My dad forwards me all sorts of hilarious stuff he recieves from one of his freinds, and this is a particularly hilarious TRUE story:
> > This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
>newsletter
> > of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.
> >
> > Dear Sir:
> >
> > "I'm writing in response to your request for additional information in
> > Block 3, "Cause of Accident" of the accident report form. I put "poor
> > planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation
> > and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
> >
> > I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
>alone
> > on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found
> > that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
>be
> > slightly more than 500 pounds. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,
> > I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached
>to
> > the side of the building on the sixth floor.
> >
> > Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
> > barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
> > rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will
> > note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135 pounds.
> >
> > Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
> > presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
> > proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
> > the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an
> > equal, impressive speed.
> >
> > This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
> > collarbone, as listed in section three of the accident report form. Slowed
> > down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers
> > on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
> >
> > Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
>to
> > hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
> > of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
> > the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
> > of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you
> > again to my weight.
> >
> > As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
>building.
> > In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
> > accounts for the fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of
> > my legs and lower body.
> >
> > Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
>seemed
> > to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of
>bricks
> > and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
> > however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I
> > again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I
> > lay there watching the empty barrel beginning its journey back down onto
> > me. This explains the two broken legs.
> >
> > I hope this answers your inquiry."
> >
> > --
