[Rampage]

Hilarious.

The al-Gebra Movement

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.

Author unknown.

[Knight Templar]

You better run before the mountain trolls get here....

[01010]

I smell math.

[Knight Templar]

I smell meth.

[aldo_14]

Well, stop buying cheap russian-brand vodka, then.

[Flipside]

I smell myth

[Knight Templar]

Zoose?

[DragonClaw]

@ conversation

[Knight Templar]

@

[neo_hermes]

[phreak]

indeed

where's CP

[kasperl]

ROFLMAO

this one is getting saved for my math teacher.

[diamondgeezer]

[Joey_21]

Heheh... Though I'm well beyond the the al-Gebra cult. I'm in the cult of the partial differentiation of multi-dimensional algebraic expressions.

[neo_hermes]

so what evil plot are you conguring up joey?

Edit: normal evil villian stuff or something creative.

[Joey_21]

Originally posted by neo_hermes
so what evil plot are you conguring up joey?

Edit: normal evil villian stuff or something creative.

I plan to... uhh... differentiate the integral of the sum of a p-series using complex differential analysis. Yeah...

[Rampage]

Originally posted by Joey_21


I plan to... uhh... differentiate the integral of the sum of a p-series using complex differential analysis. Yeah...

Nah!  I smell something with gradients and laplacians.

[delta_7890]

This is frightening.  My prob & stat (most painful class ever!) teacher printed this out and gave it to us in class to read.  Oo;  Never would've thought I'd see it here..