Yes it is Carl! Now I can't believe you've not gotten the spiel yet!
Exits are to the rear and left. They have been plastered shut with baguettes and peanut butter, so don’t try to use them. All hallways are monitored by sentry cannons that are equipped with n00b and spam detection systems, so don’t move. Now, don’t breathe. Stay like this for a while.
Under your seat you will find some of Raa’s cookies, Shrike’s dungeon pr0n, an0n’s graffiti, and a soggy newspaper containing news on the events of April 1, 2005; and the forum’s latest highlights, and a flame thrower. We ran out of napalm on January 7, 2001, so you’ll have to bludgeon people to death. Be sure to check out the Source Code Project, “A Journey of the Forgotten” in Hard Light Art, and the HLP Store, well, you’ve already discovered, so max out that credit card for HLP rewards miles, which can get you a trip anywhere from Capella to Gamma Draconis, courtesy of the NTF Air!
If for some dull reason you have avoided the sentries and are stuck wandering through the dank, dark ducts, stay armed to the teeth with lunch. Chances are, you’ll encounter Carl, our local Shivan, so if you do, set down your lunch and slowly step away. Hopefully he’ll leave you alone—he’s usually satisfied with those. On the other hand, if you follow Raa, our Professor Tor’h Coolguy Vasudan, you’ll see him enter a kitchen. Should you wish to peek inside, you’ll see him pull out a box, then a human head. Should he see you, he’ll pull out a machete…
Welcome again to HLP! Have a nice day.