Why is it 'almost impossible' ? I don't really know what math is behind it, and although I could probably understand it I don't really care to, but... Couldn't you just use a single map, containing height values, to determine the texel that is going to be drawn, and then look up the normal vector in a normal map generated at load-time (if necessary)?
Because the perceived surface "altitude" variations caused by normal map are relative and those caused by parallax map are absolute.
Normal map "tilts" the surface into some direction, and the change of height depends not only on the angle of the tilt but the width of it; it's simple trigonometry. On the other hand, height map needs an absolute scale of lowest point and highest point (black and white) to know the parallax difference that the shader should utilize between those points, and "no parallax shift" always needs to be middle gray. Then there's the matter of model scale... on normal maps it's not a problem because everything is relative, but parallax maps are more troublesome. Is the height difference from lowest to highest point defined in game units? Or relative units depending on the model's size? What happens when the geometry in parallax and normal map do not match perfectly?
And this is why it is practical impossibility to make the height map's scale match the scale of perceived height variations on all places of the map.
The problem is further exacerbated by the fact that when you generate a normal map from the height map, it doesn't necessarily match the original height map. For example, normal map cannot deal with immediate contrast changes from black to white, so it generates a narrow transition area with maximal normal angle difference. And now there is a discrepancy already between what the normal map makes you think and what the height map thinks the surface geometry should be, and they start fighting each other and results are not good.
The general result is that parallax mapping for ships is not useable as such. Besides the general perceived surface geometry impression from normal maps alone is very effective and more than sufficient for ships.