Author Topic: Some political humor  (Read 976 times)

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Offline WMCoolmon

  • Purveyor of space crack
  • 213
A Democrat, a Republican, and a Communist are traveling on board a private aircraft when the pilot suddenly suffers a heart attack and dies. None of the men have any pilot training, and only one parachute is on board.

The Democrat turns to the other two men and says, "We should elect one of us to pilot the plane. That way, we might all survive."

The Republican replies, "No, one of us should be chosen by popular vote to take the parachute. Then we know one of us will survive."

The Communist slices the parachute up into three equal pieces and hands a piece to each person. He cheerfully explains, "Now none of us will survive, but we will all be equally happy!"
-C

 

Offline Night Hammer

  • I Can't FRED
  • 29
  • You'll shoot your eye out...
Stop... Hammertime :hammer:

 

Offline Nuke

  • Ka-Boom!
  • 212
  • Mutants Worship Me
if i was the commie id tell the republican that the democrats make good hang gliders. :D
I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Nuke's Scripting SVN

 

Offline Knight Templar

  • Stealth
  • 212
  • I'm a magic man, I've got magic hands.
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

Too Long, Didn't Read

 

Offline Primus

  • Ranger
  • 29
  • Lusus Naturae
    • Proxima Fleet
No surrender, no retreat.
Proxima Fleet - https://proxima-fleet.com/
Tumblr - https://www.tumblr.com/proximafleet

 
 

Offline Flaser

  • 210
  • man/fish warsie
Quote
Originally posted by Nuke
if i was the commie id tell the republican that the democrats make good hang gliders. :D


Good one - though I would have jumped by the time the western crackheads finished their darn speeches.
"I was going to become a speed dealer. If one stupid fairytale turns out to be total nonsense, what does the young man do? If you answered, “Wake up and face reality,” you don’t remember what it was like being a young man. You just go to the next entry in the catalogue of lies you can use to destroy your life." - John Dolan

 

Offline Scuddie

  • gb2/b/
  • 28
  • I will never leave.
I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass...

Yes, I know that was lame :blah:
Bunny stole my signature :(.

Sorry boobies.

 

Offline TopAce

  • Stalwart contributor
  • 212
  • FREDder, FSWiki editor, and tester
I already know this joke, but this is still a good one.
:lol:
My community contributions - Get my campaigns from here.

I already announced my retirement twice, yet here I am. If I bring up that topic again, don't believe a word.

 

Offline Liberator

  • Poe's Law In Action
  • 210
Planes aren't really all that hard to fly, it's the takeoffs and landings that are crap.
So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

There are only 10 types of people in the world , those that understand binary and those that don't.

 

Offline Nuke

  • Ka-Boom!
  • 212
  • Mutants Worship Me
takeoffs and landings are no more difficult to a pilot than backing your car out of the driveway is to the rest of us. its a mater of practice. of course phucking up will render you dead.
I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Nuke's Scripting SVN

 

Offline Nuclear1

  • 211
Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
A Democrat, a Republican, and a Communist are traveling on board a private aircraft when the pilot suddenly suffers a heart attack and dies. None of the men have any pilot training, and only one parachute is on board.

The Democrat turns to the other two men and says, "We should elect one of us to pilot the plane. That way, we might all survive."

The Republican replies, "No, one of us should be chosen by popular vote to take the parachute. Then we know one of us will survive."

The Communist slices the parachute up into three equal pieces and hands a piece to each person. He cheerfully explains, "Now none of us will survive, but we will all be equally happy!"


:lol:
Spoon - I stand in awe by your flawless fredding. Truely, never before have I witnessed such magnificant display of beamz.
Axem -  I don't know what I'll do with my life now. Maybe I'll become a Nun, or take up Macrame. But where ever I go... I will remember you!
Axem - Sorry to post again when I said I was leaving for good, but something was nagging me. I don't want to say it in a way that shames the campaign but I think we can all agree it is actually.. incomplete. It is missing... Voice Acting.
Quanto - I for one would love to lend my beautiful singing voice into this wholesome project.
Nuclear1 - I want a duet.
AndrewofDoom - Make it a trio!

  

Offline Flaser

  • 210
  • man/fish warsie
Quote
Originally posted by Nuke
takeoffs and landings are no more difficult to a pilot than backing your car out of the driveway is to the rest of us. its a mater of practice. of course phucking up will render you dead.


Except on in blasting storm with different crosswinds on each meter to the ground and fog covering the whole are so you can't see beyond your nose....

...eh...just had some darn hard experience in LOMAC trying to land my Su-27 in said conditions.
I finally managed to master visual landings - more or less ~90% sucessful landings on ground - but pure instrument landing is still beyond me.

...add the storm and start praying to pull the chute's lever in time...
"I was going to become a speed dealer. If one stupid fairytale turns out to be total nonsense, what does the young man do? If you answered, “Wake up and face reality,” you don’t remember what it was like being a young man. You just go to the next entry in the catalogue of lies you can use to destroy your life." - John Dolan