FS1 Introduction:
Apollo Pilot: Oh God, they're following me! Mayday! This is Lieutenant Ash on AVG Patrol scan Gamma, Three Niner, reporting... Taken heavy fragmentation! Requesting immediate firewall cover and rescue. Come in anybody!
Apollo Pilot: Mayday! Requesting immediate assistance! Anyone, please!
Caption: AVG Installation Free / Ross 128 FolderCommunications Officer: Barely receiving you, Gamma Three Niner. This is AVG Anti-Virus Free responding. What is your situation?
Apollo Pilot: Oh thank God! Our scan was ambushed - we didn't have a chance! I'm sure they're tracking me.
Communications Officer: Calm down, sir. Who attacked you? Was it the Spammers?
Apollo Pilot: Spammers were killed too. They formatted everyone!
Communications Officer: Sir, you have to calm down. You were attacked by Spammers, is that true?
Apollo Pilot: No, NO! We were in a skirmish with a Spammer syndicate, and they just came out of nowhere and deleted everyone!
Communications Officer: WHO came out of nowhere, pilot?
Apollo Pilot: I--I don't know. They weren't Spammers, and they weren't Anti-Virus. Oh God, they're these death-black icons -
Communications Officer: P - pilot...
Apollo Pilot: - and they duplicated like -
Communications Officer: Pilot!
Apollo Pilot: - and their code was too much. They infected everyone!
Communications Officer: Pilot, sit tight! We're starting a recovery program right now.
Apollo Pilot: Send FIREWALLS! I--I know they're following me. Send everything you have now!
Communications Officer: Sir, I don't have anyone else on scope. You're home free. It's going to be all right!
Apollo Pilot: No, it isn't! You don't understand! You weren't there!
Apollo Pilot: I can feel them following me.
Fighter-sized jump points form behind the Apollo, and a huge jump point forms in front of itApollo Pilot: Oh my God! I'm dead! We're all dead!
Communications Officer: Picking up unknown jump signatures...
Communications Officer: Scramble the firewalls!
Apollo Pilot: It's too late! Oh God!
Communications Officer: What the hell is that?
Apollo Pilot:
(as his fighter explodes) Aaaaaaaaaahhh!
Command Brief:
Good morning, pilots. I'm going to get right to it. The Malware forces are sprouting up everywhere, and it's no secret that our front lines are taking a beating. As you probably know, no one has been able to communicate with them; and McAfee Virus Information has no leads on their origins or their motives. On the upside, their polymorphic technology seems to be working just fine for us. By this afternoon, all firewalls stationed on AVG Anti-Virus Free will have been fitted with them. Try to keep them intact, all right?
The portal Taranis is suspected to be the source of command for Malware in this sector. It's here in the Ubuntu system, and we suspect it's low on worms and virus writers due to its recent attack runs. We have reason to believe it will soon jump to another operating system to resupply. We don't know where it will jump to, but there is only one hyperlink out of Ubuntu and we intend to blockade it. In the interest of learning more about the slippery bastards, we're going to attempt something bold: the capture of the Taranis.
If this goes off, it will give us the opportunity to examine Malware technology up close - and bag a few live Trojan horses in the process. In order to do this we will conduct a series of missions designed to take out the portal's escorts and defences. Time to chip away at the boulder, people. That is all. Report to your flight leaders for your orders. Dismissed!
Hall Fight:
Caption: Captured Malware Portal / Red Hat SystemSquad Leader: Control, this is scanning program Bravo Two. Entering quarrantined portal.
Control: Roger, Bravo Two. Keep herustics to a minimum.
(The virus Pilot enters the portal.)Control: Bravo Two, your detection level is too weak.
Squad Leader: Copy that.
(To his point soldier) Point, go.
(The point soldier [Zombie] steps ahead and looks around.)Zombie: No sign of anything.
Squad Leader: Squad Two, go.
(The squad jumps ahead.)Flex: Probably all in the virus vault, anyway.
Squad Leader: Cut herustics, damn it!
(The squad jumps/descends several dozen subfolders down to a wide directory. Faint noises come from ahead.)Spice: Hear that?
Zombie: Contact, thirty files ahead.
Control: Report, Bravo Two?
Squad Leader: Form up, everyone.
(The squad moves into formation and readies their weapons.)Squad Leader: Visual?
Zombie: Negative. I don't --
(The soldier is interrupted by more noises ahead. Several Trojan horses appear.)Zombie: Whoa.
Spice: What the hell is that?
Flex: Oh my God!
Squad Leader: Begin virus cleaning!
(The team opens fire on the Malware. The point horse is slowed down but keeps going.)Zombie: Die!
(The point horse finally goes down, but the other viruses overwrite it. Several squad members are overwritten.)Squad Leader: Fall back!
(The team falls back but to no avail: The Malware quickly delete all but one soldier.)Control: Bravo Two, what's going on? Please respond!
(A piece of code on the virus' executable displays and begins to glow.)Spice: Oh my God... no...
(The code formats drive C:\.)FS2 ending one:
To the officers and crew of Norton Anti-Virus: We have halted the Malware advance. The Battle of Galaxy P* is over. We sealed off the system, and our programs are safe - maybe forever.
No one can fathom how or why the Malware formatted the Future Operating System*. Though we know our enemy better now than we did thirty-two days ago, their motives remain a mystery. Perhaps they are deleted files like we are, nomads wandering the Internet searching for a way back home. The theft of SysReq* might be the bridge between this operating system and their own. As the old programmer once said, "There are more things in the Recycle Bin and Windows than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
From our odyssey into Vista, we return with a gift: the HLP technology to build a hyperlink between Mac OS X and Red Hat. To restore the link to our great operating system. To return to sanity after all these years.
This is Admiral Branson II, signing off.
*Kudos if you know the origin of these.
