[General Battuta]

Go ahead and discuss spoilers, it's been long enough anyway that if they haven't read it yet they're probably waiting on the Cliffs Notes. 

[Kolgena]

Spoiler:

Just out of curiosity, what the heck is the rest of the ship doing when the last part of the story happens? I'm quite sure you can't just smash important ship hardware, alert security bots and have the entire rest of the crew unawares.

Also, for some extremely odd reason, I visualize the spaceship as an odd mix of the Ender's Game station, Biotics Lab from Killing Floor, and Rapture from Bioshock. Go figure.

Oh, and check out my post edit above yours. I didn't want to double post, but you ninja'd me

[General Battuta]

Pass it on, but please make it very clear the story cannot be replicated or posted online in any public form, because this will sink my chances of publishing. 

And:

Spoiler:

I'd envisioned the ship as mostly pretty empty. In the Aliens Sulaco school of things, rather than the Star Trek hundreds-of-crew notion.

[Scourge of Ages]

Spoiler:

You mentioned in the final plot exposition between the commander guy and [REDACTED] that a few members of the team had been lost and any memory of them erased. I thought they kept memory backups and clones for exactly the purpose that valuable members could not be lost. Even if they run out of bodies, the backup should still be there for whenever they're restocked, right? Or were the backups corrupted/infected/gone nuts?

[General Battuta]

Spoiler:

The other soldiers' memories of the lost ones was erased, but they themselves are probably still on disk somewhere. They just ran out of clones for them. So memory OF them was erased, but they weren't erased.

[Kolgena]

Spoiler:

How exactly do they run out of clones? You don't clone from an existing clone; you find a zygote and grow that in vitro. Unless, of course, the flash cloning somehow requires a mature copy, and people think it's a good idea to use the last backup...

And yes, I'll definitely make it clear that this is your private work. Thanks!

[General Battuta]

Spoiler:

There are limited resouces on-ship; they only run with three clones, and it takes months or years to ready new ones. It might have to be done at some kind of central facility, too. Cloning is haaard.

[Kolgena]

Spoiler:

Doesn't explain how it's possible to effectively "run out" of someone's body. It seems stupid to not keep at least one backup somewhere, especially given the shortage of effective soldiers. Unless of course, their headshotz quota wasn't being reached, and they were deemed a waste of resources.

[General Battuta]

Spoiler:

They all had THREE clone body backups on the ship at the start of the tour, not one. Those soldiers just had the misfortune to get killed three times. There were no more clones available until the ship went home to restock, and the whole plot is that they couldn't do that. The soldiers are still on disk but they have nothing to download into.

Did that not come across? It was a major plot point that Sunilben had already died once, and thus had only two clones remaining (which she used in her closing gambit.)

[Mongoose]

Unless I completely missed a message somewhere, I never got my hands on this to give it a look-see.  I'd really like the chance to heap praise upon you.

[Kolgena]

Spoiler:

They all had THREE clone body backups on the ship at the start of the tour, not one. Those soldiers just had the misfortune to get killed three times. There were no more clones available until the ship went home to restock, and the whole plot is that they couldn't do that. The soldiers are still on disk but they have nothing to download into.

Did that not come across? It was a major plot point that Sunilben had already died once, and thus had only two clones remaining (which she used in her closing gambit.)

Spoiler:

I knew that each soldier had 3 backups (that part was exceedingly clear), but I still don't get why Andire couldn't get replacements when he goes back to restock/rearm/refuel... I clearly missed something :/. The way he had to wipe memories that others had of the used-up-their-respawns soldiers made it seem like they were permanently off the team.

Also, I got the (wrong) impression that clones were made on the ship, though I don't know what gave me that idea. Probably my association of the ship to Biotics Lab

[General Battuta]

Spoiler:

The ship never went home to restock/rearm/refuel - that's why it was increasingly beat up. And it's possible that clones can be grown aboard ship, but that there simply hasn't been time; it may take many months or years.

And yes, the soldiers were 'permanently' off the team because their absence wouldn't fit with the original rollback memories. If they ever returned home or got new spare bodies, Andire could have used an earlier 'save state' where they were still present.

[Rand al Thor]

Just to put you at ease Battuta (and hopefully not insult Kolgena at the same time) I didn't have a problem getting that point with the supply shortage. I can't remember what made it so clear for me, it could be that you just missed one sentance Kolgena, but there it is.

[Kolgena]

That's quite possible that I missed something. I read the story in many rather spaced out sessions, and I think I was multitasking at the same time too :/ (Sorry, I'd have given your great story more attention, but I've been busy recently)

[Scourge of Ages]

Spoiler:

I think it was when Sunilben started to run about the ship and notice that stuff was broken, and they were low on ship missiles and stuff. Or was that part in the exposition too?

[General Battuta]

So I've redrafted this one again, with slight changes. The main character's last name is no longer Sunilben and I've tweaked some stuff for clarity.

I also made the decision to play up the physical symptoms of pregnancy a little more to make the story feel less like it was written by a dude who has no idea how a female body works.

Nobody actually got the biggest SF namedrop in it - the name Costaguana should be a hint.

[Scourge of Ages]

Wikipedia says that's very clever, but I would never have gotten it. Looking forward to reading this again (eventually at least).

[General Battuta]

Well I didn't want it to be too obvious. Nothing's as irritating as intentionally immersion-breaking tributes!

[CommanderDJ]

Just finished reading it. Things didn't really become clear until near the end, but I liked it that way. Kept me compelled to keep reading. Well done!