[blackhole]

Funniest page I have ever read.

Particularly amusing threads of thought (or lack thereof):

We are living in a computer simulation, run either by aliens or our descendants.

* There is the Pauli Exclusion Principle, which says particles inexplicably cannot be in the same place at the same time with the same properties. Similar to a computer memory that can't hold two data words at the same address. This only applies to fermions, not bosons. Suggesting we are running on a version of Windows.

* Cheesecake is definitely optimised.

The world we live in is a Mirror Universe where everything is topsy turvy from the "correct" one.

* Does mean I get laid in real life?

You are actually an inhabitant of your favorite book, movie, tv show, video game, etc. You yourself are trapped in some sort of coma. The reason you like the book/movie/game so much is that it is actually your real reality.

* Does this mean I have to fight Giygas? Aw, This Is Gonna Suck.

You're trapped in a Groundhog Day Loop right now, but your lack of Ripple Effect Proof Memory prevents you from remembering.

* And today is your 395,011th iteration of today. Will you ever break the cycle?

* That's not true! That's exactly what the number was yesterday! But... uh oh, this is actually scarier than the alternative. Now I'm freaking out.

Caffeine is sentient and is enslaving all of humanity.

The world is a giant video game.

* Hallucinogens = Items that were never programmed properly. Cause glitches when used.

[Titan]

Lol

[BloodEagle]

That is one Hell of a long page. 

[Aardwolf]

Does this mean I have to fight Giygas? Aw, This Is Gonna Suck.

EarthBound FTW.

[Scotty]

I didn't see it was that place until I clicked the link.  Goodbye, evening.

[BloodEagle]

Does this mean I have to fight Giygas? Aw, This Is Gonna Suck.

EarthBound FTW.

Mother 2, FTW.

[Stormkeeper]

... Damnit. So that means a colony will be dropping on Earth sometime soon?

[karajorma]

I especially liked this one....

Catholic schools exist to limit the numbers of Catholics.

In the late 19th century, American Catholics came to the realization that, since the majority of immigrants for a generation or more were Catholic with no end in sight, they were facing a potentially unending cycle of church expansion and further overcrowding. The way they found off the treadmill was to establish schools which would be a one-time investment, working on the principle of stuffing students' heads with so much dogma that after 8-12 years they're ready to leave the Church and never come back, thus freeing up precious church-pew space for the next generation of new immigrants. I call it Our Lady of Perpetual Turnover.

[BloodEagle]

You know, that one actually makes sense. 

[Stormkeeper]

... Oddly, yes.

[Mongoose]

Not in this troper's personal experience.

[Scotty]

This troper disagrees with the above troper, seeing as how that generally does happen.

[Stormkeeper]

This troper concurs with the above troper, especially in the fact that the troper above the above troper is wrong and is a <insert random favorite expletive>.

[Mongoose]

Well let me put it this way: most of the people I know who attended Catholic grade school with me, many of which went on to the same Catholic high school that I did, still attend Mass regularly.  And our on-campus oratory in college, at a point in life where one's parents were no longer around to force one to go every Sunday, was as a rule nearly always full.  So all I can go by is what I've seen directly.  I can at least tell you that the sentiment of being "stuffed with dogma" is some very inaccurate phraseology.