After a night of un-Godly pain, I feel like I have somewhat earned the right to attention-whore about it (because it still hurts like a mother****er at times).
For a few years, I have been suffering a condition in which my right salivary gland (just where the jaw connects to the throat) swells up and becomes a horrifying-looking lump. In 2002, was given a CT scan and it was determined that there were no ongoing blockages to cause the gland to swell up--but that it was actually just 'sludge' of sorts in the tubes connecting my mouth to the glands, possibly remnants of food--and that a bit of sour candy would help clear the blockage. The candy helped, and after a month or two of this 'candy therapy,' the condition appeared to go away.
Just a few days ago, I felt a strange sensation in my mouth in which a 'lump' of sorts appeared underneath my tongue. Unable to find the cause (and slightly worried about possible tumors), I scheduled a doctor's appointment. Luckily, it wasn't cancerous, but on the flip-side, I've been diagnosed with
sialolithiasis (thanks to Battuta for the link and name of the condition).
For those too lazy to click and read, it's a condition where stones (the approximate size of your run-of-the-mill kidney stones--about 3mm) are caught in the tubes connecting your salivary glands to your mouth, thereby causing swelling of the glands and horrific pain in the mouth, experienced under the tongue. The pain is/was so excruciating in my case, it was for a while impossible for me to chew, or even speak, because both of those functions require heavy use of the tongue muscle--and when the tendon connecting your tongue muscle to the rest of your body is in direct contact with the obstructed tube, it hurts like a ***** to even move your tongue.
Sour candy helps ease the pain because saliva production--while painful at the moment--actually saturates the stones with so much of the stuff that it breaks down into a whitish goo (instead of a solid piece of calcium) and excretes itself from the same hole in which your mouth receives saliva.
****ing disgusting, but it worked for me.
After the stone is converted to sludge, additional sour candy or drinking excessive amounts of water to promote salivation has cleared most of the blockage.
I have an appointment to visit an ENT's office to see exactly what's left of this condition, and if I'm going to have problems with it in the future--but it's not until Monday or Tuesday, so I have to live with this horrid-tasting excretion and pain in my mouth for a few more days.
****.Moral of the story: Call a ****ing doctor during the weekdays, so you don't have to put up with this ****.
