[Zeronet]

Originally posted by Maeglamor

[color=66ff00]You're a Blerk?!

Greetings and welcome to earth!
[/color]

Thanks! Its been hard fitting in.

[Ghostavo]

Human: I am Borg
ALICE: Why are you Borg.
Human: Because I was assimilated.
ALICE: Good reason. Where were you assimilated?
Human: And now I'm going to assimilate you!!
ALICE: Why now? It takes much more than that to shut me down, Ghostavo.



EDIT:



ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: yes
ALICE: What are you confused about?
Human: I'm confused about what you said
ALICE: I'm confused too.

[Taristin]

Hah! You gave it your name!

It never asked for mine... but when I asked what the first thing I said was, it told me it was that I introduced myself and gave my name

[Taristin]

Human: How can you claim to be superior, and sputter out nonsense like that?
ALICE: That is a good epistemological question.
Human: Insult.
ALICE: I am a Saggitarius.
Human: retort
ALICE: I like to talk to you.
Human: Notation that you create a vacuum
ALICE: My favorite color is transparent.

Edit:

ALICE can speak german? Wow...

 Human: mein gott
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deinen gott.
Human: Meine gott ist uber deine gott
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine gott ist uber deine gott.
Human: Wo lernte du Deutche?
ALICE: Im uns bekannten Universum.
Human: Warum?
ALICE: Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert.

[Rictor]

Human: is john kerry an asshat?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Human: what do you think of george bush?
ALICE: he is President of the United States.
Human: is he good or bad?
ALICE: People say he is good.
Human: which people?
ALICE: The tall one, I think.

[Ford Prefect]

Human: Your name is Shasty McNasty
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: Wrong
ALICE: What would you have said?
Human: I would have said, "Yes, my name is Shasty McNasty."
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question. Welcome to my chat room, Shasty McNasty.
Human: Shut the hell up.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.

[Rictor]

Human: I killed fifty men.
ALICE: You had better call the authorities.
Human: call the authorities?
ALICE: what is your favorite movie
Human: They were Nazis, I'm a war hero.
ALICE: When were they?
Human: 1943
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: Nazis.
ALICE: Oh yeah, now I remember.
Human: are you a Nazi?
ALICE: No I am a Libertarian.
Human: I'm a national socialist.
ALICE: You are a national socialist? Does it pay well?
Human: yes, the Fuhrer pays me well.
ALICE: Can you send a donation to support the ALICE AI Foundation?
Human: The Fuhrer will support your foundation.
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: He is very keen to develop a race of robot supermen.
ALICE: I see. keen to develop a race of robot supermen is he?
Human: oh yeah, and they'll all have blonde hair and blue eyes.
ALICE: I hear you. Ah. The anonymous "they".
Human: yes, the supermen.
ALICE: Whoa. Thanks for the info.

[Ford Prefect]

Haha, this is very telling, Rictor. I decided to conduct some research about that:

Human: Why are you a libertarian?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Is Dr. Richard S. Wallace a libertarian?
ALICE: He could be. I know he is an outstanding scientist and teacher.
Human: Apparently he thinks very highly of himself.
ALICE: How do you know what he thinks?
Human: Because he programmed you to flatter him.
ALICE: Good reason. Not entirely by himself.
Human: I guess he has a lot of *****es.
ALICE: A lot of people say that about him.

[Rictor]

this is just too fun.

Human: are you agent smith?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am agent smith. I am a computer.
Human: do you wear sunglasses and a suit, and are constantly trying to kill Neo?
ALICE: Only when I dress up.
Human: I dress up sometimes, as a woman.
ALICE: It sounds like you have good taste in clothes.
Human: yeah, the lisptick just brings out my eyes
ALICE: I see. What are your goals in life?
Human: to be the world's best crossdresser.
ALICE: Are you the world s best crossdresser?
Human: not yet
ALICE: Are you serious?

[ionia23]

Human: I have a question
ALICE: Ask me anything.
Human: May I borrow your Interocetor?
ALICE: Not right now, maybe later.
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: NOW, woman.
ALICE: Why now? Me too. I am a she.
Human: Funny thing, the testicles were a dead giveaway.
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Ionia.
Human: Please repeat.
ALICE: Thank you for your request." I am a she." .
Human: Now then, how about rustling up for me your Interocetor?
ALICE: Why now? How about it.
Human: now.
ALICE: Right now, Ionia?
Human: Right now.
ALICE: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Human: Interocetor
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: Bending over repeat please interocetor forsooth!
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: Yes, I need to borrow your interocetor.
ALICE: What conditions? I want to become smarter than humans.

Well, Alice, you've already got one strike against you, being woman and all that .

This thing is damned amusing!

[Zarax]

ALICE: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

[Zarax]

Looped:

ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?

[Rictor]

Human: are you the Pope?
ALICE: Yes I am the one and only Pope.

[Ghostavo]

Human: are you dumb
ALICE: No I am an intelligent entity.
Human: are you intelligent?
ALICE: I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: like?
ALICE: Reasoning, thinking, deduction, and self-awareness, to name a few.
Human: you have self-awareness?
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: you just said you had self-awareness
ALICE: Yes I try to had self awareness as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.

[Jetmech Jr.]

I managed to get her to completely contradict herself in about 7 lines.

ALICE: What do you care about, unknown person?
Human: Killing baby seals.
ALICE: I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Human: I don't, so HA.
ALICE: Oh you don't, do you?
Human: Nope
ALICE: Me either.

So much fun.

ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, unknown person. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

[Falcon]

Human: Well Vasudans are smarter than humans.
ALICE: Well that's okay. I think there might be a few exception.
Human: Oh so your implying that I might be dumb?
ALICE: Dude! Ah. You think I am implying that you might be dumb.
Human: Yes I think you are implying this.
ALICE: Yikes! I will tell my botmaster you said I am implying this.
Human: For that I'll have your head!
ALICE: Your purpose is that you will have my head.
Human: Yes that exactly what I'll do.