage corners, but oh well.

Our 14th turn starts with, ahem, shall we say, strong position. That wont stop us from stalling the game, though.


And it's smackdown once again!


Hmm, have I seen this movie before?

Disappointingly, it's a stun. Not what I was looking for after that mean lookin' cut scene!

Here's two inconsequential blocks by Mad Max

Bloody blodging sons of witches...

Given the lack of anything to block, Spoon moves once again

Finally, Mammoth takes a risky one die block. It's a wrestler, so no harm done getting prone

Speaking about getting prone, now that it was a clear hit and a stun, why don't you jump on him?

Still a stun. That's our turn #14.

Elf turn #14

We seem to be getting pushes

The nerve! They attempt to block Spoon with two dices against them!


No such luck today, pal!

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol: Spoon levels up because of this!

The blodging blitzer is badly hurt and will not be seen in this game any more

Good boy Spoon!


Our turn #15
Scourge blocks the blodge blitzer. I know. It's hard to hit him!

Given the numbers advantage, Blackbelt gets a three die block against the very same blitzer

He is prone! The slippery eel is finally on the ground!

Mad Max blitzes to bring this elf closer to the players providing the well-earned smacking

The guy goes down, and Mad Max isn't able to bring him closer. Pity.

When ever there are bones a' cracking, you can bet you can find Mammothtank somewhere near!

Spoon re-positions once again, providing difficult dodges for anyone unfortunate enough to be in the middle

Given the amount of annoyance that blodge blitzer has caused, Mok Crak greets him. With his boot!

Yea, look at that hay maker!

The dude is finally out from the pitch! And the ref didn't even see it  :drevil:

Remember that one elf who came near the cage? Well, he gets company! From no-one else but Scotty and Black Dynamite!

Our 15th turn ends in this position. The only elf remaining standing is the guy next to the score line  :lol:

Elf turn #15

They seem to be getting closer to Mad Max?

Then the guy next to the cage decides this might start to hurt soon if he doesn't move

It's just that Scotty was waiting for this move, and tackles him fair and square (real orcs do it with arms only, none of that silly leg tackle stuff!)


Nope, not this time elf. You ain't safe here!


It's our turn #16

Given our lead and available re-roll, we take some fun blocks before scoring

Mok Crak moves next to Spoon to instruct him to move. Spoon moves once again.

Mad Max then gets two blocks in

Being a thrower and partially responsible for safe handling of the ball, Swashmebuckle throws the ball to Srihag!

Who catches it on the first attempt (now that's a first!), and scores!

The attrition is still taking place here

Two KOs come back, so they can possibly have maximum of 8 players on the pitch. Probably less, I don't think they had a full roster.

Given that there ain't no witches here, we are once again in wider defensive formation

The final kick comes here

It goes high

And we get a cage next to our black orcs. I don't mind

Dynamite suffers the last block, and goes down. No injuries or KOs, though

And we win 2-0!

Click here for the match outcome

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We get 40 grand, just what we were short of 400K. Good!

Scotty is the Most Valuable Player

The SPPs are delivered in spades. Half of our team earned SPPs!

Now that we have extra cash that's bloating our team value (2000+), I want to get rid of it so that we look more trim again. We invest in a bigger stadium.


This is the HLPBowlers roster after the match. Spoon and Trak level up! Congratulations!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 23, 2016, 03:34:48 pm
Click here to see Spoon's level up
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We start from this


Roll the dice

It's not a double. Dangit, Spoon will remain a blocking risk, and will require assists to get three dices whenever possible.

He gets the Stand Firm skill, making him well rooted on the square he is occupying.

Click here for Blackbelt's level up

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So Blackbelt, our most decorated Black Orc, get's a level up

Let the dice roll!

A normal level up too.

Between tackle and guard, Blackbelt gets Guard

Click here to see Trak's level up

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So this line orc has learned enough to level up

And this is too a normal level roll

He get's the normal block skill

Trak's now closer to our beginning blitzers, except he doesn't have as much movement.

Remeber Rakclaw, our niggled line orc? I'm sorry to say this Rakclaw, but I'm going to have to let you go. Team, say farewell to Rakclaw. He won't be able to keep up with the rest of us with that injury of his.


Our next match will be against dorfs. Relatively well developed dorfs with Mighty Blow and Guard it seems. This might become painful!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Spoon on September 23, 2016, 03:44:43 pm
Good boy Spoon!
Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 25, 2016, 08:36:25 am
Today's match up is against the Black Anvils, a successful dorf team in the Top 5 of the tournament. This match has potential for catastrophical loss where several of our players are injured. But the Armor Value 9 is what we trust.

HLPBowlers vs Black Anvils (Dwarfs), Game 22, First Quarter (Turns 1-4)

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Thankfully, their team composition doesn't include the Deathroller. Otherwise they do have four players with Mighty Blow, and five players with Guard! That's gotta be against the rules or something! And yes, the dorfs really do love their beer.


The team value difference is not very high, so they only get to hire Barik, a Dwarf star player

We are playing on their turf, so the stadium is not very impressive to say the least.

Barik is the dude with a red eye. Our intelligence doesn't reveal whether that's glass, ruby or something else valuable.

With dorfs, we do want to start with an offense. This maximizes our chances of getting rid of their players, and minimizes our chances of losing them. In principle.

It's once again the meatwall line abreast formation that we start from.

We get a kick (does kicking look easy to you in that outfit?)

And we get a Quick Snap kick off event

Thus we get in close contact to the opposition on both flanks. Our objective: crowd surf as many of the little bastards as possible.

We make the ball principally safe. Well at least one person is looking at it, and the dorfs can't run far with those stubby little feet of theirs!

You know that time is it kids! It's blocking time! Scourge, get rid of that dorf!

I apparently misplaced our blitzers, Mad Max should have been front, and this could have been a crowd surf without a blitz action. Especially now that Scourge knocked that one dorf down. Then again, the right hand side looked a bit more juicier...

Black Knight clears the way for Srihag and Scotty

Uh, Knight, that's not good enough! Get the dorf down! Re-roll!


Oh well then

Blackbelt here rolls a push and Both Down. At this point, most players start to have block or tackle, so Both Down tends to be negated

Black Dynamite here demonstrates what happens to Trollslayers that get too close.

They go prone!

Mammothtank blocks the guard blitzer here

No injury. Jump on it!

Aragorn girn seems to be stunned as a result. Good enough I guess for this turn.

Since Knight failed to knock down this one dorf, Srihag is now forced to take a risky one die block against a dorf.

It's unfortunately a direct hit, and no crowdsurf results. The dorf is not even stunned by the fall.

Swashmebuckle picks up the ball, and runs it in the middle


The reason why this is safe is because the dorfs are not known for their agility, and their both flanks are also down. They can only reach Swashmebuckle by rolling over Spoon and the cronies.

Speaking of Spoon, he makes a three die block here

Our first turn is not a smashing success, but it isn't a failure either. Yes, we failed to punch through the dorf lines, and we failed to reduce their numbers. However, they'll have problems blocking us as quite a lot of their LoS players are now prone.

Dorf turn #1

As expected, a significant fraction of their players are just standing up, and their back up row also engages more in the smackdown of the middle part

Here's the obligatory blitz


And that dorf by nature has Tackle, so Srihag's dodge wont help him here.

We also see an attempt to knock down Black Knight

That didn't seem to work so they re-roll!

Yes, that is a skull oh yeah.


Our turn #2

Unsurprisingly Swashmebuckle moves first to the safety of the front line

And that's a neat cage right in the middle of the pitch

Black Knight here then blitzes in attempt to release Scotty and Srihag


Yea that runner goes down.

Scotty blocks the line dorf next

Even with some extra piling on, the Dorf remains conscious

Then we have to focus our attention in the center, where Black Dynamite makes another three die block

That trollslayer got knocked down. Man these dorfs are resilient!

Finally, Mad Max blocks a line dorf

But since he has frenzy, he also has to commit the second block. Which turns out to be a skull!



Nope. Bad idea to begin with.


Dorf turn #2

Since Scotty is prone, this long beard seizes the moment, and blitzes Srihag, taking two Go For Its in the process. Scotty seems to screw over Srihag occasionally with his Piling On!





However, Srihag is OK. He will return to the pitch after a break. That blitzer needs Side Step badly!

Black Knight also gets tankarded

As does Mammothtank

Our turn #3
Yeah, that mistake of leaving Scotty down cost us Srihag and possibly Black Knight too. We do not have extra players to spare that could assist them, so you are on your own guys!

Here we have Blackbelt Jones blocking the Trollslayer. Who just doesn't want to go down. It's a push so that the cage can at least advance

Black Dynamite pushes this guy away so that the movement can commence

Spoon, would you kindly move?

He does! So the rest of the cage can follow, and the Black boyz that did the first pushes are now the back part of the cage

Black Knight blitzes the dorf runner. Perhaps there's a way out of this after all

...if he just rolled properly!

Great, so now the runner also humiliates Black Knight by knocking him out!


Dorf turn #3

The dorfs concentrate their players on the cage side lines. The front part is relatively unguarded with just two players, but it's the fact that we don't have extra players at the moment...

Like the sharks preying the weak and alone, the dorfs pounce on our unskilled line orc

Who luckily resists this blitz.

Then we see a two die against block against Black Dynamite

No potential for turnover there, so we get pushed further away from the cage.

Scourge gets blocked here too

He remains standing, grinning at the opposition. But there's more of that where it came from! The block is re-rolled!

And Scourge is still grinning, but remember that the trollslayer blocks twice!

Scourge is still standing after three consecutive blocks against him!

Our turn #4

Black Dynamite takes control of the rear part of the cage

Scourge levels this unlucky trollslayer that tried to knock him down thrice!

"See, that's how you do eet!"

Spoon takes a three die block against this long beard


He manages to injure that long beard!

It's a Badly Hurt long beard, we wont be seeing him again in this game

Scotty blitzes to provide some assistance for the cage

It's a knock down!

In attempt to remove that player, he also jumps on him

The situation at the end of this turn reminds me of a deserted island circled by sharks

Dorf turn #4

Given the amount of smackdown we gave them last turn, there aren't a lot of attacks coming to our way. A blitz was mounted against Scourge, who this time falls for it

But no follow-up was possible, so that's the situation we find ourselves in the next turn.

Title: Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Post by: Mika on September 25, 2016, 09:28:23 am
HLPBowlers vs Black Anvils (Dwarfs), Game 22, Turns (5-8), They roll over us!

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Okay, so Scourge has to take back the place he just lost. He blitzes the trollslayer away

It's a push, and in attempt to make some maneuvering room, he also moves forwards to guard three dorfs