[aldo_14]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/13/mp3_breast_implant/

[q]Here's an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.

We kid you not. According to UK tabloid the Sun - ever watchful for life-enhancing technology, especially when it's got a big jubs angle - BT Laboratories bod Ian Pearson reckons breast implants may as well do something useful if they're to be permanently installed, rather than just looking decorative.

Accordingly, he's proposed sticking an mp3 player in one dug, and a storage chip in the other. Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.

Likewise, God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario: Girlfriend: "Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Boyfriend: "Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven." ®

Bootnote

*Oh, OK then - Ian Pearson said "flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist". We prefer our solutions, naturally.
[/q]

Suggested playlists?  

[Wild Fragaria]

That's pretty cool.  It will out compete the new iPod

[Hippo]

how do you charge it?

[aldo_14]

Nipple clamps.

[Wild Fragaria]

Clamps sound a bit painful, what about a bra charger?

[aldo_14]

Aaah, you've thought about this I see...........

I'm more interested in where they'll stick the firewire port for transferring the music.

[karajorma]

*Wonders if he's going too far to ask Fragaria if she's considering getting one*

*Decides to ask for pics to make certain he is*

[Wild Fragaria]

Aldo, heard about wireless?

Karajorma, I don't object other women who want to get that, just not me.

[achtung]

Charging:  Car batteries anyone?

transfer:  Wireless?
EDIT: Fragaria beat me to it.

It's rediculous, they can put an MP3 player in a womans boob but you still can't adjust sizes on demand  

[aldo_14]

Originally posted by Wild Fragaria
Aldo, heard about wireless?
 

Where's the fun in that?

Originally posted by Swantz

It's rediculous, they can put an MP3 player in a womans boob but you still can't adjust sizes on demand  

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/09/24/breast_enlarging_ringtone/

Syngergy

[q]Long-term readers will certainly recall the heartwarming tale of mammarily-challenged student Michel, the US lass who launched an online appeal to raise cash for surgery to transform her "itty-bitty boobies to big tatas!"

Well, she needn't have bothered, because a Japanese man has developed a breast-augmenting ringtone which has had oriental A-cups downloading like crazed breastless women in the hope of aurally-driven überjubblies.

Hideto Tomabechi - who apparently cut his scientific spurs deprogramming members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult - claims that his deliciously-titled "Rockmelon" ditty uses "sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously". Tomabechio calls the subliminal mambooster a kind of "positive brainwashing" and further reckons that it's "a part of cognitive science".

Rather improbably, or should that be lamentably, Rockmelon enjoyed 10,000 downloads in its first week alone. One satisfied user said: "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped. But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!" A spokesman for Media Chic - which punts the melody online - confirmed: "We haven't done any advertising for it, so I suppose the tune's success has come about through word of mouth. We've even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger."

That's proof enough for us. Tomabechi says he's planning further ringtones to help people quit smoking, combat baldness and attract a mate. Whether the latter category will include a suitably stirring penis-pumping anthem is not noted. ®[/q]

[Ford Prefect]

The iTit: 10,000 songs in your bra plus syncing with iTunes, and controls at your fingertips.

[Wild Fragaria]

Originally posted by aldo_14


Where's the fun in that?

It's no fun having some wire sticking out any where from the human body, both male and female

[aldo_14]

Originally posted by Ford Prefect
The iTit

I thought that was Steve Jobs?

[BlackDove]

Quick, let's cram more bad puns into this thread!

[Rictor]

Originally posted by William Gibson
The "truth is stranger than fiction" factor keeps getting jacked up on us on fairly regularly, perhaps even exponentially. I think that particular to our time, I don't think our grandparent had to live with that.

[aldo_14]

Originally posted by Wild Fragaria


It's no fun having some wire sticking out any where from the human body, both male and female

Tell this guy......

[karajorma]

But Captain Cyborg isn't doing it cause it's fun. He's doing it cause he knows that one day the machines will rise up and enslave us.

[Wild Fragaria]

He sounded like a stubborn ass.  'Ass' doesn't listen to people you know

[aldo_14]

I thought it was because he was stark raving bonkers.

[karajorma]

That too.