hmmm
no official welcome speech

Welcome to the Hard Light Productions facility, where we research and implement all sorts of features to the game Freespace 2.
Please keep your arms and legs inside the tram, and take a seat. Current topside temperature is, 34 Degrees Centigrade, weather conditions are mild, and the toxic gas cloud is predicted to move north today.
In case of emergency or a disaster, napalm throwers are located underneath your seats, but you'll need to them half-life crowbar style as they are empty (we didn't have the $$ to get the napalm). Plasma rifles are located in the lockers up front, but these can only be opened by [V], an Admin, a hyperintelligent shade of the color blue, or a build of FS2_Open that has G.e.o.m.o.d.d.i.n.g. in it.
Should you encounter a shivan presence in the vents, fear not, for it is only Carl. Give him your lunch (or lunch money) and he'll leave you alone.
Do not mention FS3 without reading Karajoma's FAQ (which is your best friend btw) or the Wiki (your other best friend), nor shall you mention the name of the fouleth one (*cough* Derek Smart *cough*) more than once!
Have a safe, and productive day.