Author Topic: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)  (Read 2511 times)

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Offline Desert Tyrant

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Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
For over ten thousand years, the Pax Star kingdom ruled in their domain, alongside the Droid Confederacy, the Galactic Terran Alliance, and the League of Free worlds.
Until they came.
The Shivans were a threat unlike any other.  They came in swarms, unrelenting, cunning, and brutal.  The great war was on, a conflict that saw hundreds of thousands of combatants die each day.  They swarrmed the venerable GTA, and the Parliament of Vasuda.  For a while, it seemed like we might of been able to survive the storm, that the great war could only tighten the unity of the knowed space coalitions.
Until the Lucifer appeared.
The Lucifer was a living monster of a ship.  The Shivan Super Destroyer is responsible for trillions of casualties, as it obiterate several hundred colonies.  We banded together, to end the Shivan menace, but each gave an even more terrible cost than the day earlier.  We knew the Vasudan's sorrow, as their hormworld was rendered useless, under the Lucifer's massive flux-cannons.  Eventually, Vasudan scientists found the way to destroy the destroyer.  The records found in the Altair system unlocked the ability to track ships in hyperspace, courtesy of the Ancients.  With this knowledge, we had hope, no matter how small it was.  We fought on, as the Shivans closed in on Earth, with a renewed vigor.  But the time for our judgement had came.  Fighter pilots off the GTD Bastion, the HMS Royale, and the PVD Propechy, followed the Lucifer into hyperspace.  The Lucifer's five reactors were smashed, and the Shivan nightmare was destroyed, as it was flung out of hyperspace.  The Sol System was saved.  We had won the Great War, but we still had nearly five years of mop-up duty.  In the Thirty-five years that had transpired since the Lucifer had been destroyed, we became more militarized.  We built massive Ships, tens of miles in lengh, we had dedicated crews, and the Newly Established GTVA[ had brought peace to the galaxy, but the peace was not forever.  We went to war with the Droid Confederacy, their appointed leader, general Grievous, bled us dry, as a coalition.  The League seceded from our pact.  The Confederacy badly wounded, and, so, when the Shivans returned, we ran.  We found a portal, to another galaxy.  We had the biggest evacuation in history, as literally trillions of sentient beings were loaded onto every last ship in the Pax remnant.  We all went through the Portal, leaving our frinds, and loved ones, with the GTVA.  And here we are now.  I wonder, everyday, did we do the right thing? I drives me mad, asking myself that, but it is a choice that we made, as a nation, and we no at the point of no return now.


Grand Moff Willhuff Tarkin, testimony taken off the HMS Reaper, march 29, 2369.


                  Captain Jackson Killjoy walked around on the bridge HMS Nemesis, one of the finest Imperial-class Star Destroyers in the Pax remnant's fleet.  Looking back, Killjoy still winced at the Memory of serving in the Venator Star Destroyer Swordhawk, Over seeing the Evacution of entire star systems, as the Shivan's had come back to challenge the GTVA, and the League of free worlds.  The Council of Moffs decided to Evacuate the entire civilian populace, and the entirety of the Pax fleet.  During the war, a probe droid found a portal, which was later named R7/Mirror portal.  The Council had the oh-so-bright idea to send everbody and everything through.  The Council now had residence on the Executor Super Star Destroyer Reaper.  The other Executor, the Knight's Hammer, was mostly on Refugee defense duty. 
As for the rest of the fleet, it was composed of, well, Lancer frigates, Carracks, Tallahasses, Acclamators, Venators, Victory's, Katanas,, Imperial Star Destroyers, and, well... that was it.

Killjoy's current assignment was in the Wupash nebula, which was more of an asteroid field than a nebula.  The Asteroid field was a rather ideal hiding place, when it came down to it, which was what they needed.  "How Long until we can contact Tiger squad?" Killjoy asked in third in command, Misato Katuragi
"An hour, sir"
"Good, keep me informed."  Killjoy said, then walked on through the bridge. 
"Captain?" A young Lieutenant ran up to him
"Yes, Lt. Mithel?."   "Sir, we just got word, Tiger squad was attacked, they have withdrawn, and are now en route to the Nemesis.
         "Looks like this wont be a milk run." Killjoy sighed, "Is that all, Lieutanant?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, keep me informed" The Painfully inexperienced lieutanant then walked off to his post, Killjoy noted.  "We really have too many young people in the navy corp." he thought, rather darkly. 
        "Misato, get my first officer up here on the double."  Misato looked uncomfortable immediately.  "What is it." Killjoy asked, having seen that look before.
"...He's not getting up, sir." Misato had a pained expression now. "Well, why the hell not?"
"I-uh-well... Killjoy rolled his eyes, "Spit it out, Misato."
"I drank him, under the table, sir.  He's going to have one giant *****-slap of a headache."  Killjoy's eyes nearly shot out of his sockets as he laughed.  "You're kidding, right?"
Misato shook her head, "I wish I was kidding."  Killjoy's smile faded, now with a grimace.  "Shinji Ikari finally snapped, and tried drink you under?"
"Yep"
"CAPTAIN KILLJOY!!"  Lieutanant Mithel yell out from his station, "Tiger squad has landed, they report that we are about to expect enemy warships."
"Acknowledged.  Did he get any data?"
"Yes, they did, a partial dump."
"Battlestations, repeat, everybody to battlestations."  Killjoy yelled into the Intercom.  "Great, so they're xenophobic.  Just ****ing wonderful"  A crewman was heard saying in the crew pits.
Killjoy now had a pained expression, knowing he was definitely going to get into a brawl.
"Sir, we are detecting at least seven ships falling out of hyperspace."  Misato said next to him, in her usuall business tone.  "Fighters have been scrambled, also"
"We're getting a transmission, standby."  A crewman, in one of the pits reported.
This is Capitan Stanly Jankowski, of the Hyperion-class cruiser Prometheus, you will standown, or be destroyed. You have ten seconds.
"Interesting.  Misato, order the TIE Avengers to attack those capital ships."
"Captain, are we sure we really want to do this?"
"We are officially under attack, and we shall respond accordingly."  The bridge then shook, as the Nemesis was struck by heavy plasma cannons.
"Looks like it's war.  All Gun batteries, fire at will.

        Outside, the Nemesis opened fire all guns on the lead Hyperion, who's armor flickered, then fail, which told Killjoy immediately that those ships used polarised armor, and not Shields.
"Interesting.  Gunnery control, fire at will."
The Second salvo caused the lead Hyperion to immediately have flames spout all over the ships, as turbolaser blast smashed the hull.  The Third Salvo completely destroyed the cruiser.  At this point, the Intergalatic alliance group saw the carnage, and the incoming TIE Avengers and attempted to get outbound jump status.  Two Nova Dreadnoughts, engaged the Nemesis, and all of its fighters, to cover the cruisers escape.  It ended badly, as both Dreadnoughts took massive broadsides, fire gouting from all over both dreadnoughts.  One finally exploded, from a proton torpedo run, by a pair of TIE/D Defenders. 
The rest escaped, as the other dreadnought was destroyed, plasma cannons blaring to it's last, as turbolasers completely tore the ship apart.
        "Standown from battlestations.  Get me the Errant Venture, and the council.  Report that we have been attacked."
"Yes, sir."  Misato said, with no small measure of anxiety.
END CHAPTER ONE
Let me know what you think about it, tell me what's wrong with it, and I'll try to fix it.
EDIT: Does this explain more now?
« Last Edit: April 29, 2007, 08:19:07 pm by Desert Tyrant »

 

Offline Cobra

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Umm... yeah. I don't really get what it's about. It's way too vague and it just starts off without any background.

Also the use of punctuation is horrible. To be really blunt, it looks like a 12 year old wrote it.
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline Desert Tyrant

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Umm... yeah. I don't really get what it's about. It's way too vague and it just starts off without any background.

Also the use of punctuation is horrible. To be really blunt, it looks like a 12 year old wrote it.
Thats because your abouyt two years off my age, actually.

 

Offline Cobra

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
You're ****ing 10? Goddamn.

Listen, dude. For the love of God, don't start writing fiction until you're at least 16 or something.

[EDIT] Spell check is your friend. :nervous:

At least you tried though.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2007, 04:32:37 pm by Cobra »
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline Desert Tyrant

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
You're ****ing 10? Goddamn.

Listen, dude. For the love of God, don't start writing fiction until you're at least 16 or something.

[EDIT] Spell check is your friend. :nervous:

At least you tried though.
No, I'm 14 >_+

 

Offline Cobra

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Whatever. It could still use a lot of work, I don't think you proofread it at all.
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline Desert Tyrant

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Whatever. It could still use a lot of work, I don't think you proofread it at all.
Yeah, I know, I guess I'll do the spell check.

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Soo....many...crosowers.... :eek2: :eek:

WTF is going on latey?
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

  

Offline Desert Tyrant

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Re: Hellfire(Uses SW ships, with elements of B5 and WC)
Soo....many...crosowers.... :eek2: :eek:

WTF is going on latey?
Dunno, Something I wanted to do.  I'll add a prolouge later.(Like, in a hour.)
EDIT:Prolouge is going to be edited into the first post.
EDIT2:I'm going to be gone for about a week, so somebody keep it bumped. Please. Thanks, if you can
EDIT3:  You know what?  **** it, someone lock the topic.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2007, 07:48:26 pm by Desert Tyrant »