Author Topic: ****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot  (Read 2994 times)

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****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
OH, MAN...I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!
I'm releasing a piece of my campaign's plot.


Paul Sterling
Age: 35 years

Paul Sterling, son of Christopher Sterling and Mary Campbell.

Christopher fought as a gunner during the Great War and latter died during the Bloc Wars. When Paul was eighteen, thefts broke in the Residential Compound where he and Mary were living. The residents fought the thefts, and during the firefight, Mary got shot and died.

Soon afterwards, Paul joined the Galactic Terran Navy. He turned out to be a skilled pilot and permormed an important role in a fighter squadron during the Civil War.

When the Galactic Terran Navy broke away, he and his squadmates formed the SEA (Security and Escort Agency), a private company which offered security for the one who could pay them. As the company earned prestige, it grew in size and formed new departments, like Intelligence & Information and Tactics & Strategies.

When the Second Bloc Wars reached a peak, the SEA decided to change his politics and began to take other kind of jobs: sabotage and stealing.


Martin Stone
Age: 50 years

Martin was the unrecognized son of a wealthy bussinessman. Martin never met his father...
Martin worked as a technician in the GTC Oberon during the Great War.

His mother died from famine during the beginning of the Bloc Wars, when a 60-days blockade captured all the supply convoys directed to Sirius IV's moon's mining colony, where his mother was working and living.

Mere months after that, Martin formed The Stones movement with the premise of eliminating all the persons who obtained economic profit from the Bloc Wars; unscrupulous bussinessmen, corrupt military officers, and selfish politicians.

During the end of the Bloc Wars, the Reconstruction Era and the beginning of the Civil War, The Stones acted as a guerrilla strike group which kidnapped a lot of bussinessman, killed many politicians, and blackmailed several military officers.

When Sirius joined the NTF, Bosch talked with Martin and tried to convince him to help the NTF in its struggle against the GTVA. Martin accepted to help Bosch in exchange to provide The Stones with newer fighters and equipment, lots of contacts and fundings.

The Stones as a revolutionary movement started to extinguish and the Stone Empire began to rise.

During the Second Great War, The Stones aided the evacuation of Capella and fought against the remaining Shivan forces in Epsilon Pegasi.

After the Destruction of Capella, The Stones dissapeared, and the Stone Empire took its place. In its quest to eliminate corruption, Martin himself got corrupted.

The Stone Empire took advantage of the turmoil in Sirius as the NTF was gone and the GTVA was struggling internally. The Stone Empire filled the power vacuum that existed in the system.

The Stone Empire is now involved in many lawed and outlawed activities: 'offering' protection for the space travellers and traders (at exchange of a considerable sum of credits), arms smuggling, drug dealing, blackmail, bribery, kidnapping, assasination, arms production, robotics assembly, spacecraft construction, and capship building.



I hope you enjoyed it...

PD: my english suckes so bad...man. I would  be extremely happy if someone corrects the grammatic errors.
[EDIT]fixed some grammatic errors and made it easier to read[/EDIT]
2nd EDIT: Fixed all the errors discovered by TopAce...
« Last Edit: May 29, 2005, 03:35:41 pm by 2309 »
Developing a FS2 Campaign:
Corruptible, everyone has a price

 

Offline TopAce

  • Stalwart contributor
  • 212
  • FREDder, FSWiki editor, and tester
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
Shoot - Past tense as shot
Beggining - Correct spelling as Beginning
Supplies convoys - Supply convoys
Founds - There is no -s suffix in the past tense.
Bussiness man - Businessman
Politicians instead of politians
at exchange - in exchange
to provide with
Spell Shivan with a capital S, always.
Disappeared instead of dissapeared
In its quest against corruption, I would have written that.
lawed outlawed? :wtf:
vaccum - vacuum
merchant = trader. I think you meant 'mercenary'

These are all the mistakes I could find. Of course, a native can tell you more...
My community contributions - Get my campaigns from here.

I already announced my retirement twice, yet here I am. If I bring up that topic again, don't believe a word.

 
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
Quote
Originally posted by TopAce
Founds - There is no -s suffix in the past tense.
 [/B]


i didn't meant found as thge past of find....but as to found, create, stablish an organization...

any way...lots of thanks...


Mental note: Damn, i'll really need a grammar checker for the campaign.
Developing a FS2 Campaign:
Corruptible, everyone has a price

 

Offline TopAce

  • Stalwart contributor
  • 212
  • FREDder, FSWiki editor, and tester
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
I have not yet seen the verb 'found' used in the present. Use the verb 'form', instead or change the sentence so the 'was founded' term could be used.
My community contributions - Get my campaigns from here.

I already announced my retirement twice, yet here I am. If I bring up that topic again, don't believe a word.

 
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
good...

using 'form' instead...



EDIT: I'm expecting critics about the plot..somethiong like:
- "It's the lamest plot i have ever read"
- "You deserve being hit with a hammer in the head"
- "Writing? You are better off doing something else..."
- "Are you drugged?"
- "Eating paint is hazardous for your health"
- "Nice..."
- "Sweet..."
- "Salad..." (?)
- "It's good"
« Last Edit: May 29, 2005, 03:41:53 pm by 2309 »
Developing a FS2 Campaign:
Corruptible, everyone has a price

 

Offline TopAce

  • Stalwart contributor
  • 212
  • FREDder, FSWiki editor, and tester
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
On this matter, we have two characters, who are well-designed plotwise. That's my opinion. But where will these appear in the campaign?
My community contributions - Get my campaigns from here.

I already announced my retirement twice, yet here I am. If I bring up that topic again, don't believe a word.

 
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
These are main characters...
I've been reading some of the Story-Writing Wiki of FS, you know:
These are the 'hero' and the 'villain'.

This is just a piece of the plot. There will be many other characters, but most of the time, the mission will happen around these two characters.
The player will control Paul Sterling right from the beginning.
The name Martin Stone will pop sometimes during the beggining of the campaign, he won't have much importance until the middle-end of the campaign.

Things that won't show up in the campaign:
- HOL
- Moronic pirates
- Shivans
- NTF
- WTF <--WTF?!


"The worst enemy of the man, is the man"
« Last Edit: May 29, 2005, 11:21:36 pm by 2309 »
Developing a FS2 Campaign:
Corruptible, everyone has a price

 

Offline Setekh

  • Jar of Clay
  • 215
    • Hard Light Productions
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
Quote
Originally posted by willy_principal
EDIT: I'm expecting critics about the plot..somethiong like:
- "It's the lamest plot i have ever read"
- "You deserve being hit with a hammer in the head"
- "Writing? You are better off doing something else..."
- "Are you drugged?"
- "Eating paint is hazardous for your health"
- "Nice..."
- "Sweet..."
- "Salad..." (?)
- "It's good"


How about "Snuffleupagus"?
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.

 

Offline Mad Bomber

  • Booooom
  • 210
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
Salad? :lol:
"What the hell!? I've got a Snuffleupagus on my scanners! The Snuffleupagus is active!"

 
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
Hi there MB...how's that campaign of yours going on?
need a hand?
I want to earn some experience before FREDding for my campaign...
Developing a FS2 Campaign:
Corruptible, everyone has a price

  

Offline Mad Bomber

  • Booooom
  • 210
****, i can't take it any more!!!: releasing a piece of my campaign's plot
ETF is going well. I've even got a forum at Sectorgame now, where I post updates and (more often) Tech Entries.

(points to sig) :D

Hmm. Talk over PM and I'll see what I can give ya.
"What the hell!? I've got a Snuffleupagus on my scanners! The Snuffleupagus is active!"