Hi guys!
Because I missed a lot of english-lessons (I had to take part in a lot of Assessment Centers therefore I get a job after school) I'm supposed to write a short SF story, the reader has to think about.
I'm sure, the plot isn't that bad, but I don't know, how many grammatic mistaktes and so on are in it. Maybe you can help me by reading the story and telling me some mistakes! The would really help me.
Here's the story:
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Title: „Battery low“
Genre: Science Fiction / Fantasy
Classification: Short Story
Date of release: Oct. 1st 2004
It was the dawn of the 23rd Century…
In times of space exploration, scientific victories and the development of artificial intelligence, mankind entered the way of reaching a level of superior existence. In her own enthusiasm mankind saw themselves as the alpha and the omega. No limits, no barriers, nothing more to stop this civilization.
Some decades ago men from the planet earth broke through the solar systems boarders. Some years later the first perfect androids were created. In their technological perfection, they couldn’t be any more separated from a human. Neither in their appearance nor in their behavior. Every disease or illness was defeated, most humans were over one hundred and forty years old, when the cold hand of death was grabbing their old and breakable bodies…
Death…
In times, the magnificent light of other suns in the universe was caught by mankind’s hands, the death wasn’t still defeated.
But in the year 2295 the scientist Jeremy Sither developed the computed neural transmitter system. A new technology, allowing him to transfer human thoughts and memories into any kind of hardware device which could store information.
Sither was already older then eighty years, but the wish of a long live followed him since he was a little boy.
He knew, he still had over sixty years until he had to die. But it wasn’t enough. Not for him. With his new technology, the CNTS, the idea of immortality grew in him day for day. He knew, applying the CNTS on a high developed android after connecting the system with his brain would allow him, to leave his mortal covering. His mind, all his memories, his emotions, his knowledge, his experience, everything would get immortal in the solid hull of an android.
Sither had to challenge the probably hardest question in his life: Should he die as a human being or should he walk through decades, centuries, through whole millenniums as an android?
Weeks and months passed, but after this long time, the scientist made his decision.
“Yes…”
He made his preparations and in the year 2297 he stood in front of the CNTS control terminal and the lifeless android. He turned around, viewing into the mirror hanging in front of him. He examined his old skin, the gray hair, the old green eyes.
“I will be superior…”, he whispered. His thoughts were in fire, in the enthusiasm of being soon the oldest and intelligent being mankind had ever seen, he connected his head with the system and initiated the transfer sequence…
He closed his eyes and he could feel the fire in his veins, he could feel how the fire crushed into his brain, sucking him down into a dark hole, pulling him out of his organic body…
He opened his eyes…
It was strange, he had problems to see his environment properly, but after some seconds everything was fine. It was a strange feeling he had…but he had a feeling!
He look through the room and saw his own lifeless body slackened on the chair. He stood up and moved his right hand in front of his eyes. He saw a silver shining metallic structure, moving like his own hand and accepting every order his electronic brain gave.
He could feel his new body. He noticed the energy flowing through the androids hull, the micro fusion reactor would give him enough energy for billions of years. He knew, the android hadn’t an energy transfer system, it wasn’t necessary, the reactor would obviously produce more energy then necessary. Because of this, Sither took an PDA and entered the code for the androids self-destruction. Whenever life would get too boring, whenever the time would come to go, then Sither only would have to initiate the self-destruction by the PDA with the androids data interface.
Needing no sleep, no food, no water, nothing, Sither left his house, his broke with his former life and decided to go somewhere, somewhere, he hasn’t been before…
With the fire in his eyes, the thunder in his thoughts, the feeling of being superior and undefeatable, Sither made his first step. The androids black metal foot stepped powerful on the wooden floor and left a small crater in it. Sither smiled. The he started running…
Leaving the house, the street, the city, the nation…he run thousands of kilometers without a break, just because it was fun…
His life had no more limits, he used the first twenty years and walked along the equator as long as he had surrounded the earth. The fire in his thoughts told him, this would be only his first journey…
Sither did whatever he wanted, he conquered every mountain and explored every ocean. Decades passed…centuries passed…Despite he was an android he found friends, but they died, the family his brother founded centuries ago was now in the 21st generation.
Century for century passed, he got in contact with millions of people, he watched the mankind conquering the galaxy and the stars far beyond. Maybe the time will come, he would launch into space, but not now. He wanted to explore the whole planet himself.
More the two millenniums passed, it was the year 4412 when Sither sat down on a stone somewhere in Africa and watched the sky. “It is getting boring…”, he thought.
His was now more than two thousand years old. “Maybe I should take the next border…”.
He needed a ship therefore he would be able to explore the space beyond earth. He worked some centuries and collected the money for the ship. In the ending fifth millennium he bought a small vessel and started. He wanted to see every sun and every planet in the galaxy.
He started, fulfilling his dreams…
Again, centuries and millenniums passed and he just had visited less then one percent of the solar systems in the galaxy. He didn’t stop.
After more than thirty thousand years he revisited earth. The mankind had colonized half the galaxy, the earth was formed into a beautiful paradise by the most modern technology, Moon, Mars and Venus were terraformed. It was quite amazing for Sither to notice this fantastic development of his race. But after some time he got bored, somehow he was disappointed about the fact, mankind still hadn’t any contacts with other life forms.
“Maybe I’ll find them one day…”, he thought.
He entered his old path through the galaxy and left the earth. Again, he traveled for ten thousands of years…for hundreds of thousands of years…
Some thousand years ago he had lost the contact to the rest of his civilization. He decided to visit earth again. It was boring again and he decided to leave the galaxy, breaking through the next border, knowing, his journey would take millions of years.
More then five million years later he came back from the Andromeda galaxy. His eyes had seen more then everyone else in the universe.
This time he landed on earth and deactivated his vessel. Traveling through space got to boring in the meantime.
This time, he had to notice, there wasn’t any more any human being on the planet. He recognized, his species had become extinct. The former human being, got sad about this. He took place on a stone and thought for some centuries about it. In the meantime, earth had become a huge desert, everything had changed. New life forms he had never seen had conquered the planet.
“A monument…”, rushed through his mind. A monument for the mankind…
He started to built a pyramid. He collected stones, and the monument got higher and higher. He worked for thousands of years and finally the pyramid was about over forty kilometers high. On the top, he placed a human statue.
But he didn’t know what to do now. Everything was boring. No other human being was on the planet to talk with him. But was there anything to talk about? He already had talked about every topic in past. In the meantime, the desert storms had damaged his vessel and destroyed several primary systems, but he didn’t care about it, he wanted to rest on earth now.
He watched along the huge desert covering the earth’ face. “Maybe it’s time to go…”, a voice whispered in his mind.
“Yes…maybe…”, he thought. He opened a little box in the androids hull and took out the PDA. He took the connection cable and connected himself with the system, therefore he could now rest in peace after this journey.
He watched the PDA and pressed the little red button, looking in the signature on it: “activate”.
Surprised of being alive he watched the display in the next second. He read the message:
“Battery low”.
Maybe it was his cry, which was only part of him that survived the future…
