Ba-barbarian, Ba-ba-barbarian
Ba-barbarian, Ba-ba-barbarian
Dave, the barbarian,
Huge but a whimp.
His sisters, Fang and Candy
Are a princess and a chimp.
(Fang: Not a monkey!)
His mom and dad are the king and queen
Of a land called Udrogoth.
They left to battle evil, and
Now Candy is the
(Candy: Huh?)
BOSS!
Ba-barbarian, Ba-ba-barbarian
Dave, Fang, and Candy
Brave and bold, they're not.
They aint the greatest heroes,
But they're the only ones we got.
Ba-barbarian, Ba-ba-barbarian
Ba-barbarian, Ba-ba-barbarian
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DAVE
Quite simply the person least-suited to be a barbarian … ever. Dave has the size, strength and brawn to lead the barbarians, but he's just not the barbarian type. Dave's more interested in the finer things in life, like cooking, origami and exotic bird calling. Dave is jumpy, paranoid and a neat freak. He should be looking for another career, but it's a family tradition. And though he has fears - lots of them - he manages to be heroic when his family is in trouble.
FANG
Little sister Fang is the perfect contrast to Dave's extreme brawn and absolute cowardice. Fang has all the lunatic bravery and vein popping rage of a true Barbarian. Unfortunately, she's about 40 pounds soaking wet and is often mistaken for a monkey. She is a true barbarian, and she wants others to behave accordingly.
CANDY
Candy cares more about doing her nails and her hair and buying clothes and popularity than she does defending and ruling a kingdom. Ruling the land interferes with her social schedule. She's into fashion, shopping, make-up and collecting plush toys. She's not so much into drinking grog and fighting dragons and the things a barbarian princess typically must do. But beware - she fights like a man!
OSWIDGE
Uncle Oswidge is the kids' surrogate parent. He's an awkward sorcerer with powers that both amaze and befuddle - and usually the befuddling happens when the gang needs amazing. Oswidge never really went to Sorcerer's School. He only worked in the cafeteria … and uses a wand he found there. Oswidge is always able to make large meals disappear in the wink of an eye.
LULA
At Dave's side is the enchanted Living Sword of Lulara G'Thraan (aka Lula), a mystical weapon of great power - though her greatest ability may be to nag almost any living creature into an early grave. She's been around for 20,000 years, so she's a complete know-it-all. Lula keeps herself amused by insulting people and battering them with sarcasm.
FAFFY
Faffy is Dave's pet, half-wit miniature, lightning-breathing Dragon. Scaly but cute, Faffy is a friendly puppy-like beast who communicates by make squeeps and blurps. He has little bat-like wings and he moves kind of like a drunken. He's got almost no personality, and a brain that cannot be measured by modern science - it's subatomic in size. Like Oswidge, he's all about eating.
DARK LORD CHUCKLES, They Silly Pig
Psychotic pig with an ancient power amulet that seeks to rule the world. Has the best maniacal laugh in the buisness.
TWINKLES THE MAGICAL HORSE - a rainow colored hair flying horse of princess Candy. He can allso talk and tends to sing a lot or tell realyl distrubing and dark dreams (like him killing a penguin with a baseball bat)
