I welcome anyone to even try to explain how this is the kind of thing God/Allah/whatever would want, I'd love a good laugh.
OK, I'll try.
You see, when Allah created the world, bears were opposed to the humans having five fingers, they wanted four 'cause it would be equal to theirs and represent the secret sacred number of Allah, but Allah said no due to undisclosed reasons and he banished the bears to the land of no honey and only fish but the Great Bear blah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blahblah, blah and that's why in Islam, a bear named Allah is a capital and serious offense.