[FIZ]

I think a little bit.  Writing constrained fiction is hard.  Here we are, dissecting every piece of info that we all should have known from the clues before!   

The Tenebra was good.  No stress.  No controversy.  The release was awesome.  Congrats on an awesome release.  Have a drink on me.

Edit/ disclaimer: I know BP is a congregation of many talented storytellers/ FREDers/ all around great people.

[Crybertrance]

The Battman never gets frustrated.....ever. 

[Nyalatothep]

From the position of someone who is just starting to get into the sheer amount of awesome speculation and theorising and researching of the faintest clues in the story that is going on in the parts of the forum I did only glance over and never before got into as a mere BP-downloading lurker, I gotta say that I respect how well Battuta handles the whole thing, especially when Tenebra got some mixed reviews. To me his replies seem to be never arrogant, but also never giving up on what he defends, and he seems to always just reveal enough to dispute the theories at hand, without spoiling the joy of wild speculation by revealing too much.

Also, all of you guys are awesome. Seriously. I've read about extra information and lore and theories here, that I'd never have found or thought of on my own.

Just had to get that out there. I am just beginning to realize what potential this community always had.

[General Battuta]

what

[Colonol Dekker]

There's your answer dudes.

He's ok.

[Phantom Hoover]

gonna have to upgrade that what to a wat

[NGTM-1R]

The Battman never gets frustrated.....ever. 

ugh where do I begin

Campaign is about 30 missions. The story starts at mission 25. In the 25 missions before that:

1. You do side quests
2. Your buddy Tychus helps you out
3. People constantly warn you that someone on the ship is working for the Dominion and Mengsk has a gun to his/her head
4. Your buddy Tychus was mysteriously released from prison and is locked inside his suit and his suit is receiving mysterious signals
5. Raynor is puzzled about who could possibly be working for the Dominion.

Okay, I lied, there's a bit of macroplot:

1. Kerrigan invades the Dominion. This kills billions of people, is seen entirely off-screen, causes no particular panic or alarm in the characters, and is never really mentioned
2. Raynor takes missions to grab a few Xel'naga artifacts. It turns out Kerrigan is after them too. She races you to catch them by doing devastatingly clever things like

searching apartment buildings one by one

saying 'I'll get you next time, Jimmy!'

In mission 25 Raynor teams up with Valerian Mengsk to assemble the artifacts and attack Char. It turns out the artifacts build a miraculous Xel'naga Kerrigan-deinfesting machine. With just one push of the button, it can reverse Kerrigan's arc from Brood War!

(remember that great moment in brood war when jimmy was all 'you're beyond redemption, kerrigan, next time, for fenix, i'm going to kill you?' yeah that doesn't matter any more)

A chunk of the Dominion fleet and Raynor's one battlecruiser attack Char.

Remember, this is Char, where the whole Swarm has been holed up, evolving, since the end of Brood War.

The end of Brood War where Kerrigan wiped out a coordinated attack by the Dominion, UED, and Protoss.

Naturally, a much smaller Terran-only force does perfectly fine, lands on Char, never faces any serious problems because Jimmy's here, don't worry, and de-infests Kerrigan.

Tychus' big secret turns out to have been that he was working with Mengsk and he's supposed to kill Kerrigan.

Wow, Mengsk, nice planning. You let Tychus run rampant and help out in missions that nearly brought down your government, you didn't use him to track Raynor or anything like that - you just counted on the contrived long odds that at some point he'd be in shooting range of a helpless Queen of Blades. Sure.

But Raynor kills Tychus, fin

****ty ****ty piece of ****, also i failed to describe how all the writing was terrible because IT'S TIME TO KICK THIS REVOLUTION

INTO OVERDRIVE

e: oh there's an even more ****awful part

In a series of side missions Zeratul gives you via a psychic dream crystal, you learn about THE PROPHECY and THE CHOSEN ONE who is the only one who can stop THE DARKNESS

Zeratul has learned that a mysterious force named THE FALLEN O

sorry I had to stop to puke

THE FALLEN ONE has been manipulating events for eons! He corrupted the Zerg into ravenous beasts focused on destroying the Protoss! Fortunately, the well-meaning, good-hearted Overmind (i'm serious, the overmind was just 'manipulated') created Kerrigan to lead the swarm against DIABL no wait SARGER no hang on THE FALLEN ONE and his evil army of Protoss-Zerg hybrids!

In a vision of the distant future we see the Protoss race being wiped out because Kerrigan was killed and couldn't fulfill her destiny and now THE FALLEN ONE will plunge the whole universe into utter darkness

oh and tassadar isn't dead, he struck himself down but became powerful than you can imagine, now he hangs out with the spirit of the brovermind

welp

[Colonol Dekker]

Lol.





Brovermind.



 

[Aesaar]

I haven't been paying attention to the SC2 thread, so I had missed that post.

Battuta, you made my day.  Explained why SC2 (or at least SC2's non-gameplay parts) is **** far better than I could have.

[An4ximandros]

Well, Battuta certainly is a good rebuttal agent. His vexatious replies are certainly arguable but attentively though out. They make the current rotten world of entertainment ablate at the urgent need for good criticism and set our mental turntables agate.

[Luis Dias]

Battuta has been ubber nice and gentlemanly in HLP for the past months specially regarding BP and so on, so I don't know really what the hell you are talking about.

[swashmebuckle]

The whole thread is just a setup for saying "Butthurta", isn't it? Well I'm butthurta that my computer can't run BP, so uh...pun intercepted?