[Charismatic]

Oh, that's right, I forgot... the flamethrowers have holy water, and the knives haven't been sharpened in a decade.  Whew! 

But that is HLP knives. I bet a few of us can smuggle sharp knives. Your' not out of the woods yet!

Redsniper, if I didn't put that little snippet at the bottom, my rep would once again be trashed if you guys thought i was serious after reading. I already have a crapy title, i dont need a second. Lol.
Hey, i tired.

[EAD_Agamemnon]

Here by mine on The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Have Diarrhea

Although I generally believe that the less said about The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea, the better, I do feel obligated to say a few things about The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's coprophagous prank phone calls. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea should not feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear. Not now, not ever. Look at what's happened since The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea first ordered its surrogates to have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions: Views once considered homophobic are now considered ordinary. Views once considered raucous are now considered perfectly normal. And the most devious of The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's views are now seen as gospel by legions of pertinacious, quasi-imperious oligarchs.

When I say that debate with The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea or a search for common ground is both a fruitless exercise and a suicidal strategy, I consider this to mean that one of The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its solutions that grant it the freedom to undermine the current world order, never the original problem. We must disabuse The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea of the notion that it can change its illaudable ways. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to perform noble deeds. You must be the one to challenge it to defend its rantings or else to change them. And you must inform your fellow man that I have a plan to shed the light of truth on the evil that is The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea. I call this plan "Operation carve solutions that are neither cacodemonic nor petulant". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that if The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea thinks that it can make me recant all of the claims I've made in this letter, then it's barking up the wrong tree.

Although it's easy to sit in the press box and criticize, when The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea hears anyone say that when some disagreeable imbeciles first introduced me to its caustic, power-drunk opuscula, I felt that civilization had reached a nadir of bleakness, its answer is to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering. That's similar to taking a few drunken swings at a beehive: it just makes me want even more to weaken the critical links in its nexus of judgmental metagrobolism. If you need proof that The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea exhibits bad sportsmanship, then just take a look at The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea. I repeat: The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good.

The impact of The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's nerdy, imprudent protests is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that we must maintain social tranquillity. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that I would never take a job working for The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea. Given its pugnacious prevarications, who would want to? If The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea truly wanted to be helpful, it wouldn't call evil good and good evil. And what of it? The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea insists that the media should "create" news rather than report it. Sorry, The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so."

I don't mean to throw fuel on an already considerable fire, but if it weren't for violent quacks, The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea would have no friends. As I remove the veil of ignorance I have lived behind, I find that I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea of planning to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that I want to thank it for its activities. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how voluble The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea can be. Viewing all this from a higher vantage point, we can see that The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's canards should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that The Stupid People Who Leave the Toilet Seat Up When You Got Diarrhea's exegeses are intended to establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion." And that, in my view, is our real problem.

[EAD_Agamemnon]

OOOOOOO!

For those in the US...send a complaint to the White House using that. Recently I found you can actually do that, but using that generator.....

Or perhaps you shouldnt...as you might get the REAL Men In Black knocking on your door the next day.

[Bob-san]

Is Mr. Darth Vader hoping that the readers of this letter won't see the weakness of his argument relative to mine? If you've ever wondered about the answer to that question, then read on. It may help if I begin my discussion by relating an innocuous story in order to illustrate my point: A few days ago I was arguing with a particularly headstrong, warped hoodlum who was insisting that exclusionism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. I tried to convince this salacious rube that I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Mr. Vader to pursue a twofold credo of nihilism and interdenominationalism, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Mr. Vader claims that society is screaming for his traducements. If there's a rule, and he keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, you may be worried that he will suppress all news that portrays him in a bad light before you know it. If so, then I share your misgivings. But let's not worry about that now. Instead, let's discuss my observation that if I am correctly informed, we must use our minds and spirits to halt Mr. Vader's efforts to put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor. In any case, we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with him. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that we must reveal some shocking facts about his disquisitions if we are ever to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on Mr. Vader's snivelling, treasonous grievances. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must honestly pursue because Mr. Vader's shock troops believe that Mr. Vader's claque is looking out for our interests. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that the majority of misguided heresiarchs are heroes, if not saints, can believe anything, especially if it's false. If you've read this far, then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me. Far be it for me to create massive civil unrest.

To put it crudely, Mr. Vader is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. Is it not positively the distinguishing feature of his snow jobs to trample over the very freedoms and rights that he claims to support? What, then, does "antianthropomorphism" mean? It means considerably more than any dictionary is likely to say. Mr. Vader's responses to my attempts to place blame where it belongs -- in the hands of Mr. Vader and his drossy, cruel legatees -- generally involve crying, whining, and wrapping himeself in a self-protecting mantle of superiority. Surprisingly, the courts and our elected officials are way ahead of Mr. Vader in embracing this simple fact.

Yet there's much more to it than that. While there is no evidence that the conflation of conceited four-flushers and vapid nose-in-the-air snobs in Mr. Vader's undertakings is either dramatic hyperbole or a fatal methodological flaw, it is clear that Mr. Vader claims that it is his moral imperative to biologically or psychologically engineer stubborn slaves to fashion to make them even more crass than they already are. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another careless attempt to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts. I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to discuss, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that Mr. Vader is driving me nuts. I can't take it anymore! We are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which barbaric, ghastly blowhards like Mr. Vader are utterly absent. The other road leads into the darkness of solecism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? I once asked Mr. Vader that question -- I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that Mr. Vader's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. To summarize my views: I sometimes have to bite my tongue pretty hard to avoid saying what I really feel about Mr. Darth Vader.


Thus, my complaint about Darth Vader!!

[Sandwich]

Osama Bin-Laden's sound bites have been getting a lot of undeserved attention recently. Let us note first of all that I am confident that bestial, insidious lounge lizards will come to their own conclusions about all of these matters. Let's remember that. Now, I don't mean for that to sound pessimistic, although I don't see how Bin-Laden can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that Bin-Laden is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. Just the other day, some of his stroppy shills forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Bin-Laden's blueprint for a world in which the most shabby reprobates I've ever seen are free to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that Bin-Laden tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. He is a big fan of vigilante justice. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his grumpy politics. Bin-Laden reminds me of the thief who cries "Stop, thief!" to distract attention from his thievery. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that he is our worst nightmare. I know you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain shortly, but first, I should state that Bin-Laden had previously claimed that he had no intention to waste natural resources. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what he did. Next, he denied that he would keep essential documents hidden from the public until they become politically moot. We all know what happened then. Now, Bin-Laden would have us believe he'd never ever create an intimidating, hostile, or demeaning environment. Will he? Go figure. My view is that Bin-Laden has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. To close, let me accentuate that if we pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny, we shall not only survive Osama Bin-Laden's attacks; we shall prevail.

[jr2]

...wow...

That's just spooky.