[KappaWing]

Gah, I get nervous in front of audiences and I can't memorize anything very well. Once I forgot my part in a school play and tried to ad-lib it. It turned out... well... strange to say the least.

Anyways, I got a really long joke but it's funny!

A blonde and her boyfriend are driving down the highway. The blonde tells her boyfriend that if he goes over 100mph she'll take off her clothes. Once she takes off her clothes, the blonde's boyfriend is so distracted that he drives into a ditch. The car rolls and the blonde is thrown from the car while her boyfriend is pinned underneath. Her boyfriend screams from under the car for her to run to the nearest gas station and get help. The blonde replies that she can't go there naked, so her boyfriend tosses her a shoe to cover her privates. She runs to the nearest gas station and enters holding the shoe over her privates. She begs the manger: "Help! Help! My boyfriend is stuck! He can't get out! He may be injured!" The manager replies; "Sorry miss, but there's nothing we can do. I'm afriad he's in too far."

[Saturn2004]

lol that joke sucked the  first ones you posted were  good

[Falcon]

Originally posted by KappaWing
into the water.

I didn't say there was water involved

More like jagged rocks below :devil:

[Sapphire]

If you can't beat 'em.....join 'em.

[Saturn2004]

and anyways  i think all  you  need is  courage a strong  iron clad  will to be a  good comedian i know  you could  do it

[KappaWing]

Heh. Thanks.

Oh and by the way;

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

[KappaWing]

This is one of my favorites. Thanks to my friend David for this one;

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

[Clave]

not bad...

[Clave]

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

[KappaWing]

VERY good Clave and Falcon! Those are awesome!

[Falcon]

Whats a blonde's favorite mystery novel? Her checkbook.............

Why was the blonde in the shower for weeks? Cause the shampoo bottle said lather, rinse, repeat.........

[Flaser]

Q: Who's the red chick?
A: The one who failed to read the bottle.

[KappaWing]

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."