[heretic]

Invalit ensign: Sir! that big %^#$ing thing is shooting back! what do we do?

heretic: As an excuse for the 200th post, I shall return resource draining, yet highly ineffective return fire, while yelling whitty catchphrases to be recycled in sequels.


invalid ensign: very good sir!
return fire!

[This message has been edited by heretic (edited 06-11-2001).]

[Carl]

meanwhile, on board a passing sathanus:

Shivan #26: bzzt! bzzt zzttzzt!
Shivan #87: bzzt zzbzz bzztzzt
Shivan #142: bzzt bzzt terran turret#weaks bzzt bzztzzt!!!!
Carl: bzzt bzztzzt bzzt BFreds! bzzt bzztzztzz! bzzt snipes bzzt AWACS bzztztzt destroy!

[NeoHunter]

While the interesting but silly battle continues, the Neptune-class cruiser GTC Murphy enters the area.

Some Female Ensign: Captain, we have entered the outskirts of the battle.

NeoHunter®: Very good. Looks like you did study how to calculate subspace exit points accurately.

Some Female Ensign: Yes, sir.

NeoHunter®: What's the situation?

Some Female Ensign: Very messy, sir. You better see yourself.

NeoHunter®: Very well. On screen.

*The front 29" screen flickers to life, displaying the battle ahead.*

NeoHunter®: Ensign, charge all beam cannons up. Let's go in and give that AWACS a wake up call.

Soem Female Ensign: Yes. sir. Engines at full.

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I want a better title!!!

GTD Excellence Webmaster
NeoHunter<                        [b][email protected][/b]                                      >
Not to mention a FREDder!

[wEvil]

**aboard the GTVIDn Wraith**

*uniformed people run about looking very efficient*

"well captain, are the batteries fully charged?"

*nobody on the bridge seems to be below the rank of captain*
"yes sir, we are at 100% combat readiness"

"very well, exit us from subspace just above that modified orion, and make sure the uranium mass driver beams hit it"

[This message has been edited by wEvil (edited 06-12-2001).]

[Carl]

 

Originally posted by wEvil:
combaqt

*The Sathanus warps into the middle of the fight with BFreds charged*

Carl: Bzztzzt bzzt bzzt bzzzzt it shouldn't be too hard to destroy a ship who's crew can't even spell.

Shivan#2403: Bzzt bzztzzt bzzt all captains!

Shivan#122: bzztzzt probably all played on insane with cheat codes bzzt

[wEvil]

who needs to spell when you can make beams like mine?



------------------
Proud to be british.
*ahem*

[delta_7890]

Male Commander:  Your excellency, we have reached the battlefield, and all weapons, included the MDS cannon, are fully charged and ready to be fired.

Delta:  Very good.  What better way to field test the GTVJ Dark Supremecy, than in a battle?

Commander:  Which ship should we fire upon first my lord?

Delta:  That AWACS poses a threat and is attempting to jam our sensors.  Take it down, commander.

Commander:  At once, my lord.  (Turns to the rest of the bridge)  You have your orders, destroy that AWACS!

[Baz]

Commander:

- " Officer, start all pies"
- " Pies sir? "
- " Yes, we'll kill those shivans with a pie on their face.... ups, that my dinner, sorry "
- " Start all beams "
- " Yes sir, up yours shivan assholes"

Shivans:

- " Yo, are those assholes going to fire? "
- " It seems so Master Bee"
- " When they fire do a beam counter - attack " Bee Officer "

More to cum! Come (sorry)  


------------------
- God, I'm a space sim's freak -

[Jabu]

*Thousands of large Progenitor warships jump out of hyperspace in the Sol system and mercilessly crush any opposition*

Sending in:flagship.

*A huge ship jumps in and turns it's massive cannon to bear on the third planet*

Activate:RAM beams:target:Sol 3. RAM:them:until:give up!

[Darkage]

*on the brigde of the GTD Anti Awacs*

Captian:Ensign when do we reach the Battlefield?

Ensign:Going out of subspace now captain.

Captian:Good power up the quantem beams and fire at the AWACS!!!

Ensign#2:Thats not an Awacs Ensign#1 thats the GTD Darkage.

Captian: oops well jump back to base ensign need more space crack.

Ensign#1:YES SIR!

Ensign#1:Powering up Space crack drive  

And they sniffed hapaly ever after  

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                 [email protected]                          
we all die but when we die we die whit spacecrack.
staff member of
Soc Inferno
iqc 102628858

[This message has been edited by darkage (edited 06-12-2001).]

[This message has been edited by darkage (edited 06-12-2001).]

[Jabu]

The Progenitor fleet just destroyed Earth, but got wasted by a freak accident that overloaded all their reactors at once and the entire fleet blew up. Then the Gold Heart went flying by.

On the GTD Aegirsson, Captain Jake Logan wakes up with a hangover, again.

[Snipes]

...ok, it was funny when it was just the three, but now it's lame...

Snipes: Helm, Engage subspace drives. We're going back home to Tania Austrailis.

helm: Aye, Aye, Sir.

[Jabu]

Okay whatever, Captain Jake Logan gets pulled into a dimensional vortex and ends up as an Admiral on the GTD Starwave, on route to Vega for refits... the story continues in Spacebattles  

[Raven2001]

 

Originally posted by Snipes:
...ok, it was funny when it was just the three, but now it's lame...

Snipes: Helm, Engage subspace drives. We're going back home to Tania Austrailis.

helm: Aye, Aye, Sir.

Sensor officer: Sir! The Bastion has fired a salvo at us and has jumped away!

Raven: Use the AAA pulsars to shoot the bombs, get me a fix for their jump coordinates and pursue them in subspace! Comm officer, send an hail to the Captain NeoHunter that we need assistence in the pursue... oh and tell Baz to stop throwing pies at Shivans...

Comm officer and Sensor officer: Yes Sir!!

[Starwing]

Eternity enters sol system, seeing that earth has been destroyed.

Computer: Calculating, they were faster.

I see... Let's go back playing with the Bastion.
Damned, will I ever get a good fight? I live in the wrong time zone...

[Snipes]

Nav guy: Sir! We are being pursued by Raven's craft!

Snipes: Foolish... Doesn't he know he cannot oppose me in Tania Austrailis? That system is my Fortress. He'll be ripped to shreds... Bridge! Connect me with United Space Industries!

*Halo Screen emerges*

Secretary: United Space Industries. Oh, Snipes, how can I help you?

Snipes: Ready my Argo Deus, I've got some unfinished business...

Secretary: Right away sir.

[Baz]

Inside GTVA Krishna (my cap ship, way deep in my mind (can't bring her out to you guys see it)

"- Laser and Missile Controllers , please intercept Snipes ship"

"- Beams Controller, get Raven's ship to dust, aim to their weapons subsystem and reactors  

See? I'm regitered!   Couldn't miss the oportunity to make your ship " Dust to dust ashes to ashes " Bye Bye Raven (Don't try to defend your ship, I suprised ya from a fast subspace enter)  

I like you Snipes! (sorry by the attack)  

[DragonClaw]

   Meanwhile aboard the GTD Hellsfire, a Hecate Destroyer

Command: Hellsfire™, prepare to enter the field of battle
DragonClaw™, commander of the helm, engineering, weapons, and shield stations:Roger that Command, just let me reach over there... ah there we go!
Command: Engage subspace drives Hellsfire™!
DragonClaw™, command of the helm, engineering, weapons, and shield stations: OK Command, just make up your mind!
Command: Disengage again and fire your cannons immediately!
DragonClaw™, command of the helm, engineering, weapons, and shield stations:Disengaging again and firing my cannons immediately sir!
Command: Scratch that Hellsfire, get back in subspace!
DragonClaw™, command of the helm, engineering, weapons, and shield stations:Screw you Command! I'm going in!

****Hellsfire™ warps in****

------------------
    -Director of the staff of Hidden Terror.
   -Fleet Admiral of The Ancients Armada

         

The fear always controls our attitude, let us fear no more!

[Snipes]

Snipes: Bridge! Status report!

Bridge: Hull at 100%, That attack only inflicted superficial damage.

Snipes: Damnit! Psycho's gonna have my ***  if the paint is even touched!

Bridge: Arriving in Tania Austrailis now.

Snipes: Good, is my Argo Deus ready?

Bridge: That's affirmative, It is on docking route now.

Snipes: Excellent.

[Raven2001]

Ensign: Sir, Baz's ship has targeted our weapons subsystems!

Raven: That guy is so foolish, he should know that our Pulsars have independant targeting... he eats too many pies... Gunnery Control, open fire at Baz's vessel. Suck on this traitor!

Gunnery Control: ZAP ZAP ZAP! Done Sir! We've damaged theyr weapons control!

Raven: Nice! Now send them a torpedo pie.

Gunnery Control: We don't have tgose anymore sir... our fighter pilots ate them yesterday...

Raven: Dammit! Comm officer, esatablish a connection to the Bastion.

Commm officer: Aye Aye sir.

Transmission follows:

Raven: Hey general Snipes, don't you want to have some fun? Ya see, there's this guy called Baz that is from my town, but isn't has smart has me and only knows how to eat pies! Don't you wanna take him out for me???


See Baz... I allways win!!!


Snipes must be thinking that these Portuguese guys are crazy... he's right