copy i-war
This is really the best answer, but I think in the end, your main problem is the FS2 pilot AI. Iwar is fully newtonian, and when the ships are capable of moving as fast as they're willing to spend the time accellerating to, dogfighting really requires a mutual agreement to stay at speeds that allow the ships to stay within range of each other so they can shoot. This works out pretty well when the AI is designed around it, but when you give the FS2 AI the ability to move that fast, it will.
After playing with $Glide a lot, it really seems like the best compromise. FS2 AI seems to use it pretty effectively, and it allows you to do most of the stuff you'd want to do with Newtonian flight anyway.