Author Topic: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.  (Read 1896523 times)

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Offline Dilmah G

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
It's been almost a decade since I've booted up the game, and over six years since I used to regularly log on here...but I'm BACK. FS is downloading on Steam and the FSO Installer link is open in a new tab.

Quote from: Geto Boys
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

 

Offline The E

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
It's been almost a decade since I've booted up the game, and over six years since I used to regularly log on here...but I'm BACK. FS is downloading on Steam and the FSO Installer link is open in a new tab.

Quote from: Geto Boys
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Welcome back, my man! How've you been?
Let there be light
Let there be moon
Let there be stars and let there be you
Let there be monsters and let there be pain
Let us begin to feel again
--Devin Townsend, Genesis

 

Offline Androgeos Exeunt

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Nice to see you again, Dilmah. :D
My blog

Quote: Thursday, 24 September 2020, 0008hrs UTC, #hlp-squad
Goober5000
Yeah, if anyone notices an error like this, please let us know.
According to the log, about five people tried to upload attachments unsuccessfully.  You're the first person to mention it

[`_`]
I think 4 of them were me lol

 

Offline Mobius

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Welcome back, Dilmah! It's been a while indeed. I recently got back, too - about a couple months ago.  :)
The Lightblue Ribbon | Website

Inferno Series: Inferno: Nostos - Inferno: Alliance
FSCRP Contributions: Aftermath - Deep Blood - Warzone
A tribute to FreeSpace in my book: Riflessioni dall'Infinito
My interviews: [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
It's like you've never been away :yes:

We've got avatars now :nervous:

 

Offline Mongoose

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Welcome back!

(Use Knossos!)

 
Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
My kids are starting their fall semester tomorrow.  What a lousy excuse for a summer this has been.  I mean, I am extremely grateful that no one in our family has gotten sick yet.  We have friends who have lost family members to COVID.  But looking at this through a nine-year-old's eyes, summer has come and gone and we've done basically nothing.  No road trips.  No playing with friends except through video (with the doors shut tight and blankets stuffed in the cracks because heaven help them if their un-cool parents heard them PLAYING).  In the grand scheme of things, we're ridiculously lucky, but I compare this summer to mine when I was a kid, hanging out with the cousins at my grandma's house, making Papa furious when he discovered we'd been using his prize Bartlett pears as projectile weapons in a game of "war..."  They're awfully lonesome.  They are coping remarkably well, but they are so much sadder than they were a year ago.

So, I'm signing off on "parent of guardian" on half a dozen syllabus and other forms from teachers and admins.  Thank goodness the city government and school districts are more frightened of COVID than the idiots at the capitol.  We're doing all school work online for at least the first six weeks.  Officially, after that, face to face or online both become "options."  I predict an armed revolt will come first.  All the teachers and parents I've talked to are terrified of the possibility of face-to-face classes beginning before vaccinations have taken place.

But one of the forms coming across my email is an update on special education.  And it strikes me all over again how strange it is that, in Texas at least, the gifted and talented program has been lumped under special education for children with disabilities.  Is that what my kids are to the state?  Disabled?  Is that what intelligence and creativity are now?  I'm probably over-reacting, but it just got under my skin all over again how disdainful this country is of people with the unmitigated gall to have been born with half a brain on their shoulders.

Oh well.  I hope you all are being as safe as you can, out there.  I'm trying not to watch the casualty list climb.  I've done everything I can think to do not to be part of the problem.  Waiting for this country to regain its senses is like watching a car crash in slow motion.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day to day living that wears you out." – Anton Chekhov

 

Offline Su-tehp

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
My kids are starting their fall semester tomorrow.  What a lousy excuse for a summer this has been.  I mean, I am extremely grateful that no one in our family has gotten sick yet.  We have friends who have lost family members to COVID.  But looking at this through a nine-year-old's eyes, summer has come and gone and we've done basically nothing.  No road trips.  No playing with friends except through video (with the doors shut tight and blankets stuffed in the cracks because heaven help them if their un-cool parents heard them PLAYING).  In the grand scheme of things, we're ridiculously lucky, but I compare this summer to mine when I was a kid, hanging out with the cousins at my grandma's house, making Papa furious when he discovered we'd been using his prize Bartlett pears as projectile weapons in a game of "war..."  They're awfully lonesome.  They are coping remarkably well, but they are so much sadder than they were a year ago.

So, I'm signing off on "parent of guardian" on half a dozen syllabus and other forms from teachers and admins.  Thank goodness the city government and school districts are more frightened of COVID than the idiots at the capitol.  We're doing all school work online for at least the first six weeks.  Officially, after that, face to face or online both become "options."  I predict an armed revolt will come first.  All the teachers and parents I've talked to are terrified of the possibility of face-to-face classes beginning before vaccinations have taken place.

But one of the forms coming across my email is an update on special education.  And it strikes me all over again how strange it is that, in Texas at least, the gifted and talented program has been lumped under special education for children with disabilities.  Is that what my kids are to the state?  Disabled?  Is that what intelligence and creativity are now?  I'm probably over-reacting, but it just got under my skin all over again how disdainful this country is of people with the unmitigated gall to have been born with half a brain on their shoulders.

Oh well.  I hope you all are being as safe as you can, out there.  I'm trying not to watch the casualty list climb.  I've done everything I can think to do not to be part of the problem.  Waiting for this country to regain its senses is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

Take heart. November is less than 100 days away and we'll vote the Republicans out of the White House and Senate. Once Democrats have the trifecta of the White House, the House of Representatives and the Senate, then the healing can begin. The first thing we need to do is get rid of the filibuster. The second thing is add four more seats to the Supreme Court. The third thing is to get rid of the Electoral College. The longer the Republican Party is stuck in the wilderness, the sooner it will stop being a death cult.
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Offline Dilmah G

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
It's like you've never been away :yes:

We've got avatars now :nervous:
It's good to be back!

Hmm, avatars, hey? Let me work on that one.

 

Offline SL1

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
I'm dealing with severe OCD, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

I posted back in October about losing my car, and I think that loss triggered an extreme worsening of my OCD. It was bad before, but now it takes me three hours to wash my hands after using the bathroom, and I've become utterly terrified of it. My bathroom has become a torture chamber and handwashing has become a trauma. This is a living hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I feel the need to vent about this wherever I can.

  

Offline DefCynodont119

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
SL1, If you need help, there is always this: (in the US)

Quote
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.



Also the International OCD Foundation website:

https://iocdf.org/
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Offline SL1

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
SL1, If you need help, there is always this: (in the US)

Quote
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.



Also the International OCD Foundation website:

https://iocdf.org/


Thanks. Maybe I'll take a look at those. I'm seeing a new therapist, too, but I don't have a very good feeling about him so far, nor do I have much hope for things in general. In any case, thank you very much for being supportive.

 

Offline Damage

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
I have a very serious need to vent, and this may be the healthiest way for me to do it.  I don't know any of you personally, but I feel you generally have peoples' best interests at heart.  What I'm getting at is, I don't think anyone will take any of this personally.

When my first son was very newly born, he was diagnosed with a semi-rare syndrome that required multiple abdominal surgeries to correct.  To sum up, everything went terrific, he is healthy and almost 14 now.

But at the time, I made a decision that haunted me and followed me for quite some time.  My wife stayed at the hospital with him (a major regional facility, nationally recognized, not going to be more specific so don't ask) but I went back home because circumstances made that seem like a reasonable choice.  There wasn't anything for me to do, my wife would be with him, and she could and did give me regular calls to let me know how things were progressing.  This lasted maybe less than two weeks, but I don't remember specifically.  For several months afterward, I felt guilty for not being there despite the positive outcome.  I told myself that I would be a good father for him, and spend time with him and do things with him to make it up to him.

I have succeeded and failed multiple times at this.

But all of that has paled in comparison to the trials of this last week.

My wife, whom I've known and loved for over 20 years now went in for a scheduled operation last week to remove her gall bladder.  This was something that had been expected for a few months, and after one postponement due to Covid restrictions, it went very well.  I brought her home late that afternoon, and things were progressing apparently normally.

Fast forward to Saturday evening, when she was not feeling well.  We took a short walk, then she had a light meal to take her prescription pain med, after which she sat down to relax as much as possible.  A couple hours later, she took a shower, and I went to help her get cleaned up and dressed as usual.  This is where things went wrong

She felt sharp pain in the chest, had some trouble breathing, her body was trembling but her pulse was trying to race.  After a phone call, we took her to the ER, where she collapsed in the entryway as I was trying to walk her in.


The doctors started treating the blood clotting that was the issue, but this caused other problems that the facility here at home can't handle properly.  They asked me and I made the instinctive choice to have her airlifted to the Major Regional Facility I talked about earlier.  I felt that if they could do such a good job on our infant son, they would be the right choice to handle a grown woman with internal bleeding issues.


But due to Covid restrictions (because she tested positive) I won't be allowed in the ICU with her.  No visitors are allowed into a Covid-positive unit...although rules were bent for me last night to allow me to see her before she was flown away.

Since I can't be there to
...do nothing but watch her sleep and occasionally wake up for seconds at a time...I've made the choice again to just be at home.

I also have two children who need their father right now more than ever, because they are scared of what might happen.

There's also less reason for me to be physically there...all I could possibly do is answer questions and phone calls...all of which I can do here.

But again, the decision is making me feel like the worst person alive.

I *DO* believe that my wife will eventually be made healthy, even though it may take several weeks of recovery time.  I have to believe there will be a positive outcome to this.


Am I doing the right thing?  or am I a coward?  Am I going to end up regretting this forever?

--Feeling Miserable At Home
I didn't feel like putting anything here.  Then I did it anyway just to be contrary.

 

Offline DefCynodont119

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
@Damage

Make it clear to her that you wanted to be there, but couldn't.

This all seems like it's out of your control, It doesn't seem like you could even make a choice given the lack of options.

If your family understands that, then you should not feel too guilty about it.


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Offline The E

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Yeah, dude, don't stress out about it. Yes, it absolutely sucks that you can't be there to offer comfort and support, but as you've described it, there's plenty that absolutely does need doing at home, and also *gestures at world* all of that going on that is outside of your control.
Let there be light
Let there be moon
Let there be stars and let there be you
Let there be monsters and let there be pain
Let us begin to feel again
--Devin Townsend, Genesis

 
Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Yeah, dude, don't stress out about it. Yes, it absolutely sucks that you can't be there to offer comfort and support, but as you've described it, there's plenty that absolutely does need doing at home, and also *gestures at world* all of that going on that is outside of your control.

Yeah that! And if you're personally feeling bad, it may help you to put yourself in your wife's shoes: if you were in her position, what would you want the healthy partner to do? Absolutely to take care of your children, and stay safe, to keep the ill one from worrying.

It'll all work out, and when it does, she'll be happy that you and the kids are safe.

 

Offline Damage

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
thanks for your helpful words--really mean that.  as I said, though, I really needed to just vent that all out, and aiming it at the family seemed wrong.  Not that perfect strangers are better, but

for what it's worth, there's been a huge amount of support from both of our families, and everybody has said some similar things.

If you're interested, I may be able to visit her soon after all.
I didn't feel like putting anything here.  Then I did it anyway just to be contrary.

 
Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
We went through similar circumstances with my mother-in-law recently.  It's not the same as it being your wife.  Not even close, but I was watching a lot of the hand-wringing going on with my father-in-law and my wife.  It was truly agonizing for them not to be able to be with her, even though intellectually they all knew it was the right thing to do.  Sister-in-law lives in the same town, but she's got a 9-month-old and absolutely cannot risk bringing something home.  Wife and I live 5 hours away, and all we could do even if we drove all that way was stand outside the hospital and wring our hands.  Even my father-in-law was not allowed in the building.  Not even when it was over and time to take her back home.  They wheeled her out to the car and helped her in, but they were dead serious about not allowing any additional risk of contagion into the hospital.

They have to be.  Other people's lives depend on it.

So, staying away and taking care of the kids may seem cold, but it's not.  It's the most compassionate thing you can do.  Stay in touch with her in the meantime and let her facetime / zoom / skype / whatever with you and the kids.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day to day living that wears you out." – Anton Chekhov

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
Don't fret. 

Also out of curiosity.... What kind of major are you?

 

Offline Damage

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Re: W-H-I-Y-L - boom shake-shake shake the-room.
In case anyone was concerned, things have gotten a lot better.  Her situation has dramatically improved, she's well on her way to a recovery.  Not saying she's perfectly better, healed, and ready to go home, because there's still a long road ahead until she's going to be anything like normal again.  But it's going the right directions.

Thank you to any- and every-one who gave any kind of support through words, prayers, or just thoughts.



PS.   I'm just a plain old major.

Major Damage, at your service.
I didn't feel like putting anything here.  Then I did it anyway just to be contrary.