[WMCoolmon]

It's not late, it's early.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through HL,
Not a country was posting, Not even Israel.
The threads in forum fifty were all stickied with care,
In hopes the Source Code Project would soon release there.

The newbies were all banned using their AOL IP,
For posting new threads starting with F, S, and 3.
And Goober with his bugfix, and 'wich with his gun,
Had just settled down for some manly beer fun.

When out on 'NetD there arose such a lagger,
Goober sprang from his keg to see what was the matter.
Away to the Launcher he flew in a flash,
Tore open his build, and hoped it didn't crash.

The loading bar, as it started to glow,
Seemed entirely to move far too damn slow.
When what to his wandering eyes should be seen,
But Bobboau's screenname, and eight dots of pure green.

With a small pirate ship, so laden with flak,
Goober knew in a moment it must be a hack.
More jerky than Battlecruiser that ship seemed to move,
As if the young driver had packets to move.

"On glow points, glow maps, shine maps, and more perks!
On shadows, alpha env, and hi-poly hercs!
To the center of the mission, to that point with your load!
Now jump now, jump now, jump through that node!"

As poor newbies in the Lions' Den do die,
when to the jump node their debris quickly flies,
So into the wormhole Bobboau soon flew,
With two wings full of features, Goober followed too.

And then in a twinkling Goob saw in the vortex,
Raa Tor'h's subspace model, and Lightspeed's new tex.
His shields came down and he started to worry,
But Bobb appeared on his escort list via a SEXP.

His ship had Christmas Lights, from its bow to its stern,
and his hi-poly hercules had cockpits and burns;
The bundle of features he had in a sack,
and he looked like a fat chick with a very large rack.

His eyes - how short-sighted! His fingers how stubby!
His glasses were clean, for he was no dummy.
His half-open mouth still crumbed nachos,
And the beard on his chin was far from macho.

The remains of a waffle lay by his foot,
For the coder had never really learned how to cook.
He had an old chair and a big fat beer belly,
That shook when he laughed, although it was smelly.

His computer was l33t, with a Radeon in place,
And Goober sighed as he thought of his own gamer case.
But Bobb's high framerate gave Goober no tears,
For Microsoft help files were his only fears.

Bobb fired no weapons, but with CVS,
He uploaded his code tree; he left a big mess,
Features and bugs, making Goober say "Grr!",
Since release would be stalled now for two months for sure.

But Bobb engaged his jump drive, and his hercs followed galore,
And they went through more wormholes without leaving the corridor.
But Bobboau exclaimed as he warped out of sight,
"Beam-free for all, and to all a good fight!"

[Taristin]

You have more free time than me, and that's sad.

[vyper]

It took thought, I'll give you that.

[Goober5000]

[Taristin]

So it is always Bob's fault that the builds get held up! I knew it!

[Singh]

Ha! He must be responsible for the bugginess too!! Mob 'em!!!!

[übermetroid]

cool!  good job.