I must be a genius or something. Thought this up during one particularly dull class, where there was easy access to both office chairs and wooden dowels.
Rules for Olympic -Style Roller Chair Jousting
1. Chairs must be of regulation size and of roughly comparable quality. None of those huge-ass chairs that look like they could house a fair-sized Mexican family, and if one player's wheels are liable to fall off in mid-charge, then the other player should run that same risk.
2. Allowable weapons include all wooden poles of between two and five feet in length. As with chairs, both opponents must be fitted equally. Poles shouldn't be too thin, as they'll snap.
3. Any and all protection is optional.
4. Contestants should not aim for the eyes, groin, or anywhere else they're likely to do much damage. The objective is to beat your opponent, not mangle him.
5. Any and all cheering crowds may shout one of the two approved cheers:
a: Yay. (not shouted)
b. Any song the Oompa Loompas from the movie version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sing, at top of lungs.
6. The playing field is to be level tile or linoleum, with enough space to get some good momentum up and for the crowd to avoid being impaled by a poorly aimed weapon.
7. The winner is the contestant who does not lose.
