[Turnsky]

i just had to put this up... plasma weapons maynot be really feasable in RL, but they make for a helluva lot of fun elsewhere:D

[Stryke 9]

Read it 16 hours ago.

[Sandwich]

Originally posted by Stryke 9
Actually, to be really accurate, down here we call it "Confed'rit".


Sounds like you've got more of the Georgian drawl. I'm more used to the kinda nasal redneckish Virginian/Misissippian kinda thing.

I've got me a Texan friend over here, who sent me this:

[q]
How to Annoy Northeners....
Submitted by Dave Singer

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. Well yall should always take time to smell the roses ya know.
2. Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.
3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses the heck out of 'em. Humm I thought it was on the right down yonder.
4. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.  Well if the truth be known I do have southen ears and they really dont hear too fast.
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!" It sho nuff is Sweety.
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. We all know them Gators are the best.
7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.You mean there is another name for them??? I know Yall gotta be pullen my little ole lag.
8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits.  When they don't have it, raise a ruckus. What Yall mean Yall aint got no grits?? How am I supose to eat these here ags???
9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air. Now Yall know there aint nuten better than the sweet smell of jasmin so a soft southern breeze??
10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .) Yep and Yall can jest call me TT fer short.
11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression"in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it." Well Mr Butler was kinda civil.
12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady". I usually call all males Sugar and all females Honey.
13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words.  For example:  It's Pahkahn" not "Pee-can". And will Yall ever learn its Yall not Ewens????
14. Put Tabasco on everything. Its really yummy on ice cream.
15. For New York Yankees:  Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City.  In other words, if they say"Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"  Are you trying to tell me it isnt one big ole place??
16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .preferably the banana ones.  mmm  Yummy yummy.
17. Name all of your children "Bubba". I got 3 of them named Bubba.... Makes for easier callen em fur supper that way.
18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction. I reckon I  will work in the yard some more today since it will be in the high 70s here.
19. "Mash" buttons.  "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Some times I tote em too.
20. Never simply "do" something.  Be "fixin to do" something. Well I am fixen to go get more sweet tea. Anybody want some while Im out there?
21. Tell them you don't have an accent,they do. What accent? We all know Yall Yankees have the cutest little accents. I jest love to hear Yall talk. Well when you do it slow eonugh for me to hear it that is.
22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..  Offends the heck out of 'em. Yes Sir Gotta respest your elders.
23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be.   I think they turned it into a Amoco.  Or maybe a BP.  Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left."  "Did I?  Well,turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."  No Yall got that all wrong. Its down by the Texco Turn rite there Which way?? Well Sugar it depends on which way yall be commin from.
24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North.  Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend Well is it and yes I did. All week as a matter of fact.


RULES IN THE SOUTH
Submitted by Dave Singer

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba".  You have a 75% chance of being right.
3. Just because you can't drive on snow and ice does not mean we can stay home the two days of the year it snows.
4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly.  Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the movie store.
7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
11. People walk slower here.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy".  Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way.  These are likely the last words he will ever say.
18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do.  In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.  It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
23. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common.  In  either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
24. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.[/q]

Rule #24 just about explains me, though. I may detest Florida, but it's where I grew up.

[Stryke 9]

The freaky thing is how many of those southerner jokes are true. I've never used bacon grease for anything and at the rate cops around here kill people for minor violations I doubt anyone's willing to try killing someone because it seemed the thing to do, but other than that...

[Vertigo1]

Hey, don't be insultin us southerners dammit!


"Granny, get mah shatgun!"
"Here it is Pa!"

[Vertigo1]

Originally posted by venom2506



That's:
F
I
C
T
I
O
N:
Fiction!
Sorry to disapoint you, but predators and cloaking systems don't exist either.

Considering that I've seen the real thing....and coincidentally it looked like the one used in the movie.

[Su-tehp]

Originally posted by Sandwich
I may detest Florida, but it's where I grew up.

I detest Florida, too, but for entirely different reasons.

Remember, kiddies, Bush v. Gore is NOT a legal precedent that applies to any other cases! The U.S. Supreme Court said so!

My apologies to all peeps reading this crack about Florida and Bush v. Gore, but being a compulsive, manic-depressive law student diagnosed with a severe case of senioritis, I felt compelled to stick that wisecrack in here.

Bt the way, for those of you who don't know what senioritis is, it's an affliction that affects all students on the cusp of graduating, regardless of whether it is from high school, college or (God save us) law school. Since I only have three weeks until I graduate from law school (God willing), I was just diagnosed with "senioritis up the wahzoo," a particularly nasty strain of senioritis that is only found in graduate school students. Fortunately, this strain of senioritis is not virulent and only affects graduate students. Its only symptoms are increased bitterness and cynicism, irritability and ulcers. Fortunately for me, I already had those symptoms once I began law school, so I feel the same as always. You can't even tell I'm sick.

Peeps, you may now resume your regular posting.

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